Cut Cords of Attachment (23 page)

Cord Item Q&A

Let’s clear up questions that can arise when a Courageous Explorer like you is new to writing down cord items.

What if I don’t get the words perfectly right?

So what? You still facilitate a permanent healing.

Have you ever had one of those nightmares where the same weird situation replays again and again? Afterwards, you wake up and describe your dream. Maybe those words aren’t perfect, either. Yet they come close enough. Therefore, they can bring some relief.

Find the nearest words you can. That’s good enough to release the STUFF-based nightmare permanently. Healing matters, not perfection.

What if I feel like I’m making words up?

Write down those words anyway. As you get into the feeling of a cord, translate it into the very first words that occur to you.

Making up the best language you can is perfectly acceptable. All the words or actions you find within a cord are really energy patterns. Of course, they exist beyond language. You are tagging molecules of emotion.

TECHNIQUE: Notes on Your Notes

After writing a Dialogue Box, look over your notes. Tweak them if needed before you move on to Step 10.

1. Were sentences incomplete or hard to read from your quick scribble writing? Reconstruct. (Also congratulate yourself for having the humility to write in a flow, rather than having to “Make everything look perfect.” Penmanship Class is completely different from healing.)

2. Number every single cord item. Short or long, it counts.

3. When you read over your notes, what do you find happening with the flow of cord items? For example:

• • Do you find a logical progression? (Sometimes there will be obvious logic, sometimes not.)
    
  • Is there a conflict or contradiction? (Beginners to this healing sometimes blame themselves for this. Experienced healers revel in it, because conflicts between cord items are wonderful to heal.)
    
  • Are there patterns within the cord sequence that might be related to your client’s intention?
    
  • Does part of the conversation repeat? (Such cord items can carry extra weight.)
    
  • Do you feel a special intensity with any cord items? (After you facilitate cutting your first hundred cords of attachment or so, you will gradually and gently degrees of intensity to each cord item.) (And sure, healing yourself alone, you can cut more than a hundred minor and major cords of attachment.)
    

3. Highlight anything that seems significant so you can emphasize it when discussing the Dialogue Box with your client during Step 10.

In the following example, where would you find a conflict to circle? (Hint: Maybe you will find more than one.)

CORD SAMPLE: Contradictions Galore

Listlessly, Wyatt walked into my session room. His voice was low as he spoke his intention. “I want to heal my Throat Chakra.”

We had to refine his intention a bit. Because intentions for this healing modality are not in the language of chakra and energy. For that, go to a practitioner of Energy Medicine! In Rosetree Energy Spirituality, speak the language of “Human.”

What is a way to grow as a person, emotionally or behaviorally? That is the type of intention we use for Rosetree Energy Spirituality.

For Wyatt, his revised intention was, “To improve how I speak up for myself.”

When asked which relationship might be most important for cord cutting, Wyatt didn’t hesitate. His throat might have felt squeezed, but his mind worked perfectly fine. “Mother,” he said. These were the cord items:

1. Wyatt: I feel sad.

2. Mother: You can’t possibly feel sad.

3. Wyatt: I feel neglected.

4. Mother: You’re not neglected.

5. Wyatt: I feel unappreciated and unwanted.

6. Mother: That’s ridiculous. Do you have any idea how good I am to you? I buy you everything you need.

7. Wyatt: What’s wrong with me then? I feel longings. I have ideas to share. Nobody ever is interested. You’re not.

8. Mother: Why would anyone be interested? Your inner life doesn’t matter. All I care about is having you look good and act normal.

Congratulate yourself if you flagged the conflicts in Cord Items 1 and 2, then Cord Items 3 and 4, then Cord Items 5 and 6, and also Cord Items 7 and 8.

Such a mess!

What might be the implications of moving out cord items where Wyatt is repeatedly told that he doesn’t feel what he feels? Logical consequences will be discussed in Steps 10 and 11 to Cut Cords of Attachment.

Healing Sexual Abuse

Of all the repeating patterns that can be stuck in a client, sexual abuse may be the most toxic. Whenever there has been rape or incest, the energy replays in endless repeat performances. By now you know where that theater is located, right in a cord of attachment.

