Dear Adam (29 page)

Though he was often sluggish compared to his
sharp and alert self before the accident, they still had long talks
which wound down to a quiet hour where they lay silently together.
Each night, Eden would wait until he drifted to sleep before
telling him that she loved him. Saying it was a relief to her
heart, which was full to bursting with feeling.

During the day, their messages to each other
exploded in volume. They exchanged even more e-mails, now
accompanied by hundreds of texts, taking full advantage of her new
iPhone and extensive data plan. Before Adam, she rarely texted and
often belittled people who were constantly on their smart phones.
But now she saw it as her lifeline to Adam. With technology's aid,
their connection grew stronger and stronger, unconstrained by time
or distance.

It didn't feel like a mere daydream of the
two of them together in the future - Adam was a strong presence,
helping her make day-to-day decisions, an active participant in
even the most mundane of tasks. Even Dante had come to see Adam as
part of their lives. Adam waited with her in suspense to see if
Dante passed his driving test. He knew about Dante's first
girlfriend even before her family did. Sometimes Adam would even
join in their conversations, as though all three of them were in
the same room.

Knowing how he hated being immobile because
of his injuries, Eden took Adam with her everywhere. They would go
grocery shopping together and she would send him pictures of the
food she was buying. He would be there as she cooked or baked. They
would gently bicker over which olive oil looked best, how much
pepper to use for a particular dish.

During the weekends, she would plan outings
for them, such as festive Sunday farmers' markets where they would
have a leisurely stroll among the booths.

"What do you think of these beautiful
heirloom tomatoes, darling?" she would text, sending him a picture
then waiting for him to text back before buying.

"Mmmm," he would reply, "Would go well with
the brie we bought earlier. Perhaps we should go back and get that
olive tapenade you sampled."

Warm California weather lasted through to
October so there were plenty of events and festivals that she and
Adam could attend. San Francisco became their playground.

"Where are we going this weekend?" he would
ask, eager to be transported away from his bed.

Shakespeare in the park, food fairs, art
exhibits, even a gigantic annual book sale where she and Adam spent
ecstatic hours combing through tables of bargain books. Several
times Adam would remark how life there seemed so wonderful, and
Eden would smile to herself. She was doing more than entertaining
Adam by letting him see alluring glimpses of home. She wanted Adam
to fall in love with California, so much so that he would consider
living there.

"You're an angel."

"The drugs must be kicking in."

"I knew you'd say that."

Adam sounded alert, more like his old self,
before the accident. Eden felt bad now. She had sounded like she
was trivializing his feelings, but really it was for herself. She
didn't want to take too seriously anything he might say when he was
on strong painkillers.

"I've come to some decisions."

Eden stopped folding the laundry. He sounded
serious, purposeful.

"Now before you scold me, I want you to
remember that I have a very high tolerance for pain. I'm not like
other people, you know. I don't curl up into a ball. I actually
think best when I'm in pain."

Eden knew before he said his next words. "Oh,
Adam, you didn't."

"I stopped taking my pills for today. I
needed to think."

She gasped.

"Now, Edie, it's a one off."

She decided to shut up and let him say
whatever it was he needed to say before begging him to take his
pills. Was this was what it meant to love Adam? Constantly in fear
that he might put himself in danger and unable to stop him?

"I've decided that Luca will take over the
business once I step down and become a silent partner. How he's
managed so far in the past two months while I've been laid up has
shown me that he's the right man for the job. I trust the business
in his hands. I'm confident he'll do well. Secondly, I've decided
to speed up the process. I want to retire in less than a year's
time, instead of two years, like I originally planned. Which brings
me to us."

Eden unclenched her hands. Unknowingly, she
had balled them into tight fists, imagining how much pain Adam must
be in.

"All the women I've been with in the past
couldn't hold a candle to you, Eden. If I were there, I'd fall on
my knees and kiss your feet. I worship you. I have to be where you
are."

Eden was speechless, then a huge wave of
happiness burst inside her. "Does that mean you'll move to
California? To be with me?"

"If you'll have me."

She started crying.

"Are those tears of joy or dread?"

"Oh, Adam, I, I, I -" It was on the tip of
her tongue. She wasn't afraid to say it and not get the right
response. But she wanted to save that moment for when they were
finally face-to-face, looking into each other's eyes. She would
have to wait, even if it hurt.

"I'm so happy," she said instead. "Please
take your pills now! I can't stand to think of you in pain."

She heard the familiar rattle of the pill
bottle, then Adam twisting off the cap, and taking a swig of
water.

"There, done. Feel better?"

She laughed, shaking her head. "The point was
for you to feel better."

"Edie, Edie, Edie," he said. She could tell
he was leaning back against his pillows, settling into his bed. "I
want us to start making real plans now. For our future."

"In one year?" It hardly seemed possible.

