Dark Wolf Returning (16 page)

Closing the distance between them, he curled his fingers around her upper arms as he leaned over her, getting right in her face as her head went back and she stared up at him with solemn eyes. “You want to know why I never told anyone about us?” he asked, forcing the words through
his gritted teeth. “Because I was
afraid,
Rey. Afraid of letting myself love you. Of what my father might do to you if he found out. Of the kind of man I had become because of him. I followed him so Eric wouldn’t have to, but I hated every second of it. Hated the goddamn gut-wrenching terror of what he would do to you if he found out you were
mine
.

“And the night I finally took you to my
bed, he’d already been pissed because of what I’d done. Because I’d jeopardized my position in the pack by killing El’s rapist. She was his own daughter, Rey. He hated her, and she was a
part
of him. So what do you think he would have done about
you?

“From where I was standing, the banishment was a twisted kind of blessing when it happened, because there’s no way in hell that I would have
been able to stay away from you after finally getting my hands on you. And he would have tried to kill you for it. Then I would have killed him, which would have turned everyone who followed him against us. We would have been marked for death the second he stopped breathing. So my banishment saved your life!” he ended on a stifled roar.

“If that was true, you would have come back when you
heard he was dead. Or better yet, taken me with you!” Her voice cracked, and he winced at the pain he could see filling her glistening eyes. “God, Eli. You could have at least come to me and told me goodbye.”

“I
did
.” His throat was so tight he could barely force the words out. “I went to the Alley that night, Rey. I parked a mile out and walked in. No one even noticed because you guys were
having some kind of birthday celebration for Jeremy. I stood out there in the damn trees and I watched you with them. With your friends. And I
knew
that as much as I loved you, and as much as I hated the goddamn danger your job put you in, the right thing to do was to let you stay with them. With your family.”

“Oh, God,” she sobbed, breaking away from him. With her arms wrapped around her
body, she hunched forward, crying, “You had no right to make that decision for me. You were wrong!”

He swallowed, his own eyes stinging as he watched her completely fall apart. “I...I’m starting to see that. I should...have talked to you. I know that now.”

She straightened and glared at him, her thick lashes drenched with tears. “You don’t really love me,” she said through her trembling
lips. “I...I don’t believe that. Either you’re lying...or it’s the stupid bond screwing with your emotions—with your head—now that you’re back. I spent a long time thinking about it last night, and that’s...that’s the only explanation that makes any sense.”

Feeling as if he’d been slashed open inside, he asked, “Why is it so hard for you to just believe me?”

“Why?” Her chest shook with
a small, wretched laugh. “Because if you loved me, Eli, the truth is that you would have come back for me a long time ago.”

At first, he couldn’t get out the words he needed to say, everything jammed up inside him, locking him down. He took a deep, rattling breath, struggling for his damn voice, and somehow managed to tell her, “I was afraid it was too late.” Pulling a shaky hand down his
face, he stepped close to her again, wanting so damn badly to take her into his arms and crush her against his body. “Christ, I was so afraid you wouldn’t want me anymore. Makes me sound like a pussy, but it’s the truth. I didn’t know if you were feeling the same pull. Was afraid of what I would do when I saw you. What if you’d found someone else? I was always too worried to ask about you whenever
I talked to Eric or Elise. I talked to them less and less over the years, not wanting to know. I swear I’ve lived with that same cold burn of fear every goddamn day since you became a woman and I realized how badly I wanted you, and it was even worse after I left.

“And maybe...” He shoved a hand back through his hair again, then shook his head. “Hell, maybe I felt like I had to protect you
from me. From all the things I’d done for that bastard. Even with him dead, I would have still been the same person.”

“You really think I would have cared?” she asked in that tear-drenched voice that was killing him.

Working his jaw, he said, “You
should
.”

Her chin went up, a rush of angry color burning in her cheeks. “Well, I wouldn’t have, because you survived him, Eli. You didn’t
let him break you. You might have acted like his thug, but you survived him and became the man you are today. A man I could have loved if you hadn’t already broken my heart.”

