Daughter of Earth (Tales of the Guardian) (19 page)

     But she knew that wasn’t the answer. She willed herself to stay calm. Something had to be said to keep this argument from escalating, she just wasn’t sure what.

     “I don’t know what is happening inside of you, Alexander. Would you please tell me, or tell all of us so we can help you? This mistrusting, and enraged Guardian, is not you,” she said slowly, then shook her head.

     “Isn’t this what you want, for me to be more human? Isn’t this what humans do? They let their emotions rule them, to govern their thoughts and actions, am I not correct? You want to get married and have a normal life, don’t you?” He paused taking a few deep breaths, then continued. “What Damarus offers is neither normal, nor rational and yet you would trust him over me?”

     Emily had had enough. This was all so ridiculous and out of place. A side of her just wanted to burst into tears and curl up into a ball. Instead she chose to muster power from her stronger side, the one which had gained strength each day she remained in Eden, each day she exercised her willpower.

     “What I want Alexander,” her voice was low and almost a whisper, “is for you to be yourself. Yes, I want to marry you and lead as normal a life as we can. But, by your recent behavior I am beginning to wonder if that is possible. Where is the Alexander I know, the one I love?” Emily stepped closer to him to put her hand on his face.

     He jerked his head away from her touch, but not before she saw his eyes. They were cold, unfeeling.

     “I guess he’s no longer here,” he responded softly.

     His sentence resounded in everyone’s ears like a piano dropped from a forty-story building. Or was it Emily’s heart that made the crushing sound? No one could be sure as they all watched silently as he exited the Arena, his eyes and stride set in a defiant exodus.

     The pain began first in her stomach but then spread like a wildfire to every inch of her body. It was an overwhelming sensation, one she wished she could block out, but couldn’t. A sob began rising in her throat gaining momentum and almost ready to escape, but Emily swallowed it. She would not lose it, not here.

     There was a minute of silence after Alexander disappeared from everyone’s sight. They were all trying to grasp the magnanimous events that had slipped inside a small moment.

     “I need a break from this,” Emily looked at Damarus.

     “I understand. We can begin the exercises of the day later this evening or even tomorrow if you’d like,” he placed his hand on her shoulder.

     “No, I mean from all of this. I need a break from Eden and everything that is going on. I need my home, my father.” She unintentionally choked on her words. “I need to think things over and I need to do it somewhere normal and familiar. We can work on things when I get back.”

     She pivoted on the balls of her feet and headed for the Arena’s exit.

      It wasn’t a legitimate promise. Emily was not positive whether she would ever return. All these problems began when she entered Eden. Alexander had changed the moment she’d agreed to fulfill her purpose here. That wouldn’t have happened if she’d stayed in her world.

     She started to run when Olivia caught sight of her.

     “Emily!” Olivia called out. “Emily, wait!”

     She reluctantly slowed her pace to allow Olivia to catch up.

     “Where are you going?”

     “I’m going home,” Emily stated, sounding sharper than intended.

     “Home for a visit, or like, home for good?” The alarm on Olivia’s face was obvious, as her eyes and nose scrunched into a concerned frown.

     “I don’t know yet,” she turned the corner sharply into the east gardens. The women’s quarters were a few hundred paces ahead. All she needed was her necklace. Her head was swimming and steaming all at the same time.

     “
How could Alexander say such a thing to me? Did he not just propose two weeks ago? Am I missing something I should have seen? We have been so happy. Now we’re back to him acting like a complete sociopath!”

     Alexander’s Jekyll and Hyde characteristics were more than she knew how to deal with. His unpredictability was severely wearing on her heart. Since being in Eden she’d experienced a crazy rollercoaster of ups and downs all hinging on his actions.

     She was done with it all, at least for now.

     She’d already been planning a visit to her father at the end of next week for her birthday. It wasn’t a big deal to bump her visit up a whole week and possibly stay longer than planned. The thought of being with her father almost drew tears, but she fought the urge.

     “Is anyone going with you?” Olivia interrupted Emily’s thoughts as she struggled to keep up with her and still make eye contact.

     “It’s safe to say Alexander won’t be. For all I know he’s probably taken off again to some far corner of the earth where he can feed his split personality,” she barked.

     She hadn’t really meant to sound so mean or even pass cruel comments about Alexander, but she was hurt and, after all, she was human. In fact she was only an eighteen-year-old girl and she reassured herself she’d already shown maturity beyond her years. A little pouting and backbiting was certainly acceptable.

     “How are you going to get home without Alexander?”

     They had reached the women’s quarters and had begun their ascent up the long staircase to the third floor. Emily hadn’t thought about that. She’d come here with Alexander, but in all reality she wasn’t sure he had actually done anything besides offer instruction and moral support. Thinking of him in that light, the way she’d known him to be just weeks ago, was the final blow to her self-control.

     The tears began to flow freely, but she refused to acknowledge them. They fell silently to the ground.

     “All I need to know is how to get back and then I can do the rest myself,” she looked at Olivia with a questioning expression, hoping she would divulge what Emily needed to know to escape.

