Damaged and the Saint (14 page)

Vaughn's blue eyes shined against the camo paint on his cheeks and forehead. I knew he was tense. Standing with his arms crossed tightly, Judd was tense too. I wasn’t sure why they were acting so pissy, but I sensed their irritation was related to the Rutgers twins whispering with Dutch.

“They’re joining forces,” Judd whispered.

“Seems like it. They want to end the matches with a big bang,” Vaughn muttered.

I glanced at the men then back at Vaughn. “Or the twins want to make nice with a guy coming into power.”

“You’re not paranoid enough. I blame your parents,” Vaughn said, giving me a wink. “You look different today. Sick maybe. Did you eat bad eggs?”

“Eggs?”

Judd grunted. “Bailey ate bad eggs and threw up on Tucker who then puked back on Bailey. It was one of the more heartwarming moments between the siblings.”

“I can’t say I’m sorry I missed that.”

“You do look sick though,” Vaughn said, cupping my face. “Did Saint make you drink some kind of mineral shake? He seems like a health nut.”

Yanking my face away, I stepped back. “No and stop touching me. He doesn’t like that.”

“Is he possessive?” Vaughn asked with a jerk-sized twinkle in his eye. “Does he boss you around? Should I have a talk with him? Threaten to shove a bowling ball up his ass maybe?”

“Sounds like a plan,” Judd added, smirking. “Tawny thinks a bowling ball won’t fit in a guy’s ass. This could be our chance to test it out and answer the question once and for all.”

“I think that’s the most I’ve ever heard you talk,” I said, backing away from Judd.

Dylan pressed up behind me. “Leave her alone before I test the bowling ball up your asses.”

Looking at my brother-in-law, I smiled at his expression. He was taking a bullet for me by distracting the guys.

“Thanks,” I whispered.

“Remember this when I doze off during one of your stories again.”

Losing my smile, I remembered him going as far as snoring while I explained all the super cool moves I learned in my martial arts class. Dylan grinned at my frown then walked past me and sized up Vaughn.

“I remember when you were good at bowling. Impending fatherhood hasn't been good to you.”

Vaughn lost his grin. Yeah, his bowling slump was a touchy subject. While the guys tormented each other with threats and lame insults, I noticed Saint stalking through the crowd of Memphis guys.

Even without his size and dark skin, he was all I could see in the ocean of bodies. The minute his gaze met mine, the world fell away and we were alone.

His look said it all. The paintball game and these people stood in our way of being real. He gave me a tiny grin before disappearing into the woods with his paintball rifle. I suspected he planned to get shot five minutes into the game. As much as I hated the pain being shot, I wanted to finish up the match quickly and meet him on the top deck.

Vaughn decided to stick Judd with Dylan. This was meant to be a punishment for one of them, but I wasn’t sure which. I was stuck with Vaughn who sniffed me and asked if I’d been marked by my killer boytoy. Shoving him away from me, we were too busy tormenting each other to realize we’d walked straight into the twins’ hiding spot.

Seeing my chance to get knocked out early, I stepped in front of Vaughn as the twins fired. I took one in the stomach and another in the shoulder.

“Fucking shit!” I screamed, not caring if I seemed weak. That shit hurt!

Vaughn ran for cover behind a tree. He gave me an “attagirl” nod before disappearing into the woods. The twins hesitated, looking slightly terrified.

“We were aiming for him,” Camden said. “If we’d been aiming for you, it’d be in the leg like Saint instructed.”

Slinging the gun over my shoulder, I rolled my eyes. “If I were you, I’d worry more about Cooper’s guys than what Saint will do to you.”

The twins barely missed being nailed by Vaughn’s shots. They fled into the woods and the game continued while I walked back to the deck.

Sawyer and Jace sat up on the deck with their legs dangling off the edge. She appeared to be talking or maybe just chewing wildly on gum. Jace was silent as usual, staring at the woods. He caught sight of me and did that male trick of evaluating me from my toes to the top of the head. How did an eleven-year-old boy manage to make me feel small?

