Damaged and the Beast (20 page)

“I’ll miss you.”

Yep, that worked. Cooper’s smile faded and he just stared full of longing. Less horny hunger, more all encompassing desire. The kind of need I worried would destroy me.

“Don’t tease,” he whispered.

“I’m not. Well, I was, but I will miss you. I had a lot of fun today. Even more than at dinner.”

Cooper gave me a soft smile. “I’m leaving before I fuck up and scare you off again.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Cooper’s grin widened. “Make sure to wear that sexy uniform of yours, okay?”

Laughing, I rolled my eyes then reached for the doorknob. Yet, I didn’t go inside right away. Instead, I watched him walk away, knowing he knew I was watching. Even if I wasn’t certain based on what I knew about Cooper, it was confirmed when he reached the front gate and gave me a naughty wink.

Sunday flew by faster than I anticipated. As soon as I got up, I called Tawny. She was still stuck in the motel, but Dad had returned for a few minutes to say they would be leaving soon. Even though I knew she was freaked out, my little sister mostly wanted to talk about Cooper and kissing. We had to keep the conversation short, but I gave her all of the juicy details.

Cramming a long list of required reading into the few hours before work, I didn’t get very far. Amy wasn’t around so I used the busses to travel to work. I hadn’t worked a Sunday in Ellsberg before and it was completely different than the night shift. Table after table of customers and tons of tips, it was so busy I nearly missed when Cooper walked in with Maddy and Tucker.

Unlike his nightly visits to the restaurant, Cooper didn’t stay for more than an hour. He did talk to the manager so I could get my break early. Those fifteen minutes consisted of Cooper taking me outside, pressing me against his truck, and kissing the living hell out of me. Trying to keep up, I even attempted to make my tongue do that slow methodical tasting thing he did. Instead, I just got excited and sucked at his tongue while grabbing him tighter. Though I didn’t improve my kissing skills, I was getting a whole lot more confident.

As bummed as I was when Cooper left, I returned to a very busy shift. I even picked up a few extra hours when a girl needed to come in late. By the time I headed to bed, I was a little behind on my schoolwork. I also missed both Cooper and Tawny, but knew I would see him the next day. If I kept picking up extra shifts, it wouldn’t be long before I saw my sister too.

On Monday, Skye was too busy to hang out. Eating alone, I saw Nick doing the same against a nearby tree. Thinking of how far behind I was with schoolwork, I joined him. We did the basic hellos and small talk then I got to my point.

“Do you think you’d have time to study together? I’m having trouble keeping up.”

Nick patted the ground next to him. “They had me work double shifts at the store over the weekend, so I didn’t have time to do anything either.”

After finishing our lunch, we spent the last few minutes before our next class going over an assignment. Nick might have been falling behind, but I got the sense I was even farther behind than him. A lot of what he said didn’t register like it should. Once in our English Lit, I copied his notes from past classes. Not only were his notes more extensive, his penmanship was excellent. I could imagine him making a great teacher.

When Nick smiled at me, it wasn’t like how Cooper did. Nothing overtly sexual or teasing, he was just friendly. If he still liked me, he wasn’t obvious about it. While I found Nick attractive, I was hooked on Cooper. My whole body hummed whenever I thought of the sexy jerk. If I thought about him for too long, I would smile randomly like an idiot for everyone to see.

By the time Spanish class arrived, I could barely wait to see Cooper. Yet, a little part of me worried he might be cold. What if he lost interest overnight or met someone else? Even knowing this was unlikely, I worried I’d lose Cooper now that I needed him so much.

Standing at the front of the class, I talked with Nick who sat in his seat. Cooper was usually one of the last people to arrive and I didn’t want to sit in the back without him. The stoner and sleeping guy were grumpy and hated when anyone approached them. Cooper could because he was fucking scary.

When Nick dropped his pencil and managed to kick it halfway across the class, the look on his face sent me into hysterics. This was the moment Cooper chose to enter the room. This was also the moment I understood our honeymoon phase was over.

