Damned

Damned
             
Bec Botefuhr

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I would firstly like to thank my husband, without him, this book would have never been finished. For his time, love and patience through my writers blocks and my hours of fixing work. He is my rock; he made this real for me.

I would like to extend th
anks to a wonderful friend, Crei
na Woods. She helped me feel my characters, she taught me to know them as well as I know myself. She helped shape my book and gave me an understanding of how to write.

I cant forget my right hand woman, Charmaine Mathews. She spent hours and hours reading my novels and gave me nothing but honest opinions on my story. She made this possible.

Last but certainly not least, my family. My mum especially, for never giving up on me and for believing I could do this, for encouraging me and giving me the strength to keep going when things were down.

This is for you Craig, my husband, my bad boy.

DAMNED

They say time heals all wounds;
I personally think time is a more like a bandaid. A nice protective cover for
ones
wounds; a film that tricks
ones
minds into thinking we feel better, that things will be ok. What happens though, when the film is removed? Are wounds truly healed or are we just as vulnerable as we were before? If time healed all wounds, then why whe
n past hurts are mentioned
; do we fall into a silent depression, explode with rage or become defensive? Then we move onto making a list of excuses as to why it happened or go on and on about how we are so totally over it.
A reaction of any sort, means that we are, in fact, not over it.
If time healed everything, then why do people still hurt?

PROLOGUE

“Jade, you need to wake up now please.”

I hear my mother
s irritated voice and feel her cold hands nudging my cheeks. I roll over and grunt at her
;
it is too damn cold to get out of bed.

“Later.” I mutter.

“Don’t grumble at me, you are a princess, not a pauper. Now get out of your bed.”

I sit up, glaring at her through bleary eyes. “I am tired of doing these foolish parades.”

“Don’t say that word, you sound like someone raised in a gutter.”

I snort.

“Don’t snort, it
i
s not
flattering. Goodness
, we raised you
better than this.”

I roll my eyes
,
and she stands with her arms folded glaring at me. Her lovely eyes narrow in disappointment. Her pert little nose turns up with the arrogance all royalty held. My mother is beautiful for her age. She and I look very
much alike; with
light brown hair, olive skin and light eyes. The only difference between us; is that my eyes are light blue
,
and hers are green.

“Ok, I will get up.” I finally give in, throwing my hands in the air.

“Dress nicely, I do not wish to see another photo in the paper of you getting around in your bikini.
”
She says,
repulsion changes her expression to a look of pure dissatisfaction.

“Excuse me mother but I was on palace grounds, people should
no
t be snooping.
Before we know it
, I will have a photo in the media of me shower
ing; gods forbid the
princess showers naked
. Raise the alarms.
”

“Enough,
” She snaps, horrified “Stop this attitude Jade
;
you have an impression to make, and you
a
re not doing a fine job at it.”

“Ok.” I whine, sliding out of bed.

“Your
eyes are dark, why are they dark? You look as though
you
a
re
on drugs.”

“Something to do with your wonderful neighbors keeping me up all night,
will
you tell them to keep it down?”

She wrinkles her perfect nose. “They are pirates, I refuse to try and argue with them. Last time I made a complaint, they…they threw eggs at me.” The look on her face is priceless
;
I cough to
stifle a laugh. My mother is far
too formal for her own good.

“Why are there pirates runni
ng a bar next to a palace
?
I was under the impression they were to be hung on the spot or, I don’t know, burnt alive.
”

“They have an arrangement with someone special...I suspect the mayor, but I do
no
t accuse anybody, of anything.” She murmurs, with eyes full of uncertainty as she rakes her fingers over her dainty little chin.

“Somebody real special, it seems.” I grumble.

I peer out my window. Just over the walls, I can see the
large pub
next door. Nothing but bush land and trees surround it. It
was built
around six months ago
, situated out of town for all the hooligans
and ferals to come and drink without risking trouble.
A man named Jax
Watts, who is a pirate, runs it
.
Two of my best friends often went over, returning only to say what
an amazing lover he is
. I
,
however, am not allowed
to leave the castle walls. I have never been.

“We just have to stay out of their way.” My mother snaps
,
jerking me from my thoughts.

“I am not allowed to leave mother, how do you suppose I will get in their way?”

“You know why you
cannot
leave. If people find out about your gift, hell will break loose.”

“And how will they find out? I have no need or desire of using it. I am a girl mother, not a prisoner. I want to go out.”

“Your
father forbids it.”

“He would
no
t know what I do, nor would he care.” I say, my voice dropping low.

“He care
s
very much.” Her tone is defensive. She is team Steffan, no matter what he does. It is as though she owes him for something.

