Daring the Wild Sparks (35 page)

“I’m going to puke,” I mutter into my mug. He gives me a withering look behind Shasta’s head and I nearly splutter coffee all over myself.

She turns to face Rod and gives him a winning smile. “Okay! You can be my personal coach. I wonder who our coaches will be anyway.” Rod and I both shrug at the same time.

“Well, Roddy, I’ll catch you later.” She winks at Rod and he smiles at her like a lovesick dog as he watches her leave. His contemptuous look slips back onto his face and I roll my eyes before I swiftly leave the kitchen in Shasta’s slutty perfume wake.

When I return to my desk, I spot that I missed a call on my cell phone. Picking it up, I notice it was my dad. Hitting redial, he answers and I say, “Dad, hey.”

“There you are! I called you Sunday to wish you a Happy Easter! I also called you yesterday, but you didn’t call me back. I was worried. I thought maybe Finn kidnapped you.” He laughs; his rough voice makes me smile.

“I’m sorry. My phone didn’t show that I missed any calls. I feel bad. I tried calling you on Sunday, but you didn’t answer your phone either.” My phone must’ve also taken a vacation. I can’t tell Finn or even Rod. They’ll bitch at me again about getting a new phone.

He laughs again. “I didn’t hear mine ring!”

“We’re a perfect pair, aren’t we?”

“Yep. How was Delaware at Finn’s mom and stepdad’s?”

I clear my throat and prepare to fib a little. “It was good. How was Jared’s?”

“Oh, he has appendicitis.” That runs in my family, it seems. My dad had to have his appendix removed, and so did my grandmother. Now, my brother has it. He says, “I’m surprised you never had appendicitis too.”

I scrunch up my face. “Are you wishing I did?”

“No, pumpkin pie. I was just making an observation.”

“Okay… How’s Jared feeling?”

“He’s okay. Taking meds and hoping he doesn’t have to have surgery.”

Smiling, I say, “Yeah, he’s always been a wimp.”

“Pretty much.” We both laugh and he asks, “How’s my son-in-law?”

I cringe at his pet name for Finn. He’s always called him that, but never to his face. I always thought it was sweet before, but now it feels like that stupid dangling carrot. A dreadful taunt.

“He’s good. He’s not here in Richmond, though. He had to go to Charleston, West Virginia this morning for an assignment at another station until Thursday.”

“At least you got to spend some time with him.”

“Yeah. We went to a few places, which was really cool. We went to Bethany’s and then to Fenwick Island lighthouse. His mom took us to Cape Henlopen State Park. After that, he took me to his high school and showed me where he played baseball.”

“Sounds like you two were busy. I saw his dare. I had to watch it twice, I was so in shock. I even watched it a third and fourth time when I showed your grandparents and then Jared.” Is that a good thing?

“What did you all think?”

“We thought it was…nice, I guess is the word I want to say? Your grandmother asked why he hasn’t proposed to you yet.” Here we go. Since the day I told my family Finn and I were officially together, my grandmother has been pestering me about marrying him. She said I need to “reel him in,” as if he’s a wild game fish.

I tilt my chair back and put my wrist across my forehead, dreading my next revelation. “Um, well, he did ask me to move in with him.”

“I figured he probably would at some point.” He suddenly takes on a stern tone. “Are you?”

“Yes.”

He sighs. “Hadley.”

“What?” I feel like I’m being scolded for not cleaning my room.

“Aren’t you two
ever
going to get married? You’ve been dating for a long time now. Why aren’t you at least getting engaged before moving in together?”

I glance over at the two office doors before I raise my voice. “Dad, I’m 33 years old!”

“I’m not trying to tell you how to live your life, but aren’t you ever going to marry him?”

“Why are you pushing marriage when yours didn’t even work out? You’ve never told me to marry Finn before. So, why now?” That was harsh.

