Dark Wolf Returning (15 page)

“You’re wrong,” he growled, hating that she felt that way. That she was even
thinking
that way, her words ripping his insides to shreds.

“Eli—”

“You want a reason, Rey? Because I have one for you. The fact that I’m falling
in love
with you all over again is a hell of a good reason.”

She paled so quickly she looked like she was bleeding out. “No...that’s not true. It can’t be.”

Unable to stop the words now that they’d finally broken free, he said, “Or maybe rediscovering is a better word. I never fell out of love with you.
Not for one moment, Rey. I just buried it. Hid from it.” He took a few more steps that brought him closer, hating that he wasn’t holding her. “And now you’re going to try to hide from it, too, because you’re scared. But you should trust me when I tell you that it won’t work, baby. It won’t work for shit.”

She lowered her head, her shoulders shaking, and he quickly made his way around the
bed, desperate to reach her. But when he placed his fingers under her chin and lifted her precious face to his, the sight of the tears spilling from her eyes made him feel like acid had been poured into his veins. “Christ, don’t do that,” he groaned, swiping at the tears with his thumb. “Please, Rey. It’s breaking my heart.”

“Why? Why are you d-doing this to me?” she cried, shaking so hard
her teeth were chattering. “If I’d thought you were g-going to...to do this...
Damn it
, I never would have gone after you!”

Pushing her hair back from her face, he said, “I would have come back, anyway, Rey. That wasn’t a lie. And I’m so damn sorry. For everything.”

She squeezed her eyes shut, forcing more tears to spill down her cheeks. “Just tell me what you want.”

Roughly, he
said, “I want you to forgive me.”

“Eli—”

He cut her off, his voice even rougher than before. “Because I meant it when I said that I love you, Carla. I loved you before, and I love you even more now.”

“Oh, God,” she breathed, her face white as she opened her eyes and stepped away from him, stumbling back. “I just...I need you to go, Eli. Please, just go.”

Frustration filled
him so quickly he was surprised he didn’t burst with it. “That’s not going to solve anything. Stop pushing me away.”

She sniffed, swiping at her tears. “I’m not pushing. I just...I need some time to think.”

He opened his mouth, then clamped it shut, knowing that shouting at her would solve nothing. And that’s exactly what he wanted to do at that moment, his beast as angry and frustrated
as the man, prowling beneath his skin; a visceral, possessive creature that wanted to break free and claim what it damn well knew belonged to them.

Jesus, maybe I do need to get out of here.

“Please, Eli. If you mean it,” she whispered unsteadily, “and you want me to be able to deal with this, then you have to give me the chance to think it through.
Please
.”

It went against every
single natural instinct he possessed, but he knew she was right. Staying right now wasn’t going to make anything better for either one of them. Not when the only thing he could think about was completing the bond and permanently marking her little ass as
his
.

Hating the brutal knife being twisted in his chest—the knife he understood all too well that
he’d
put there—he gave her what she’d
asked for, and walked out the door.

Chapter 10

C
limbing out of the truck, Eli squinted against the bright rays of afternoon sunlight and looked for Carla in the crowd that had gathered to meet him and his men, as well as Brody and Cian, who had come along with them this time.

Thanks to Rachel, who was currently staying with Eric and Chelsea, their mission that afternoon had been a success. With her help and
knowledge of the area and its back roads, they’d been able to pinpoint the location of a weapons stockpile in Hawkley that Roy had been putting together and form a plan for going after them. It’d been a long shot, and while they knew that what they’d found wasn’t the pack’s entire supply, they’d managed to drive away with a hell of a lot of guns that would now be used to protect Silvercrest lives,
rather than destroy them.

Though the building they’d targeted had been on the outskirts of the town, Eli had hoped to catch a glimpse of some of the women and children who lived there, ready to take them back with them if that’s what they wanted, but it was just as Rachel had said. The Whiteclaw were cocky enough to leave their munitions poorly protected, but they had the female residents
of the town on lockdown, refusing to let them outdoors.

And if Bartley and his men had already arrived, then they were keeping a low profile, because they hadn’t seen a single one of the mercenaries during the two ops that they’d pulled off.

“Jeremy!” he called out as soon as he caught sight of the blond Runner coming across the glade to meet them. “We need Jillian! Lev took a bullet
in the shoulder!”

“On it!” the Runner called back, changing direction as he headed back toward his cabin. “Just get him over to our place!” he threw over his shoulder.

James was helping Lev out of the backseat, the blond merc murmuring something about how it must be his lucky day, seeing as how he was finally being allowed near the pretty little witches.

“By the way,” Brody murmured
as Lev walked past him holding a wad of cloth against his wounded shoulder. “You flirt with either Jillian or Sayre, and Jeremy’s liable to kill you.”

Lev’s white teeth flashed in a grin. “No worries, man. I’ll be an absolute angel.”

Kyle snorted. “Seeing as how that’s impossible, I should probably say goodbye to you now, Slivkoff.”

Everyone laughed, easing some of the tension that
had settled over the group when they’d learned of Lev’s injury, and Eli’s skin prickled with awareness when Carla finally approached him, just as he was shoving his keys into the front pocket of his jeans.

