Deja Vu (19 page)

I waited seventeen nerve-wracking days for the answer. I got it exactly on my thirty-second birthday, sixteen years after my second accident, my birthday present.

Galia wasn’t David’s biological daughter. She was Nofar’s sister.

Yesterday was my forty-eighth birthday.

I'm forty-eight years old now, but in my mind, I’m sixty-four. I woke up at the age of sixteen, but I was actually thirty-two.

On my thirty-second birthday, when I discovered that Galia was Amir’s daughter, I waited in terror for the end of the day. I was afraid that once again, I’d be involved in an accident and wake up sixteen again. I didn’t want to get stuck in an endless cycle… I've had enough lifetimes. Thankfully, a day later, I lived to be thirty-two and a day, just as, today, I'm forty-eight and a day old.

I was afraid to go back in time again. My new life wasn’t perfect, but the fact that I relived the sixteen years after my first car accident taught me that there’s no such thing as a perfect life.

My pregnancy with Galia prepared me for my life after I turned thirty-two. After sixteen years in which I had almost no surprises in my life, from the age of thirty-two, every moment of my life was new and unknown. It took me some time to get used to a reality in which I didn’t have an advantage over the rest of mankind, a reality in which my secret super power had expired. It was a reality that brought me tremendous relief because I didn’t need to pretend anymore.

Once I got used to my new reality, I learned to enjoy life more than I ever had before in my old and new thirty-two years put together. I learned that there was no point in trying to always be in control. I realized that, no matter how much I planned, each person had his own destiny. I still believe that every person is the master of his fate, but I know that some things can’t be stopped. I couldn’t stop Galia from coming into this world.

Inbal and Asi had twins. Asi's business almost went bankrupt, but Inbal stood beside him with love and dedication. Their love triumphed over their difficulties, and Asi has begun to make a success of himself again, even more so than before. I’m happy for Inbal, and realize that, by choosing David in my new life, I led her into Asi’s arms, and I often have the feeling that this alone was a good enough reason for everything I went through.

Daria and Amir got divorced. Daria’s baby, born a month after my thirty-second birthday, wasn’t Amir’s, and he found out about it. I often wondered who the father was. I didn’t ask and she didn’t tell. However, I couldn’t ignore the fact that Aya, Lior's wife, hadn’t gotten pregnant for a third time in our present lives. 

David and I have stayed together. We have our ups and downs, some of them still have to do with my stressful job, which I refuse to give up despite the fact that he disapproves, but I know David is my soul mate, my destiny. I’ve never told him - and am not planning on telling him - that Galia is not his daughter. If there was one more conclusion that my special life has taught me, it’s that being a biological parent means nothing. Parenthood doesn’t come from birth. It’s created from years of love, nurture and education given to the child. David loves Galia dearly, and she loves him. She is his daughter just as she is mine.

Dear Reader,

If you are reading these lines, you have probably finished reading the book and I hope your reading experience was pleasant.

If you enjoyed the read, I would be very grateful if you would take another minute of your time and leave a
positive review on the book's Amazon page
.

I would like to take the last lines of the book to tell you a little about myself. I was born in 1974 in Israel, into a religious Jewish family. After my military service (in Israel, every high school graduate must enlist for military or civilian service), I met my husband and I started studying economics and accounting. I studied at one of the most prestigious faculties in Israel and I was very prominent student. In 1999, I finished my studies and accounting firms fought for the right to hire me. My future as a senior accountant was spread before me and all the people around me expected me to reach one of the top positions in the Israeli economy. In 2000, I started my internship with one of the largest accounting firms in the world and I was sure that I was on the right track.

Toward the end of that year, when I was twenty-six, I tried to become pregnant for the first time and, unfortunately, suffered a miscarriage. This was the starting point of the most six difficult years of my life. For six years, my life revolved around my attempts to conceive. At one point, it became clear to me that I wouldn't fulfill my career ambitions in the financial field. My desire to become a mother was stronger than my need to be a career woman. The difficulties and the suffering I went through made me reconsider my life, which had been so clear and promising only a few years earlier. I realized that I had no interest in a financial career and I started to look for a purpose in my life. I must note that I still work today as an accountant - but my role does not approach the aspirations that I and others had of me when I started out. I'm using the qualifications I acquired in order to earn a living.

In 2006, my only son was born, and after his birth I discovered the joy of writing. At first, I invested my energy in writing a blog, but after I went through another crisis, when I realized that I couldn't conceive again, I decided to focus on my creativity rather than sink into depression and self-pity. Writing saved me from the depths of depression and gave a new meaning to my life. I like to let my imagination go free and to convey social messages which are important to me

My first book,
Confessions of an Abandoned Wife
, was published in Israel in 2011. The Israeli market is very small and I was advised to translate the book and upload it to Amazon.com in order to reach a wider audience of readers. At first I refused… I couldn't believe that a non-Israeli reader would be interested in a book whose story is intertwined with Israeli daily life. To my great joy, I was persuaded in 2014 to translate my second book,
Hill of Secrets
, and I uploaded it to Amazon.com. The comments I received just warmed my heart and made it clear that readers really are interested in reading about cultures other than their own. This interest in Israeli culture encouraged me to write a blog in which I describe and explain the uniqueness of Israeli life (daily life here doesn't reach the average viewer of CNN news).

I invite you to log on to
my blog
and read about Israel and other topics that interest me.

I would also be very grateful if you’d
sign up to my mailing list
. My subscribers receive updates when I post new posts in my blog as well as updates on new books and special deals on my books.

In conclusion, I want to mention once again how important
positive reviews on the Amazon site
are to me. Even more important than the enjoyment any creator receives from the positive reinforcement for his work, positive reviews for my books allow me to reach more readers – and without new readers I can't exist as a writer.

Thank you for reading me. This is the greatest compliment a writer can hope for.

Yours,

Michal

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Michal Hartstein
was born in 1974 in Israel into a religious family, studied economics and accounting at the University of Tel Aviv and started a career in finance.

In 2006, after becoming a mother, she decided to change direction and began to write. For several years she has written a popular personal blog, and in 2011 published her first book,
Confession of an Abandoned Wife
.
After two years she published her second book,
Hill of Secrets
. In 2014 she participated in the Israeli Nanowrimo contest and wrote
Déjà vu
. The book was one of the winners and was published in Israel in 2015.

Hartstein’s books vividly describe the life of the Israeli middle class, focusing on middle class women.