Defender (Battle Born Book 4) (6 page)

They sat side by side. He angled his body toward hers, while she folded her hands in her lap, feeling intrusive and out of place. “You have a meeting in a few hours,” she said. “You should be sleeping.”

“I’ll sleep as soon as you do, so get this over with.” His hair was dark brown, the wavy strands longer on top. His features were naturally rugged and the scar running from his forehead to one corner of his mouth gave him a menacing air. It had taken her a while to realize the accident or attack resulting in the scar must have cost him his right eye. The color, shape, even the movements of the prosthetic eye perfectly matched his natural eye. Still, his left eye was much more expressive.

She drew her legs up under her nightgown and folded her arms on top of her knees. “What do you want me to do?”

His lips twitched and his gaze warmed as if he were fighting back a smile, a wicked, sensual smile. But by the time he spoke the heat was gone and he was all grim seriousness again. “Whatever it takes to ease your mind enough so you can sleep.”

“I don’t know what that is.” She dragged her gaze away from his face and rested her chin on her forearms.

“You saw more than the vision during your trance.” It wasn’t a question, so it allowed no room for denial. “Tell me what you saw.”

Her breath shuddered out and she shook her head. The last thing she wanted to talk about was what she’d endured on that ship. “I can’t.”

“All right. Tell me how it made you feel.”

“Angry.” It was the easiest answer, the only one that wasn’t pathetic.

“You’re angry now, but that’s not where it started.”

She shot him a sidelong glare. “What would you know about it?”

His answer was unexpected and immediate. “I was barely fifteen when I was turned out of training and assigned to my first post. I was tall and lean, my face not yet ruined, and I caught the eye of the quarter master.”

“Did he…” Her gaze locked with his and her heartbeat paused as she waited for him to continue. Did he know? Had he lived through the same sort of nightmare Akim had forced on her?

“I fought him off twice, but the third time he brought help.” His voice turned harsh and distant as he ventured deeper into the past. “He beat the shit out of me first, told me there was no escape except death. His friends held me down while he touched me, humiliated me. Then they positioned me so he could take what he wanted. I screamed and fought, but I was helpless, utterly helpless.”

Tears blurred her vision and she had to look away. His pain was too familiar and hers was still too raw. “I’m sorry.” She whispered the all too familiar phrase then closed her eyes. “Was he punished for hurting you?”

“He paid with his life.”

Something in his voice made her open her eyes. “Why? When? Those who prey on the weak and helpless often get away with it.”

He was silent for a long time. After all he’d confessed, why would he be reluctant to explain? Then a possibility appeared within her mind, a bittersweet flicker of hope. “Did someone save you just in time?” Her throat was so tight the words barely made it out.

Finally he nodded. “Garin was my team leader. He found me just in time and slit the bastard’s throat.”

Tears spilled down her cheeks and her lips began to tremble.

“Oh, angel.” He pulled her onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her. “Don’t cry.”

No one came for her. No one rescued her from the nightmare. She sobbed, her fingers clutching his shirt. Raylon understood and yet he didn’t. He’d glimpsed her misery, while he’d been spared the degradation, the hopelessness.

He rocked her, whispering words of comfort as he stroked her hair. She released her pent-up emotions while her tears wet his chest. She wasn’t sure how long she cried. It might have been minutes or hours. All she knew was she felt empty and
sleepy
by the time she was done.

He gently touched her cheek, sliding his fingers down to her chin. “Look at me.”

She shook her head.

“All right, then listen. It wasn’t your fault.”

She’d spent endless hours trying to convince herself of that concept. But doubt remained. She had to have done something, or failed to do something, that brought out their darker impulses. If she’d been less argumentative or more accommodating, maybe they wouldn’t have been so cruel.

Raylon bent, his breath teasing her ear. “You did nothing wrong.”

She shifted in his arms, pressing herself into his chest as she buried her face in the bend of his neck. “I’m glad Garin saved you.” And she meant it. No one should have to suffer through the things she’d endured.

“And I wish to all the gods we’d been able to save you sooner.” He slipped his free arm under her knees and held her firmly as he stood.