Before you turn attention to such a major cord of attachment for yourself or a client, use your common sense. Such cords are not for beginners at Rosetree Energy Spirituality. When sexual difficulties have been part of a relationship, the cord of attachment can be among the most major of the majors. Make sure you are extremely experienced at cutting cords of attachment in advance of moving out such a cord.

For helping family members or friends, do not attempt to help them by moving out such a major, major type of cord of attachment. Refer them to a professional at Rosetree Energy Spirituality.

That said, as you develop skill and confidence, you may sometimes find it appropriate to cut a cord of attachment where there has been sexual abuse. What do you need to know?

TECHNIQUE: Sensitively Help Heal Sexual Abuse

No client is more grateful than one freed from cord items about sexual abuse. And guess what, Courageous Explorer? When your healing technique is solid, cord cutting to a sexual abuser is the same 12 Steps as always.

1. Even if your client has told you that a particular relationship featured rape or incest, diagram only what you find—nothing more, nothing less. When in doubt, remember this helpful hint: Assume nothing.

2. Sometimes you will find information about a sexual offense. Sometimes you won’t. Don’t feel pressured to find anything in particular.

3. Question without making assumptions about sexual abuse. Ask inside “What is in this cord?” not “What happened during the rape?”

Sexual misconduct is way more common than you might think before starting to work with clients. Sometimes a client’s memory of abuse will be all too accurate. Yet sometimes you may not find abuse where your client expects it.

For example, an innocuous incident from this life may trigger the deep memory of sexual abuse from a previous lifetime. The person who triggered the memory in this life could be considered an abuser by your client, even though the inappropriate touch happened centuries ago and was inflicted by a completely different person. (Then, technically, the related problem isn’t a cord of attachment but frozen blocks of energy, a different form of STUFF that requires a completely different skill set for healing, such as my system of Soul Energy Awakening Past-Life Regression.)

In such a case, there would be no trace of sexual abuse in your client’s present-life cord of attachment. There still could be plenty worth healing in your client’s cord to this person!

Sadly, a healing practitioner from your client’s past may have inadvertently caused your client to construct a false memory. Again, toxic energy galore could be stuck in that cord, something very worth removing. Although the Dialogue Box won’t match a client’s false memory, he will nonetheless benefit from his healing.

In general, doing Step 9, you never need to gauge the precise degree of accuracy to your client’s beliefs about sexual abuse. Nor need you know the particulars of incidents between your client and the cordee. You will do just fine. Courageous Explorer. You can bring wonderful healing simply by going through the regular 12 Steps to Cut Cords of Attachment

What if, recording a Dialogue Box, you find nothing like the specific kind of sexual abuse that you have been told to expect? Don’t be alarmed. Don’t doubt yourself. If it doesn’t exist in your client’s cord of attachment, why would you find it?

Even when there has been sexual abuse, that may not be the worst part of a client’s experience, given other patterns of STUFF. Nothing about the sexual abuse may exist in the current cord of attachment. For example, I have had many clients who saw the abuser after the incident and registered deep feelings of dread or shame or rage. That is what stuck in the cord.

Courageous Explorer, treat all cords of attachment in the same way, whether or not the client is concerned about sexual abuse. Never worry about validating your client’s story. Impartially record whatever you find.

Above all, don’t assume that you must act like a sportscaster, giving a blow-by-blow account of the physical drama. Even if it’s a cord of attachment to “The stranger who raped me,” only look for energy dynamics. No hunting for specific details, please. If a client wants those details, refer her to a psychotherapist who specializes in abuse, a grief counselor, a past-life regression therapist, or some other appropriate professional.

Your job is to remove the cord, write the Dialogue Box to validate this pattern, then follow through with the rest of the 12 Steps to Cut Cords of Attachment. This sequence may heal your client as nothing else has. Finally, she can let go of that old experience.