“What’s so fucking funny?” he muttered.

It had been a great day. A great last few days, but all of my joy and confidence disappeared.

“He dropped his pencil.”

Cooper rolled his eyes then took me by the back of the neck and pulled me closer for a really inappropriate kiss in front of the whole class. As a few girls giggled and a guy whistled, I just waited for it to be over.

After letting me go, Cooper pulled me to the back of the room and yanked a chair closer to his. Finally, he sat down and patted hard on it for me to sit down.

“Why are you always fucking hanging around him?” Cooper whispered loudly once I sat down.

“He’s in a few of my classes and he’s helping me study.”

“I’ll help you study. I’m a hell of a lot fucking smarter than that piece of shit.”

Cooper spoke so loudly that people outside the room likely heard him. Wanting to disappear inside myself, I thought to distract him.

“I missed you,” I said softly, giving him the best smile I could manage.

“Didn’t seem like it when I arrived.”

“Why do you care so much about Nick?” I whispered. “He’s just a guy who wants to be a teacher. Besides being freshmen, that’s all we have in common. I really like you, but you’re scaring me.”

Placing my hand on his forearm, I hoped to settle Cooper down and have him focus on me. Instead, he glared at Nick who did his best to ignore him. Unsure what to do, I lifted my hand to return it to my lap. Cooper grabbed my hand and replaced it on his arm. Staring at him, I felt like nothing I remembered from the weekend was real. He might have even only liked me out of a weird competitiveness with Nick.

When Manuel entered the room, everyone breathed again except for Cooper and me. I sat with my head down and my hand stuck against his arm. Cooper dug his heels into the ground, making squeaking noises as his boots met the linoleum.

“Why him?” he growled in my ear.

There was nothing to say. Nick was a nice guy, but I’d fallen for Cooper. I even imagined a future for us, but I wasn’t sure I wanted him anymore.

Cooper let go of my hand and crossed his arms angrily. He sat like that for the entire class while everyone ignored us. I didn’t pay attention to the instructor. I could only fight the urge to bawl and run away. Why did Cooper have to ruin everything?

When class was almost over, Cooper leaned towards me and spoke quietly. His voice lacked much of the earlier heat, but his gaze was again on the back of Nick’s head.

“Tell me you’re my girl and I’ll let this go.”

“I was yours, but not anymore.”

Cooper glared harder at Nick. “If he takes you from me, I’ll kill him. I’m not kidding.”

Leaning away from him, I packed my books. “Don’t worry about it. I’m done dating for a long time. Men are assholes.”

As soon as Manuel said we could leave, I bolted out of my chair and ran for the door. I needed away from Cooper. I didn’t want to see Nick either because I felt guilty for drawing attention to him. Crying, I hoped to get to my bus, go home, and hide for a while before work.

Feeling his gaze on me, I knew Cooper was following and I couldn’t outrun him. The people around me backed off and walked away, unwilling to get sucked into the upcoming drama. In that moment, I accepted how I was completely on my own in Ellsberg. Grown men, instructors, and even a security guard walked away, leaving me alone on the grassy quad with Cooper.

Turning towards him, I clenched my hands into fists. My fight or flight kicking in, I realized flight was no longer an option. Staring up at Cooper, I saw his expression shift from anger to surprise then he looked a little panicked.

“It’s okay,” he said softly. “Don’t cry.”

“Leave me alone.”

“I just want to talk.”

“Fuck you,” I muttered through clenched teeth. “I made myself think you were this great guy and I missed you all day then you showed up and embarrassed me. You treated me like a piece of trash in front of everyone. You threatened Nick who’s never been anything except nice to me. You’re acting like a psycho.”

Knowing the words were harsh, I’d likely sealed my fate. Yet, I expected to be hurt anyway. I could imagine a slow painful death after Cooper was done playing with me. People wouldn’t care or mention I existed. Tawny would sit alone in a motel room, waiting day after day for me to call.

