Deceitful Choices (10 page)

She grabbed a towel and began wiping her hands clean. It appeared she, too, needed something to occupy her hands. “Ed was four-and-a-half years older than me, which made our relationship impossible. Sound familiar?”

“Only you didn’t lie,” I said, feeling ashamed once again.

“No, sweetheart, I didn’t, but you can’t change that. I know that due to certain circumstances and a specific spoiled rich bitch…” I smiled when she referred to Haven in an ill manner. “The two of you were unable to reach one another, and in turn you were unable to notify Zack of Camden. That was unfair, but I don’t for a second blame you for the time he lost with Camden. I know I came across that way yesterday, but it was never my intention.”

I nodded because I suddenly had no idea how to respond.

“Nothing would make me happier than to see you and Zack together, because Camden deserves a life like that. It no longer matters how things fell apart or how they even came back together. What matters is that you two now have the chance to make it work.” She reached out and pulled both Camden and me into a hug, and I was a little surprised. “The life of a SEAL’s wife is never easy. But I think you’ve got it in you to make it work.”

Wife?

We hadn’t even established what we were yet, but we were nowhere near that title.

Chapter 18

Zack

I wasn’t sure what happened between Lindsay and my mom while I was in the shower, but I could sense a difference the moment I joined them only fifteen minutes later.

They were both laughing and smiling, which carried through to our current moment.

We gathered up Camden and all four of us went on recon for our first Christmas tree. My place wasn’t that big, so I knew it couldn’t be anything extravagant, but I wanted a tree. The presents I had hidden in the back of my closet for weeks needed a tree to be displayed beneath.

The ladies decided on an artificial tree that couldn’t have been more than four feet tall, but me and my little man refused to budge. When a Terrance man made up his mind on something, there was no changing that shit.

We left the store with a six foot tree and a shit ton of decorations.

It may have been artificial and I could live with that, but in no way was I settling for some Charlie Brown tree on my son’s first Christmas.

After we got back to the apartment and carried up every last box, I started separating the branches and assembling our tree. I refused to admit the women may have been right in this scenario. I just kept smiling and humming along.

But I silently told myself that next year I may need to get a bigger place so the tree fit better.

***

My mother ended up having dinner with us again, but afterwards she retreated to her hotel and allowed me some time alone with my little family.

Camden lay on the floor on his stomach as he chewed on a toy he held in his hands. I lay beside him, making sure he always had a toy near once the one in his hands would get lost.

But during those times when he was fully occupied, I took the chance to observe the gorgeous blonde on my couch.

Lindsay had her hair piled on top of her head, wearing a pair of baggy pajama pants and a tight fitting shirt that did nothing to hide her full breasts.

She was completed engrossed in some mushy Lifetime show that was playing, not paying attention to much of anything else. I was slowly figuring out that I found just about anything she did appealing. She was so fucking innocent and sweet.

I grew angry every time I thought about how I let Haven convince me otherwise.

Camden let out a loud squeal gaining my attention and I rolled back over to face him. “I got it,” I assured him as I grabbed his little dinosaur that squeaked when you pinched its tail. He didn’t give a shit about what noise it made; he only wanted something in his mouth.

My son also loved the twinkle of all the Christmas lights that flashed through the living room. He was gnawing away on the dinosaur as his eyes settled on the tree before us. I hadn’t yet brought out the gifts from the closet but I would, maybe on Christmas morning.

When I saw Camden’s eyes begin to droop, I knew he was ready for bed.

“I’m gonna go put him to bed,” I told Lindsay and I began to stand from the floor.

“Do you want me to do it?” she asked.

No; what I wanted was for her to be sitting there on the couch doing exactly what she was when I returned. “I got him, babe.”

The comfortable state I had fallen into with Lindsay felt natural.

She smiled up at me as I lifted Camden and carried him off toward his bedroom. I changed his diaper and kissed his head before lying him down.

“Now, buddy, I’m gonna need your help,” I said in a whisper. “Daddy needs a little alone time with Mommy, and I’m gonna ask that you curl up and go to sleep like a tuff little guy.” He blew bubbles with his slobber as he grabbed for his foot and pulled it up to his mouth. “I need to go out there and put in a little more time on making this little family of ours unbreakable. Can you give me tonight, buddy, without interruption?”

He let go of his legs and kicked them as he rolled to his side.

