Davenport Harbor (Six Degrees Book 3) (30 page)

Her head still slumped over slightly, her shoulders rose and fell and her face lifted up, her eyes closed. I watched as they opened slowly, and my heart literally stopped.

I hated what I saw. I hated that I had helped put that look there.

What have you done, Johnny boy?

Anne

Breathe, Anne,
I silently pleaded with myself so that I didn’t rush off sobbing into the night.

My hand stung from the hot molten chocolate. But it was my heart that hurt more when I opened my eyes and drowned in the dark depths in front of me. I could hear the raven-haired woman shrieking, but couldn’t make out the words. Adrenaline and shame made my ears buzz and my hearing was off. I stood up slowly, still staring at him.
Why would he treat me like this?
I was beyond an idiot to think I could ever be wanted by a man like him, to be in love with a man like him. Why I still wanted to have him hold me close baffled me.

He
’
d shown me that even if he wasn
’
t as horrible as Blake had been, he wasn
’
t any better either.

“
I
’
m sorry, ma
’
am,
”
I stumbled slightly as I stood, my knees protesting in agony as a warm wetness started to seep down my leg.
Shit! I
’
m bleeding
.

“
Ma
’
am?
”
She kept shrieking,
“
Do you think I
’
m old, you clumsy idiot?
”

“
I
…
I
’
m sorry
…”
I murmured, trying to get my wits about me.

“
Sorry?! These are hundred dollar stockings!
”

“
I
’
m
…
.
”
I didn’t even know what to say as I tried to hold back tears of anger and humiliation.

“
ENOUGH!
”
John yelled, and I watched all three of his guests look at him, eyes stunned wide in shock, but I didn’t look at him. My eyes were on the raven-haired slut in front of me.

He
’
d shown me his true colors, and I was done. First thing in the morning, I
’
d pack up Zoey and my things, and we
’
d hit the road. I had enough money saved.

“
Johnny!
”
The raven-haired woman gasped in surprise.

“
GET OUT! NOW!
”
John roared. Thinking he was about to talk to me, I stumbled out of the dining room and headed back to the kitchen, my eyes to the ground, too many things running through my head.

Going straight to the faucet, I turned on the cool water. I placed my singed hands under it, letting the murkiness of the chocolate wash away, my mind drifting to another time, to another man who
’
d hurt me. Except that time, it
’
d been blood pouring from my nose instead of melted chocolate off my hands.

“
You stupid bitch! Don
’
t you see I don't want to do these things? It
’
s your fault. You push me to do this. I'm all you are supposed to want, Annie! You
’
re mine. You
’
re never going to get away! Do you hear me?
His words rang loudly in my ears and I closed my eyes.

Hunching my shoulders forward, I let the cool water cleanse my hands as I tried to shut my mind off from the past. Completely wrapped up in my thoughts, I didn’t hear the front door close. I didn’t even hear John walk into the kitchen.

My eyes still shut tightly, I felt the water turn off and my hands being taken in his, a soft towel gently drying them. A part of me wanted to open my eyes and let myself believe that he actually cared, that in a way, he had done all this for some whacked reason, but I couldn’t. I didn’t have it in me to give in and look at him only to let myself hope again.

Men were all the same.

“
Look at me,
”
his voice gently demanded, and I swallowed the knot at my throat so I wouldn’t let the tears stream down my face.
“
Kitten, look at me.
”
The tortured tone of his voice made me open my eyes, and I was surprised to see the regret in his dark, smoldering ones.

“
I
…
I
’
m sorry I messed up your dinner party,
”
I started to tell him, my eyes captive to his, trying, even if fruitlessly, not to let him see how I was feeling. How his voice, his touch, affected me. How HE affected me.

“
Anne
…”

“
I have an extra lava cake. I know they
’
re your favorite
…”
I started to mumble, and the look he gave me made me shut up mid-sentence.

He broke our gaze, his eyes going to my now bright pink hand. One hand held a towel between us, but the other hand skimmed over mine, and I winced as his touch grazed over the sensitive skin.

“
Does it hurt?
”
He asked, and I almost wanted to laugh, not sure what he was asking.
My hand? Yes. My ego? Yes. My heart? Hell, yes!

“
No,
”
I lied and could tell by the look on his face that he knew I was lying.

He lowered his head as he brought my hand up to his lips and kissed the singed skin. I tried to pull away, but he didn’t let me. He wasn’t rough about it, which only made my breath hitch. A stupid tear escaped as his eyes met mine, his eyes on the sole tear slowly rolling down my face, his gaze tortured.

“
I'm the lowest of the low, Kitten,
”
his voice rumbled. He leaned his forehead down on my hand, and it was then I realized he was kneeling in front of me.

“
Mr. Davenport.
”

“
John. Please, Anne.
”
His hands left mine and went to my waist. He lifted his head, pressing it to the slight roundness of my belly.

His hands slowly moved down the outer sides of my hips, down to my thighs. And even though my skin was covered by the uniform he'd ordered me to wear, it itched to feel him closer. His hands moved lower until his fingers touched the back of my knees and my sex was aching for more.
God, I
’
m an idiot. A slutty idiot!
His thumbs moved to my knees, and I looked down and saw a scowl on his face. His eyes were on my knees.

“
You're bleeding.
”
His voice was hoarse.

“
It
’
s just a scratch. I
’
ll clean it at the guest house.
”
His eyes burned me when they connected with mine.