“You got shot,” he said, trying not to laugh.

“Yeah, I suspected that much from the pain.”

Sawyer spit out a chunk of gum nearly the size of her hand. “Does it hurt? I want to get shot with a paintball gun, but Pop says no.”

“You’d cry,” Jace said, swinging his legs. “I hate when girls cry.”

“You’d cry, dumbass.”

Rolling my eyes at their sibling-like bickering, I sat at the picnic table on the lower level. I couldn't play tough with my shoulder killing me. The pain drawing tears, I didn’t want anyone knowing I was crying. Jace especially would have none of my blubbering.

Removing my vest, I fanned myself in the early summer heat. The day was mild out in the open, but the woods were muggy. I imagined Saint in the heat and smiled. He looked so unbelievably sexy sweaty.

“How did you get shot so fast?” Sawyer asked, coming down the stairwell with Jace close behind. “Did you mess up?”

“Yeah, but I blame Vaughn.”

“Good,” she said, joining me at the table. “Boys are stupid.”

Jace narrowed his eyes, saying nothing.

“Shouldn’t you be at school?” I asked Sawyer.

“Got booted after I didn’t take any guff from a stupid third grade bully.”

“You got expelled for one fight?”

Jace snorted, yet remained silent. Sawyer glared at him.

“I don’t take guff from anyone. Not the big kids or the little kids or the teachers and especially not from that loser lady in the cafeteria who said I couldn’t sit where I wanted. I just don’t take guff.”

“I see that,” I said, grinning at my brother. “So you’re homeschooled now?”

“Yeah. Turns out I do good with Mom and Pop teaching me. I’ll take guff from them like no one else.”

Studying my shoulder where a welt swelled nice and ugly, I knew a dip in the hot tub would help. Not here though. I wasn’t stripping down in front of so many people especially not Lenny who came stomping out of the woods.

“He smells,” Sawyer said, shoving fresh gum into her mouth. “Sometimes like BO and sometimes like old turds sitting in the sun.”

Jace showed no reaction. Guys like Lenny scared him. I didn’t blame him. Guys like Lenny killed our old families.

Spitting on the ground, Lenny grunted, “At least I lasted longer than the girl.”

“You got shot in the face,” Sawyer announced helpfully, pointing at the blue mark on his jaw.

“Yeah, some asshole shot me and didn’t even have the balls to show himself. Coward cunt.”

Jamming more gum into her mouth, Sawyer rolled her eyes. “Whatever you have to tell yourself.”

Lenny wanted to tell Sawyer where to stick it, but she was Kirk Johansson’s princess. Instead of storming off to lick his wounds in private, the asshole needed to punish someone.

“You think that’s funny, fuckwit?” he growled at Jace. “Better get rid of that smirk or I’ll get rid of it for you.”

Even without looking, I knew Jace wasn’t smirking. Like a turtle waiting for danger to pass, he shut down around men like Lenny. Eyes down and face devoid of emotion, Jace reacted in the same way each time and today was no exception.

Lenny smelled my brother’s fear and pounced. “Punk ass kids today,” he said, suddenly yanking Jace up by the back of his tee.

“Leave him alone!” I yelled, moving between them.

“Need your sister to save you, huh, pussy?”

Head down, Jace said nothing. He was waiting for the pain, but I stood between him and Lenny’s fist. Even wanting to rant and rave at this fucker, I lost my voice. Suddenly, I was staring into Playboy's face, not Lenny's. Scared of pain, I didn't move out of his way, but I didn't speak either. Sawyer had no problem sharing her feelings though.

The Johansson sisters shared a habit of letting out a high-pitched scream before battle. Bailey called it their Xena: Warrior Princess cry. When Lenny wouldn't let go of Jace, Sawyer climbed on the table, spit out her gum, and let loose with a scream capable of startling the dead.

“Shut up!” Lenny yelled, but his command didn’t hold much heat. He was scared of the little girl. I didn’t blame him.

Sawyer narrowed her eyes, causing her pretty, little face to twist into something ugly. “I’m going to have you killed! I’ll have you torn apart by dogs! I’m going to watch you scream, fucker!”