The moment his fingers went to his mouth I knew I was safe to assume he would be asleep in no time. It was his signature move, finger to mouth before curling to his side and fading away.

“That’s my boy,” I said and I gave him one last kiss and quietly slipped from his room.

As I hoped, I found Lindsay still in the same spot on the couch completely focused on her movie.

I moved toward the living room and slid into the small space at her side. “Is it the boyfriend or her best friend?” I asked.

I had paid just enough attention to the show to know someone was setting up the main character, and it had narrowed down between the two characters I’d questioned.

“I think it’s her best friend,” Lindsay replied. “She’s jealous because she had a thing for the guy before Hally started dating him. So apparently she feels rejected and now is retaliating against her friend out of pure jealousy and hate.”

So Linds was obviously fully invested in the movie. It did put a slight damper on my plans to seduce her.

I sat at her side and within ten minutes I was fully sucked into the drama. What was once a guy in love with a girl while the other sat back and wished for the same quickly became more. It had become a nasty love triangle as the guy was banging both girls.

“What a pig,” Lindsay spat as she wrinkled her nose in disgust.

There was a pretty hefty sex scene taking place on the television as the man pinned the girl against the hood of his car in the middle of a darkened parking lot behind his business.

I took her obvious irritation in the way things were playing out to my advantage and leaned in to place a kiss against her neck. Instantly she arched her neck and I knew I had her.

Shifting toward her I placed my hand on her cheek and turned her to face me. “You had enough of this show yet?” I asked hoping like hell she had.

“Yeah,” she said in a breathy whisper.

“Good,” I said in return before I covered her mouth with mine. I traced the seam of her lips with my tongue and she opened up and sucked on the tip. Fuck, I felt that gesture all the way down to my cock as it throbbed against the seam of my jeans.

“Come to bed with me,” I asked as I kissed her along the side of her neck, pausing just below her ear. “I want you so fucking bad right now.” I had never remembered feeling this wound up in my life. I was sure it was related to our tease last night.

I stood up and took her hand in mine pulling her toward me. The front of her tiny body collided with my chest and I bent down to grip her ass, lifting her from the floor.

Her legs wrapped around me and I slowly moved toward my room, grinding my cock against her center.

When I placed her on the bed and she looked up at me through those fucking heated eyes of hers, it made me shiver. The intensity of the moment just doubled and fuck it, I didn’t want to take her hard and fast. I had no idea where the hell this urge to claim her and fully make her mine came from, but I was fighting to tame it.

“Where are we with birth control?” I asked. Last time we used condoms and apparently that was not fully effective for us, so it was a question I had to ask.

“I get the shot,” she said. “It’s good for three months and I just went three weeks ago.”

“Should we double up?” I asked with a smile. “You’ve seen what my guys can do.” I was trying to calm myself with a little with humor.

A smile tugged at her lips. “I’m leaving that completely up to you.”

I was torn between what my cock wanted and what my common sense was shouting. It had never once crossed my mind that she tried to get pregnant. I knew that night that she was on no form of birth control; she was honest when I asked, but I still went for it, multiple times. So Camden was on both of us.

Did I trust her fully?

I wanted to, I truly did.

“If it makes you feel better,” I cut her off by pressing my lips to hers. I didn’t want her to think I doubted her so I threw that bit of caution I felt out the window and I gave in to the temptation I felt.

And just as I had already known, she was unable to maintain silence. Lindsay was vocal and very responsive when it came to intimacy. That whole saying about freak in the bed, lady otherwise shit—yeah, that was Lindsay.

She was all hands, and grinding upward. She was making it real fucking hard to think straight.

“Baby, you need to slow down.” I sounded as if I was begging her, and maybe I was, because I felt like I was about to have one of those virginal moments of embarrassment.

The moment her hand slipped beneath the waistband of my shorts and she wrapped her small hand around my cock I was toast. I began thrusting my hips and the friction it created as I slid in and out of her fisted palm made me moan louder than I had intended.

“Get ’em off,” I growled as I grabbed for the hem of her pants and began tugging.

She giggled when I grew frustrated because they weren’t coming off fast enough and decided to help me.

“I wanted to take it slow with you,” I confessed. “But I’m not sure I can.”

“Don’t,” she tossed her pants to the floor at our side and when I looked down, I realized she had removed her panties at well. Still hovered over her I looked from the perfect space between her thighs up to those gorgeous eyes of hers that were just waiting for me to make my next move. “No one would guess just how evil you can be.”

