Dangerous (4 page)

“Jules,” I said, as soon as she answered.

“Amy?”

I smiled. I didn’t want her to hear the fear in my voice. She’d already worried about me enough for one lifetime. “What time do you get off tonight?”

She paused. “Why?”

“Remember last night? I dragged you home early so I could get an early night before going back to work?”

“Uh-huh?”

“Well, tonight’s not going to be an early night. You in?”

She laughed. “Are you sure? I know the doctors released you, but you had a pretty serious injury.”

“I’ve never been surer.” It might not be the healthiest course of action, but I was pretty sure I’d go crazy if I didn’t find a way to switch my brain off.

I ended the call and strolled through the lobby, realizing that I might never see the inside of that building again. It wasn’t like I had any special affection for it, but I’d spent a significant portion of the last five years inside its walls. And I hadn’t been prepared for that to change.

I couldn’t remember where I’d seen it, but I remembered some quote about how you had to hit rock bottom before you could come back fighting and change your life for the better. I snorted, getting the attention of a bunch of suits standing near the revolving doors. I ignored them.

I’d hit rock bottom alright. I just wondered when I’d start coming back from the depths.

Ryan

I closed the door behind me and shuffled to the refrigerator, not even bothering to turn on the light. I didn’t need to see where I was going. In fact, it made me happier not to see: my apartment was a fucking dive. It wasn’t even in a nice neighborhood. I didn’t care. Nothing much mattered to me anymore. I had a bed to sleep in and a TV to watch sport on—those were the only things I needed. It had been a long day—all I wanted was a cold beer.

“Ryan.”

I twisted around to where the voice had come from. My apartment was tiny: the kitchen sat in a little alcove to the left of the front door; the living area to the right. That’s where I looked. In the dim light from the window, I saw a figure sitting on the couch. I didn’t need to see him, though; I recognized his voice. I’d recognize it anywhere: the cold, gravelly monotone with just the slightest hint of a foreign accent even though he’d lived here for all but four years of his life.

“Max. Couldn’t you have called?” I said, pulling out two beers.

I slammed the refrigerator door closed and walked toward him, switching on the overhead light as I did so.

He shook his head. “You don’t seem pleased to see me.”

I sat in the chair opposite him and watched him. Some guys were all about the bluster; the confrontation. Me? I watched. I waited. And while I waited, I painted a complete picture of the situation in my mind that the other guys often never even glimpsed.

Max hadn’t changed much since the last time I saw him. He was more filled out, even though I was willing to bet that the majority of his bulk was still solid muscle. He wasn’t the kind of guy who reached the top and then sat back on his throne. No, he still got his hands dirty.

“It’s been a while.”

He nodded. “I’ve had some other projects on the go. How you been? Working much?”

“Here and there,” I said, running my hand through my hair. “Did anyone see you come in here?”

He snorted. “I don’t remember you being this paranoid.”

“I’m not paranoid. Just you with your… your empire-building. I’d prefer to keep my name out of the papers and my ass out of jail.”

“Oh come on, man. What about that brother of yours? He’ll get you out.”

I bristled at the mention of Jason. I wasn’t like those guys you saw on the TV shows—for me, at least, this certainly wasn’t a family affair. “We haven’t spoken in years. As you well know.”

He shook his head. “I wasn’t thinking.”

I shrugged. “Mind if I put on the game?”

His eyes narrowed. “I need to talk to you about something.”

I sighed and threw my head back. “And I’d like to watch the game. It’s been a long day.”

“Ryan.”

I dropped the remote back onto the side table beside me. I’d known him for almost my whole life; that made it easy to forget who he was and what he was capable of.

“I have a job for you.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah.”

I shook my head. It had been almost a year since I’d last worked for Max. Things had changed since then—now, I was more of a specialist. I was the guy they called in when no one else could be trusted with the job.

Max frowned. “What is it?”

“I’m sorry, Max. I’ve moved on. Unless it’s a special case—”

“I need you, Ryan. You’re the best.”

“Max, you’ve got dozens of guys.”

“Sure,” he said, with a shrug. “But none as good as you are.”

“None as expensive as me either, I bet.”

He glanced around my apartment, his eyebrow raised. “Oh? I kinda figured you’d gotten out.”

“Not everyone needs a trophy wife and a house in the Hamptons.”

He frowned. “You could have everything; a man with your talents. Instead you choose to live like a monk. Why is that?”

“Max,” I said, leaning forward. “You say this every time I see you. Every fucking time.”

He shook his head, looking at me with something like pity in his eyes.

I narrowed my eyes in warning.

“Ryan, I—”

“No,” I said, starting to push myself off the seat. “We’re not doing this.”

He held his hand up. “I’m sorry. It’s just… It’s been a long time, man. I’d like to see you happy.”

“I am happy.”

He raised an eyebrow. “You can’t lie to me, you know.”

I glared at him. “You came here to ask me to do a job. I told you I charge too much now. Specialist jobs only. Now, you can drink a beer with me in silence, or you can—”

“Money’s not an issue,” he interrupted.

I rolled my eyes. “Max, you don’t under—”

“Triple your usual rate per,” he said, as calmly as if he were reciting his mom’s shopping list.

I looked from the blank TV to him, not sure if I’d heard him right. “What the fuck do you want me to do?” I asked. “Take out a football team?”

He shook his head. “No. Simple. Three former associates of my associate.”

“There has to be something you’re not telling me.”

He shook his head.

“Max,” I said, taking another mouthful of beer. “Explain this to me. No one drops cash like that unless there are serious risks involved.”

“Well,” he said, eyes twinkling like he was in on a secret that nobody else had heard yet. “Maybe not in the minor leagues.”

