Damned (8 page)

I have never seen James let me go so fast in the entire time we have known each other; he steps back, putting his hands up.

“I didn’t mean to.”

“You do as she say
s or I will find you, hunt you down and kill you. I have no intentions of running off with her, don’t worry your pretty head about it.”

“I get it, I will not say anything,” James stammers. “I swear.”

“Very good, now run along. Oh, and if you ever touch her again, I will blow your fucking brains out.”

James turns and hurries off, not looking back. I keep my stance against the wall; I can feel blood easing down the back of my neck. The damn man has split my head open. Jax shoves the gun into his pants and grasps me, spinning me around to reveal my bloody head.

“Fucking hell.”

“It will heal, I have to go.” I mutter, pulling away from him.

“What was that stunt you pulled back there?” He snaps, glaring at me. His glare frightens me, but I am not backing down.

“Leave me alone, you will not be seeing me again. I know what you want now. You pretended to be my friend, but you are not. I see you with all the other girls; I will not be one of them. I know your rules, so I am cutting it off. Leave me alone pirate, I am not interested in being a mouse in your trap.”

He runs his hands through his hair and leans against the wall. “I never lied about what I was; I also never lied when I said I enjoy hanging out with you.  I told you to go home, because if I didn’t, I would have slammed you so hard you would have torn in two. You are a virgin, which means it is a gentle process the first time you fuck. You were also right; I was not going to take you on the damned dirt.”

“How noble of you, so a bed is ok then? I am not interested in involving myself in that painful act.” I say defiantly, folding my arms.

“It isn’t painful when done right.”

“I don’t care. Go away and leave me be.”

“Jade, stop being so difficult.”

“LEAVE.” I scream, shoving him out the gate. I slam and lock it before he can open it.

“Open the fuckin gate.”

I turn and walk off. He can sweat it out. When I get into the house, the maid comes rushing over.

“The king and queen called, they said they have further meetings. They won’t be home for another night.”

“Thanks.” I smile, not so warmly.

“Can I get you anything? Perhaps some breakfast?” She offers, pretending not to notice what I am wearing. Her eyes widen at some blood splatters on my shirt. “Are you hurt, princess?”

“No, my horse grazed himself, and I ended up covered in his blood.”

“Right, so breakfast?”

“Just toast and juice please, maybe some coffee.”

“I will bring it right up.”

“Thank you.” I force a smile and stand there until she reluctantly turns and walks out, then I make my way upstairs.

I ignore the constant ringing sound, coming from my pocket. I throw the phone into a nearby paper bin, knowing I will fish it out later. I nibble on the toast that the maid brings up, but my stomach is in knots. I shove the tray aside and try hard not to think about Jax. My heart aches and I know I should get out, but I just cannot seem to distance myself from him. The little bedside phone rings, I know only my parents have that number so I answer it.

“Hello?”

“Jade? Where have you been?” My mother’s voice growls across the phone.

“I have been with my horses.”

“For an entire night? I have been trying to contact you for hours on end, and your phone is off.”

“I went to bed early. I don’t have to be at your beck and call mother.”

“You selfish little witch, I am at my wit’s end with your obnoxious attitude. You know what, do not bother, I am not even going to discuss this with you. For once in your life, I am putting my foot down. You will be told the news when I return tomorrow.”

Then, she hangs up. My mother actually hung up on me. My mouth falls open in shock and surprisingly, I feel a little hurt. The stress from the past few days finally releases and tears cascade down my face, I slide down my door and begin sobbing like a small child. I hiccup and sob, continuing this little pattern until I cannot find any more tears to shed.

I hear a rattling noise outside my window, is someone trying to get in? The noise grows louder and louder. My window slides open and I scream. Jax climbs in; his hair is all disheveled, and his shirt is dirty. How did he get in here? I am still screaming, so he puts his hands up and steps forward.

“It’s just me.”

“What the hell.” I screech.

“Jade? Is everything ok?” A voice carries through my door; it is the maid.

“I am fine, I just…slipped.”

“Are you hurt?”

“No, thank you.”

I wait until I hear footsteps and then turn back to Jax, who is staring intently at me.

“Are you crying?”

I do not answer. He walks over and kneels before me, taking my face in his hands. He runs a finger over my no doubt puffy, red eyes and winces.

“Aw shit, don’t cry darlin.”

“Go away.” I mutter.

“Don’t be like that; I came to talk to you.”

“There is nothing to talk about. You don’t want me, end of story. You made that clear when you sent me away.”

“I didn’t send you off because I didn’t want you.” He mutters, impatiently.

“I don’t care because I don’t want you. Go and find your kicks elsewhere. I do not want this, nor do I need it. I am a princess; seriously, get it through your head.”

“I know what you are, you do want this, and I am not leaving.”

I pull my head out of his grips and stand, stalking to my bed. “You shouldn’t be here, so why are you?”

He stares at me then, with a green intensity in his eyes that makes my breathing deepen.

“You wanted something today, and with all your fire, you went at it all wrong. I am here to put it all right.”

I swallow, does he mean what I think he means?

“I am not interested.”

“Quit it, I am not listening to you banter on all night. You want this, and I am here, willing to give it to you. Now I ask once more, because if you say no again, I will leave and your chance will be gone. Do you want me to have sex with you or not?”

Well, when you put it like that…

“Really? You think it is that simple. I know you only want me for that; then it will be all over, and all this will have been a waste of time.”

