Descent into Desire (4 page)

“No!”

“Why not?”

“You know why not. Loving you has certain complications.”

“But I don’t want her help. I want her to tell me if Persephone could love me.”

“That would not be fair. I won’t allow it.”

“Nothing will change your mind?”

Zeus shook his head.

Hades reached out with his mind. Persephone was in her room, crying. He felt as if an icy hand had gripped his heart. “She’s upset. Please go to her.”

“I might not be your best defender,” he said.

“I don’t care. I’m not asking for that. I want her to feel better.”

He nodded slowly. “You know, I talked to Aphrodite.”

“You did?”

“Yes. She’s been keeping to herself lately, so it seemed a good excuse. She confirmed you do love Persephone.”

“I already knew that. You should have as well.”

He shrugged. “I’ll get to the point. I would love for you two to be happy, but I’d rather see your heart broken than hers. Is that clear?”

“Perfectly. It’s what I’d prefer as well.”

“You and I have never fought the way Poseidon and I do, but I’m willing to make a special exception.”

Hades nodded. He and Zeus had rarely disagreed on anything. For the first time in his existence, he wouldn’t be able to fall back on Zeus’ help. “I understand.”

“You better.” Zeus disappeared.

Hades’ gaze fell on the two drinks. They both exploded, glass shards flying everywhere. He left the room quickly, wanting to be away from the scene of his failure.

* * * *

“Persephone?”

She jumped, but then she realized the voice belonged to Zeus. She tried to wipe away the tears, but she knew her face was pink and blotchy as she turned to look at him. “Yes?”

“It’s a pretty stupid question, but are you all right?”

She nodded. “Yeah. Just pissed.”

“I suppose so. Would you like to tell me about it?”

“You already know what’s happened, I’m sure.”

“I know, but I thought you might want to talk.”

She did, but she had no idea what to say or even where to begin. “I don’t understand. He’s not the man I was talking to.”

“I don’t think you were expecting a man, much less a god. I think you were expecting a much younger mortal. Am I right?”

“I guess. What kind of god spends his nights on the Internet?”

“Perhaps a very lonely one.”

She rolled her eyes. “Why does he think he’s in love with me?”

“Is that what’s really bothering you?”

“Yes!”

Zeus nodded. “Your mother is worried about you.”

“I’m sure she is. Any snow on the ground yet?”

“She’s still playing with wind and lightning at the moment.”

“Well, tell her I’m still a virgin and likely to stay that way.”

“I’m not going to tell her anything, not yet anyway.”

“I really have to stay that long?”

“Yes. Do you want to leave? It’s not the kind of precedent I want to set, but ultimately I could break his spell. And I will, if you want me to.”

She thought about it. She wanted to leave because she was angry, not because she wanted to be away from Hades. She wasn’t sure if she was angrier he wouldn’t have sex with her or that he’d tricked her because he’d thought she’d run away like a scared little girl.

“No, I don’t, but I’m pretty mad.”

“Because he used magic?”

She nodded. “Yes. It shows what he thinks of me. I’m a spoiled child who’ll run away when she can’t have what she wants.”

“I think he knows you better than that. The thought of you leaving frightened him.”

She knew he was probably right, but that didn’t take away the hurt of finding out so abruptly that he didn’t trust her completely. “Maybe. I still think this shows how little he believes in me. Why do I have to love him for us to have sex? I care about him. Why isn’t it enough?”

“Hades got most of the honor when it was passed out among me and him and Poseidon.”

“Honor? Tricking me into thinking he was human? Giving me that drink so I couldn’t leave?”

“Love makes even gods do ridiculous things, things they regret later.”

“So he ran to his room to cry?”

Zeus laughed. “No. We had a little chat. After I knocked him flat on his face.”

“Really?” That was pretty exciting, the king of the gods standing up for her. She managed to smile.

“Yes, I did. He upset my favorite sweetheart. I had to do it.”

“What does everyone else think?”

“Hera and I were happy until he did this. She’s very worried. She wants the two of you together.”

“You must too. You’re definitely in favor of it.”

“He’s my brother, and I know he’s good enough for you, even if he isn’t acting like it. I’d like for you both to be happy, but I think I see the problem now.”

“What?”

“You don’t really know him. When he was talking to you, he knew exactly who you were. He had the advantage. He knew what to say and how to say it. He knew everything about your life, so it seemed to you that this stranger completely understood you. It was his first mistake. He’s frustrated you don’t understand, but that’s not fair to you.”

She raised her eyebrows. “Wow. That’s a good point. I wasn’t thinking about it like that. It explains how he can feel so much when my feelings are just beginning. He knew what he was getting into. He was a mystery to me.”