She lifted her hips and when the tip of my cock pressed against her heat, my own moved forward. “Mm,” she moaned and in that moment I decided I would go slow next time.

I lowered my body against hers and in one quick motion I entered her and felt my balls tense. Fuck she was tight.

I had no intention of rushing through this. I wanted to savor each moment slowly, but all that was lost when she wrapped her legs around me and began sliding over me before pulling back to repeat the motion again and again. She was doing the fucking, and I couldn’t remove my eyes from the place where we were now joined. It was so damn hot to watch her take me in.

Each time my cock hit that sweet spot deep inside, she whimpered and I could feel her muscles squeeze around me. “I used to think about this pussy,” I whispered in her ear. “Even when I knew I shouldn’t have, I remembered the way it felt, the way it squeezed me just before you came.”

I could feel her slickness increasing, and I knew my words were only helping her reach the peak.

“That night with you was one of the best nights I’d ever had.” It wasn’t just some fucking line I was spewing; it was true. If it hadn’t been for the lie, it would have been a night I would have given anything to live out over and over. “Being inside you—” I thrust forward and her back arched, “—nothing has ever felt better.”

“Yes,” she whispered. “I’m so close.”

I wanted to get her there. More than anything I wanted to feel her contract around me, and to moan my name.

In some fucked up sense it was my way of sealing this development between us. I wanted to make her mine completely.

“Fuck,” I growled as her pussy tightened and she dug her fingernails into my hips, moaning my name.

Nothing ever sounded so sweet.

Chapter 19

Lindsay

I woke deliriously happy.

My body still felt the after effects of a night with Zack. I ached, and those tender spots I felt reminded me where he had been. Had it not been for the mumbling infant I heard through the baby monitor on the side of the bed, I would have rolled over and climbed on top of the gorgeous man who still slept naked at my side, and taken full advantage of him.

Instead of mauling him, I looked over and took the opportunity to watch him when he didn’t know I was looking. For now, Camden was fully content with his current activities, so this moment might be the only one I’d be given to observe this gentle man.

I absolutely loved Zack’s jawline. He was so handsome and I already knew from the looks of our son that he would inherit those amazing genes.

Zack was so easy on the eyes, there was no doubt women noticed him. But there was so much more to him than just his looks. Over time, he’d given me more and more of a glimpse of that sweet guy inside.

On the outside, he seemed cocky, arrogant, and so full of himself that one might think there’s no way he could be capable of anything more than one or two amazing rounds of sex. But once given the gift of seeing inside his soul, he was without a doubt the most loving, kind, and generous man I had ever known.

I knew without a doubt there wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for Camden. That alone was enough to prove he was a keeper. I didn’t have that kind of upbringing, so knowing Camden would have it was such a settling feeling. I had no idea what it felt like to have a father who would give anything to protect me, a father who loved me unconditionally and nothing, no matter how bad it was, would make him stop loving me. My son would be given those things and so much more.

While growing up I spent most days wondering if my father liked me even a little bit.

Camden would never know that kind of disappointment. I was sure of that.

“I can feel you watching me.”

I was startled by Zack’s words and I jumped in surprise. Of course he chuckled and rolled to his side to wrap his arms around me.

When he slid close and his naked body pressed against mine, I could feel he was hard. “Sorry,” he said. But I could tell by the smirk on his lips he was anything but sorry. “He knows what he likes,” he said with a shrug and I laughed.

Within seconds, his body was covering mine as he nudged my knees apart and pushed himself inside of me. I bit down on my lower lip to keep from moaning. If Camden heard me his self-entertainment would come to a halt. And right now, I just needed the time to feel what it was Zack was doing me.

“Love,” he whispered and my heart lurched at the word. “I said he knew what he liked, but fuck, I was wrong.” He pumped his hips, gradually picking up speed. “Love this,” he corrected. “I fucking love this, baby.”

***

“Where did all this come from?” I asked as Zack led me into the living room by his hand on my back. He walked behind me holding Camden in his arms and smiling as if he was up to something.

When we went to bed last night there were only two presents under the tree, both for Camden. Yet now, there were at least a half dozen more of assorted sizes, and I knew none of them were for him. My heart sank as I remembered that I had only one gift for him, yet it was still in my suitcase. It wasn’t anything I bought, but something I had made.

