Cut Cords of Attachment (22 page)

Sample of a Cord Dialogue Box

A Basic Dialogue Box

What is contained in a basic Dialogue Box? You write down the names of your client and the cordee. Then prepare to lower your writing standards completely. Because that first draft you proceed to write will be a flow of fast writing. It would be a distraction to fuss over penmanship or spelling or anything else.

Using our previous technique for “Capture the Cord Dialogue,” quickly write down the various cord items, prefacing each with the name (or initial) of your client OR the cordee.

Start with the first item, writing quickly and spontaneously.

Keep on writing, as the thoughts and feelings and images come to you.

Done? Go back over what you have written and number each item in sequence. First draft complete!

Afterwards, sure, look over the sentences for a simple revision, to dot i’s and cross t’s. Only a quick review of your super-quick first draft will do the job.

You are the only one who will be reading it, so don’t agonize. While the writing is fresh, simply want to look it over and get that flow of words clear enough for you to read out loud.

Q&A For Dialogue Boxes

Writing down a Dialogue Box can become easy with practice. Still, you may have some questions, so let’s explore.

Why would you feel the cord but not the bandage?

Here’s why. You’re more interested in the cord items. At least you can be.

You are in control of your mind. Decide which you’re interested in, cord or bandage.

I still don’t get it. By Step 9 you have removed the cord. You flung it into a violet flame, destroying it. Afterwards, you put on the bandage. Since it’s going to be there for three days, why wouldn’t that big, fat bandage be the main thing you notice?

For a short while after any cord is cut, a trace lingers. By analogy, imagine that a woman enters the room where you are now. She is wearing way too much perfume. Even after she leaves, won’t that smell linger for a while?

Well, you are reading that kind of trace, not the cord itself. Sniff out that trace. It tells you the story needed for healing.

Won’t you have to concentrate really hard to pick up the information?

No extra effort is needed. One quick thought your intention can take you directly to the cord data. During all of Step 9, just be slightly more interested in the cord dialogue than anything else.

That isn’t concentration, more like paying attention because you are interested. In other contexts, you do this often. It’s totally effortless. For instance, let’s say that someone shows you a group photo. You know you are in it. Won’t you look for yourself first?

Well, it’s not so terribly hard to do that, is it? No need to scrunch up your brain. No big internal push to avoid seeing other folks in that photo. No scissors will be needed to cut them out of the picture. Attention brings to the foreground whatever interests a person most.

Expect similar ease while doing Step 9. Aren’t you quite interested in finding the dialogue within that cord. Also, your previous steps of cord cutting have trained you to know that you are in control of your mind.

Confidently know that you are in control of your mind. This simple fact helps you to steady yourself when you aim to record a Dialogue Box. Later, that same control of your mind will come in handy again, helping you to advocate on behalf of your client during Steps 10-12.

One advantage of doing sessions for clients is that many people first develop the strength to become an advocate by… helping others.

Assisting a client can awaken your parental instinct, fierce caring, inspired clarity, the best in you. And, of course, it helps that your “clients” at this stage in your training consist of family members and friends—folks you already care about.

Once established, these same caring qualities can automatically deepen how nicely you treat yourself for self-healing with the 12 Steps to Cut Cords of Attachment.

A New Kind of Information

However confident you feel now as you aim to write a Dialogue Box, just do it. Cord dialogue is a new kind of information. You might need to cut 10 cords or more before you feel completely comfortable with the process. No biggie! The following can help you gain confidence.

TECHNIQUE: Value Every Bit of Information

Respect yourself doing this work, whether a client is there to admire you or not. Go forth boldly. Make yourself available to do this sacred work.

1. When writing down cord dialogue, your goal is to quickly capture the information. Don’t censor or edit. Neatness does
not
count. Scribble away.

2. Know that some cord items will come from the client, others from the cordee.

3. Don’t expect a logical order. Definitely don’t expect that the client and cordee will necessary alternate their dialogue.

4. Simply follow the flow of information the best you can and spontaneously write down whatever you receive.

5. Remember, you are involved in Rosetree Energy Spirituality. A Divine Being is collaborating with you. No human backup could be more skillful or considerate.

Cord Dialogue Need Not Be Consciously Recognizable

Cord Dialogue has value because it comes straight from your client’s subconscious mind. Never play guessing games about what might be in a cord, and don’t encourage your clients to do this either.

Whatever incident was stuck in the cord has gotten there because of other subconscious STUFF at the time of that incident:

• STUFF from other cords as they were at the time
  
• Frozen blocks of stuck energy from this lifetime and past lives
  
• Psychic coercion
  
• Additional forms of STUFF.
  

(Can you learn to heal all these forms of emotional, astral-level debris? Sure, and I can teach you, one skill set at a time. But let’s get back to the point related to the cord cutting skill set.)

Basically, cord dialogue just is what it is. In some cases, though, clients may tell you that some of the words you read out from the Dialogue Box in Step 10... were literally used by the cordee.

Why do I know this is possible? Occasionally a client will tell me, “He used to say that all the time.”

In Step 10, you will be reading the cord items out loud, which will be like showing your client a powerful play. Will there be great catchy quotes? Or will the dialogue simply be serviceable enough to move the action forward? Either way, every word will be valuable, bringing an experience of catharsis.

So long as you hold fast to your healing intention, your job at Step 9 can be simple. Just write down every word you find, using our technique to “Capture the Cord Dialogue.”

As you look over your notes, don’t insist that the words read like Shakespeare. Simple contradictions or boring repetitions can become a highlight when you get to Step 10. For now, faithfully write down the play. Never bring along your Inner Drama Critic.