"Less than a year, darling. Compressing the
transition will mean that work will be more hectic for me in the
meanwhile, especially because my injuries have set us back a few
months. But once I'm healed, I'll direct all my energies toward us
being together by this time next year."

She hardly dared to ask.

"Permanently?"

"Permanently.

She had been disappointed when Adam told her
they wouldn't be able to meet in November either because the doctor
told him his injuries would take at least another month to fully
heal. But his life-changing decision had staggered her. It silenced
the little, nagging voices of doubt.

Their talks now revolved around what it would
be like to live together - when he should start shipping his things
over, where he could dock his boat, how Dante would handle another
man in the house, what her family would think of him. It was real.
It was truly going to happen.

They had also begun to talk about possible
places for their first meeting, the date of which kept changing
because of his injuries and work commitments. Not Sicily, Adam
decided, though he didn’t explain why. They would fly somewhere in
between Agrigento and San Francisco.

“
It has to be somewhere
beautiful,” she insisted. “Somewhere you’ve never taken any other
woman.”

He pondered this for a bit. “How about
Edinburgh? It’s a city made for book lovers. Old buildings steeped
in history, cobblestones, tons of bookshops. We could meet in
one.”

“
Meet for the first time in
a bookshop …” To be surrounded by books when she first lays eyes on
him. It was a perfect setting, considering how they found each
other. Edinburgh took hold of her imagination.

“
It wouldn’t be too far for
you to fly. And I wouldn’t have to learn a new language.” She tried
not to get too excited. But she was already Googling Edinburgh and
trying to figure out when she could go to the library to clean out
their travel guide section.

“
We could go driving in the
countryside. It’s very green and lovely.”

“
Ooh,” she was seized with
an idea. “We could take a train to London! Spend a few days
there.”

“
Why do you want to go to
London?” Adam’s tone was strangely wary, as though London was the
last place he wanted to visit.

“
I don’t know. I’ve never
been there.”

“
Do you want to go to the
Tower of London, Buckingham Palace, all that?”

“
No,” she answered,
suddenly shy. “Just a couple of museums and … well …”

“
Where do you want to go?”
His voice was now very curious.

“
I want to go to King’s
Cross Station,” she declared loftily.

“
Oh, no.” He started
laughing. “You’re not serious.”

“
I am. I really want to go
there. Platform Nine and Three-Quarters.”

“
Darling, it doesn’t
exist.”

“
Yes, it does,” she
insisted, not at all swayed by the fact that she had never heard
Adam laugh so hard.

“
It’s swarming with drug
dealers and prostitutes.”

“
I don’t care. I want to go
there.”

“
Don’t tell me you’re going
to try and run through the wall?”

Eden didn’t answer.

“
Jesus, that I have to see.
Oh, I’ve got tears in my eyes.”

“
Laugh all you want. You’ll
see. It’ll work for me. It won’t work for you because you’re a
Muggle,” she said with a righteous sniff.

It took Adam another minute before he
finished laughing.

“
I’m so glad to see you’re
amused.”

“
Now Edie, instead of
taking the train to London, how about we go to Paris?”

“
Paris!”

“
Ever been?”

“
Yes, once with Dante for
his 13th birthday. It was our first trip anywhere outside of
California. I saved up for a year so we could go.”

“
Well, I know Paris quite
well. I want to take you to all the places only a local, or
near-local, would know.” Paris with Adam. It was almost too much to
imagine.

“
The most beautiful
restaurant in the world is in Paris.”

“
Oh, which one? Do you mean
the Jules Verne in the Eiffel? We could dine there if you
like.”

“
No, not that one. It’s Le
Train Bleu. The most stunning place I’ve ever seen. Sumptuous Belle
Epoque interiors. Dante and I were awed.” Eden sighed. She and
Dante had entered the foyer of the restaurant gaping like bumpkins.
“Didn't eat there though. Seemed too expensive.”

“
Then that is where we’ll
go. I promise. Someday, we’ll dine there together. The most
beautiful restaurant in which you've never eaten.”

Eden began to daydream about Edinburgh and
Paris with Adam. Seeing him for the first time, being able to touch
him, hold him ... She had to hug herself tightly, trying to keep
her anticipation to herself.

She felt like jumping for joy, telling
everybody, but knew she couldn't, not yet. Not until after they had
met. Adam had to remain a wonderful secret she carried everywhere.
He had never asked her not to tell anyone about them, but she felt
she had to be very quiet. All questions would end up with queries
that would make the whole thing look preposterous. "How did the two
of you meet?" "What does he look like?" - "We haven't met." "I
don't know what he looks like."

After giggling to herself at work over one of
his naughty text messages, Eden was suddenly confronted by Lisa,
who was dropping off some files at her desk. "Are you seeing
anybody?"

Eden was flummoxed at how to answer this
question truthfully. Both possible answers would have elements of a
lie. Technically, she hadn't even "seen" Adam.