Deceitful Choices (3 page)

Chapter 4

Lindsay

A trip that was meant to be one I would always remember turned out to be one I just wanted to forget. And it was all my fault.

I have been told multiple times that I grew up too fast. A seventeen-year-old girl who lived the life most do at twenty-five, minus the fact I was still in high school.

I’ve held a job since I was legally able to work. I paid bills and bought groceries. On the days when my friends were off at football games and dances, I was cleaning our trailer and making dinner. I wasn’t able to live the life of a teenager. So the moment I got the chance to live a little reckless, I took it without hesitation, and now I regretted the lies I told. I was careless and I didn’t think of the consequences, not only for me, but for Zack too.

Being friends with him would have been better than the enemy category I landed myself in.

The ride home was filled with Haven throwing Rigdon’s name around over and over. She went on and on about how they exchanged information and planned to stay in touch. I knew she was doing this to get to me; the problem was—it was working.

I spent the entire trip curled toward the window, watching everything pass me by. Wishing I could go back to when I first met Zack and tell him the truth. It may not have turned out the way it did, but I was okay with that because right now I felt like I was the worst of me.

I was a liar, just like my parents.

I had become the exact type of person I had told myself I would never be.

***

“Where the hell have you been?” my father yelled as he stormed into my room, without taking into account I could have been indecent. I had long ago learned to only change in the bathroom where the door locked.

The force of the door bursting open caused it to smack hard against the wall behind it. A small hole was still present from the last time he had done the same thing. I had an amazing ability to get beneath my father’s skin and drive him to an uncontrollable state of anger. To be truthful, it didn’t take much for my father to grow angry.

Over the last six weeks, since my week in Gulf Shores, I had been making a habit of running off, which is exactly what led to the current situation.

“You take off for almost three days, with no contact, leaving only a goddamn note.” He paused, fisting his hands at his sides. “Just last month you took off for over a week. Do you think leaving a piece of paper for us is explanation enough? When the hell are you gonna grow up and face life? You have responsibilities to this family. You owe us.”

“I told mom I was going with Taylor and her family. She said it was okay.” I lied slightly; I had mentioned it to her once. I was sure she ignored the entire conversation while she was filing her nails and watching her soaps, but I still mentioned it.

“Bullshit. She had no idea where you were,” he growled. “Taylor and her rich family think they run this house. Does her tight-ass father wanna pay my bills, fill my fridge?” He stepped closer to my bed and I curled into myself, sliding back toward my headboard.

My father had an anger problem, one that didn’t take much to enhance. Life at the Lauss home was lived daily by one rule, and one rule only. Never give my dad a reason to be angry, no matter what the cost. It was apparently a rule I broke often. But you try living daily with Charlotte and Nolan Lauss, and then you can lecture me about rules.

“You want to run around with that girl, acting like a tramp, then they can support your ass. I’ve had enough of this bullshit from you. Get your shit together, and get out.” He glared at me.

My father was a hot head. He had never hit me or my mother but he’d come close a time or two. His words were his weapon. Neither one of them actually showed an interest in my life until I screwed up. Then they were on me like bees to honey.

“Do you need help?” he asked.

I jumped at the sharp tone as his voice echoed throughout my small room.

He turned toward my closet and began grabbing handfuls of clothes, carrying them toward the bed. Throwing them at me in a tantrum, a hanger caught my cheek, but he didn’t even pause to see if I was okay. A burning sensation brought tears to my ears, yet I never took them off the devil before me.

I was frozen with fear as he continued to toss my things around. A movement in the doorway caught my attention, and I turned to find my mother standing there staring at us, as if what was happening before her truly meant nothing. Normally a mother would attempt to diffuse the situation—but not mine.

My mother had been given so many chances to get the both of us out of this life, yet she never did. Instead she stood quietly, with a desolate look on her face. She offered no help, no words. It was as if she truly didn’t care if we killed one another, as long as we hurried the shit up so she could go back to her pitiful excuse of a life.

A deep infuriated tone filled the room, “You got fifteen minutes to get the hell out of my house. Take only what you can carry because I ain’t helping with shit. Get Taylor and her parents to come rescue you, since they’re so damn important.”

I had heard on more than one occasion that my father couldn’t wait for me to get the hell out of his place so he could have peace again. I guess that time had come.

He walked out, his shoulder colliding with my mother’s on the way.

I waited for her to fix this, I needed her to make this okay. For once in my life, I needed her to be on my side.

“Don’t look at me; I’ve told you not to make him mad. Now you’ve gone and done it.” She arched an eyebrow, waiting for me to argue. When I just stared at her blankly she turned on her heel and went after my father.

I don’t know how long I sat there but it felt like hours. Time ticking by second by second, silence filling the air.

Most of my life I was pushed aside and forced to entertain myself. As long as I was quiet and stayed out of the way, they didn’t seem to give two shits about what I was doing.

Taylor’s parents were nice to me, made me feel welcomed and accepted. I tried to spend as much time with them as was allowed, because with them I actually felt as if I mattered. They trusted Taylor and gave her the freedom to come and go, and in turn I was allowed that same privilege whenever I was around. I loved the life they led.

I eventually got up from my bed and grabbed a duffle bag, stuffing in all the clothes I could fit. I filled my backpack and another small bag with anything I wasn’t willing to leave behind.