CORD SAMPLE: When “Boring” Is Good

Sometimes the dialogue you overhear in a cord might seem trivial if you didn’t know better. Witnessed in a theater, the following words would make for a staggeringly dull play. Really, would you want to sit through a show with lines like this?

1. Wyatt: I feel sad.

2. Mother: You can’t possibly feel sad.

3. Wyatt: I feel neglected.

4. Mother: You’re not neglected.

Boring or not, dialogue like this can have great significance in the context of a cord. Why? Understand this fact: Conflicts within a cord repeat forever.

Your first reaction to Wyatt’s cord items might be, “That’s ridiculous.” Even a 10-year old, you might think, wouldn’t accept this kind of negation. Actually, many a cord’s dominant patterning was installed long before your client was 10 years old. Without help from a healer like you, lousy dialogue like this could replay for the rest of your client’s life.

Find Missing Persons

In some cases, a Dialogue Box will seem awfully one-sided. You scribble loads of notes about how your client pours out emotion toward the cordee, or the reverse. But, oddly, nothing seems to come from the person on the other side of the cord. Well, that silence could be golden. To use the data, just refine it a bit.

Courageous Explorer, how can you turn a “nothing” into something informative? The following technique will help.

TECHNIQUE: Probe to Find Missing Persons

While you are researching a Dialogue Box, sometimes you will write down a lot of dialogue on one side of the cord only. After many such items in a row, use the “Questioning” techniques as described next:

1. If there’s no input from the
cordee,
ask a question like this:

• • “Where is input from the cordee?”
    
  • “How is the cordee reacting?”
    
  • Or simply “Where is the cordee in this picture?”
    

2. If input from your
client
is missing, ask a question like this:

• • Where is input from my client?”
    
  • “How is my client reacting?”
    
  • Or simply “Where is my client in this picture?”
    

3. Take a couple of Vibe-Raising Breaths.

4. Accept whatever you get. Maybe nothing, maybe something. If something, write it down, even an abstract cord item like “I’m as disconnected from this relationship as I could possibly be.”

Sometimes a person’s absence turns out to be the most important item in the entire Dialogue Box. How could a “nothing” count as a big deal? Here come a few examples.

• A
  cordee
  who becomes energetically unavailable could be withdrawing purposely, manipulating your client.
  
• Or the cordee may not be capable of giving love or attention. This doesn’t necessarily start as anything personal. Yet, being part of a cord, it
  becomes
  personal. When you look at the Dialogue Box as a whole, or discuss it in Step 10, your client may have a big Aha!
  

“That lack of attention wasn’t about anything wrong with me. I wasn’t being rejected, really. I only felt rejected.”

• A power play may be involved. The most effective way for a cordee to pull energy from your client (intentionally or not) is to remain tantalizingly unavailable.
  
• A
  client,
  being unavailable in a Dialogue Box, could be fighting for psychological survival. She might be doing her best to carve out some privacy in a relationship that would otherwise smother her.
  
• Maybe your client is withdrawing as a kind of “Find me” ploy. The very next cord item could be something like, “If you really loved me, you would find me.”
  
• Perhaps your client is waiting for an apology that never comes.
  
• Or some other kind of support could have been requested by your client but never is given. What will follow this missing support? As long as that Dialogue Box replays, void and all, your client is waiting for Godot. She keeps expecting to receive the attention, the love, the whatever. So long as that dialogue pattern replays, subconsciously, your client will continue to wait.
  

With experience, you can develop an instinct for finding the “Missing items” in a cord. It’s no harder than finding something actively present.

For example, say that when you first write down cord dialogue, some of the items feel like hot water, obvious to your inner senses. As you keep exploring, you will also touch the equivalent of cool water.

Water feels like water, whatever the temperature. Similarly, within the flow of energy in a cord of attachment, energy feels like energy, whether active or passive, pushing or pulling.

CORD SAMPLE: Divorced Before the Divorce

Emma had been divorced for years, yet she couldn’t let go. “My ex was horrible,” she told me. “Holding on to any part of this awful relationship makes no sense. Please help me move on.” Here is the pattern I wrote down in the Dialogue Box.

1. Emma: I’ll do whatever I can to please you. Just pay attention to me. I need that.

2. Husband: No response.

3. Emma: Look, I’m working really hard to please you. Isn’t that great? Isn’t it?

4. Husband: No response. (Energetically, he’s as remote as he can be—yet still be included in the cord pattern.)

5. Emma: If you don’t pay attention to me, I won’t have any value as a person. I’m begging you to pay attention to me.

6. Emma: I feel so worthless.

7. Husband: Interested in pornography. Keeping it hidden. “I have a right to my private life. Don’t interfere.”

8. Emma: I must have done something wrong. Until I find out what that was, I can’t forgive myself. I had better try harder and harder to make up for it, whatever it is that I’ve done wrong.

Not a bad deal for Emma’s ex, energetically! Whenever someone in a cord acts unavailable, he constantly draws energy from the other person. As long as Emma’s cord continued, Emma was doing the equivalent of pouring her sexual energy into a leaky bucket. Sure she had trouble moving on, with limited sexual energy available for herself or to share with anyone new.

Cord items can sabotage life without being consciously known. Remember, Courageous Explorer, cord dialogue repeats in the subconscious mind, not conscious awareness.

For the rest of Emma’s life, that old cord dialogue would have repeated, with its gives and takes, its lack of respect, even cruelty. Every day, that subconscious cord would have played back its ridiculous nonsense. To help end the pain, simply write down whatever you find in that Dialogue Box. Step 9 is a very important part of the 12 Steps to Cut Cords of Attachment.