I didn’t like the idea of him buying me gifts when I couldn’t return that favor.

“They’re called presents,” he said, kissing the side of my head before stepping around me.

He sat on the floor by the tree and propped our son between his legs. He looked like a big kid, excitement twinkling in his eyes. “You ready?” he asked.

“Ready for what?” I could feel my stomach doing its own excited dance.

“Christmas presents, silly,” he replied, and the smile on his face melted me.

I imagined Christmas morning for the rest of my life being filled with that joyful smile of his. I imagined each day waking up to his happiness and spending our days and nights together.

I never had a family Christmas before.

When I was twelve, I actually took money from my mother’s purse and went down to the dollar store on the corner and bought myself a cheap little diary and pen, then brought it home and wrapped it in some old faded Christmas paper I found in the hall closet.

I placed it in the corner of my room Christmas Eve and when I woke the next morning I pretended that it was a gift left from Santa because he did exist, and I deserved to get a gift just like all my friends.

But the dream faded fast when my mother found it two weeks later, and gave it to my father so he could read the entries I had written.

Later that night, I stood beside a barrel in our backyard and watched my father burn my gift, because he said the lies I wrote about them would never be known.

The problem was—none of it was lies.

“What are you thinking about?” Zack asked, and I realized I had zoned out for a moment.

“Nothing,” I wouldn’t taint our happiness with my parents’ dirt. “This is the perfect Christmas morning,” I told him.

I meant it, too. In such a short time, Zack had gone from the jerk I thought deserted his son to the man I knew I was falling for.

“Yeah, it is,” he agreed as he kissed Camden’s head. Then he looked up at me. “I have my son and my girl here with me. That alone makes it perfect.”

And there he went again, saying one of his swoon worthy phrases that made me fall just a little more.

“Give me just a minute,” I said as I snuck away and went to his room to search through my suitcase. Finding the small wrapped package tucked beneath my clothes, I couldn’t help but feel excited to see his face when he opened it.

As I walked back toward the living room, I could hear Camden’s giggles and found Zack holding him above his head, blowing on Camden’s tummy. Each time Camden giggled louder, followed by Zack’s happy chuckle.

He looked up when I entered the room and his eyes shifted down to the package I was holding. “It would seem that I was not the only sneaky one,” he said with a smirk.

I insisted he open his first as I took Camden from him.

The moment he tore the paper and revealed the photo album, he squinted his eyes and opened the cover.

Just inside, I had taken duplicates of all my sonogram pictures and placed them in order. Following those was the first picture after Camden’s birth, as the doctor held him up for me to see. Thank goodness Grams was a photo fanatic that day, and the days that followed, because I was able to make a scrapbook of all the days that led up to the first time Zack met his son.

“This is amazing,” he said and I instantly picked up on the raspy tone of his voice.

He spent the next ten minutes looking closely at each photo with such dedication.

“Baby, this is the best gift,” he whispered.

“You like it?” I asked, because I had been so worried he would feel it was cheap.

“I love it,” he sat the small album down at his side as he rose up on his knees and moved across the room toward me. When he was close he cupped each side of my face with his hands and leaned forward to kiss me. “Thank you,” he whispered against my lips. “Not just for the album, but for my son.”

My eyes filled with tears as I looked up at him and saw his were also watery. A mean, tough, unbreakable man, and an album of the first few months of his son’s life had brought him to his knees.

***

I was washing the dishes from dinner as Zack gave Camden his bath. I was feeling as if everything was going perfect and there wasn’t anything that could possibly ruin my happiness.

That was until Zack’s phone began to vibrate on the counter next to the sink with an incoming message, and I looked over just as Haven’s name lit up across the screen.

And in that moment my heart sank.

Was he still talking to her after everything she did?

I immediately lifted my hand to the locket I now wore around my neck and twisted it in my fingers. Zack had it made for me with Grams’ help. She gathered a few different pictures of Camden, had them scanned, and sent to him so they could choose the best one. Inside was a picture of both Camden and Zack. But he had done it prior to us even becoming more than just two people who now had a child. It was before I came to California, which gave me hope. He had to have wanted this with me. He had to have wanted us to be more.

The buzzing of his phone made me jump and once again that name lit up the screen.

I suddenly began to question what it was we were doing. Was I fooling myself to believe we could work?

And if it didn’t work out, how would I handle that?