“I don’t know. Maybe I’m just getting older and even more old-fashioned in my ways.”
That must be another family trait
. “I mean, I’m not naïve to think that you’re not sleeping with him, but still, I just wish you two would get married already.” My mouth falls open and I nearly have a heart attack from his statement about me having sex. “I told you when I met him that he’s your future husband. I knew it then. I know it now. What’s taking so long?” I have to bite my finger so I don’t explode.

I blow out a whoosh of air and lean forward onto my desk. “We’ve talked about it, but have just decided to move in together for now. We’ve been dating for three years. Don’t you think we are
way
overdue to move in together?”

“I think you’re way
overdue
for a wedding. Am I ever going to walk you down the aisle before I die?”

“Dad, you’re being a tad melodramatic. Does it really matter if we’re married?” Who am I? Why am I defending
Finn’s
viewpoint yet again to someone else in our family?

Because Finn and I are a team. That’s why. Maybe
we
should get uniforms.

“Well, you should at least get married before you have kids together. And, your grandmother would love to see her only granddaughter in a wedding dress, hopefully sooner than later.”

“Thanks for the oh-so-needed pressure,” I grumble acerbically. I’m done with this. “I have to get back to work.”

“Okay. I love you. I’m not trying to be an old stick in the mud. I want my baby girl happy and I know you want to marry Finn. You belong together.”

I look up as my door slowly opens. Rod slips into my office quietly, aware that I’m on the phone. “We will someday, just not now.”

Rod sits down and waits until I hang up before saying, “Can you believe there is a dude that will work here with such a weird name?”

I give him a meaningful look. “No,
Rod
. I never thought of that
ever
happening.”

He rolls his eyes. “I was just going through this jerk’s office, but I can’t find anything about him.”

I look up from my phone as I drop it on the desk. “You were snooping through a new guy’s office? Gee, Shaggy. He’s worked here all of zero days. I’m sure there are a ton of clues! Maybe even a Scooby Snack for you in the near-future?”

He rips off a pink Post-It from my desk, balls it up and wings it at my face. “Zip it the hell up, Hadders! I was just checking. Damn. You’re even grouchier than you were earlier.” I take a sip of my now-cold coffee at the exact moment he says, “Did you get a visit from Aunt Blow yet?” Startling even myself, I unceremoniously spray my coffee all over my desk and all over Rod.

“Hadders!” he squeals and jumps out of his seat. “Shit!”

Covering my mouth, I cough and try not to laugh at the coffee dripping down his Smurf tie. “Aunt
Blow
? I’m so sorry, Rod. I didn’t mean to!”

He scoffs and grabs a handful of tissues from the box on my desk, urgently trying to clean off his tie. “Well
doesn’t
it blow? Shit! You did this on purpose because I sprayed you with beer!” He tosses the tissues over my desk and into my wastebasket. “It’s a good thing I keep spare clothes in my desk.”

I dubiously laugh. “You do? Why?”

“Because I knew you’d eventually do something to try to get my clothes off!” I frown as he turns to walk out of the room.

I blurt out, “Wait!”

Rod stops and eyes me skeptically. “What? Are you going to now hose me with creamer?”

I walk past him and shut the door. “No. I wanted to ask you something.”

He puts his hands on his hips. “I never dry clean. It’s a waste of money.”

“That’s good to know, but that’s not what I was going to ask. What do you find so captivating about Shasta?”

He wrinkles his forehead at my question. “What do you mean?”

“Besides the obvious, what do men find irresistible about her? Why would you want to sleep with her?”

“So, you don’t think I’m gay?”

Rolling my eyes, I say, “I know you’re not. Just answer my questions.” His face lights up.

He shrugs and gazes thoughtfully out the window overlooking the cemetery. “I don’t know. Women like her remind me of Christmas lights. They’re pretty to look, even fun to twist into different configurations above your bed, but they’re a bitch to drag out of the house and a pain in the ass to get rid of. Plus, once the novelty of Christmas wears off, they’re passé. You want them out of your sight.”

Astonished by his reasoning and that he actually put thought into it, I stammer, “What the hell, Rod?”

He looks at me again. “Why are you asking?” He purses his lips as his good-humored mood slips down a notch. “Do you think Wilder is cheating on you?”

