Damaged and the Beast (19 page)

“Sniff them?”

Cooper grinned. “Tucker sniffs Maddy’s panties. He’s very proud of this fact.”

“I think it goes without saying that I’m not commenting on that.”

“No need. The fucker sniffs panties and runs around telling people like he’s discovered the cure for cancer. That shit speaks for itself.”

Leaving Cooper to set out all of the food he brought over, I shut myself in his room then in his adjoining bathroom. It was clean, functional, and male. Upon smelling his cologne, a weird hot sensation grew in my stomach then moved south. I’d never gotten aroused from a smell before. Staring in the mirror, I realized I was screwed.

No more keeping Cooper at arm’s length. No playing it cool, I had fallen hard and wanted to keep him. The thought of being tossed aside already stung, but it was coming one day. Maybe soon. Yet, I might be able to keep him interested for a while.

Again, I considered having sex and testing his interest. My nerves would prevent me from doing anything really sexy like actively participating. I still needed to know if I could keep Cooper after the wait for sex was over.

As soon as I changed into my shorts and tee, I returned to the living room and considered asking Cooper for sex. He was only interested in food though. Hamburgers, hot dogs, corn on the cob, coleslaw, and pounds of potato salad along with sticky buns his mom made after we left. Joining him on the couch, I took the plate he offered. Too nervous to ask, I dug into the food. Cooper sat at the other end of the couch with his feet propped up on the table. When I scooted sideways to face him better, he smiled.

“I can’t believe how much food I’m eating,” I said after a few minutes of pigging out.

“Why didn’t you eat before you came?”

“I did. A piece of toast.”

“Watching your weight, baby?” he asked. “Girls are always obsessing. Fucking Bailey thinks she’s fat and she’s a damn board.”

“Watching the checkbook, stud. Gotta make every penny count if I want to pay for school and move Tawny here.”

“I could help.”

Avoiding his gaze, I shook my head. “You already think I want you for your money.”

“Or my hot bod. They’re both worthy of worship.”

Grinning, I still refused to look at him. “I want to work my way through college. That way when I graduate, I’ll know I earned it.”

“Doesn’t anyone help you?”

“I get a little financial aid and my grandma pays for some stuff. She’s not a nice woman, but she doesn’t want more losers in the family. Without her help, I wouldn’t be here.”

“I love her then,” Cooper said, leaning forward and stretching so he could kiss my cheek. “She got my girl to New Hampton.”

Once he sat back in his groove, I considered smooth ways of asking for sex. Instead, I chickened out again.

“Your mom is a great cook,” I said, enjoying the macaroni salad.

“Yeah, self taught. Trial and error. Can you cook?”

“We usually didn’t have a kitchen in the motel. I can warm stuff up, but that’s it.”

Cooper studied me then nodded. “I’d have my mom teach you, but she’s pretty scary in the kitchen. Her way or the highway thing. They have evening classes at the college where they teach cooking. Maybe once you get settled in, you can take a class. I know how my girl loves to learn.”

Swallowing hard, I blurted out, “After we eat, can we go to your bedroom?”

Cooper glanced at the television and sighed. “No fucking way.”

“Why?”

“Your face is why. You look like you might puke.”

“I’m nervous, but I want to.”

“No fucking way times ten, baby,” he said, glancing back at me. “Today is going too damn well. There’s no way I’m ruining it by having sex when you’re still not sure about me.”

“When then?”

“When you look at me and I know you want it. When I know you’re giving with your heart and not that big head of yours.”

“My head isn’t big.”

“Figuratively.”

“Oh, I still don’t think it’s big. I’m an average student. Steady like a tortoise.”

“Don’t talk shit about my girl,” he said, gnawing at a corncob. “She’s fucking brilliant. She likes me after all.”

“Yes, she does,” I said then added, “Very much.”

Cooper watched me and an emotion flooded his handsome features then was gone.

“We’re good together,” he said, returning to eating. “Different but complimentary. Don’t you think?”

“Yes,” I lied.

“My parents are like that.”

My stomach flipped. My heart raced. My mind screamed,
“You’re eighteen! Stop thinking forever! Think of now!”
Then, my heart told my head to shut up.

“My parents are too similar,” I said. “Maybe that’s why they didn’t last?”

“Probably. Can you imagine how difficult it is to argue with yourself?”

Smiling, I finished the food and set the plate on the table. After wiping my mouth, I wondered if I should brush my teeth first.

“I should get home soon,” I said and Cooper’s expression was what I expected. “Do you want to kiss more before I leave?”

As I hoped, this question distracted Cooper from his regret over my leaving. “Hell yeah,” he murmured before his lips were on mine.

Shoving his plate on the table, Cooper leaned me back on the couch. He kissed my lips, lingering on the thicker bottom one, before kissing both of my cheeks.

“Why can’t you stay later? It’s not even dark.”

“I didn’t get a chance to study a lot during the week. I need to catch up.”

“We could watch a movie,” Cooper said, his left hand caressing my bare thigh. “Eat dinner and talk. We can talk about Tawny, school, whatever. I’m not ready for you to leave.”

“What if we make out for a while then I leave?” I asked, tracing his pouty lips.

“Or we could make out then watch a movie?”

“How long is the movie?”

“Just long enough for you to stay for dinner.”

“I just ate.”

“We could go swimming in the pool and build up your appetite again.”

Grinning at him, I sighed. “I should leave soon.”

“No, you should relax. Let me help.”

When Cooper’s lips found my neck, I actually shuddered. My body sent all kinds of unwanted signals to my brain. The hot tingles were unhelpful hints screaming, “More!”