Raising her face from the warmth of his neck, she looked around. He was headed toward the main door to his suite. “Please. I can’t go back there.”

He tensed then took a deep breath and nodded. “All right.” He turned and started to set her back on the sofa.

She tightened her arms around his neck. “If we lie down together, I think I can sleep.” When he still didn’t move, she added, “I promise I won’t take advantage of you.”

His chuckle was warm and unexpected. “I’m not sure I can make the same promise.”

Their gazes locked and awareness crackled around them, tingly and electric. She moved her hand to the nape of his neck and sifted his hair through her fingers. “You won’t hurt me. I know you won’t.”

He closed his eyes and made a sound of frustration. “You’re too damn trusting.”

Despite the warning, he carried her into his bedroom and placed her on his bed. Each move was deliberate, careful. She crossed her arms over her chest and realized the throw had fallen off somewhere between the couch and his bed. He hadn’t activated the lights, so details were lost in shadow, but she could see enough to fuel her imagination.

He shrugged off his shirt but left the pants then crawled onto the bed and motioned her toward him. Face him or away? Which would be less provocative? Or which would be more? She wasn’t sure if she was trying to put him at ease or snap his stubborn control. Opting to face him, she lay on her side and rested her head on his shoulder as he loosely encircled her shoulders. One of her arms folded between them, providing a small measure of separation. He pulled the covers up to their shoulders then closed his eyes.

She listened to his steady breathing and watched the rise and fall of his chest. This was where she wanted to be, but not what she wanted to be doing. He was too honorable to make the first move and she wasn’t yet confident enough to make her desires clear. So she closed her eyes, filled her nose with his scent, and willed herself to sleep.

* * * * *

“Did you get any sleep last night?” Garin asked. “You look like shit.”

Raylon shook his head as he glanced at the control panel. The Phantom shuttles were even more automated than their predecessors, so there wasn’t much to do but monitor the computer. “Fallout from Chandar’s vision.” He glanced at his friend then rubbed the back of his neck. He’d updated Garin last night after round one with Chandar. But worry and frustration kept him awake and restless, so he’d activated the security feed and found Chandar wide awake and equally restless, which resulted in round two. “It was a really long night.”

Speculation narrowed Garin’s eyes, but he didn’t ask the questions clearly written on his face. “Kotto confirmed what she told you. Vinton Tandori is dead.”

“Does Tandori Tribe know how he died or are they blaming the explosion?”

Garin shrugged. “Don’t know. We haven’t spoken to anyone from Tandori Tribe. Kotto combined newscasts with public records to confirm that there was an explosion and who owned the property. That’s as far as he’d gotten before I had to leave.”

“If the shifter was Vinton’s daughter, it’s likely they know.”

Garin’s penetrating gaze landed on Raylon again. He was clearly skimming the surface of his curiosity, which wasn’t like Garin. They never played games with each other and Garin was seldom subtle. “The other aspects of Chandar’s vision were accurate. Is there reason to doubt that detail?”

“No. I just prefer cold, hard facts to mystic revelations.” Raylon tried to minimize his interest in the exasperating harbinger with a casual tone.

“Is something going on between you and Chandar?” That was more like it. Garin was too busy most of the time to bother being polite.

Raylon leaned his head against the seat back and groaned. “She’s driving me crazy.”

“In what way?” Already amusement rippled through Garin’s tone, though his expression remained composed.

Raylon had never been one to kiss and tell, but last night was different. He needed to figure out what Chandar really wanted before he could give it to her. “I understood what she needed in the beginning. She was terrified and I made her feel safe. I have no idea why, but I wasn’t about to fight it. Now she’s been working with Indigo and it’s made her seem less…childlike.”

Garin’s brow creased and his lips pressed together as he considered the possibilities. “Are you attracted to her?”

“Gods yes. But she’s so fragile, so helpless. If I even kissed her, really kissed her, she’d be terrified.”

“Really kissed her? Why did you make that stipulation?”

As usual Garin absorbed every subtlety without even trying. He just seemed to see things everyone else missed. It was one of the things that made him such a good leader. It was also inconvenient as hells rings when Raylon was trying to keep things generalized. “The trance wouldn’t release when the vision finished. It’s happened before, but last night was really bad. Nothing worked, so Danvier told me to kiss her.”

