Denial (15 page)

“I don’t think you have. I was about to leave when you found me in my car. I only stayed because you seemed so nice. And…”

“What?”

I close my eyes and spit it
out. “You are incredibly gorgeous. I wanted you. Right away.”

His breathing gets heavier as I run my hand across his stomach testing the unyielding ripples beneath my fingers. “The feeling was mutual.
Is
mutual.”

“Isaac, I’m not calling you a liar, but that’s just so hard for me to believe.”

He turns to face me, his arm sliding underneath my neck until his hand is in my hair again and my eyelids flutter from the sensation. I like this so much, it’s starting to feel like it was before it got serious. Talking, then teasing, back to talking again. He’ll touch me a certain way and my libido is right back where it left off. It feels so much more intimate than it should.

“
You honestly don’t have any idea of how beautiful you are,” he murmurs. I stroke his hair as his lips dot along on the square of my jaw. “You’re truly oblivious to how fucking hot your body is.” That lustful look in his eyes, the way his jaw is clenched. I know I shouldn’t, but I believe him.

“That’s not true.”

“It is. I promise.” My stomach quivers when his face gets that insecure little boy look and he stares down. I run my fingers along his jaw and he’s finally the one that’s shuddering. If Isaac is manipulating me, I’m falling for it hook, line, and sinker, and right now I couldn’t care less. “There was one more reason I agreed to do this,” he says.

I wait for him to finish, but he just looks more hesitant. “Tell me.”

“I saw a picture of you,” he whispers. “A few of them actually. You were so beautiful, not fake at all. I wanted you. But more than that, you just looked so kind. Sweet. Innocent.
So
fucking
cute
. I wanted to meet you.” My heart melts. I can’t let myself get sucked into this.

“Isaac…” I pull myself closer to him and scoot lower so that he has to look at me, but he closes his eyes. I kiss both of his eyelids.

“And you are. Even more than I expected. Nobody ever talks to me like this anymore. Ever.”

It pisses me
off more and more every time he says stuff like that. I’m feeling a lot more than I’m supposed to for someone I’ve known for a day. What the hell is his life like that he’s apparently so touched when all I’ve done is hang out with him? I figured I’d be meeting up with some arrogant rich kid used to getting his way all the time. A spoiled hedonist who never goes without. That isn’t Isaac at all.

I peck his forehead, his nose. I kiss his face all over, the way he did mine when I was scared or insecure. He leans into me and gasps as I touch his hair above the nape of his neck, hopefully soothing him like he soothes me.

“We’re not supposed to do this,” he protests, but his body is relaxed, his hand folded in mine.

Now my mouth is on his neck, working its way down. He doesn’t stop me.
I didn’t know my lips were this sensitive until I felt his flesh beneath them. His chest is broad and solid, his stomach impossibly defined with so many peaks and valleys to explore. I drag my nose across his skin and inhale him. There’s no word for the aroma. So sweet and so masculine at the same time. Like him. He tastes even better and my tongue can’t get enough.

His breathing is faster and ragged as I’m getting lower, my fingers grazing the waist of
his pants. I need to make him feel good. I don’t really know him, but it seems like I do and I want to give him something. All I have to offer is physical satisfaction. I want him to have his way with my body. To do what he wants to do. I’m just so curious. The pulse between my legs is more intense than it’s ever been in my life. My mouth is frantically moving on the belt of muscle across his hips, my fingers fumbling with his zipper when I feel his hand on my jaw, lifting my face.

“Don’t,” he rasps, but I can’t tell if he really means it.

“I want to.”

“I scared you.”

“You didn’t.”

“Yes, I did.”

“What scared me was not being able to see you.” I keep going, unbuttoning his pants. “Touch you.” I stroke him once through the fabric separating me from what I so desperately want.

“Stop it,” he snaps.

Ouch. What the hell has gotten into me? “Sorry.” I back away from him.

“I told you that I need to be more professional.” This is incredibly frustrating.

“I don’t want to do it that way. Not the first time.”

“Well, I don’t want you to fuck me just to get back at your shithead boyfriend.”

My head jerks up. “Is that what you think?”

“That
’s what you said.”

I
slide up so that we’re face to face. It’s the total opposite, but I’ll sound like a fool if I tell him and no one likes pity. “Do you want to know why I came here?”

“Yes. I do. I really fucking do.”

Of course there is always that other truth. “I wanted that feeling back. Letting go. I want to feel as young as I am. To get excited again. I wanted to fuck around with a hot guy who actually has a clue what he’s doing. Even if it meant that I have to play the good little housewife and get treated like shit to escape for a little while.”

“That’s not what I want.”

“I know. And now I’m even more excited.”

His face is so conflicted. Arousal doesn’t seem to be the problem, so maybe it can push him over the edge. There’s a touch of embarrassment as I pull the sheet away, but it’s nothing compared to how badly I need him. Isaac inhales sharply as I move closer. Lust that mirrors mine creeps across his face when I touch his stomach, slowly sliding my hand lower until my fingers are tracing the muscles on his hips that point to where I want to go.

“I’ll let you tie me up, if that’s what you want,” I peep, watching his resolve crumble as he slowly reaches out to me. The moan that comes from deep in my throat is louder than I expected as his hand slides across the skin of my back. “But then I won’t be able to touch you.” I trace my fingers along his abdomen.

“I don’t want to tie you up.”

I take this as an invitation and my fingers slip beneath the soft elastic band that I’ve been hesitant to breach, but I don’t touch him yet. He pulls me closer.

“I can’t wear the blindfold though. It scared me.” I start shaking a little just thinking about it.

“Okay,” he breathes, his hands moving up to my face and stroking my cheeks and hair tenderly. “I don’t want you to wear it anyway. I want to see you.”

