Daybreak (14 page)

Mr. Kramer hadn’t mentioned anything to Lucas about Nate, but Lucas had the feeling he’d wanted to a few times. Lucas was grateful that he didn’t, as he was sure he’d burst into tears if the subject came up. While part of him loved being with the Kramers, being so close to Nate was torturous.

On Thursday, Mrs. Kramer cooked a pot roast and garlic mashed potatoes. Lucas insisted that he could sit at the dining table and was just settling himself onto his chair when the front door opened.

“Nathaniel?” Mrs. Kramer called from the kitchen.

“Who else would it be?” Nate answered. “You ordered me home for dinner, remember?” A few moments later he walked into the dining room, cheeks rosy from the cold. He ignored Lucas and sat down across the table.

Mr. Kramer carried in a platter of green beans. “Hello, son.”

“Hi, Dad.” Nate managed a smile.

“How was school?” Mr. Kramer took his seat at the head of the table and unfolded his napkin onto his lap.

Nate shrugged. “Fine.”

Mrs. Kramer bustled in with the rest of the food and took her place at the other end of the table. Lucas half listened as Nate’s father talked about his day at the office. He took quick peeks across the table at Nate, who nodded as his father talked, but kept his gaze on his plate.

“Lucas, have you talked to your professors?”

Snapping to attention, Lucas focused on Mr. Kramer. “What? Oh, my profs. Yeah, I’ve e-mailed them. I have some reading to do, but my books are at the apartment, so…” He’d considered asking Nate to get them, but hadn’t.

“Oh my goodness, I never even thought of that!” Mrs. Kramer put down her fork. “You should have said something. I’m sure Nate will go get your books for you.” To Nate, she added, “Do you still have your key?”

Lucas suspected Nate might have thrown the key off the ferry, or something equally dramatic. “It’s okay, really. Thanks, Mrs. Kramer. I can catch up later.”

“Or I suppose Samuel could go by and get the books. If he’s not too busy being out God knows where every night.” Mrs. Kramer frowned.

“I still have the key. I’ll get the stuff tomorrow.” Nate didn’t look up from his potatoes.

“There you go. Lucas, you have all this time sitting around with your injuries; you might as well get some studying done. How are you enjoying your classes?” Mrs. Kramer picked up the platter of sliced beef. “More roast?”

For the rest of the meal, Lucas talked about school with the Kramers while Nate silently finished his meal. When everyone was done, Nate pushed his chair back and picked up his plate. “Thanks for dinner, Mom. I need to do some studying upstairs.” Unspoken was the order that Lucas not join him.

As his footsteps faded on the stairs, Mrs. Kramer sighed heavily. “I don’t know what’s gotten into that boy. He was so happy this summer. He’d finally come out of his shell this year, and now he’s crawled right back inside.” She looked beseechingly at her husband. “Benjamin, won’t you talk to him?”

Mr. Kramer’s gaze met Lucas’s. “Yes, I think perhaps it’s time. I’ll sit down with him this weekend.”

Would Nate’s father really tell him that he knew the truth?
Although Lucas thought it would be for the best, worry still gnawed at his gut.

* * * * *

Lucas wasn’t sure what woke him -- a burst of pain, or perhaps a noise -- but he opened his eyes to colored shadows on the ceiling. Turning his head, he found Nate sitting on the other bed, watching him. Red light spilled out of the darkroom behind him, the door left open.

“You were the first person I really trusted. You know, the first lover.”

Lucas thought he might be dreaming. “Nate? What time is it?”

He went on as if Lucas hadn’t spoken. “I want to trust you again.”

Lucas was now wide awake, all traces of sleep vanished in an instant. His heart sped up. “I want that too.”

“Can I? Can I trust you?”

Lucas didn’t hesitate. “Yes.
Yes
.”

“I miss you so much.”

Tears sprang to Lucas’s eyes.
Was this really happening?
“I miss you too.”

Sliding off the bed and onto his knees, Nate reached out and brushed a tear from Lucas’s cheek. “I’m so in love with you.” He half smiled. “I tried really hard not to be. Didn’t work.”

Lucas thought for sure that he must be dreaming. “I love you, Nate. I love you.”

With a red glow framing his head, Nate leaned down and kissed him. Lucas opened his mouth and their tongues glided together. Tasting Nate again, Lucas felt as if he was coming home. Nate deepened the kiss, leaning in closer.