Releasing Jace’s shirt, Lenny stared hard at me. He knew things were out of hand, but he couldn’t back down. Not to a little girl or for me either. Lenny was a killer and men like him didn’t blink even if they ended up dead.

Sawyer never paused in her profanity-laced threats, even when Lenny let go of Jace. A noise startled Jace and me. Lenny turned his gaze away from us and towards the woods. On his back was a big splat of paint.

“What the fuck?” Lenny yelled at Saint who moved casually towards us.

Saint sported a half dozen paint colors across his chest and legs. Yet he moved as if unfazed by getting shot so much.

“Sorry. Didn't hear you,” Saint said, reaching us.

“I said, ‘What the fuck?’ Why did you shoot me?”

“Could have been worse,” Saint said, setting down his paintball rifle. “I could have used live rounds like this.”

Saint pulled out a small handgun. Well the gun wasn't really small, but looked that way in his large hands. I suspected the resulting hole in Lenny’s face would look big enough.

“Be cool,” Lenny said.

Saint smiled in a relaxed way. Stepping closer, he checked me for injuries then peeked at where Jace hid.

“I don’t like people messing with my things and Harlow belongs to me while I’m in Ellsberg. Did you forget that?”

His voice was so calm that I was startled when Sawyer started screaming again.

“I want you to kill him!” she yelled, hands in fists and tears pouring down her red face. “I order you to kill him! I’ll pay you! I don’t care! Shoot him!”

Saint studied Lenny then gestured for him to leave. “Be happy I’m such a nice guy.”

Lenny stomped away, trying to save face, but Sawyer still screamed at him. She wanted him dead so badly I thought she might do it herself.

“Why didn’t you kill him?” she demanded from Saint who shoved his gun back into a pocket.

Saint looked at Sawyer and sighed. “Kid, life isn’t always going to play out the way you want. The good guys don’t always win and the bad guys don’t always get what's coming to them. I know you have a powerful daddy and your brothers run around like their shit don't stink. Maybe you’ll have an easier life than most, but never forget that as scary as your family is there are scarier people in the world. People like your daddy’s bosses in Memphis. They’re Lenny’s bosses too and they say he lives. Life works like that sometimes.”

Sawyer frowned, but didn’t argue. She climbed down from the picnic table and took Jace’s hand. My brother was still hiding deep in his head. He probably wanted to stay with me or find Winnie. Instead, he let Sawyer guide him upstairs to the house. In reality, Sawyer needed more soothing than he did now.

“Thanks,” I said to Saint who was watching me. “I totally had it handled, but I know how you like to feel important.”

Saint shared my grin. “Sorry I pissed off Lenny and he took it out on you.”

“You shot him in the face?”

Saint grinned wider. “And next time, I’ll shoot him with a real gun.” When I frowned, Saint took my hand and placed it against his sweaty chest. “He’s been gunning for you since day one and I’ve controlled myself. The games are over now, so I’m killing him. Messing with those kids sealed his fate.”

“But you told Sawyer you wouldn’t.”

Saint shrugged. “That child isn’t old enough to have someone’s death on her shoulders. Maybe she’s crazy enough not to feel too bad about getting him killed, but I doubt it.”

“You’re a cuddly bear inside,” I said, leaning against him. “You got shot a lot.”

“I think Judd and Vaughn were having a contest and I ended up as the target.”

Saint glanced down at my shoulder and chest. “Who needs to bleed?”

“The twins were aiming for Vaughn. I think you can leave them unbloodied.”

“Maybe,” he said, looking unconvinced.

“Give them your angry glare and they’ll piss themselves. They were pretty close to needing new pants when they realized they shot me.”

Saint glanced up at the top deck where voices were raised. Sawyer likely caused a disagreement between the Johanssons and Memphis guys.

“If you kill Lenny, will your bosses be mad?”

“Bosses? I’m self employed, babe. I'm also worth more alive than Lenny is. I deal with problems no one else can. Lenny is cheap muscle.”