“Rey,” he groaned, reaching for her.

“Don’t,” she snapped, stumbling back from him. “Don’t touch me. I can’t think when you do that.”

“And I can’t
not
touch you,” he rasped, catching her with one arm wrapped
around her waist, the other lifting as he pushed her hair back from her face, “because you’re the only thing in this world that I want.”

“Eli—”

“Christ, Carla.
Listen
to me. What I told you last night, it was the truth.”

She started to shake her head, but he gripped the back of it, holding her still.

Pressing his forehead against hers, he said, “If you won’t believe my words,
then trust what your body is telling you. Because
sex
doesn’t feel like this. Sometimes it feels good, sometimes even fun—but it doesn’t feel goddamn
necessary
.”

“It’s the bond,” she cried.

Lifting his head, he stared deep into her beautiful eyes, and said, “Bullshit. It’s your heart, Rey. And I want it so badly it’s killing me.”

She blinked, and then, without any warning, she suddenly
grabbed him like she had in this same room yesterday, and crushed her mouth against his. He took her with him as he stumbled back, falling onto the bed, and she straddled his hips, rubbing herself against his already hardening body. Hunger rolled up his spine in a thick, searing wave, and he cursed the layers of clothing separating them. Breaking away from the kiss, he sucked in air, ready
to beg her for what he wanted, but the words dried up on his tongue when she scooted back and shoved up his shirt, kissing the center of his chest, right over the thundering beat of his heart. He pulled in a sharp breath as he ripped the shirt over his head, and every muscle in his body tensed with anticipation as her mouth traveled lower, trailing biting kisses across his torso, around his navel,
until she was nuzzling his happy trail with her nose and ripping at the buttons on his fly, the worn denim straining over the heavy bulk of his erection.

“What?” he gasped, half convinced he must have hit his head somehow and was imagining this. “What are you doing?”

“You’re always touching me,” she panted, kneeing his thighs apart as she tugged down his boxers and jeans. Wrapping her
hand around the thick base of his cock, she looked up at him through her lashes, her voice even huskier as she said, “You’re always making it about me. About my pleasure. But this time, it’s going to be about you, Eli.”

Bracing his booted feet on the bed, he reached down and shoved his boxers and jeans a little lower, his face so friggin’ hot he knew he had to have turned bright red. But
he had Carla’s feminine little hand wrapped as far as it could go around his massive hard-on, her lush mouth hovering over the slick, swollen head, and he was pretty sure his heart was getting ready to pound its way right out of his chest. He looked too brutal to ever go inside that perfect mouth of hers—but then, he had a strong feeling he was going to look right there, too. As if it was where he
belonged, his body close to hers, letting her do whatever the hell she wanted to him.

Then she took him between her lips, inside the moist heat of her mouth, stroking him with her tongue, and the sensation was so shockingly intense that he shouted.

Needing to see every carnal, mind-shattering second of this, Eli let his knees fall open and braced himself on an elbow, his other hand gripping
her hair and lifting it away so that he had an unobstructed view of her going down on him. Of that hot little mouth hungrily sucking him deep, damn near sending his eyes rolling back in his head.

“I’m going over,” he growled just moments later, warning her, but she didn’t move away. Moaning around his aching shaft, she sucked him even deeper, and he fell back to the bed with another guttural,
visceral shout on his lips as the climax ripped through him, so explosive his back literally arched off the mattress. He shoved his fingers into her soft hair, holding her to him as it went on and on, the sexy sounds she made only driving him further over the edge, until he was shaking and cursing and willing to bet everything he owned on the fact that she’d almost killed him with the pleasure.

Son of a bitch,
he thought, throwing his arm over his eyes as he tried to catch his breath. If he’d come that fast when he was younger, he’d have been embarrassed as hell. But this was Carla, the woman who turned him inside out, who turned him on like no other had ever even come close to doing, and he figured he was lucky he’d actually lasted as long as he had.