“No, it won’t. I am not going to ditch you Jade, I am not a pig.”

“I am not so sure about that.”

“I have waited about for you, and if you do not want this, I will not push. Tonight I am yours, what is it going to be? Do you want me to fuck you or not? If you say no, I will leave and this will end. I do not play games.” His voice is heated and deadly serious. I know somewhere deep inside that I want this, with him.

“Yes.” I whisper.

His eyes widen. “There are conditions.”

I snort. “Conditions?”

“One, don’t fall in love with me. Two, you do as I ask the whole time. Three, I want it every night.”

I laugh nervously. “You can’t be serious?”

“Deadly.”

“Fine, I have my own conditions then.”

He grins wickedly. “Shoot.”

“I can’t make it every night, so every second night. And if I am coming to you that often, I don’t want you having sex with others.”

He raises an eyebrow. “You don’t want me having sex with anyone else?”

“No, not if you want me often. If you do not agree, then we do it tonight and it ends. You can go back to your whoring.”

“Fine, I won’t touch another woman, IF, you keep up my conditions.”

“Do you swear?”

“I swear.”

“What do you mean I have to do as you say throughout? You are not going to whip me or something, are you? I have read that book you know, the dirty one.”

Amusement flicks across his expression. “I won’t whip you baby girl, but I have certain things I like.”

“Like what?”

“Just things.”

“You better tell me pirate, or it won’t happen.”

“I like to be hurt.”

“Pardon?”

“Hurt.”

“You want me to hurt you, while we…”

“Yeah, I want you to hurt me as much as you can.”

“Ok…that’s not normal, you do know that?” I say, in a shaky voice. It is scary and yet…something inside me flares to life at the thought of kinky sex.

“I know mate, it’s just a thing. All the women I fuck have no issue with it, do you?”

“If I do, then what?”

“I won’t come.”

I blink. “Excuse me; I touched you with my hands the other night.”

“Yeah, that is not sex.”

“So, it’s only for sex?”

He growls. “Sex is a powerful act. I need the extra kick.”

I look down at my fingers; do I want to do this?

“If you can’t handle it, say no, and we will end this.”

“H-how do you want me to hurt you?”

“I am not going to ask horrid things of you Jade. If you bite, scratch or pinch me, it will be sufficient.”

“Um, ok.”

“Are you sure you can handle it? I won’t hurt you; I do not do that unless women consent to it.”

“Wait, it goes both ways?”

“If they want it, yeah.”

I gasp. “Do you like hurting them?”

He looks sheepish. “I don’t mind it.”

“You like hurting women?”

“Not harshly.”

“You have problems Jax, really.”

“I said you don’t have to.”

“Ok, can I have a second, please?”

He rolls his eyes and plonks down onto the bed, staring at me.

“I can deal with hurting you, but I don’t want you to hurt me.”

“I can deal with that.”

“Ok, well can we do this?”

I blush at my next thought. “I felt the size of that thing. We won’t fit.”

“We will fit.”

“What if I don’t like it?”

“You will.”

“What if I don’t?”

“God but you are a stubborn shit. If you don’t like it, the deals off.” He yells, throwing his hands up.

“Good.”

“Are you finished now, because I’d like to fuck you?”

“Do you have to put it so rudely?”

“I am not going to say making love, I don’t make love. I am not going to say I am going to sex you, because that just sounds childish. I am going to fuck you, can you deal with me or not princess? I swear, I fuck, and I am a pirate. The choice is yours; say no now because once I start, you are not leaving.”

I blush and nod. It is the best I can do. He steps forward then, grasping his shirt and tossing it off. Then he pauses and glances at me, as if he wants to ask something.

“What?” I whisper.

“Are you on birth control?”

“Pardon?”

“Are you? I don’t fuck anybody bareback, but I want to with you.”

“Y-yes I am.”

“No babies?”

“No.”

“Magic.”

“Wait,” I say, putting my hand on his chest. “What is bareback?”

He laughs. “You’re going to be fun. It means no protection.”

I blush. “Oh. What about diseases?”

He cocks an eyebrow. “I said I haven’t fucked anyone bareback…which means I have none.”

“What about oral sex?”

He sighs and rolls his eyes. “What about it?”

“I am sure women have put their mouths on you, bareback.”

He looks impressed by my new words. “I don’t let women suck me bareback. I always put a condom on.”

I scrunch up my nose. “That’s just disgusting.”

“You asked.”

“Well…I am sure you have…put your mouth on women.”

“Any woman I pick up at a bar is just sex, end of story. I do not play nice, or stroke, I just fuck. The few women I have done that to, were my girlfriends, and they did not have diseases.”

“How do you know?” I ask. “And I thought you didn’t do girlfriends.”

He growls but answers me. “They were virgins Jade, and I have had a few girlfriends before.”

“So I am not good enough to be your girlfriend?” I hear the pain in my voice, and he obviously does too.

“Baby, you are a princess. You cannot be any more than you are. I told you, I am done with relationships because I got burnt. They were all before I became the way I am now. I have not had a girlfriend since my wife, end of story.”

I swallow and look down; his words hurt. “Ok.”

“Don’t look like that, you are killing me.”

“It doesn’t matter, let’s keep going.”

He raises an eyebrow, then steps forward and takes my jaw in his hand and kisses me passionately. “If I was not screwed up the way I am and had not been burnt, you would undoubtedly be a girl…I would fall madly in love with.”