“No. I just wanted to know. That’s all. She’s beautiful. Why haven’t you asked her out?”

He looks at the door. “She’s not really my type. She seems like she could kick my ass. I don’t find that a turn-on in a date.”

I giggle. “I think it’s because she thinks you’re gay.”

“Fuck.” He sighs. “That, too.”

CHAPTER 23

I take a seat at a table in the building’s small cafeteria. My grade school’s cafeteria was bigger than this room with the mint green walls and grey linoleum floors. There is a TV hanging from the ceiling in the corner showing Finn’s station, but since he won’t be on the Air, I don’t pay attention to the broadcast.

I check my phone again, but don’t expect to hear anything from him, and I’m right. I don’t. That’s fine because I actually don’t want to hear his apologies for walking out last night or his arguments for wanting me to go on the Pill now.

I keep thinking about last night. He was going to risk it again last night…for me, but then he told me for a second time that he wants me to go on the Pill, which he’s so against…or he used to be. Not only does his not wanting to have a family bother me, but also does his sudden about-face in his beliefs. Why couldn’t he pick something else to make a U-turn for? Preferably something that involves Finn making a more substantial commitment to me.

“So, tell me about your weekend.” Morgan says, taking a seat across from me at the dark brown, rectangular table.

“You tell me about yours first.”
Mine will make your head hurt
.

She unzips her lunch bag and takes out a bowl. “We went to Ivan’s parents’ house. We spent the whole time talking about wedding plans, much to the boredom of Ivan and his dad. I picked my colors!  Silver and blue.”

“Cool! What shade of blue?” I open my strawberry yogurt and shove my spoon into it.

“Light. Beachy, I guess.” I nod. “We’re getting married at Virginia Beach. We already booked the hotel and the wedding package too, so we’re good.”

“That short notice?”

“Yep. I can be very persuasive. I picked doubles of all the extras, so they were very accommodating.”

“Wow.”

“Your room is already reserved. You’ll have to share one with Rod. Sorry.”

I tilt my head and narrow my eyes. “Ha. Ha.”

“That would be rather hilarious, but I think it would enrage your boyfriend. Do you know if Finn will be coming with you?”

I twirl a stray strand of hair with my left hand before I take a bite of my pink gloop. “I don’t know yet, but he made a comment last night about wanting to. It still surprises me that he said he would if he doesn’t have to work.”

“How was your weekend with him? Did you get time alone even with his mom and stepdad hanging around you?”

“Some.” I flinch before announcing, “They’re getting divorced.”

She sets down her fork as her eyes widen. “What? Oh, no! That’s…not good.”

“I know. He flipped out.”

She picks up her fork and spears a tomato from her salad. “Why can’t things ever work in your favor? Damn!”

“Tell me about it. We talked and he calmed down somewhat. I told him that I’ll move in with him.”

She swallows hurriedly. “You what? Hadley! Why?”

I reach for my can of Sprite, but pause in surprise. “
That’s
not the reaction I thought you’d have.”

“I thought it was so refreshing for you to hold your own and not give in to what everyone else wants you to do. I was behind you. Why’d you give in?”

Picking my spoon back up, I confess, “I miss him, Morgan. I don’t think he’s ever going to give in, so I had to. I really want to be with him even if he doesn’t want to get married.”

“Okay. I just… I don’t know. I’m just a little worried that you’re giving up more than what he’s willing to ever do for you.”

“I’m taking it all into consideration. I want us to be together though.”

She sets her fork down and looks at me. “I support you, no matter what. I want you to know that.”

I smile. “Thank you. I appreciate it. I do need your support.”

Grinning, she says, “You have it. You always will.”

I reach for my sandwich. “We actually had a nice weekend. We spent time at Bethany’s on the beach, saw some lighthouses and he took me to his high school. He gave me his varsity baseball jacket and class ring.” I sigh, smiling dreamily. “Isn’t that adorable?”

She giggles and nods. “That is!
Finn Wilder
did that?”