Lucas pulled away with a gasp as pain vibrated through his side. Nate rocked back on his heels. “Shit! Sorry.”

“It’s fine, it’ll pass.” Lucas felt strangely awkward all of a sudden. Nate
loved
him. He’d said it, and Lucas had said it back. It was
momentous
. So…what were they supposed to do now? “I’m sorry. I don’t think I’m going to be doing much more than holding hands for a while.”

Smiling, Nate kissed him gently. “I’m sure we can think of something.”

“This is supposed to be the part where we passionately make love.” He grimaced. “I can’t believe I just said that.” They both laughed, and Lucas was overcome with bliss. After the weeks of tension and distance and anger, it was as if they’d never been apart.

Nate got to his feet and went over to the darkroom and flicked off the light. Then he picked up the desk chair, taking it over to the bedroom door and jamming it underneath the knob. On his side, he squeezed in beside Lucas on the narrow bed, climbing under the covers. “Is this okay?”

Lucas pulled him closer with a kiss.

Chapter Twelve

Most of the room was still in shadows, but early morning light brightened the windows. Lucas stirred, trying not to wake Nate. They were wedged into the bed tightly, and he could hardly believe that it hadn’t been a dream.

Nate loved him.

They were back together. At least, he hoped they were and that nothing would change in the light of day.

Smiling, Lucas watched Nate, his mouth slightly open in sleep, his dark eyelashes beautiful on his cheeks. He never thought he’d wake up next to Nate again, and he gave a silent prayer of thanks to the universe.

As much as Lucas loved being in the same bed with Nate once more, he longed to stretch his limbs after the cramped night. His right arm was asleep between them, and he inched it upward.

Nate shifted and muttered, and Lucas froze. He knew a moment of panic as he wondered if Nate would regain his senses and tell him it was all a mistake and that he didn’t love him after all.

“We need to go back to our apartment.” Nate opened his eyes and smiled sleepily. “No home cooking from Mom, but the bed’s much more comfortable.”

Exhaling, Lucas smiled back. “I couldn’t agree more.”

They kissed softly, heads resting together on the pillow. Nate traced Lucas’s lips with his finger. “I missed kissing you.”

“I missed you kissing me too.”

Their lips met again, and Lucas swept his tongue into Nate’s mouth. As if a flip had been switched, they went from tender explorations to passionate kisses, and Lucas lost himself in Nate as his body woke up.

“I want you,” Lucas said as he sucked in a breath. “So much.”

As Nate rolled on top of him, Lucas’s healing ribs protested, and he flinched. Nate immediately moved back onto his side. “Sorry. I forgot.”

“It’s okay, so did I.” Lucas shook his head. “It’s not fair. I finally get you back and we can’t even do anything.”

“Well, we may not be able to
make love
,” Nate said, giving him his best cheesy romantic expression, “but all is not lost.”

With a wink, Nate got to his feet. After pulling down Lucas’s comforter and moving it aside, he walked around to the foot of the bed. Ever so gently, he shifted Lucas’s right leg over, and then, getting on his hands and knees, he crawled between Lucas’s legs. Careful not to touch Lucas’s bad knee, Nate traced his fingertips up Lucas’s right leg.

Before Nate even touched his cock, Lucas thought he might come at any second. Nate gave him a predatory look and abandoned the foreplay, pulling Lucas’s boxers down enough to pull him out.

Nate’s voice was husky. “I need you in my mouth. I need to taste you again.” He bent over and his tongue swirled around the head, making Lucas moan. He hadn’t jerked off since the accident and he knew he wouldn’t last long the way Nate was sucking him.

Lucas’s ribs ached as he breathed harder, his whole body twitching with pleasure as Nate’s hot mouth worked his cock. Watching Nate, he was floating on a cloud, happiness and pleasure swirling through him. Even though he’d gotten off with other guys, nothing compared to what he felt when he was with Nate.

Nothing.

His orgasm ripped through his body, his back arching as he shot deep into Nate’s throat. Tipping his head back, Lucas closed his eyes as the pleasure swept over him. Utterly spent, he took shallow breaths.

Nate licked his lips and grinned. “Good morning to you too.”

“That was -- I have no words.”

Standing at the foot of the bed, Nate tugged his boxers down to his hips and began jerking himself off.

Lucas groaned. “You’re going to get me hard again.”

Chuckling, Nate walked around the side of the bed as he stroked his long cock. “Maybe that’s the plan.”

Lucas laughed and reached for him.

