Dear Coca-Cola (4 page)

Since my original letter I have tried some more of your range of Deep Country Pies, and I must say I was most impressed, as was my family. It is my hope to get my family completely vegetarian this year, including our pets, and your excellent range of products can only but help me to achieve this ambition. Our canary is already vegetarian of course, but our dog Rantzen still insists on bits of Chum mixed in with his dog biscuits. Are your Deep Country Pies fit for dogs? If so I could try mixing bits of them in instead.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours faithfully

T Ravenscroft (Mr)

****

T Ravenscroft (Mr

McVities

Our Ref: CW0064

14 April

Mr Ravenscroft

17 Lingland Road

New Mills

Cheshire

Dear Mr Ravenscroft

I write further to your letter dated the 10th April regarding your complaint of a recent purchase of our Linda McCartney Deep Country Pies.

I would like to thank you for taking the time and trouble to write back to us regarding this matter and I am pleased that we have been able to restore your confidence in our vegetarian products.

For your information a vegetarian dog food called Best, produced by Oscar Pet Foods has been launched. This Company has nothing to do with McVities but they did work very closely with Linda McCartney. Should you wish to contact them, there address is:

Oscar Pet Foods

Bannister Hall Mill

Higher Walton

Preston

Lancs

Please find enclosed with our compliments the enclosed vouchers to the value of £5.00 as a gesture of our concern and goodwill to enable you to purchase products of your choice from our extensive range.

Yours sincerely

Mrs Angie Wilding

Customer Care Department

****

17 Lingland Road

New Mills

CHESHIRE

24th April

Your ref CW0064

Angie Wilding

McVitie's Prepared Foods

Ross House

Grimsby

Dear Angie Wilding

I just thought I'd let you know that I took your advice and purchased some Best vegetarian dog food and tried it out on our dog Rantzen. I'm happy to report that the following day he bit the postman, so it would seem it is keeping him just as sharp as his usual Chum. Actually I tried a couple of spoonfuls of it myself and in taste found it to be quite indistinguishable from Linda McCartney Sausages, so I am not in the least surprised to learn that Linda worked closely with Oscar Pet Foods. Whether or not I will be able to put up with Rantzen eating vegetarian dog food is another matter, as it appears to have made him quite flatulent. I had a word about it with Oscar Pet Foods and they said that this was normal and that he would soon 'settle down'. I hope so, while we've still got some paint on the walls.

Actually since upping my intake of Linda McCartney products I've had a few problems in that area myself. Apart from trying to look innocent and pretending it's somebody else, is there anything that can be done about this? Or, like Rantzen, will I soon settle down?

Yours faithfully

T Ravenscroft (Mr)

****

McVities

T

Our Ref: CW0064

30th April

Mr Ravenscroft

17 Lingland Road

New Mills

Cheshire

Dear Mr Ravenscroft

Thank you for your recent letter, I was very pleased to hear that you managed to find the Vegetarian Dog Food which we informed you about. It is known that people that are not used to soya and vegetable proteins in there diet, sometimes suffer with flatulence or similar symptoms at first but once the body gets used to the foods in the system this will settle down.

I would like to thank you once again for taking the time and trouble to write to us and I hope that you will continue to enjoy our range of Linda McCartney Foods.

Yours sincerely

Mrs Angie Wilding

Customer Care Department

*****

17 Lingland Road

New Mills

CHESHIRE

20th March

CWS Ltd

MANCHESTER

Dear CWS

The Co-op haven't often given me cause to praise their products, your foodstuffs being more synonymous with convenience rather than Epicurean delights, but I must say that with your
Co-op Egg Lasagne
you are right up there with Marks and Spencers. Coming from me this is praise indeed, as I have something of a reputation as a lasagne buff. However, and with hand on my heart, I can honestly say that your lasagne was the second most enjoyable I have ever tasted, bested only by the truly mouth-watering lasagne served to the fortunate passengers of Air 2000, which is well worth the price of the flight alone. (I once tried to obtain the recipe from them but they wouldn't give it to me, so no fools them!)

Have you any other products in the same range? Even if they are only half as good as your lasagne I would be very keen to try them.

Yours faithfully

T Ravenscroft (Mr)

****

CWS

Our Ref: 195215

25 March

Mr Ravenscroft

17 Lingland Road

New Mills

Cheshire

Dear Mr Ravenscroft

Thank you for letting me know about your recent purchase of Co-op Egg Lasagne. We make every effort to ensure our products meet the high standards that we specify and I am very sorry that on this occasion you have been disappointed. We do routinely check all our suppliers to ensure that the high standards we insist upon are being met and we shall be informing them of your complaint.