“You’ve never been minor league, Max.”

“True. Well let’s just say, my new client has money to burn and enough thirst for blood to make both of us very rich.”

“I don’t care about money.”

He
tsked
like I’d just insulted his mother. “What do you care about, Ryan? Huh? It’s been ten years.”

“Max,” I said, my voice full of warning.

He sighed. “When’s the last time you had a woman?”

I shrugged. “I’ve had plenty of women.”

“I don’t mean whores and drunken co-eds.” He pulled an envelope from the concealed pocket of his cashmere coat and threw it on the table before standing up.

I rolled my eyes. “
Please
. You’re trying to sell me marriage and suburbia now? Really? The guy who’s barely thirty-five and been through two divorces already?”

He shrugged, a slight smile appearing on his lips. “I’m just saying. There’s a lot to be said for having someone to come home to every night. It can’t be healthy, you being alone like this all the time.”

I set my jaw. “It’s overrated.”

Too much risk.

He looked at me strangely for a couple moments, not saying anything. I was sure he was going to keep nagging me, but he didn’t. He pointed at the envelope on the table.

“Call me when it’s done. And Ryan?”

I frowned. There was something about him; a nervousness I’d never seen in him before. He stood to leave before I could think any more of it.

“Hey, Maxy,” I said, as he reached the door.

“Yeah?”

“Don’t come around here no more. Okay? I mean that.”

He nodded. “We’ll talk.”

I pulled the envelope across the table toward me. I peeled back the flap and slid out the paper from inside. I glanced at the picture and the half-page of printed text underneath. I sighed. The rate had excited me, but Max had been right. There was nothing exciting about this job. Just some guys who’d pissed off the wrong people.

I stood and went to the kitchen, pulling a lighter from the utensil drawer. I glanced over the text and memorized the face once more. Then I clicked the lighter and held it to the corner of the paper, watching as it quickly went up in flames in the sink. I watched it burn bright and quickly die, leaving a delicate slate-gray sheet that fell apart when I touched it. I turned on the faucet and waited until the water had washed away all trace of the page.

How many other guys were doing the exact same thing that moment? I couldn’t say I cared. I didn’t care about the effect on society of what I did. I didn’t care about the morality. I didn’t care about anything.

I padded back to the couch and turned on the TV. There was a reason I didn’t fear anyone or anything. I was a blank slate. I was already dead, so what else could they do to me?

Ryan

I’d never admit it to anyone, but Max’s appearance in my apartment had rattled me. I didn’t know why. The pay was higher than my current rate. And the guys were nobodies. It was easy money for me.

But there was something bugging me; something I couldn’t identify.

Our conversation played over and over in my mind after he left, until I just couldn’t stand it. I had to get away. Kind of a problem when you have no place else to go.

I settled on Tully’s, not really caring that it was the third night in a row that I’d found myself in that dive. No wonder the bartender was trying to make friends. Yeah, well; it wasn’t like I could go round to a buddy’s house for a beer and a chat. Max was the closest friend I had, and we weren’t exactly the kinda guys who lived in each other’s pockets.

I pushed the door open and sighed with relief when I saw that it was half-empty. It was one of those neighborhood dives that was never really full. It had its fair share of hipster transplants, but the area was still too sketchy for them to come in huge numbers.

I shuffled to the end of the bar and took the same seat as I usually did: the most isolated one in the dimmest area of the bar.

“Hey buddy, you want the usual?”

I nodded and tried to smile; I didn’t have the energy. I knew it looked more like a snarl than anything. Well, fuck it. I didn’t care.

“Busy day at the office?” he asked, opening my beer.

I shrugged. “Same as always.”

The ancient door squeaked open and I noticed with a start that it was the same two chicks from the night before. I checked my reaction immediately.

Why is my heart racing?

I took a swig of my beer and watched as they made their way to the bar. It was almost empty, apart from one or two small groups scattered among the rickety tables. I pretended to be engrossed in my beer as they came closer and closer.

I’d forgotten all about Max now. I didn’t know why my heart was beating so fast. I kept my eyes on the bar in front of me as they sat down five or six seats away and ordered beers and chasers. I couldn’t help but tune into their conversation—they weren’t exactly trying to keep the volume low.

I glanced up. They were sitting in the same positions as the previous day; the petite brunette with the bandage faced me. I realized with a jolt that her eyes were all red and swollen, as if she’d been crying. She didn’t look sad now, though; she seemed on top of the world. Out of nowhere, I felt a tug of something. Desire mixed with something else. It had been so long since I felt that was that it took me a while to identify it.

Finally, it dawned on me. With a sinking heart, I realized I’d felt that feeling before. It was protectiveness. Possessiveness.

I reached up and ran my palm across my forehead, alarmed to find it clammy with sweat. Who was this woman and why the hell was she setting off this reaction in me?

Run.

It was my first thought; the first thing my brain told me to do.

But my limbs didn’t listen. It was like something else in me was calling the shots. I shook my head. No. I swore I wouldn’t do this.

Yeah, Ryan, you’ve sworn a lot of things.

I closed my eyes. I’d gone there to get away from the silence in my apartment and now this was happening? I wasn’t sure, but it felt like I was going out of my mind. I realized I was staring at her. I looked away quickly, but not before she caught my eye and flashed me a smile that was at once sweet and sinful.

My heart soared and then sank.

What the fuck?

I told myself to get up and get the hell out of there, but my legs felt like lead. I stayed there, rooted to the spot. She was going to get me in trouble, I knew. I just knew. No good came from this. None. It was better to stay alone. I’d decided that a long time ago. But no one had ever tested my resolve. Until now.

The bartender gestured over to see if I wanted another beer, and I found myself nodding.