“Farah,” Cooper began, his movements careful, “don’t be scared.”

“Leave me alone. I want to go home.”

“Let me drive you.”

Shaking my head, I backed away when he stepped forward. Cooper sighed and reached out to caress my wet cheeks.

“I’m so crazy about you,” he whispered in a pained voice. “I hate how our schedules don’t match up except for this fucking class. I waited all day to see you too then some asshole asked if you and I broke up because he saw you hanging out with another guy. I ignored his bullshit, but then I saw you with that piece of shit and I just freaked, okay?”

“Not okay. Nick is helping me get caught up because I’m falling behind in class. Even if he liked me, he knew I was dating you and he’s scared of you like everyone else.”

“Including you?” Cooper asked, reaching out to gently unclench my hands. “I acted like a jackass in class, but I’m not going to hurt you.”

“You did,” I said, yanking my hands away as more tears broke forward. “You embarrassed me. I don’t want everyone looking at me and laughing. People think I’m just some slut you’re fucking. Like I’m nothing.”

Stepping closer, Cooper used his thumb to caress away a little of the wetness on my cheeks. “That’s not what they think. They think I’m an asshole and you’re my hot girlfriend.”

“It’s not funny.”

“I’m not being funny. I’m an ass for acting like that. I looked insecure and stupid. They’re judging me, not you.”

Between his calm tone and gentle touch, I settled down a little. Did I even have a choice? Could I tell Cooper goodbye and he’d move on? I wasn’t even sure I wanted to tell him goodbye. I’d spent all of Sunday and most of Monday thinking about how he might be mine. Now, I was confused.

“Let me drive you home,” he said, trying to hug me, but I jerked away. “People are still around and I embarrassed you earlier. Let’s talk in private.”

“You’re trying to manipulate me.”

Staring up at the sky, Cooper sighed. “When I saw you with that douche, I lost track of what I wanted. I got so focused on keeping him away from you that I forgot to make sure you were happy.” Returning his gaze to my face, he sighed again. “I’m floundering here, but I need you to give me another chance. I let my temper get away from me. I know that and I’m not someone who freaks out a lot. It won’t happen again.”

“Ever?”

Cooper grinned. “I’ll be a perfect angel from this moment on.”

“I feel like I should stay mad at you. Like I’d be encouraging bad behavior by forgiving you.”

“You’re thinking about this all wrong,” Cooper said, turning me around to face the parking lot. We walked to his Harley then he smiled. “You did nothing wrong today. You were perfect. Why should you miss out on a ride home? Why not let the asshole get you a decent meal? Why not have the piece of shit kiss your neck when we both know you love that? Why not even have him help you study because he deserves to be really bored?”

Smiling despite my better judgment, I hitched up my backpack. “It’s true I would benefit from forgiving you. I still think you should suffer for being such an asshole. You acted like Tucker back there.”

“Hey, now that’s a bit harsh, don’t you think?” he muttered, faking like he was angry, but I saw through his bullshit. “I’ve never been jealous like that before. Apparently, I need to build up a little resistance so I don’t lose my shit every time a guy enters my territory.”

“I’m not territory.”

“But you’re mine,” Cooper said, leaning down to kiss me.

I kept the kiss brief. My hands were still shaking from earlier and I knew my makeup had likely smeared from crying. I wasn’t letting Cooper’s psycho behavior in class fade away just because he wasn’t pissed anymore.

“I guess a ride home would only be fair, but I want you to know I’m using you when I agree to this.”

Cooper grinned then leaned down to kiss me again. I kept this kiss brief too, making him sigh.

“Wanna go for a ride first?” he asked, nuzzling my hair.

“I need to study.”

“A short ride,” he said, finally giving me a hug.

Like an idiot, I shuddered at the feel of him. Giving him all of the power again, I couldn’t stay angry. At least, not when he was gentle, but now I knew he wouldn’t always be gentle. Sometimes, he would scare the shit out of me, embarrass me, and treat me like a possession.