As my arms wrapped around his wide shoulders, I leaned my head to the left. His lips sucked softly, probably too softly to leave a mark. When his tongue slid up my neck to my mouth, I met him hungrily. Quickly, my legs wrapped around his hips, tugging him closer.

Cooper groaned into my mouth and I felt him tighten his grip around me. My body didn’t care about anything except how good he felt and how he promised pleasure. I deserved pleasure, my body assured me. Did I deserve Cooper though? Was he too good for me? Wouldn’t he use then forget me?

Ignoring those thoughts, I enjoyed every kiss from Cooper who even in the heat of his need didn’t lose his stellar tongue work. Slow, teasing, thorough, he tasted me. So good, I wanted to go to his bed immediately before the fear returned.

“Cooper, please,” I moaned when he nibbled at my ear.

“Stop?” he asked, looking at me. “What’s wrong?”

“No, don’t stop. I want to go to your room.”

Cooper gave me his little boy lost expression while stroking my face with his fingers. “Why do you look like that then?”

“Like what?”

“Terrified.”

“I’m nervous, but I want to go in your bedroom.”

“Why?”

Frustrated, I grinded my hips against his. “That’s why.”

“You look upset though.”

“I’m nervous. Please.”

Cooper brushed my hair away from my face then kissed me softly. “You’re not ready.”

“It’s not your place to say that,” I muttered.

“It is my place because I’m the one who will look at your face when we’re together and know you’re not really giving. I’m not sure why you’re offering, but you don’t really want it,” he said then added, “Yet.”

“I do.”

“I sense your body does,” Cooper said, grinning at my hard nipples and flushed face. “You’re not ready though. If we went into my room, I don’t think things would turn out the way we want. Let’s just play around then watch a movie.”

Touching his face, my fingers enjoyed the prickles on his jaw. Cooper was so beautiful and I wanted to keep him. While I didn’t know if sex would end our relationship or take it to a better level, I needed to know.

“Please,” I whispered.

Cooper kissed my forehead then shook his head. “No fucking way. You’re not ready. I don’t care if you’ve been with thousands or millions or billions of guys, you’re not ready to be with me today. Don’t you think if I thought you were that I’d have you in my bed naked by now? Trust me that saying no is killing me, but I want you to be happy and I don’t see a wall coming down when I look at your face. I see one going up. So no, Farah,”

Leaning down, he sucked at my throat then spoke quietly in my ear. “Now, if you’re interested in some heavy petting with a hint of dry humping then, fuck yeah, we can do that.”

Caressing his still slightly damp hair, I sighed. “Yes, please.”

A grinning Cooper kissed me and we didn’t stop for an hour. Finally, Cooper pried himself off of me and leaned back into the couch. Running his hands through his now dry hair, he gestured for me to come closer.

Cuddling up next to him, I rubbed my lips and smiled. It was rather sad how the human heart found so much self-worth from others, instead of from within. Cooper suddenly had complete control over whether I felt beautiful or ugly. Whether I was a winner or a loser. Whether I deserved to be happy or was kidding myself.

“What movie do you want to watch?” he asked, wrapping his arms around me.

“I don’t care.”

Cooper turned on
The Avengers
and we sat for another two hours cuddled up. When the sun was low in the sky, Cooper disappeared to find more food. Again we ate, but I pigged out less after eating so much earlier.

We didn’t really talk about anything important. Cooper seemed nervous and very careful with his words. I knew how he felt. After a trip to the bathroom to clean up, I was ready to go.

“Sure you don’t want to swim again? We can go to the pool.”

“Maybe next time.”

Cooper exhaled softly. “There will be a next time, right?”

“If it’s up to me, yes.”

Giving me his cocky grin, Cooper wrapped an arm around my shoulders as we walked out. Soon, I was on the back of his bike, my arms becoming familiar with the feel of him.

After arriving at my apartment, we stood in front of the door for a minute, saying nothing. I suspected he wanted me to invite him inside, but I knew Amy was home by the sound of the TV.

“Wanna come back over tomorrow?” he asked.

“I have to work and study.”

“I thought you didn’t work weekends?”

“A girl wanted to take the day off and I need to make extra money for…” I peeked back at the apartment door. When I turned back to Cooper, I whispered, “For Tawny to move here.”

Sighing, Cooper glanced around all grumpy like and I waited for the bitching to begin. “What time are you working?” he asked, looking back at me. “I’ll visit you.”

“From ten to four.”

“When will you have time to study?”

“Before and after.”

“On Monday, I want you to sit next to me in the back. No front row crap.”

“I like the front row.”

“More than you like me?”

Frowning, I shrugged. “It’s a toss up, but I’ll give the back row a try. The view’s better.”

“Hell yeah, it is.”

I stepped closer. “My mom is inside and I don’t want to stay out here long. If you plan to kiss me goodbye and leave me wanting more, get to it.”

Cooper stretched out his long leg, took one big step, and was against me. I stared up at him in fear and lust. As usual, Cooper looked beautiful, yet terrifying as if he were my salvation and doom wrapped into one tanned muscular body.

His strong hands cupped my face and pulled me closer. I might still worry Cooper was faking his long term interest in me, but I never worried if he was faking his attraction. Kissing me as if claiming me, Cooper was careful though. I felt him holding back and I appreciated this gesture. When I knew he was under control, I could let go and enjoy his affections.

Eventually, he pulled his lips away then kissed me once more softly. Stepping back, he let out an unsteady breath. “I’m not going to say anything about my pants.”

“You just did,” I muttered, fanning my cheeks.

“Man, that was hot. I’m kissing you like that tomorrow on your break. Prepare to get overheated again, baby.”

Cooper was giving me such a cocky grin that I had to mess with him. Placing a hand on his chest, I stared up into his eyes with my most earnest gaze.