“I’m not here to argue in his favor. I want you to know I’m here. Hera can’t come to you, but you can talk to her through your mirror, or a pool of water. Your cell phone still works, but I thought you might like to know you could see people.”

“I’m not ready to talk to anyone yet. I’ll get worked up or confused.”

“Am I bothering you now?”

“No, you’re fine. I need time though. I have to stay here, so I can wait a few days and then know what I want to say to him.”

“I’ll leave you to it then.”

“Wait! What else is going on up there?”

“It’s only been two days.”

“I know, just tell me.”

“Your mother’s having a fit, and the weather is terrible. Apollo and Aphrodite are both acting like freaks, to use your favorite word.”

She smiled. She’d needed that. He knew how to tease her in a way that made her feel loved instead of stupid and childish. She knew she didn’t have a father, and even though she’d definitely had a crush on him for part of her life, Zeus filled the role very well. He’d never once tried to seduce her, and that showed his love for her more than anything else possibly could have. “Apollo is a freak. He’s the epitome of a male chauvinist pig. He used to be so sweet.”

Zeus scratched his chin. “I don’t remember that.”

She laughed. “Yes, you do. He used to be sweet and charming. Now he’s smooth and charming. Not the same thing at all.”

“And you think you know nothing about men?”

Her smile faded. “If Hades really loves me, why are we having so much trouble communicating?”

“For one thing, you’ve only had a couple of face-to-face conversations. Your relationship is beginning. He needs to realize that. He wants to win your love all at once.”

Cerberus put his left head on her knee.

Zeus made a face. “Do you like him?”

“I love him!” she declared as he scratched behind his ears.

“You and Hades may be fated to be together then. I can’t get used to him.”

“Too many heads?”

Cerberus stood up and walked to Zeus, sitting at his feet and staying perfectly still.

“And too many brains.” He patted the middle head. “No offense, old boy. I’m a bulldog man myself.”

“Thank you, Zeus. I think I’ll be more eloquent the next time I talk to Hades.”

He nodded. “I hope so. I don’t want to see either of you hurt.”

She smiled. “You’ll come back to see me?”

“You only have to call.”

“Oh I will.”

He kissed her on the forehead. “Goodbye, sweetheart.”

“Bye.”

He disappeared. Cerberus looked at the spot for a minute, then went back to lie down by Persephone’s feet. She curled up on the bed, dangling her arm off so it rested on his back. She’d had very different plans for the evening, but they weren’t going to happen now.

* * * *

Alala knew Aphrodite was home. She could feel her. She stood on her doorstep and knocked, even though she felt nothing keeping her out of the house. She thought they’d get off to a better start if she didn’t invade Aphrodite’s home.

Aphrodite opened the door sheepishly and said, “Come in.”

Alala wanted to give the other goddess a good smack, but not because she was angry. Being sheepish and quiet and reclusive was not like Aphrodite, so much so that it felt downright wrong to Alala.

Aphrodite led her into the living room. “Have a seat. I’m sure you want to talk about Persephone.”

Alala sat on the loveseat by the window. “Yes. Among other things.”

Aphrodite sighed and clasped her hands together as she sat down. “No one can be made to fall in love with Hades. It’s nothing to do with love, actually. It’s because marrying him would bind that woman to the Underworld, forcing her to return there every night.”

“Why?”

“Zeus only knows.” She smiled. “Actually, even he doesn’t. I’ve asked. I was born with that knowledge. Hades is the only creature of the Underworld that moves completely of his own will.”

“Hypnos and Thanatos don’t?”

“They do, but Hades could change that if he wanted to. They feel the pull of it and can’t stay away too long. Neither of them have to leave the Underworld for people to die or dream. It’s just more convenient sometimes if they come above.”

Alala nodded, wondering if Aphrodite was thinking about what she had so recently done to Ares in her botched attempt to give him and Alala a ‘happily ever after.’ Her spell had backfired to such an extent Hera had summoned Hypnos to put Ares to sleep to keep the pain away.

“Hades is supposed to be a bad boy, but I think we both know a little about those types. What’s he really like?”

Aphrodite blushed, which was something Alala was sure she’d never seen the goddess do before. She took a deep breath and tried not to think about how many times the love goddess had fucked Ares. Alala knew Ares loved her, but sometimes she still resented how long he and Aphrodite had been lovers.

“He’s very nice. He’s quiet, and that bothers people because of who he is. He’s more honorable and honest than either of his brothers, but you may not believe that right now.”

“Did you and he ever…have anything going on?”

Aphrodite shook her head. “I tried, we flirted. Nothing ever came of it. He’s very focused. I was too silly for him. Besides that, he’s into exclusive relationships.”

“So he really wants Persephone? He isn’t just having fun?”