You know the dukes daught
ers always sneak off over there?
” Yes, I know it is rude to dob in my best friends but hey, I am trying to make a point.

“They are not my problem love. So long as you do
no
t go anywhere near that place, I do
no
t care.”

“It’s just stupid
, pira
tes living next door to royalty.
That
i
s the worst, most pathetic attempt at a fairy tale I ever heard.”

“Life is not a fairy tale Jade, never has been, never will be. You should know that by now.”

“I bloody well know it alright.” I huff, crossing my arms defensively over my chest.

“There’s that nasty word again, best clean up on your speech before this morning’s meeting.
Your
fat
her has had enough trouble lately
.”

I sigh. “Yes mother.”

It is my lif
e;
yes mother,
no mother, please mother
. I have no life. I am a princess and it certainly is not the white ponies and extravagant parades everyone imagines it to be. I am bored, lonely and desperate for nothing more than to go out and see the world, chains off. I am engaged to a man I do
no
t even like, expected to take over a throne I could
no
t care less about and cannot go out of the house unless only the skin on my face is showing. How I would love to laze about in a bikini, get drunk, cause havoc and do all the things young girls are meant to do.

Not me though, no, I am royalty. End of story.

CHAPTER 1

“Don’t you look wonderful this morning?” My fiancé James murmurs against my hand. I shiver in disgust and turn away with a fake smile. God help me; I never want to marry this man.

“Thank you.”

“Why did you turn away from me?” He asks, offended. I glare into his pale blue eyes
;
he knows exactly why.

“James let’s not pretend this is something it
i
s not. How is
Celeste this morning?” I mutter.

I know very well that James has been sleeping with one of the gardeners. He is madly in love with her
,
but would
no
t give up the opportunity to become royalty by refusing me.

“Mind your mouth girl, you and I may not like this arrangement
,
but it is how it has to be. Now, please play along and be courteous. I am more than tired of your attitude.”

“Aye aye.” I snap, glaring at him.

“You
seriously need to grow up, how your
parents think you can take over a kingdom is beyond me.”

“With your help dear. Of course.” I smile sweetly.

He narrows his eyes and shoots me a glare so severe; I look away. Just in time, here is my father and mother for our morning meeting. My father walks t
owards us, standing at six foot;
he is tall and powerful. He wears nothing but the most expensive suits and designer clothes. He is the essence of Russia, with his golden blonde hair, blue eyes and creamy skin. He is attractive enough, though I have noticed I do
no
t resemble him in any way. Which I never question, many kids do
no
t resemble their fathers, right?

“Good morning James.” My mother smiles, as James kisses her hand.

“Grace, Steffan, lovely to see you both. What do we owe this tremendous pleasure?”

“We would like to discuss the upcoming parade
,
and
it
s announcements.” My father says in a cool, professional voice, indicating that we should sit.

I sit next to James at a nearby table
in the gardens
; the maid promptly serve
s us
tea and scones. Boring. I stare at my father’s expression and immediately become a little worried. He looks serious and sorry for what he is about to say.

“Jade
, you and James
have been engaged for some time now. The people are asking when the wedding will be.”

My chest clenches. “And?”

“I informed them that,
in two month’s time, we will have you both married. After that, I expect
you will
fall pregnant within the year and produce heirs. All your fertility testing has come back well, so I do
no
t see why we should wait.”

“What?” I shriek, standing.

“Jade sit down.” My father orders.

“I am not even twenty years old. I have
no
t lived. I do
no
t want children.”

“You do
no
t get
a choice;
you are royalty
, therefore, the only one able to produce children to carry on the name.”

“NO!”

“Jade, do
no
t defy me. I am about up to my
limits
with your attitude and crude manners. You will do as I say
,
or
I will cut you off
and you can live with nothing.”

“Steffan.” My mother gapes at him.

“Sorry Grace, it is how it has to be. The choice is yours.
If you wish to
remain in our will, to inherit all our money when we pass and gain
your
trust fund in two years, which I might add has more than some people earn in a life time, then you will agree to our terms.”

“You expect me to marry, shag and spit out children with somebody I hardly know?”

“Watch your mouth,” He roars. “Y
ou know James well enough, he is worthy and takes care of you. The choice, lies with you.”

“NO.”

“Then you will feel the consequences for your actions.” He growls, in an icy tone.

“You’re meant to be my father,
does
that matter to you?” I spit at him, before turning and storming off.

I am horrified
; w
ho in the hell do they think they are?
T
hey are treating me like some sort of breeding machine
. My feelings have no place in their world. I storm down to the far gardens, midway there
,
I spot my two best friends sauntering towards me with wicked grins. They are up to something again. Shit.