As a token of my regret I have enclosed gift vouchers to the value of £2.00 for any inconvenience incurred, and I hope that this unfortunate incident has not prevented you from shopping at your local Co-op. If I can be of any further assistance, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Yours sincerely

Jean Jackson

Customer Relations

****

17 Lingland Road

New Mills

Cheshire

1st April

Your ref 195215

Jean Jackson

CWS

MANCHESTER

Dear Jean Jackson

Thank you for your letter of 25th March. Your reply really does beggar belief! I wrote to you in praise of one of your products and you replied with a letter of apology! This worries me more than somewhat, as it would indicate that you at the Co-op receive so many letters of complaint that regardless of its contents you rattle off an apology in reply to every letter you receive.

Please reassure me that this isn't the case, before my confidence in your company is destroyed forever. And you still haven't answered my original query, so I will repeat it. Have you any other products in the same range as your
Co-op Egg Lasagne
?

Yours faithfully

T Ravenscroft (Mr)

****

CWS

Our Ref: 195215

3. April

Mr Ravenscroft

17 Lingland Road

New Mills

Cheshire

Dear Mr Ravenscroft

Thank you for your letter regarding Co-op Egg Lasagne. Firstly may I apologise for the error in my original reply to you.

We are happy that you are pleased with this product and you may be sure that we will do everything possible to maintain the quality and value in accordance with your kind remarks.

The other products available in this range are as follows: Co-op Lasagne Verdi, Co-op Lasagne Co-op Tagliatelle and Co-op Vegetable Lasagne.

If you have any other comments, or I can be of any help in the future, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Yours sincerely

Jean Jackson

Customer Relations

****

17 Lingland Road

New Mills

Cheshire

7th April

Your ref 195215

Jean Jackson

CWS Ltd

Manchester

Dear Jean Jackson

Thank you for your letter. Since I last wrote to you something quite exciting has happened! As I mentioned to you in my original letter I am something of a lasagne nut, and when you have read the following words you will realise the reason for my excitement, as it seems I may have made something of a breakthrough in the fields of lasagne technology.

Last Friday I had to make one of my frequent flights to the Czech Republic on business. Now I don't know if you are at all familiar with the food served upon CSK Czechoslovak Airlines, but is not to be recommended (Incidentally, on no account let any of the cabin staff get anywhere near your false teeth). To avoid the airline's food I usually take a sandwich, but on this occasion the bread bin was empty so I had to think of something else. Now I don't know why, other than the fact that I am lasagne mad, but I then had the brainwave of heating up one of your Co-op Egg Lasagnes and putting it in a thermos flask. It was a bit tricky spooning it in, and it did cause quite a few stares from my fellow passengers when I upended the flask and shook it out onto a plate, but the time and effort were well worth it. Whether it had something to do with the cabin pressure, or whether it was because it had spent some time in a thermos flask, I don’t know; but what I do know without any shadow of doubt is that your lasagne from a flask at 30,000 feet is different class, indeed the equal to the lasagne of Air 2000! Believe me, it was like eating ambrosia. (The food of the Gods, that is, not the rice pudding, which can be quite nice, but in my experience somewhat inconsistent.)

Following the experience I tried out an experiment at home. First I heated up another of your lasagnes and spooned it into a thermos flask, left it for a few hours, then tried it. It was the equal of the lasagne I had on the aeroplane! I then enlisted the aid of a few neighbours and blind tested your lasagne heated up in the normal manner against your lasagne heated up then put into a thermos flask for several hours. Every one of the testers vastly preferred ‘Egg Lasagne Thermos Flask’!

Bearing the above in mind I think that you should seriously consider recommending this method of preparing your lasagne on the packet. Or maybe you could alter your manufacturing process to include your lasagne resting in a giant thermos flask for a few hours before packaging? What do you think?

Yours faithfully

T Ravenscroft (Mr)

****

CWS

Our Ref: 195215

11.April

Mr Ravenscroft

17 Lingland Road

New Mills

Cheshire

Dear Mr Ravenscroft

Thank your letter regarding Co-op Vegetable Lasagne.

I have noted your comments but do not know if this idea would be practical, however I will pass on your suggestion to the appropriate department for interest or action as necessary.

We were pleased to hear that you enjoy this product and enclosed with our compliments is a Goodwill Voucher for £2.00 to enable you to try other Co-op products.

Yours sincerely

Jean Jackson

Customer Relations

****

17 Lingland Road

New Mills

Cheshire

16th April

Your ref 195215

Jean Jackson