* * * * *

Late that afternoon, Nate returned with Lucas’s school books. “I wasn’t sure which ones you needed, so I brought all the ones that were out on the coffee table.” He dropped his bag with a resounding thud on the carpet by the La-Z-Boy. Grinning, he leaned down and kissed Lucas. “You can thank me later.”

“Your mom’s still out with her friends. I could thank you now.” Lucas waggled his eyebrows.

“Yeah, about that.” Nate’s smile was gone, and he sat on the couch. “We need to talk. We should have talked before, but I wasn’t exactly thinking clearly.”

A coil of dread unraveled in Lucas. Had Nate changed his mind? “Okay.”

“We should both get tested. It’s not like we’ve ever done it without a condom anyway, but it’s good to have peace of mind after we’ve been apart.”

Lucas thought about having sex with Casey. They’d been safe, but Nate was right. You never knew. “Yeah, you’re right.” He thought of that morning, and Nate swallowing his semen. “So, about oral…do you ever use a condom for that? I know we never have.”

“For me, it’s an acceptable risk. I tried it a couple of times with latex and it just -- it’s not even worth doing. The odds of transmission are low, and there are different schools of thought on spitting versus swallowing. So I’ve always done what I liked and been tested regularly.”

“Makes sense.” Lucas had to admit that the idea of blowing someone over a condom wasn’t appealing.

Nate peered at him. “You were safe while we were apart, right?”

“Yeah, I was. I mean, that guy at the club in the bathroom, he didn’t…there was no condom.” His pulse raced. Bringing up that night was possibly a huge mistake. “But there was with Casey.”

“Right. Okay. Good.” Nate nodded several times, short, staccato movements. Clearly he didn’t want to hear any details, and Lucas didn’t blame him. Lucas considered whether he should bring up his brief encounter with Ethan at that party, but since it had only involved handjobs, he kept quiet.

“What about you? While we were apart?”

Shifting in his chair, Nate seemed unsure of what to say. Finally he rolled his eyes. “Okay, so aside from a few jerk-off sessions in bathrooms, there wasn’t anybody.”

“What? You weren’t with anyone? What about Mr.
As the World Turns
?”

“Huh?” Nate’s brow furrowed.

“You know.
Reed
.” Lucas drew out the middle vowels to make the name sound even more ridiculous than it already was.

With a blush, Nate shook his head. “There was no Reed. I made him up.”

“What?” Lucas barked out a laugh. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“I wanted you to be jealous. I admit it wasn’t one of my finer moments.”

“Of all the names in the world to choose from, you picked that one? What, was ‘Thorne’ taken?”

Laughing, Nate tossed a cushion at Lucas’s head. “Okay, okay!”

After his giggling subsided, Lucas crooked his finger. “C’mere.”

Nate kneeled beside Lucas’s chair. “Is there something the patient needs?” He smiled wickedly.

“Oh, hell yes.” Lucas leaned down, and their mouths met.

Just then, the front door scraped open down the hallway. “Hello!” Mr. Kramer called.

“Or not.” Lucas sighed, sitting back.

Nate dropped onto the couch with a comical frown. “Hi, Dad!” He added under his breath, “Perfect timing, as always.”

Mr. Kramer walked into the den. “Hello, boys.” For a moment, he said nothing else, but simply looked at them.

Nate’s brow creased. “You okay, Dad?”

“Yes, yes. I’m fine. Long day at the office.”

“Tell me about it.” Nate laughed. “I’ve gotta have a shower. I stink of ferry.” Nate bounded off the couch, and as he disappeared into the hall, they could hear him whistling.

Mr. Kramer took Nate’s seat on the couch, unbuttoning his suit jacket as he did. For a few moments, he and Lucas looked at each other, and heat spread over Lucas’s cheeks. Mr. Kramer smiled broadly. “So, I take it things are…on the mend?”

Blushing even more, Lucas nodded. How could Mr. Kramer tell? “Yeah, we worked things out.”

“Good, good. Glad to hear it. He was being frightfully stubborn, wasn’t he?”

Lucas shrugged. “I don’t blame him.”

“Well, it’s all in the past now, I hope.”

“I hope so too. I think it is.”

Mr. Kramer nodded again. After a few moments he said, “He was terrified when you were hurt, you know.”

“He was?” A wave of warm happiness spread over Lucas, followed by a pang of guilt that he should take pleasure in Nate’s pain.