While he lay there trying
to make sure he wasn’t in the middle of a heart attack, she pulled her head back, releasing him from the hot, wet suction of her mouth, and rested her forehead against his lower abdomen. Her body shook with a fine vibration, her shoulders lifting and falling with her rapid breaths.

“Carla, that was unreal. I didn’t even know it was possible to come that hard. Or that it could feel that friggin’
incredible.”

He felt a smile curl her lips. “That’s because I lo—”

She instantly froze, whatever she’d been about to say choked off before he could catch it, her breaths coming so quickly he worried she was going to hyperventilate.

“Rey?”

“I...I need to go,” she whispered, the soft words unsteady as she scrambled off the side of the bed.

“What?” He knew he sounded out
of it, but he was still groggy as hell from the violence of his release. “What are you talking about?”

Pushing her hair back from her face, she turned toward the door. “I’m sorry, but I just realized that Wyatt’s, um, waiting for me. He said he needed to talk to me.”

“Wait!” he growled, jerking into a sitting position. “Jesus, Carla, just stop for a second and look at me!”

She whipped
her head to the side as she flicked open the lock on the door, glancing at him over her shoulder, and he felt like he’d been punched in the gut.

He could see the fear on her beautiful face as clearly as if it’d been lit up like a neon sign.

“Damn it, don’t do this,” he choked out. “Don’t run out on me again.”

“I’ve never run out on you,” she argued, twisting the handle. “I might
have asked you to stop, or to leave, but I’ve never run away. And I’m not running now. I just...I have...I have to go,” she said in a carefully controlled tone, before hurrying out of the room.

By the time he’d yanked his jeans over his hips and made it onto the front porch, she was already halfway across the Alley. He ran after her, not caring what he looked like—just a crazy half-dressed
man with wild hair who was cursing a blue streak. But he forced himself to stop when she ran inside Elise and Wyatt’s cabin, knowing damn well they were at home. He could see the colored lights from their TV flashing across the living room window. Yeah, he could force his way inside, but where was that going to get him? In an argument with Wyatt? The usually easygoing Runner had already made it
perfectly clear how protective he was when it came to the woman he thought of as a sister. The only person who meant more to him was Eli’s own sister, and he scowled, not wanting to make this situation any more difficult for Elise.

Shit
. He would have to get to Carla another way. Maybe wait until everyone went to sleep that night and sneak in through her bedroom window, the way he’d considered
doing before. But what if Wyatt set an alarm? He didn’t care if he made a jackass of himself by setting it off, but Carla would probably want to kill him if he ended up putting everyone in a panic.

Figuring he’d just keep calling her cell phone until she picked up, he turned and headed back to his cabin. Just as he was about to climb the porch steps, he caught the raised voices coming from
the side of the cabin, and went back down to take a look and make sure everything was okay. But the instant he walked around the corner, he realized it was the Irishman and the little witch who seemed to be driving the guy crazy.

“You go off on a walk with that guy again, Sayre, and there won’t be enough of him left to bury,” the Runner was snarling in a low voice, the rough words vibrating
with fury.

“Why are you doing this?” she hissed, sounding on the verge of tears. “What the hell is it to you who I go out with?”

“He’s got a reputation. All he’s interested in is getting between your legs.”

Eli didn’t know who they were talking about, but he hoped to God it wasn’t one of his guys. The last thing they needed was trouble with any of the Runners—especially this one.

“Hah!” she shouted, stomping her foot against the grass. “That sounds like
you
and pretty much every woman you ever come across!”

“Don’t,” Hennessey growled, grabbing her by her upper arms. “This isn’t about me. It’s about—”

“Oh, just shut up,” she snapped, cutting him off as she jerked away from him. “And stay away from me, Cian. I mean it. I’m tired of this stupid mind game you
keep playing. You don’t want me, but you don’t want anyone else to want me, either? It’s sick! Just leave me alone!”

She stormed off around the back of the neighboring cabin, and the Runner stared after her, his big hands fisted at his sides. He looked like a man who was having to physically restrain himself from doing something that he knew he shouldn’t, and then he suddenly turned around,
stalking forward with his head down, while a guttural string of curses fell from his lips.