“How’d it go?” she asked, a slight flush on her cheeks as she pushed her hands in her pockets. This was the first time they’d been relatively alone since last night, the others all heading
off in different directions, and he wondered if she was embarrassed about what had happened between them in her bedroom, or if that flush had something to do with what he’d told her. Or, hell, maybe she was just warm. For all he knew, she hadn’t even thought about his emotional confession after he’d left her and headed back to his cabin—which had been one of the hardest goddamn things he’d ever
had to do.

But as much as he wanted to be pissed at her for reacting that way, he knew that wasn’t fair. Like she’d told him last night, the things he’d done in the past had killed her trust, and if he wanted her—and if he ever wanted to hear a similar declaration of love come from her own lips—then he had to be willing to put in the time and effort to rebuild it.

It wasn’t something
that was going to come overnight, no matter how badly he wished it could be like that, because this wasn’t a damn fairy tale. But it was something he’d fight for until he’d drawn his last breath. He wasn’t going to give up.

Not now. Not ever.

Shoving a hand back through his windblown hair, he held her dark gaze as he answered her question. “We got some of the weapons, but it can’t be
their entire stock. They’ve probably already distributed the heavy-duty stuff to their soldiers.”

With a nod, she asked, “Is Lev going to be all right?”

A grin tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Didn’t you hear him?”

She gave a soft, feminine snort. “Yeah, but from what I can tell, he
always
sounds like that.”

“Don’t worry about him,” he murmured. “He’ll be fine.”

“So
about the weapons. You know this kind of thing is just gonna piss them off, right?”

“I sure as hell hope it does. We’re going to have our plans ready to go in the next day or two, and after learning what’s happening in that town, the sooner we can give those women the chance to escape, the better.”

“I agree with all that,” she told him, as they both started to walk across the glade,
“but was it really necessary to take such a risk? I mean, you went in broad daylight again, just the day after you destroyed their drugs supply.”

“We chose the time they would least expect it,” he rumbled, wondering exactly where they were headed. Not that it mattered. He’d follow her wherever she wanted to go, until she told him to get lost. And even then, he’d trail after her from behind,
determined not to let her out of his sight.

She sounded more than a little peeved. “So then it’s okay for you to repeatedly put your life in danger, but I’m not even meant to do my job? Do you have any idea how backward that is, Eli?”

She was obviously still pissed about their earlier argument, but he wouldn’t have done a damn thing differently. She’d wanted to come with him and the
guys, and he wouldn’t hear of it, which hadn’t exactly gone over well.

Breathing out a tired sigh, he said, “Rey, I’m covered in sweat and more than a little of Lev’s blood. Can I just take a pass for a little while and argue with you about this after I’ve had a shower and grabbed a beer?”

“Fine.”

He caught her arm as she started to walk away from him, and smiled down into her adorably
disgruntled face. “You want to join me?” he asked. Just because he didn’t want to fight with her didn’t mean he didn’t want her with him. Hell, he’d keep her glued to his side if she’d allow it. Except, of course, for when it was dangerous.

She shook her head, tugging her arm free. He expected her to stomp off, but she didn’t. Instead, she made an odd little movement with her shoulder, and
said, “By the way, you had a visitor while you were gone.”

At the odd edge to her voice, dread settled in his gut like a dead weight. “Who the hell would visit me?” He hadn’t left any friends behind when he’d been banished. Not trusting his old man, he’d never associated with any of the pack Lycans except for those who’d served his father, and he wouldn’t have wanted anything to do with them
now, if they’d managed to survive. Eric and Elise had been the only ones who had ever mattered to him, until Carla had come along.

“I didn’t get her name,” she murmured, staring off to his right instead of looking him in the eye. “But Eric confirmed that she was one of your old flames.”

Oh, hell no.
He wasn’t letting this screw up the small amount of progress he’d managed to make. Curving
his hands over her shoulders, he waited until she finally gave in and looked at him, then said, “I did
not
invite anyone to come down here, okay? I haven’t even spoken to anyone in town.”

“Well, you can sort that out with her.”

“Are you telling me she’s still here?” he asked, his tone grim.

“No. Elise got rid of her.” Her mouth twisted with a smirk. “But I have a feeling she’ll
be back. She seemed like the tenacious sort.”

“Then I’ll tell her she’s not welcome here.”

Her brows lifted with surprise. “You don’t even know who it was.”

“I don’t care who it was. Not. At. All.”

For a split second, he was staring down into the most stunning, breathtaking look of hope on her face that he’d ever seen, before she quickly snuffed it out. “You know, I get that
you’re trying to say the right things here, Eli. But you could save us both the trouble and just go ahead and sleep with her.”

“That’s not going to happen,” he ground out. “I don’t even want her.”

“Is that right? Because from the sound of it, you certainly wanted her before. She said the two of you were
really
close, right up until the time you left.”

Christ, he just couldn’t catch
a break, could he? Rubbing the back of his neck, he said, “Then she was lying, Rey. I don’t even know who this woman could be, which tells you how much she meant to me. But if we’re going to have this conversation, let’s at least take it inside.”

