Damned (22 page)

“YES.” He snaps impaitentley.

“So we will basically just be doing what we were before, back in Russia?”

He closes his eyes. “Yeah, but this time…I won’t run from you.”

“Even though I am in love with you?”

“Even though you…you…”

“You can’t even say it can you?”

He growls. “Even though you love me.”

“Does it bother you that I love you?”

“Does it bother you that I don’t love you?” He snaps.

I sit back, hurt. “Yes.”

“Will it bother you to a point where you won’t continue on?”

“No, not if we can be close and be together. If there are no other women…then I can deal with it.”

“I won’t ever marry you, or give you kids. So what then? When you decide you want those things?”

“I will make the choice when that happens. Will you let me leave, if I want those things?”

He thinks for a long, long moment. “If you really want them, yes, I will let you leave.”

“And be with someone else?”

“And be with someone else.” He says in a clipped tone.

“Fine, I agree.”

He looks at me for a long moment. “Fine.”

“Wait, am I allowed to kiss you whenever I want? Or hold your hand?”

He looks confused. “Um, yeah I guess.”

“Will that be an issue?”

“No, just don’t smother me. I need space.”

I put my hands up. “Fine Jax, have your space. I won’t bother you too often. Can we go to sleep please? This is too much for me in one night.”

He nods and stands, hesitates, then leans down and kisses my head. Then he goes to his bed and slides in. I roll and toss for hours; I think he does too. Around two in the morning, I give up and slide out of bed. I look over, and Jax is laying with his hands behind his head, lightly sleeping. He looks so
gorgeous; I hate that things have to be so complicated. I sneak into the bathroom and run the spa. I hope it doesn’t wake him.

I slide off my clothes and get in; the hot water surrounds me and I moan. I bunch my hair up on the top of my head and sink in. I can’t seem to get comfortable and so I sit up again. I feel such an overwhelming range of emotions at the moment. He wants me, but he doesn’t, that is essentially what he is saying. I will have you when it’s good, but I need space when it’s not. I just wish it was not so complicated. I love him, and I can’t just leave him. So I know I have to take anything I can get.

I don’t realize I am crying until I taste a hint of salt. I swipe my eyes. Stop crying Jade, it is pointless. I see the bathroom door open, and Jax walks in. He looks over at me and tilts his head to the side, then walks over and drops his pants. Oh wow. I blush and look away; I hear him climb in, and he slides down behind me. Wrapping one arm around my waist and the other around my shoulders. He pulls me back to his chest.

“Why you crying?” He asks. His voice makes me shiver.

“You, you’re so complicated.”

“I’m trying.”

I sigh. He is trying. I am sure offering me a chance with him, even though it is small, is huge. I nestle back into him. He is warm and hard everywhere I press my body. I love him so much, the emotion is overwhelming.

“I know,” I finally say. “Thank you.”

He kisses my neck and I close my eyes, enjoying the feeling of his lips trailing over me. He massages my shoulders lightly, then runs his hands down my chest to my stomach.

“You need to get some sleep.”

“MMMMM.” I murmur.

“I am not fucking you again.”

I pout and he flicks my lip with his finger. “Don’t pout at me, you need sleep.”

“Are you going to be this bossy all the time?”

He kisses my neck again. “Most of it.”

“What if I don’t listen?”

I feel him grin against me. “Then you will feel my wrath.”

“OHHH, I’m so scared.”

He snorts and stands, taking me with him. He steps out of the spa and wraps a towel around us befo
re walking back out. He deposit
s me on the bed and runs the towel over that magnificent body. MMMMM. Now this I could watch all day. I lean back on my elbows, completely naked and grin at him.

“Stop that, get to sleep.”

I frown, giving him big puppy dog eyes. He grins. “Sleep.”

“Fine!” I huff, drying myself and rolling under my covers. “I can’t sleep when you are all the way over there.”

“Well, I am not sleeping with you.”

“Issues.” I mumble.

He throws a pillow at me, and I giggle. He gets into the bed beside me and props himself up onto his elbow. I smile warmly at him.

“I will lay here till you fall asleep.”

I grin and lean over to kiss him. His lips are hot. MMMM. Yummy. He flips me over and yanks my back up against his chest and holds me close until I fall into a deep, content sleep.

CHAPTER 11

I wake in the morning with a smile on my face. I peer over at Jax, and he is sound asleep on his back. He looks peaceful when he sleeps, pity I am going to jump on him and ruin that. I climb out of bed and then with a jump, I leap onto him. He wakes up with a Humph. I grin down at him as he blinks to clear his eyes.

“You’re so adorable when you sleep.”

He narrows his eyes. “I have been called many things, adorable is not one of them.”

“Well aren’t I just a first for many things?” I grin.

“That you are. Ah, I gotta…”

“Pee?”

He grins. “Yeah.”

“So it doesn’t help if I do this?” I jump up and land down on his hips.

“Ah, no!”

“Good morning lover.” I laugh kissing him and then sliding off.

He stands and stretches. “You always so cheerful in the morning?”

“MMMM, sometimes.”

“I am having a shower, I won’t be a minute.”

“I am going for a walk to the shop to get some things for breakfast.”

He narrows his eyes. “Order it from room service.”

“I want to make it.” I pout.

“I…”

“Don’t Jax, it is just the shop.”

“Fine, fine.”

I remember then; I only have a cheque for a hundred thousand dollars. Besides, I can’t use my accounts, or I will be tracked. I flush.

“You got no money, do you?” He asks, trying not to grin at my expression.

“Well, I have a hundred grand…just…it’s a cheque.”