I giggle with her. “Yes. It was so sweet and I loved every second of it.” I slap my hand on the table. “Oooh! Did you see his dare?”

“Oh, shit! No! What did he do?”

“Get ready for this. He got a big heart padlock wrapped in a rosary chain tattooed on his chest, near his heart, to go with my key necklace. It also has
Becks
on it.”

She excitedly gasps, slamming her apple juice bottle down. “His dare that he showed on his segment was of him getting a tattoo with your nickname on it?” I nod and she shakes her head. “Holy shit, Hadley! He tattooed your name on his heart. Really?”

“Yep. He did. I still have a hard time believing it.”

“I’ll have to watch that when we go upstairs. I can’t believe I didn’t watch it! I DVR’d it, but forgot! I’m sorry!”

“That’s okay. I was blown away too.”

“Do you think that means he might be changing his mind about marrying you? A tattoo is pretty permanent.”

“Hopefully, so am I!” I laugh and then frown. “I doubt he’ll ever ask me to marry him, so I’m going to just have to accept it.”

Morgan taps animatedly on the table. “Oh! I know! Why don’t you propose to him after the reception or the next morning? Maybe on the beach?”

I shrink away from her suggestion. “I don’t know. What if he doesn’t like that? What if he even says no?” I don’t know what I’d do then. The car ride home would definitely be awkward.

Her eyes fill with sympathy. “Then he’s not for you, Hadley. It’s as simple as that. If he can’t accept your proposal when you’re actually asking him with a ring, then it’s his loss. Let him go. That would definitely be the deal breaker for me. If he turns you down, cut him loose.”

I stare down at my half-eaten ham and cheese. “You make it sound so easy. I couldn’t just break up with him, Morgan, especially since he tattooed my damn nickname on himself.”

“Even if he turned you down?”

I raise my head to look at her. “Even then… I think.” Damn it. My indecisiveness can be worse than Finn Wilder’s.

“What’s wrong? You’re not telling me something.”

I’ve told Rod about Finn telling me to go on the Pill, but that’s not something I can tell Morgan since she already thinks I’m on it. So, I need to tread carefully.

“Finn and I had an argument.”

“About? Getting married?”

I grimace. “Worse.”

Her eyes amplify. “Getting pregnant?”

I give her a slight nod. “Yes. I asked him to have a baby with me.” I shrug and look out the window. “He said no.” That’s putting it mildly.

“Without a discussion?”

“Oh, there was a discussion.”

She dubiously scoffs, “He just outright said no?”

“Yep. We even argued again last night about it.”

“Go off the Pill anyway.” Both Morgan and Simone have told me that. What the hell?

I return my focus to her. “You and I have talked about this, Morgan. I could never deceive him like that. If he truly doesn’t want a baby, then why would I saddle him with one? And why would I want to share that with him when his heart isn’t in it? I’d just be asking for trouble and heartbreak for us both. I can’t and won’t do that.”

She regards me contemplatively. “You’ve really thought about this.”

I nod and sigh. “Inside out.”

“Maybe you should move on then. If you really want to have a baby and he’s unwilling to give you one, it might be time for you to part ways with him and find someone that will give you what you want,
willingly
.”

I shake my head and prop my cheek on my hand, fighting tears. “I can’t. I love him. I want to marry
him
, not anyone else. I want
his
baby, not anyone else’s.”

Morgan puts her hand across the table and I glance down at it. “I know. I’m only trying to give you suggestions. I do know how much you love him, Hadley. I hate seeing you like this, though.” I slide my hand over and grab hers. She squeezes mine and lets go. “Since your argument, have you talked about it?”

“After our argument last night, he walked out on me while I was in the shower.”

Shocking her again, she probes, “Are you fucking serious? Did he come back?”

I shrug. “Probably, but I went home to my apartment while he was out. I haven’t talked to him yet. He’s in West Virginia today until Thursday.” I wonder if he’s supposed to be home sooner. He’s probably taking an extra day to check out his beloved bridge while he’s in the same state, not surprising me in the least. I hope he gets out of the car and gives the bridge a big, fat kiss, and then a middle finger from me.