“Fine,” she said for the second time, and he clenched his jaw. He was really starting to hate that freaking word.

She followed him over to
his cabin, and he was relieved they weren’t going to have to do this in front of his sister and Wyatt. Once they were in the bedroom he’d taken, he turned and locked the door behind him, then leaned back against it and folded his arms over his chest.

When she finally stopped pacing at the foot of his bed and turned to look at him, he said, “Do you want to go first or should I?”

She frowned,
but jerked her chin for him to start.

“Okay, then, here it is. I don’t want any woman other than you, Carla. I haven’t for a long time. And I would think that was fairly obvious, seeing as how I keep getting my hand down your pants every chance I get and pouring my heart out to you like a lovesick sap. Does that sound like a man looking to screw his way through the pack?”

When her frown
deepened, but she didn’t say anything, he asked her again. “Does it?”

“No,” she muttered.

“Well, at least you’re willing to admit that much to me.”

“What exactly do you want out of this?” she suddenly snapped, glaring.

“Not much,” he snapped back. “Just
you
.”

Her voice started to rise. “You really want a half-breed? Is that what you expect me to believe?”

He drew
his head back, stunned. “Where the hell did
that
come from?”

“Isn’t that what this has been about right from the start? You were ashamed of me, weren’t you? That’s why we were always a secret!”

“That’s bullshit!” Fisting his hands at his sides, he stalked toward her. “You’re just grasping at straws now, Rey,” he said in a voice that was low and guttural. “I expected better from you.”

“You are such an ass!”

“Because I screwed up? Yeah, I did. I know that. But I’m back and I want another chance. I bloody well
deserve
one after what I gave up for you!”

“What you gave up?” she wheezed, shaking her head. “For
me?
You’re not making any sense! I didn’t banish you.”

“You, Rey. I gave up
you
. Don’t expect me to do it again.”

She blinked, staring at him as if
she thought he was crazy.

“And don’t ever think that I would feel the way my old man did. Yeah, I followed him. I followed him so that I could keep an eye on that bastard, and keep him away from my family as much as possible. Which included my mother. I even...” The gritty words trailed off and he shook his head, backing up a step, unable to believe he’d almost told her.

“You even what?”
she asked, her voice slightly softer now, as if she sensed that something in the argument had just shifted.

He opened his mouth, but his lungs were working so hard he couldn’t get anything out.

“What, Eli? What is it?”

He squeezed his eyes shut, his hands fisting and flexing at his sides, while his chest heaved like a friggin’ bellows.

“Eli?”

“I was the oldest, which meant
I was the one she ran to,” he heard himself saying in a voice that didn’t even sound like his own. “Always. Whenever he lost his shit with her, I put myself between them. I don’t think Eric and Elise even remember. I tried to keep them away from it. But I knew, I
knew
he would end up killing her if she didn’t get out.”

“I thought your mother ran off with another man. A human one.”

Wetting
his lips, he finally opened his eyes, looked at her, and said, “She did.”

Her slender brows pulled into a V over the delicate bridge of her nose. “I don’t understand.”

“I would help her sneak off sometimes, so that she could get away from it all. I guess they met during one of her trips away from the mountain. I don’t know anything about him, except that he made her happy. When she told
me she wanted to run away with him, I wasn’t surprised.”

“Oh, no,” she whispered, looking heartbroken for the little boy that he’d been. “What about you and El and Eric? How could she...just leave you like that?”

He gave a small, bitter laugh that tasted like crap in his mouth. “I think by that time she saw us as more of an extension of my old man than of herself. She knew she’d never
make it if she tried to take us with her. The League of Elders would have given him full permission to come after us with every resource the pack possessed. But it didn’t matter. As wrong as it sounds, I was...I was
glad
she wanted to go.”

Quietly, she said, “Eli, you have nothing to feel guilty for.”

The sound that ripped up from his throat was deep and sarcastic. “Don’t I? When she
told me what she wanted,
I
got her out, because I was trying to save her. Told her to never come back, because I knew he would kill her if she did. But I didn’t realize what it would mean for everyone else. Her leaving him...it just pushed him even deeper into his hate-colored madness.”

“But you couldn’t have known that. You were only a child.”

Another bitter laugh jerked past his lips.
“That’s what the older pack members would always say about us. They would talk about how sad it was that we’d lost our mother when we were so young. And, Elise, yeah. She was just a little thing. But Eric and I...we were hardly little kids. He’d forced us to grow up long before we were adults.”

“Do Eric and Elise know that you helped her escape?”

His eyes widened, and he could feel the
blood draining from his face. “Hell no. They’d never forgive me.” He took a step toward her, his breaths still coming hard and fast as he said, “And you know what the worst part is? The worst part is that I should have had the balls to end it and kill him, but I didn’t, because she made me
promise
that I wouldn’t hurt him. So I kept thinking someone else would do it for me, but his disease, his
hatred, it spread like a damn plague. And after I was banished, I left the rest of you here to deal with it!”