“Okay.”

Saint smiled, tugging at the seam of my tee. “Everyone is partying this afternoon and probably into the evening. We're expected to stick around and have fun with them during the last night in town. I know all that, but let's ditch this place and go somewhere private.”

“You’re leaving tomorrow,” I said, letting the idea sink in.

“After escorting the big dogs back to Memphis, I’ll be back. They don't know that, of course.”

I took his hand. “Let’s go. I don’t want our last night together to be surrounded by people we have to pretend for.”

“Last night isn’t really accurate.”

“You said it first,” I pointed out as we walked around the house to the driveway.

“True, but I didn’t mean it like you think it means.”

“Because you’ll come back?”

Saint heard the question in my voice. He smiled as if our evening would be filled with reassurances. I returned his smile then slid into the SUV. After a text to Winnie to make sure Jace was okay, I settled into my seat and let Saint take the reigns on our last night tonight.

Harlow was a mess of emotions. Hiding nothing, she showed me every fear and joy she felt. We'd spent most of the last night in the hot tub. We cuddled in bed, walked to a local place for dinner, and returned to the apartment complex for more hot tub soaking. The night ended with Harlow crying out my name more than once.

“Making you lose control again last night were some of my greatest accomplishments,” I said, meaning every word. “We'll celebrate when I get back to town.”

“I can't believe you're leaving?”

“Just to escort the big wigs back to Memphis. It’d be easier if the Johanssons would build a landing strip somewhere, so guys can fly in and out of town.”

“Do you promise you'll come back?”

Frowning, I realized she was genuinely worried. “Of course.”

“If you decide not to come back, there’s nothing I can do, right? I don’t even know your real name. You could disappear and I'd never be able to find you.”

I cupped her face and gently wiped away the tears pouring down her cheeks. “I’m coming back. It’ll only be a few days.”

“But you don’t have to come back. You can disappear and I can’t do anything. I can only hope you return.”

“Harlow, I’m coming back.”

“You can say whatever you want and I have to accept it. What else can I do? You have all the power.”

Seeing the panic in her wet eyes, I struggled to help her. How could she not see how much I needed her?

“Let me have your phone,” I said, reaching for her little army styled purse.

“You use burner cells,” she whimpered, crying harder now. “Putting a temp number in my phone doesn’t mean anything except you think I’m stupid.”

Ignoring her tears, I set the number then dialed it. Harlow tried to walk away, but I snagged her around the waist and sat her on my lap. The phone rang a few times before my mom answered.

“Hey, Mom, say hello to Harlow.”

I placed the phone against Harlow’s ear.

“Hello,” Harlow mumbled, wiping her eyes. “Nice to talk to you too.”

I cradled her in my arms while she made a few minutes of small talk with Mom who likely wanted to know her life story. I took the phone and told my mother goodbye, knowing I would need to call her later to explain why no wedding date was set yet.

Hanging up, I handed Harlow her phone. “I'm trusting you with my mom’s home number. I wouldn’t do that if I wasn’t coming back.”

“Was that really your mom?” she asked, wiping her face. When I nodded, she gave me a little smile. “She sounds nice.”

“Oh, she’s very nice, but having you talk to her was like waving red meat in front of a lioness. She’ll want to meet you now. We’ll do that another day.”

Calm now, Harlow studied me. “I don’t want to guilt you, but if you don’t come back, it’ll destroy me. My destruction will be on you, so keep that in mind if you find someone better.”

I considered telling her how stupid she was being to think I would meet anyone else. Harlow wouldn’t understand though. My life before her was a dark memory I couldn’t really share. She knew about Mexico and my violent job. She knew I only fucked on my birthday. Harlow understood these surface facts, but the true ugliness of my life didn’t register. I still wore too many masks with her. I still hid the fucked up man I was inside.

“I’ll be back in a few days and we’ll go somewhere more private than this club apartment.”

Harlow smiled at the idea of us alone. I sensed she might even have a specific place in mind. All of our plans would need to wait until I returned to Ellsberg.