He nods to his pants on the floor. “Wallet’s over there.”

I blush. “No it’s ok. We will order in.”

He laughs. “I will be paying for that too Jade.”

I blush even harder and look down. He walks over and lifts my chin. “I don’t mind, honestly.”

“I feel stupid.”

“Don’t. Take it and go. Cook up a storm darlin.”

I smile up at him. “Do you trust me?”

“With my wallet or with my stomach.”

I laugh. “Both.”

He grins down at me. “Then, yeah. I trust both.”

“In that case, credit card coming right up.”

He laughs as he walks into the bathroom. I lean down and take his pants; I shuffle about until I feel his wallet, then I pull it out. I open it and grin at his dri
vers licence. Cute picture Watt
s. I pull out a fifty dollar note and put it down. I see a small light and realize his phone is lit up. Oops I must have pressed it. I look at the screen and see a heap of text messages. Damn Iphones and showing up messages on the screen.

Where’d you go big boy? I was enjoying myself. I have missed fucking you.

Hello? What happened? Jax?  Who was that girl? Are you taken now?

I will see you tomorrow night as planned, won’t I?

Jax?

Sheesh, who was this woman? The blonde from the bar? Did he know her? I glare at the phone. It sounds like somebody he knows. Does he have  a line up here? I go into the bathroom and stand with my hands on my hips, glaring at him. He notices me and sighs.

“What now Jade?”

“Who was that last night?”

“What?”

“The girl, you were…tongue bashing.”

He squints at me and shakes his head. “Just a girl.”

“Really, just a girl? Have you fucked her before?”

He closes his eyes and runs his hands through his wet hair. “Yes Jade, I have. I dated her a while back. End of story.”

“And you are meeting her tonight?”

He looks sharply at me. “Who told you that?”

“Your phone.”

“You fucking went through my phone?”

“No Jax, I was getting your wallet, and the screen lit up. I saw a hundred messages from her.”

“For fucks sake.”

“I am only asking a question.” I snap.

“I was going to meet up with her tonight, I am not now. I will call and let her know. I have fucked her yes, last night I didn’t intend to. I was angry; I kissed her. I wasn’t planning on doing anything more. End of discussion.” He snarls and slams the glass closed.

“Well ok then,” I mumble, throwing my hands in the air. “I am going out.”

He doesn’t answer. I pull on some clothes, shoes and then leave the hotel. It is warm again outside; I have to wonder where we are? I look around for a sign. Washington. We are in D.C? Holy crap. Why in the hell didn’t he tell me? No wonder he is so protective; Keegan is in new york. It is not that far away. Jax knew. Bastard. He said we were months away from America. So he wanted me to stay, even back then? Wow.

I find a corner shop and go in; I pick up some eggs, bacon, mushrooms, tomatoes, toast and juice. Then I begin making my way back to the hotel. I am enjoying the fresh air, the freedom. I have never just walked down a street alone. I spot a gift shop and slip in; I can’t help it. I look through all the key chains and find one with a ship dangling from it. Perfect. I pay the lady and happily begin making my way back.

I am about a hundred or so meters from the hotel when I spot Jack, he is chatting to a younger looking man. I grin and begin walking over, when Jack notices me, he visibly tenses. I bump into him with my hip.

“Hey Jack.”

“Oh, um, hey Jade. What are you doing out here?”

“I was getting some food for breakfast. Who is your friend?”

I look at the man with Jack. He would have to be in his mid thirties. He has long, black hair just like Jacks. His eyes are a pale blue, like the sky. He has beautiful white skin, again, like Jacks. Maybe they are related? I smile at the man, and notice he looks a little ill. Have I interrupted something serious? Jack takes my hand and squeezes it, why is he squeezing my hand?

“Um Jade, this is…Michael.”

“Oh, lovely to meet you Michael.”I smile.

The man looks at me, and he looks seriously hurt. I extend my hand and Michael takes it, a sizzle of power runs up my arm, and I snatch it away. Oh, he is one of us. An old friend of Jacks perhaps?

“Nice to meet you Jade.” He says in a cool, collected voice. He has a strong accent, its kind of cool.

I watch as Jack and Michael share unspoken words. Jack shakes his head furiously at Michael who simply nods. They must have been having a pretty serious discussion.

“Jack, bring Michael back and have some breakfast with us. There is plenty.”

“Ah, no its ok.”

“Oh please?” I beg.

“We would love to.” Michael says.

I smile. “Come on then.”

I skip ahead, happy as anyone can be. Michael and Jack follow me back to our room. When we get in, Jax is on the phone. I choose not to disturb him, but I can hear his conversation and can’t help but listen in.

“No Liz, I can’t meet you. I changed my mind.”

Pause.

“Yeah, well, I changed.”

Pause.

“She is with me, I am with her. I am not interested in other women.”

Pause.

“That was last night, things happened over night. I am not discussing this with you. We are done alright? See you.”

He hangs up and turns. When he sees Jack and Michael, he narrows his eyes.

“You found Jack. Morning Jack.”

“Morning Cap, sorry, she invited us back for food. I hope you don’t mind.”

Jax shrugs. “Nah, stay. Who is your mate?”

“This is Mic
hael. Michael, this is Jax Watt
s. He is the Captain of the ship and Jades…ummm…”

“Its ok Jack, I get it. Pleasure to meet you Jax.”

They shake hands and I see Jax’s eyes narrow. He looks from me, to Michael, then back to me? What? I grin and shove the gift bag at him.

“I got you something.”

“With my money?”

I thump him, and he laughs. “Alright, what is it?”

He opens it and pulls out the little ship; a grin spreads across his face.