“Oh, yes. When I picked up the phone I heard the panic in his voice right away.” Reaching over, Mr. Kramer patted Lucas’s knee fondly. “Thank goodness it all worked out. Situations like that -- injuries, hospitals -- have a tendency to expose truths.” Sitting back, he took off his glasses and wiped them with the ever-present handkerchief in his pocket. Lucas smiled at the similarity to Nate. “Although, perhaps Nate and I should still have that talk.”

“You mean…about him? About us?”

“I think it’s high time. It’s also long past due that he confesses the fact that he isn’t going to be a lawyer.”

“I’ve tried to get him to tell you guys. I don’t know what he’s waiting for.”

The front door opened, and they heard Mrs. Kramer in the foyer. Mr. Kramer smiled sadly. “Nor do I.”

* * * * *

“Pass the sweet and sour chicken balls.” Sam nudged his brother.

Nate gave him an incredulous look. “Seriously? You’re eating more?”

“Dude, I’m hungry!”

Passing the carton of food, Nate shuddered. “How you aren’t three hundred pounds is beyond me.”

“Now, now. Let’s just be happy Samuel has decided to grace us with his presence,” Mrs. Kramer said.

She certainly had passive aggression down to a science
, Lucas thought to himself. “Sam, how’s work going?”

“It’s cool, man. I sold a new program to this big, multinational company. My commission’s going to be legendary.”

“What kind of company?” Mr. Kramer asked, cracking open his fortune cookie.

“Pharmaceutical. They’re working on a new drug for Parkinson’s disease. It’s supposed to revolutionize treatment if it works.”

Lucas was always a bit taken aback when he was reminded that under the frat boy exterior, Sam was actually smart. “Wow, that would be amazing.”

Mrs. Kramer beamed with pride, her earlier prickliness forgotten. “And just think, you’ll be a part of it, Sam.”

Nate snorted derisively. “Mom, he sold them a computer program. He’s not curing cancer.”

“Ah, there’s that outspokenness again. I’m not sure I’ve missed it, Nathaniel.” Mrs. Kramer frowned.

“A thrilling time is in your immediate future,” Mr. Kramer said.

Lucas, Nate, Sam, and Mrs. Kramer looked at him, puzzled. Sam spoke up first. “Huh?”

Waving the small slip of paper from his cookie, Mr. Kramer repeated himself. “A thrilling time is in your immediate future.”

The tension broken, everyone chuckled. Cracking his own fortune cookie, Lucas pulled the paper out. “Flattery will go far tonight.”

Mrs. Kramer laughed. “Tell me again how much you enjoyed the takeout I ordered, and perhaps I’ll bake some brownies tomorrow!”

Sam, with a mouthful of chow mein, cracked his cookie. “You are talented in many ways.”

“Except in table manners,” Nate noted, although he smiled.

Mrs. Kramer pulled out her fortune. “Keep your plans secret for now.”

“Ohhhh, Mom’s got a secret!” Sam grinned.

Mr. Kramer templed his fingers. “Hmm, the plot thickens.”

“Come on, what’s yours?” Sam nodded at Nate, who was quietly reading his fortune.

Under the table, Nate’s foot rubbed against Lucas’s. Nate cleared his throat. “To love is to forgive.”

“Isn’t that the truth! I tell you, those Chinese know what they’re talking about.” Mrs. Kramer nodded sagely.

Nate smiled affectionately. “Mom, they make these in a factory in Jersey.”

“Still, they’re words to live by. Don’t you think?” She looked at her husband.

“Absolutely, my darling,” Mr. Kramer agreed.

Lucas was careful not to look at Nate, but he smiled to himself as he ate his cookie, Nate’s foot warm as it stroked his own.

* * * * *

“So.”

Nate glanced up as he unbuttoned his shirt. “So, what?”

“When are you going to tell them?” Lucas leaned against the headboard.

“Tell them what?”

“Take your pick, but I meant when are you going to tell them that you’re moving back in with me.” For a moment, Lucas felt uneasy. “I mean, you are going to, right?”

“Of course.” Nate slipped his shirt off and tossed it on the chair. “You think I want to stay in this room? I’ll go crazy. I was going to move in with Jamie so I could have some freedom again.”

“Oh. Jamie.” Lucas was instantly, ridiculously jealous.

“Yeah, you know, my good
friend?
Emphasis on
friend
. Lucas, you know there’s nothing going on.”

“I know, I know. Sorry.” Lucas smiled sheepishly. “I just want you all to myself.”