“He hasn’t called you?”

“No. He was driving this morning with coworkers, so maybe he’s waiting until he’s alone later.”

“Good afternoon, hoochies!” Rod throws his brown bag down next to me, sets a can of pop on the table and noisily pulls out the chair. Two women, who work in the accounting firm in our building, frown at him from a table nearby, which is the usual expression he draws from people in the cafeteria. Anywhere, in fact.

I notice he’s now wearing a light gray dress shirt and a black tie with various white musical notes.

“Where’ve you been?” Morgan huffs.

“I had some things to take care of, Morgasm. Why? Did you miss me?”

“Like hemorrhoids.” She looks at me. “Did he tell you I caught him stealing from Crick’s desk?”

I scowl as he pulls out his smashed sandwich. “He failed to mention that part.”

Unwrapping his flat sandwich, he argues, “I only stole his ruler.”

I laugh in disbelief. “You stole a
ruler
?”

He gestures aimlessly with the hand that is holding his sad sandwich. “Yeah. Why’s that asshole get one when I never did in my Welcome-to-the-Club kit?”

“So now the poor guy is an asshole?” Morgan irritably questions him.

“You bet your overactive ovaries. He’s an asshole because of his obnoxious name and he’s an asshole because he’s getting special perks.”

I dubiously laugh. “Really, Rod. Perks? Again, a ruler?”

“Do you have a ruler?”

“Yes.”

“Then shut your hole. I rest my case.”

Morgan groans. “Can you please put that peanut butter and jelly sandwich out of its misery?”

“As you wish, Mortuary.” He takes a huge, disgusting bite and chews with his mouth open at her. She frowns before she stretches and kicks him from underneath the table, but he anticipated it and quickly moves his legs out of her line of fire.

He asks with a mouthful, “Did you put your name suggestions into the box in the kitchen?”

I shake my head and look away from him. “Eww. No. I’m blank. Dare I ask if you did?”

He happily nods as he swallows. “Oh, I did indeed. What do we win if our name is picked?”

Morgan says, “I don’t think you need to worry about that.”

“Hey! I have some good ones!”

I laugh. “
Bat Shit Crazies
?”

He grabs his bag and pulls out a bag of chips. “That’s my favorite! You’re just in a bad mood because you’re missing your new roommate.”

I watch him with equal parts of fascination and revulsion as he scarfs chips with one hand and snaps open his can using the other. “I don’t know if he wants me to live with him now after walking out. I took all my things with me, so he had to have noticed that this morning or last night. Whichever.”

Morgan waves her hand. “Please. I bet he’s panicking. He just doesn’t want to hear you tell him how stupid he was last night.”

“My dad doesn’t want me to move in with him.”

Rod stops shoveling his food. “What?”

Morgan asks, “Why?”

I look at the two of them and feel like a little girl complaining about her strict father. “He said he’s old-fashioned. He wants us to be married first.”

Rod looks utterly confused. “Married? Who you and your
dad
?”

I roll my eyes. “No, Rod! Jeez.” Now he sounds like Ricky.

I continue, “He then gave me a guilt trip about me being his parents’ only granddaughter and how he’d like to walk me down the aisle before he dies.”

Morgan states, “That’s harsh.”

“Like I need pressure from him! I already feel enough pressure from myself and from people who make comments about me dating him for so long and not getting married, and then conversely, for not living with him. It’s ridiculous! I can’t freaking win!”

Suddenly out of nowhere, I hear Finn’s deep voice. I look around the room and Morgan says, “Finn’s on TV.” His spot at Chimborazo Park is on during the commercial break. He’s wearing his red polo shirt which is opened two buttons, and he’s holding onto the railing next to him. His streaked hair is waving in the breeze and he’s grinning, his sparkling teeth gleaming in the sun as he charmingly talks to the camera. I wonder if this was shot before or after I showed up at the park. It’s still after our lunch time together, so he does look thoroughly fucked. It’s also right before he left to get his tattoo. That makes me smile at that thought floating around in his head right then.