“Her brother told you to kiss her? That’s not like Danvier at all. He’s been ridiculously overprotective since her rescue.”

Raylon hadn’t meant to review the entire situation move by move. It wasn’t really Garin’s business. There had been a small audience when Raylon kissed her so it wasn’t a secret. Still, he avoided the more intimate details.

“Nothing else worked,” Raylon evaded. She’d caressed his chest like they were lovers and brushed her tongue over his skin. The memory set his heart racing all over again.

“Did the kiss work?”

“Yeah. I don’t know if she was shocked or—whatever. It brought her out of the trance.”

“Did you do more than kiss her?”

Raylon glared at Garin. Even his eyes reflected his amusement now. “Danvier was standing right there.”

“Why do I get the impression that’s not where it ended?”

“Because you’re too damn perceptive for your own good,” Raylon grumbled. Part of him wanted to tell Garin everything in minute detail. Maybe an objective bystander would be able to see things more clearly. But, even as close as the years had made them, Raylon wasn’t one to talk about his problems. Sharing made him feel vulnerable and needy. An emotional warrior was as good as dead.

After a tense silence, Garin said, “I can keep pestering you with questions or you can just tell me what’s bothering you.”

“She was still really upset after everyone went to bed, so I put her in bed with me.” The confession spilled out before Raylon could stop it.

Garin’s brows arched and he gave in to the smile he’d been fighting. “You ‘put her in bed’ with you?”

“It was her idea, not mine.”

After an abrupt laugh, Garin asked, “You couldn’t just tell her no? Sleep in a chair by her bedside or guard her from the couch?”

“She wanted to be held, not claimed.”

“Are you sure?”

Raylon threw up his hands in exasperation. “No. That’s the problem. I’m not sure. I don’t know what in hells rings she wants or how to give it to her.”

Garin laughed again, a low rumbling sound this time. “You’ve never had that problem before. It’s been much too long for both of us, but you’ve had many satisfied lovers in years past.”

“Chandar can’t possibly want sex after what they did to her.” Raylon wouldn’t even allow himself to consider the possibility.

“As I understand it, she doesn’t remember much of what happened to her. She’s a healthy female in the prime of life. Why shouldn’t she want to share pleasure with you?” Garin paused and looked at Raylon, gaze intense and knowing. “Or is it more than sex? Are you feeling the mating pull?”

“I don’t know.” He looked away, afraid Garin would see the truth. Raylon knew he and Chandar were genetically compatible. He’d sensed it the first time he touched her. But her recovery was bound to be long and complicated. At some point she’d probably want to start over, relocate and leave the past behind. Which meant she’d leave him behind.

“You’re full of shit and we both know it. Chandar clearly has you tied up in knots.”

Raylon shook his head. “I am not what she needs.”

“Shouldn’t that be her decision?”

Thank the stars, Garin finally let the subject drop. Unfortunately, Raylon’s mind wasn’t so easily dissuaded. Chandar’s image lingered, taunting him, teasing him. He could still feel her warm body snuggled against his side and feel her breath wafting over his chest. He wanted to taste her mouth and feel her arch beneath him as he drove his aching cock deep into her core.
Gods
. He hadn’t been this obsessed with a female since puberty. He felt like a hormone-riddled lad, unable to keep his hands out of his pants.

He pushed the images to the back of his mind through sheer force of will. Allowing himself to be this distracted was dangerous. This was basically a diplomatic mission. Still, he knew better than to underestimate humans.

They arrived at the Bunker, a Top Secret facility in the Arizona desert half an hour later. Raylon signaled their arrival and a large section of the parking lot parted, allowing them to put down in the underground hanger. Except for a couple of maintenance buildings, the entire complex was underground.

“Covert shields are more convenient, but that’s pretty slick.” Garin leaned forward so he could watch the parking lot close over their heads.

“I thought you’d been here before.” Raylon powered down the engines and activated the security grid. They were here to form an alliance, but the humans were a long way from earning Raylon’s trust.