CORD SAMPLE: The Scream Nobody Heard

Often the victim of a rape feels trapped in a nightmare. She’s screaming as hard as she can, yet nobody hears, not even (apparently) God. Julia’s story was typical. Once her session started, she quickly got to the point. “I’m here to cut the cord of attachment to my father. He abused me.”

Because the memories were so painful, Julia was asked to simply nod “Yes” or “No” when I read out the Dialogue Box, signaling whether she could relate to each item. Here is the sequence I recorded at Step 9 (followed by her response during Step 10, noted in parentheses).

1. Julia: Screaming in terror, yet she can’t make a sound. It’s like being frozen and unable to move. Inside she’s yelling, “Stop doing that to me.” (Yes.)

2. Father: He continues using her body as if it is an object. His sexual energy moves through and around her. (Yes.)

3. Julia: I recognize this sexual feeling. I don’t want to feel it. (Yes.)

4. Father: He’s satisfied. Immediately, he puts what has happened into denial. To him, it’s as if nothing has happened at all. (Yes.)

5. Julia: The emotional pain is crushing. She cries out for help, but nobody helps her. (Yes.)

6. Father: Shut up. You’re making a big deal out of nothing. (Yes.)

7. Julia: I feel abandoned and helpless. I don’t want to be here on earth. (Yes.)

8. Julia: The only thing that keeps me going is my connection to God. I am able to connect extra strongly to God. I can do this because I must. (Yes.)

Starting with Step 10 to cut cords of attachment, Julia cried hard for the rest of her session. Despite this, she listened and responded actively. It made sense to her when I pointed out logical consequences of having the cord removed.

Yes, in the future anxiety could diminish. She might finally be able to enjoy sex with a man. She might stop feeling abandoned. Also, Julia’s longstanding desire to leave earth could abate.

“Yes,” she told me. “For most of my life I have wanted to kill myself.”

Wow!

I explained that when a cord of attachment keeps sending its poison into your aura, usually the best you can do is to cope with the negative feelings. Nothing will make those feelings stop, so long as the cord replays them 24/7 within your aura and subconscious mind. Now, energetically, things can be different.

Releasing Other Abuse

You may have the privilege of facilitating healing for other types of abuse, not just sexual abuse. This can be a huge help to yourself or a client.

What if you have
never suffered emotional or physical abuse?
You may wonder whether you are qualified to do this kind of work. Proceed to help others only when you are really confident and experienced at the 12 Steps to Cut Cords of Attachment.

Even if you have personal experience with abuse, this doesn’t make you experienced at cord cutting. Make sure you have cut many, many minor cords of attachment before attempting to deal with this sort of cordee.

What if a client proposes a candidate for cord cutting who has been physically or emotionally abusive? It is perfectly reasonable to say, “That sounds like a job for a professional at Rosetree Energy Spirituality. I’m not qualified to do that. But I can help you with cutting your cord of attachment to a less intense relationship. Please name another candidate for cord cutting.”

Still, Courageous Explorer, I am building many levels of depth into this cord cutting manual. So let’s say that you have, by now, become really experienced at cutting cords of attachment. Your family member or friend names a candidate for cord cutting who has been a physical or emotional abuser. You believe you’re ready to help.

Then follow the usual 12 Steps, supplemented by the following technique and your own common sense.

Whether healing abuse for yourself or a client, be sure to use the technique that follows.

TECHNIQUE: Validate Physical or Emotional Abuse

How would you validate abuse when you do Step 9?

1. Never expect to see the word “abuse” lit up in neon. Abuse is seldom all that you find in a Dialogue Box. It may not be there at all. All you do, when researching that cord dialogue, is to write down one item at a time.

2. While recording that Dialogue Box, sometimes you may find particularly intense emotions directed toward your client or you will find physical violence. Should you encounter this, write it down as you would any other cord items.

3. Understand that abuse is encoded in a cord as emotions and energy, not literal actions. If scenes or words flash before you, write them down. But don’t assume that this information is necessarily about a literal event.

4. As with sexual abuse, the contents of a Dialogue Box may not involve any of the more dramatic incidents in the relationship with a cordee. Just research the information and write it down. That simple.