“He loves her very much. He’s never felt this way before. All his lovers have been brief, most of them mortal. No one has ever hurt him, but that is what he’s most afraid of. He doesn’t like to talk about it. He claims to like his solitary existence, but I can feel how lonely he is.”

Alala sighed. “I hope things are going well then.”

“You think they might be bumpy?”

She nodded. “Persephone can be hard to get along with at times, so I can’t imagine living with her. We camped out for a weekend, and by the second night she was driving me a little crazy. I simply don’t see them as a couple.”

“If it’s meant to be, she’ll love him. She doesn’t yet though. They’re only now starting on that path. The Fates aren’t always kind. His being in love with her is no guarantee they’ll ever be together.”

“She hasn’t contacted me, and I’m waiting, even though Zeus made it clear anyone can contact her. I’m worried.”

“For whom?”

Without hesitation, she said, “Both of them.”

Aphrodite nodded.

Alala took a deep breath and decided to get on with the real reason she’d come. “Can we please talk about us?”

Aphrodite nodded again. “Of course.”

Alala got up and went to sit beside Aphrodite. “I don’t hate you. Ares doesn’t hate you. You’ve been avoiding us, and I want you to stop it. We want the goddess of love to be a big part of our wedding.”

“Hera hates me.”

“Well, you nearly killed her favorite son.”

Aphrodite blushed even more than she had a few minutes ago.

“Is there something you want to tell me about you and Ares?” She hoped the answer would be no, since Aphrodite and Ares having a son together already complicated things, but Alala had to ask even if she found out something she didn’t want to know.

“No, it’s Hera. The only reason she doesn’t know is because he hasn’t told her.”

“Ares?”

“Hephaestus.”

Why would Aphrodite still be worried about him? He’d dumped her, if Alala remembered correctly. “What about him? You two have been done for a long time.”

“Not quite. He wants me back.”

“Why?”

Aphrodite leaned over and whispered, “I’m his wife.”

Alala suddenly understood Aphrodite’s anxiety. Hera only had two sons, and Aphrodite had managed to entangle both of them. Add to that a wedding Hera hadn’t been invited to, and Aphrodite was in lots of trouble.

“For how long?”

“Thousands of years.”

“
Thousands
? You’re kidding.” She paused, waiting for the denial, and when it didn’t come, she said, “Tell me you’re fucking kidding!”

“No. I’m not. It was a foolish thing to do.”

“What happened?”

“Short version?”

“Please.” Alala could not wrap her head around the idea of Aphrodite keeping such a big secret. It seemed miraculous to her. Hephaestus shunned them all most of the time, but how had Aphrodite managed it for centuries?

“We were having sex, and he chained me to the bed. When we were, well, finished, he asked me to marry him. I said no. He said I would stay chained there until I agreed. And he was right. He’d forged chains I couldn’t break.”

“So you agreed?”

“Yes. I thought I could go to Zeus, but he made me recite the vows and marry him before he took the chains off.” She ran her right hand over her left, and a ring appeared. “The ring was forged by him. I can’t remove it. I’m his until he sets me free.”

“A marriage like that can’t be binding.”

“For us it is. Only the vows are required.”

“But you never see each other. Does he really exercise that much power over you?”

“He can call me whenever he wants me, and I have to go to him.”

Alala felt a wave of panic wash over her. She remembered the many times she’d slaughtered men on the battlefield when she’d discovered them violating women and children. Her temper flared. How could such a thing be going on? Hera would be livid. “What? Aphrodite, are you saying he forces you to—”

She held up her hand and shook her head. “We haven’t had sex since that night. He just calls me to him. He makes me dinner or we talk. We go for walks. Depends on his mood.”

“Oh.” Alala let out the breath she’d been holding. “I’m glad to hear it. Why haven’t you gone to Zeus? Aphrodite, Hera won’t be angry because Hephaestus forced you to marry him. She doesn’t approve of things like that, even if he is her son. No matter what she thinks of you, she’ll see him as in the wrong.”

She gazed down at her ring, and then reinstated the glamour that kept it hidden from everyone. “I don’t know why I haven’t tried to tell anyone. I’ve cheated on him so many times. The first time he caught me with Ares, he locked me up for a week. Ares doesn’t know this; I made sure of that, so please don’t tell him. He would’ve tried to fight Hephaestus. Ares had no idea he was fucking someone else’s wife.” She looked out the window. “It’s not a marriage, not even close. He won’t give it up though.”

“If you aren’t together, what does he gain? He doesn’t have a wife at all.”