     “Don’t look at me. I haven’t been trained in travel. I don’t know how to get anywhere. That is one of the last things they teach us, and I am still undergoing my emotional development with Aldara. In fact, at this point your abilities exceed my own,” Olivia said, apologetically.

     They soon reached her room. She headed straight for the vanity, violently pulling out the small drawer, as if taking out her anger on the dense wood could make her feel better. It didn’t, but the sight of the emerald necklace did because it was her passport out. It was a ticket to see her dad and receive the comfort only he could give her.

     She placed it around her neck tucking it beneath her training tunic. And, just as fast as she’d come she left the room, with Olivia trailing behind like a timid puppy. Olivia was following her out of sheer fear of the unknown rather than dog-like loyalty.

     Emily made a beeline for the gates, cutting across the grass, not bothering to stick to the stone paths. She still wasn’t sure how she was going to go home but she resolved to figure that out when she got to the gates.

      The huge wooden doors of the entrance were in sight when she heard someone call for her.

     “Emily. Hey, Em!” Xavier shouted through cupped hands as he jogged toward them.

      Stopping short of the giant marbles stairs, he intercepted the two girls and held out his hands beckoning Emily to stop.

     “Where are you going?” Xavier asked, a little out of breath.

     “Where do you think?” She looked him up and down trying to get a feel for why he was here. “Let me guess, Alexander came to you all distraught and sad and needs you to tell me to forgive him?” Emily’s snide remark carried her pain and belted it out into the open for everyone to hear.

     “No, I haven’t seen Alexander. Damarus came to me. He feared you were angry and upset and wouldn’t want to listen to him. What’s going on?” He was genuinely clueless.

     “Just tell me how to get back home, Xavier. What do I need to do?” She crossed her arms.

     She wasn’t up for a venting session, not with him.

     “Okay, okay hold on there. I’ll help ya. I just want to know why you’re storming out in a fury,” he backed up a few steps indicating his submission.

     “I want to see my father. And since he seems to be the only man I can truly count on, I need to know how to get back to him.”

     Xavier glanced over at Olivia hunting for any more answers. She simply lifted her shoulders in defeat.

     “Well…” he rubbed the back of his neck, nervously looking around, searching for help, for something who could make sense of what was going on. “It’s the same concept as getting here. You exit through those gates there and then concentrate on the feelings of where you need to be. In your case, it would be home. Envision how you feel when you’re home, it is the same concept if you want to go someplace else as well.”

     Someplace else sounded just fine to Emily at this point. Even if she ended up in the middle of some lake in South America she would be happier than she was in this moment.

     “Thank you,” she said curtly, and then began taking the steps.

     “Wait Emily, you’re safer here in Eden. This valley offers you the only sure protection available. If you’re gonna go you need to have Alexander with you… Or if he’s the cause of all this,” which Xavier was beginning to understand he was, “then I’ll go with you. You need to have someone with you to make sure you stay safe.”

     His smoky green eyes begged her even more so than his words. But, they weren’t the eyes she wanted pleading with her. Where was Alexander? Why had he not come to stop her?

     No, she needed to get away from all of this and that included anyone who was associated with this mess.

     Emily straightened her frame, haughtily. “I’ll be just fine. I do not want any Guardians to follow me and that is an order,” she was taking advantage of the fact that the Governing Five had announced she was a leader and should be treated as such. She knew they all had to listen if she gave instructions, which she hadn’t done until now.

     “Besides, if something does happen I’m sure Alexander will come to my rescue. He’s good at that. I’m beginning to think that’s all I am to him, a girl who needs his protection. He thinks I’m defenseless and it is starting to seem like protecting me is all he
really
cares about.” She turned toward the doors before she could see Xavier’s hurt expression.

     Home was all she wanted right now. She could not be deterred from going.

     Placing her hands on the heavy wooden doors she gave a hard shove. She expected light to peek through the crack but there was only darkness.

     Moving forward, she pushed the doors open enough to let her squeeze through and into the coldness awaiting her.

Chapter 16

     Emily ran her fingers along the smooth surface of her desk. The familiar aroma of berries hung in the air. The scent was a fake one put off from the plug-in air freshener, but she didn’t mind. It certainly wasn’t the overpowering smell of the fruits growing on the trees in Eden, but it offered reassurance she really was home, and that was what she was looking for.

     At first she’d felt slightly disoriented when she appeared in her room. She’d even taken a moment to slump down in her chair as the walls and ceiling seemed to spin just a little. As soon as her senses righted themselves she glanced at the clock. It was 4:30 in the afternoon, which meant her dad was bound to be home soon.

     Her eyes scanned the room.

     Not a single thing had been moved. Everything was just the way she’d left it. The old copy of
Gone With the Wind
was still out on her desk instead of in its rightful place on her bookshelf. It had been her mother’s favorite book and Emily had often taken to turning its pages over and over hoping to catch her mother’s essence somehow. But, it always just smelled like an old book. She’d never caught a hint of her mother’s smell, not even now when she felt like she needed it the most.