“
Where is Zoey?
”

“
She is asleep in her stroller in the family room.
”
He nodded and stood, leaving me there. As quickly as he left, he returned with a sleeping Zoey on his chest and extended his hand. I hesitated.

Do I take it? Do I let myself go with him? Could I make it this easy for us? For him?

John

My hand was out to her, the princess on my chest, self-loathing coursing through me. I hated the hesitation in her eyes. I opened my mouth to talk, but she shook her head.

“
I should go home.
”
Her voice was calm, too calm. My heart was racing at what that could mean.

She extended her arms to reach for Zoey, and I stepped forward, placing a hand gently behind her head. She looked up at me.

“
I know saying sorry isn
’
t enough.
”

“
Stop, please just...just stop,
”
she blurted out in a hard whisper so as not to wake up Zoey.
“
These last couple of weeks you’ve been gone and I’ve been worried...
”
her voice still had that eerily calm tone,
“
We were a mistake.
”
Her eyes burning into mine, she kept talking, her tone calm and scary,
“
You made sure to remind us of our places in the world tonight. We shouldn
’
t have crossed those lines, but we did. It was a mistake. A beautiful mistake, but a mistake nonetheless.
”

“
No!
” The
regret over my actions only flared brighter. I had to explain. Make her understand where my mind was at.

“
Yes.
”

“
Anne.
”

“
I was worried about you,
”
she murmured, her eyes shining bright, and I froze,
“
I was worried and you were where? With them?
”

“
Kitten.
”

“
I thought I meant something to you, but you had me serve your whores!
”
The look in her eyes made my heart hammer.
“
I
’
m putting in my notice, Mr. Davenport.
”
Her gaze was flat, her stare not directly on me. Regret flushed away into painstaking panic as she kept talking in that same damn tone,
“
I want you to know that I
…
I appreciate you taking us in, but I think it is time for Zoey and I to
—”

“
No. You can
’
t leave
…”
I said, not caring about the desperation in my voice.
We fucked up, Johnny boy.

“
I can give you a week. Zoey and I have to
—”

“
Two.
”
I let my hand fall, anger sweeping through me.

She wouldn’t even look at me or let me speak. I wanted to grab her, make her listen to me, but I shoved my hands into the pockets of my slacks instead.

“
Okay, two weeks,
”
she said softly, her hands going to Zoey
’
s delicate back and quickly placing her on her chest. The child hardly stirred. I glanced at the time.

Almost eleven.

“
You could stay here tonight if
…”

“
That isn
’
t necessary, Mr. Davenport. We will be out of here the moment I finish cleaning,
”
she curtly told me, a wall a mile high around her and her stare completely guarded.

More than it had been that rainy night when we’d first met.

I was a fucking genius. My little plan had worked better than I could have ever imagined. She definitely saw the rust and chinks in my armor now that was for sure. Shit, I was a fucking beast. No, I was the unredeemable monster of fairy tales now. Shaking my head in disgust at myself and for my actions, I quickly let her know I
’
d be in my office as I walked away alone, feeling emptier than I had in a very long time.

Anne

My temples throbbed, my knees felt stiff, and my hand still stung, but the kitchen and dining room were spotless.

I was surprised to discover that John
’
s dinner companions were gone.

Not that it really mattered, but I couldn
’
t help the feeling of relief knowing that he hadn
’
t taken the three of them back to our room. No, to
his
room. Escorts! He
’
d made me serve his call girls. Mrs. Garcia, my old boss from the diner, would have looked at the three of them for one second and instantly would have made the sign of the cross over herself, praying to the Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost on their behalf.

Blake had his share of those kinds of girls while we dated, and I had stupidly stood by, too afraid of what he would do to me if I left. He hadn
’
t hid it from me, not at the end anyhow. It was as if he got off knowing that I knew and that I was helpless to get out from under his hold.

From under his thumb.

Closing my eyes, I stood over the sink, the scene playing in my mind, and it felt as if it was just yesterday.

We are walking into a club, his hand is in mine, his buddies are close behind us. With my free hand I try to pull down the way too short, sequined dress without Blake noticing. If he did, he
’
d get mad and we
’
d end up fighting once we got back home. I look around and notice it
’
s nothing but men and extremely scantily clad women hanging out.

Blake looks at me, his smile more of a cocky smirk as his eyes look at my chest and back up. He doesn
’
t say a word to me the entire time, nor do his buddies. I
’
m like an accessory, a thing. I don
’
t even exist to them. He has girl after girl rub against him, some even know him by name. They don't look at me either.

Shaking my head to clear my thoughts, I turned off the faucet and looked at the countertops. After one last wipe down, I dried my hands on the apron that was part of the uniform and laughed unceremoniously.

I
’
d traded sequins for cotton, but I was still just part of the background. My place in the world was once more highlighted to remind me of where I belonged.

God! If the hopeful, bright-eyed eighteen-year-old girl who
’
d arrived at Berkley could see me now, she
’
d stare at me in horror. How had I messed up my life so badly? Closing my eyes and taking a cleansing breath, I did what I always did when everything felt like it was too much. I pictured my baby girl
’
s face and I let a small smile fall over mine, even if this time, a quiver moved over my lips.

Two more weeks and we would head out again.

We
’
d keep going until we reached Costa Rica and found a small city on the beach. My old boss had family in Costa Rica. Maybe I could call her once I knew everything was safe, and she
’
d help me find her people.