Creeping down the hall I heard a soft whisper coming from my parents’ room, followed by a giggle. The thought disgusted me. They had just tossed me out on the streets and forgotten all about it, as they moved on to the celebration of their new found freedom.

I tried to find the good in my current situation. After all, I would no longer have to hear them yell at me for being in their space, or yell at me for being gone too long. It was a big win. But that thought quickly faded and I remembered there was still one thing that sat heavy on my heart.

Reaching into the front pocket of my sweatshirt I fisted my hand around the hard plastic. A panicked feeling settled deep in my stomach as I stepped out onto the front porch, closing the door behind me.

Hanging my head I pulled the item from my pocket and stared at the plus sign displayed on the pregnancy test I held. It had been hours since I took it in the bathroom of Martin’s convenience store where I bought it. I felt both excitement and fear as I thought of the little person growing inside me. A piece of me and a piece of the man who, for a short time, had given me a glimpse of what life could be if I wasn’t Lindsay Lauss.

But my lies had cost me so much.

I was only seventeen, a minor, and now I was pregnant with the child of a man I had no idea how to reach.

Tears fell down my cheeks as I walked along the road, carrying all my bags. My cellphone battery showed only eleven percent remaining and instead of taking the time to call someone I just continued to walk. I had no idea where I was going or what I would do when I got there. I just knew I needed this time alone.

Chapter 5

Zack

I walked into our small living space to find Rigdon sprawled out on the floor, with his feet propped up on my bed. He held his phone to his ear, with a smile on his face.

How the fuck this asshole could still have enough energy to form full sentences and focus on whatever it was the person on the other end of that line had to say was beyond me.

Today was a hard one; the officers in Coronado Beach were ruthless and put the shits to us daily. There was no down time, not when you wanted to succeed as a SEAL. We were on top of our game at all times. The workout and training pushed us to our limits and then pushed our asses some more.

I fucking ached after today, and my lungs still burned after our run.

“When you gonna come see me?” I heard him ask, and I pushed his leg out of the way so I could lie down.

He had been trying to get Haven to break since the day we left the beach in Gulf Shores. Each time she shot him down and after the call ended, he gave me shit about her wanting to get with me and using him as a way in. I wasn’t gonna argue that fact, because I had a strong feeling it was exactly what she was hoping for.

“Maybe you can come visit and bring a friend.” I lifted my arm that had been resting over my eyes and gave him a “what the fuck” look. “Yeah, then you and Zack can hook up while I entertain your girl.”

I lunged for him and he sat up quickly moving back out of my reach.

“Set something up,” he added.

By this time I was crawling from the bed and moving in his direction. “Okay I’ll call ya later.”

He hit end before I could get to him and held his hands up in surrender.

“What the hell, man?” I asked as I shoved his chest.

He fell back chuckling as he shielded himself with his arms.

“I’m trying to help you out,” he replied. “You’ve been fucking moping around since we left Alabama and you need to lighten up. Hell dude, you used to be fun, before that girl scared the fuck out of you.”

“She didn’t scare me,” I assured him as I flopped back down on the bed. “The idea of going to jail because some teenage girl convinced me she was legal was what scared me.”

“Well Haven is completely legal; you know this because you saw her license. She is into you and has been since that trip.” He lifted himself from the floor and sat down on his own bed. “She talks about your scrawny ass the entire time we’re on the phone, every time we’re on the phone.”

My scrawny ass. I found that funny considering I had a good twenty pounds of muscle on Rigdon. I had always been thick and built. My father was in the Navy, and my older brother, too. I was built for this. My father trained me even before I was out of high school, right alongside my brother. The Navy had been my lifelong dream, and I was living it. It was all I knew.

“Don’t need no girl screwing shit up for me,” I told him as I lay back against the mattress once more.

“Never said anything about marrying the girl; I’m just talking about some really hot sex.” I looked over in time to catch him wagging his eyebrows. “Seriously Zack, hit that for me, because I have no shot with Haven. She wants you. Plus,” he paused as a wide smile stretched out over his face, “she’s willing to fly all this way to see you, and then go back home. That is the best kind of woman.”

The asshole was cold, and he knew it. All he thought about was getting laid. I guess he had his reasons and protecting his heart was a top priority after the loss of Melissa.

“Haven is too close to the situation with Lindsay. I just want to leave that whole fucking nightmare behind.” Lindsay wasn’t a nightmare; it was the fact that even though I knew she was only seventeen, I couldn’t get her out of my head. The sweet sounds she made while I fucked her. The way her body hugged me just right and the way she bit her lower lip just before she came. That shit was floating around in my mind at the worst possible times.

Having Haven around would only add to the familiarity.

“She’s already moved on to her next conquest.” I turned toward the sound of Rigdon’s words.

“What?” I asked.

“Haven said she’s with some guy. Apparently she hooked up with him within a week after she returned home.” A sympathetic look crossed Rigdon’s face. “That girl is trouble Zack. She lied, and from the sound of it, she gets around.”

I lay there staring up at the ceiling, focusing on a small smudge just above my bed.

The idea of Lindsay hopping into bed with another guy so soon made the memories I had of our night together sour instantly.

“Set something up with Haven,” I told him. “But make it after Hell Week. We’ll both need some down time after that.”

Did I want to get wrapped up with Haven? No, not really. But something in me liked the idea of fucking the one girl I knew Lindsay despised.

And I had to get that sweet sound of Lindsay pleasure out of my head. So why not replace it with a new sound?

Haven.