His lips dance around my face again. I love it every time he does this, yet it’s so frustrating when I need it to further and it doesn’t. “Just kiss me already.”

“I can’t.”

“Yes, you can. Nobody’s watching us.
No one will know.”

He growls as his lips move closer and his hand travels down my spine until it’s gripping my ass.
“No.”

“Please, Isaac. This doesn’t feel natural. Please,” I beg. He lets out a pained groan. “The only reason that you haven’t is because someone told you not to.” Another growl. Angry this time.

“Oh, you think that you are so fucking clever. You are, but that’s not it.”

“Don’t you want to?”
Please. Put your mouth on mine.

“You know that I do,” he snarls.

“So what’s stopping you?”

I gasp in surprise as he pulls me away from him by my hair. His eyes are feral. “I will fuck you the way you want it.”

“I want you to fuck me the way you want it.” I can’t believe I just said that. Or how true it is. His grip gets tighter as his jaw tenses, his eyes rolling back.

“I will.” His voice is a promise that I hope he keeps. “But I will not kiss you so you can feel like you’re getting back at him.”

Seriously! Get the hell out of here, Luke. “You are the only one thinking about him right now. He’s a million miles away for me. In some other life that I can’t bear to think about. It’s like he doesn’t even exist.” The beast in Isaac’s eyes fades away and I get a glimpse of that little boy. “Isaac.” His eyes flutter as I run my fingers along his jaw. “I wouldn’t lie to you. I promise.”

He barely hesitates.

1
3

His arms crush me into his body as his mouth finally clamps onto mine, swallowing my satisfied groan. For a second it’s all so fevered and desperate, then everything becomes still and the only thing I can hear is my heart drumming in my ears. Our linked hands stop where they are as our lips meld together. Light fills my vision. His tongue slides into me slowly,
meeting my own. They dance together until I can’t figure out which one is mine and which is his. He’s breathing out as I’m breathing in, creating a cycle that feels like it has always been there. I don’t know where he stops and I begin.

Isaac pulls away
and my moan is a screech from the desertion. His eyes are as surprised as mine probably are. What the hell was that? My parted lips curl into a grin that mirrors his and then our mouths are back together like they were never apart. He keeps pulling away to look at me as if he’s surprised I’m still here. I’m carefree, making out with this hot guy I met at some crazy party. He’s cute and nice and funny and I really like him. I hope he likes me. Our hands stay locked together. There are pecks and deep kisses. Moans and giggles. I thought this was a myth. I didn’t think it could be like this.

Then his kisses get more intense. I clutch onto his shoulders as he rolls his body on top of mine, his erection digging into my thigh as his hand finds its place in my hair.
Get these fucking pants off
. My heart sputters when he breaks away and his face isn’t so lighthearted. Those feral eyes are back. I’ve never felt so desired before. Without even thinking, my hands are pulling at his waistband, desperate to free him. I need to feel him inside of me. He lets out a throaty laugh, revealing just a hint of that cockiness that should be aggravating but only makes me want him more.

I’ve never seen a guy get his pants off faster, and.... wow. It didn’t feel
that
big when it was digging into my flesh. I barely had a chance to miss him before he’s back on top of me, but between my legs this time, his cock pressed into my slit as he kisses my face everywhere but my lips. I squirm beneath him wildly, trying to trap him, desperate to catch his mouth with mine, but he won’t give in. He holds me tighter, one of his hands stroking my nape, his other arm circling around my back until his fingers are grazing my waist. Our eyes meet and his expression so unexpectedly nervous I stop wiggling.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” he whispers. I bite my lip and nod excitedly, but the affirmation doesn’t rid his eyes of that lost look.

“Are you okay? We don’t have to if you don—” I’m silenced by a kiss as he grinds against my clit.

“I do.”

His lips are parting mine, our tongues colliding as he slowly pushes inside of me.
Finally
. We moan loudly into each other’s mouths as we join. I’m expecting him to start thrusting but instead he grips the back of my head, ensuring our lips stay locked together and I’m in that still place again, only this time we are holding each other so tightly it almost hurts. He’s motionless inside of me and I revel in the fullness. Our breathing syncs up in that delightful cycle but the rhythm is rapid this time.

He pulls away and has that astonished look on his face for a moment before his mouth attacks mine and his body starts moving. It gets faster and deeper until it’s a whirlwind of sensation that I’ve never experienced. I know this is just sex, just carnal satisfaction, but it doesn’t seem that way at all. I feel so connected to him and I’m just going to let myself slip farther into the delusion that there is something more here.

His fingers toy with mine as he hides his face in my shoulder, letting out a painful moan when I kiss his neck. The top half of his body doesn’t match up with what’s happening below our waists, the unrelenting thrusts a stark contrast to his tender grasp, his desperate kiss. The feral eyes are gone, there’s no mask, just that cute boy, the shy one with the lost eyes and timid smile that keeps crashing into mine.

I want all of him, every single piece of him inside of me. My legs are begging to get further apart to let more of him in but they won’t stop squeezing his waist. My arms are just as desperate to claim him, clinging to his shoulders like they never intend to let go. The only part of my body touching the bed is my ass because he has me pulled so close to his chest. No one has ever held me so tightly and if I could freeze time so that I never get torn away from this moment I would.

But I’m coming apart around him, screeching and squirming, as this fire that’s been burning so hot rips through my body. A spark must have jumped into him because now he is writhing with me. Our lips struggle to stay together but keep getting torn apart by the most beautiful sounds two people have ever made as they find each other in oblivion.

It seems like an eternity but it only lasts for a few fevered moments and I’m left reeling as he peels off of me. My entire body still feels him but his absence is particularly painful for my mouth and between my legs. I attempt to get a grip on reality and shake off this feeling of abandonment, but it stings so badly, worse than it ever has. What the hell is my problem?