“He never saw it that way. We had many fights because I wanted to be free. We had one that was far worse than any others. Hermes was the man I wanted at the time, and my frustration at not having him probably made that particular fight with Hephaestus more severe. Hermes turned me away, and I wound up with Ares. That was the night, I’ve always believed, Eros was conceived.” She looked down at her hands. “I thought he would release me because I’d had another man’s child while we were married. He didn’t. He always knew Ares was the father, but it changed nothing. He wouldn’t set me free.” She looked back up at Alala timidly.

“You should have told Ares about this. I’m fine. Really. I know Ares is Eros’ father, and I believed it before you finally told everyone.” She touched Aphrodite’s hand. “He stayed with you so long because the sex was good and he does love you, just not that way. He would lay down his life for you in an instant. We’ll help you. You may never be close friends with Ares again, but you and I can be friends.”

Aphrodite met her gaze and a single tear fell. She took a deep breath. “Ares chose the right woman to love. You’re so forgiving. Far too good for him.”

Alala laughed. “I know.” She repositioned on the couch and released Aphrodite’s hand. “Look, I’m worried about Persephone, but if you need my help, I’ll try. You might not want Eros involved. I can understand that. So tell me if you need Ares to do something.”

She shrugged. “There’s nothing to do. If I don’t return to Hephaestus soon, he may go to his mother. She’ll really have it out for me if she learns I’ve hurt both her precious boys. Her disapproval of his actions will fade quickly if he decides to play up to her love for him. She loves him and Ares so much she’d do anything for them.”

“How do you know he’s hurt? He’s done nothing to stop you.”

She smiled sadly. “He’s never loved anyone but me. I think he’s finally decided to fight for me. When the pain is great enough, I can feel what unrequited love does to someone. I feel it from him some days. He’s going to keep trying.”

“You don’t love him?”

She shook her head.

“Is he really…you know…”

“Ugly?”

Alala felt silly, but she hadn’t been able to bring herself to say it. “Yeah.”

“He’s rugged and manly, but by no means is he ugly. A long white scar runs down the side of his face. It’s shaped exactly like a lightning bolt. Some say it’s just an old legend, but Zeus really cast him off Mount Olympus when he was born. That’s how he got the scar and why he walks with a limp. The fall shattered his left knee and the lightning bolt blinded him for three days. Zeus is not his father, and Hera took great pride in that because she was angry. Athena was born to Zeus without a mother. She came from his mind as the ideal goddess, wise and with a taste for warfare and seeing justice served. That’s why he favors her so much, even though they are no longer that close. Hera wanted to bear a child without Zeus after this. Also, Zeus had been fucking two nymphs a little too long for Hera’s liking, and she saw having a child without him as a way to express her resentment at his having so many children through all his affairs and at times favoring them over Ares.” She sighed. “Hera let all that resentment and anger come out when she presented Hephaestus to Zeus as her own triumphant prize. His scar takes getting used to, but the limp is hardly noticeable. He’s very handsome and has an amazing body. I just don’t love him.”

“He never tries to seduce you?”

She shook her head. “We had great sex, but he doesn’t want to just fuck me. He wants to love me. Wants me to love him.”

Alala looked down. “I’m sorry. Everyone thinks you have it so easy.”

Aphrodite smiled, but it looked forced. “I nearly botched things for you and Ares, and then Apollo started mooning over Daphne again. Now Hades.” She paused. “You knew all about Daphne, didn’t you?”

She shook her head. She’d lost her virginity with Apollo, and they’d been lovers for decades, but he’d never told her about Daphne. “It was before I was born. He never told me. Hypnos mentioned it, and Eris told me the story.”

“What did you think?”

“It helped me understand him. He never let me in that far, but her rejection of him explains so much. I mean, she’d rather be a tree than have anything to do with him? It’s awful. He can be so insensitive, but I think he’s done it to himself. He’s hardened his heart, and it’s poisoned his whole being. I understand the pain he kept trying to hide now. As much as it would upset Ares, I feel very sorry for Apollo.”

Aphrodite nodded. “He’s never loved anyone but her. Never. It’s been hundreds of years by mortal reckoning. I sometimes hope I’ll feel her calling out to me to break the spell.”

“Could you?”

“I could break the power of the arrow that made him seem repulsive to her. Any of us could reverse her father’s spell. Peneus turned her into a tree to protect her because he had no power to compete with Apollo’s when she cried out for him to help her. He’s only a minor water deity, after all. But she begged us not to change her back.”

Alala shivered. “The singing in that field. I used to think it was the wind or other nymphs. It gives me the creeps now that I know it’s her.”

“I know what you mean. That was my fault too. I made that stupid arrow because Apollo made fun of my son’s archery skills.” She shook her head. “It was a farce that turned into a tragedy.”

“I’m sorry, but you can’t blame yourself. I have to go home to meet Ares, but I hope you feel better. I seem to have opened old wounds though.”