Cursed Fate: Cursed Series #4 (8 page)

I watch as she moves to the counter, grabs her purse, and then walks behind Steve. She gestures for me to give her a call and I can’t help but laugh at her subtly. Steve turns to see what she’s doing, but by the time he moves she’s already on her way out the door.

“She’s something else,” I say wringing the towel in my hand.

“Yeah, I’m sorry for interrupting,” he says taking a step forward.

The beat of my heart picks up the closer he moves toward me. No matter how hard I try to fight him, I can’t control the way my emotions and body feel when he’s near.

His arms reach out for me and I muster all the strength I can to not fall into him.

“Ash, come here. I need you to come to me…please,” he remarks, his tone begging for me to go to him.

“Steve, I can’t, I mean, we can’t keep doing this over and over again.”

Taking another step forward, he’s now so close to me. Lifting his arms, he places his hands on either side of my face.

“I don’t want to keep doing this over and over again with you, Ash. We…you and I are going to make this work. Through everything, all this time, I still feel the same way I did when we first met.”

“You’re right, there’s something that keeps pulling me to you, but there’s always so much that keeps pushing us apart. Our past is just that, the past…and now we tried, but it just couldn’t work.”

Shaking his head, he runs this thumb along the side of my face, a chill igniting throughout my entire body.

“I need you in my life, Ash. As much as I’ve fucked up over the years, there’s always been one thing that makes me want to be whole, be better, and be stronger. That one thing is you.”

His eyes stare into mine, it hurts so bad to love someone so much. I know that nothing I can do will help him be the man he wants to be, he has to want it.

“Steve, I’m not the one to make you that person.”

“Maybe you’re gonna be the one that saves me. It’s always been you, Ash…always and forever.”

His words rip at my heart, I can’t stand it anymore. He’s all I’ve ever wanted and now that he’s standing here with me, telling me this…I’m lost and without him I don’t know that I’ll ever want to be found.

Stepping in closer, I lean myself into his warmth. He makes me feel at peace even when we are at our worst. I would walk through fire for this man and I know that he’d do the same for me.

Looking up into his eyes, I can only pray that everything will fall into place…that he and I will finally be able to get through all of our shit and find a way to fall into one another without breaking apart.

Chapter 8

Today was quite eventful if I do say so myself. Knowing that Ashley is going to stay and that we’ve come up with a plan makes tonight that much more meaningful.

I’ve been waiting for this day for what feels like forever. Driving by myself to the airport, I’m anxious and excited to see my two friends. It’s been way too lonely around here with them gone. Now that they’re coming home, I feel like life might get back to normal.

Shortly after Cursed Magic door’s closed, Linc and Jo took a trip to visit family in Charleston, South Carolina. Something about near death accidents triggered Linc to go home and make things right with his brother and sister. The trip couldn’t have been easy on either of them, but I understood why Linc wanted to go. Life’s too short to live with regrets, especially when it involves family. I’ve spoken to Jo a few times while they have been gone and she seemed to be happy with the way things were going. I guess I’ll just have to interrogate Linc myself and find out all the details.

I’m not certain that they’ll be happy to hear how things have been here, especially when they find out that I’ve been talking to Christian again. We all have to move on one way or another and if having him in my life is helping me through my grieving process, then they’ll just have to accept it…I can only hope they will.

A sharp pain stabs me in the chest at the thought of everything I’ve lost…including
him
. Is it wrong that I’m trying to forget the man I love? He’s left me, he’s gone, and there’s no way I’ll get him back. The memories of Dault and me together were honestly the best times I’ve ever had. Tears begin to prick my eyes and I try my damnedest to fight them off. I promised myself that I wouldn’t cry anymore, God only knows I’ve cried enough to saturate the gulf coast.

I miss him more than I’ll ever miss my next breath; I want him back so fucking bad it hurts. Every night I close my eyes praying that when I wake he’ll be there lying next to me. Being wrapped up in his arms, smelling his scent, and hearing his voice again are things I wish for every day…but I’ve grown to know that it’ll never happen. Dault’s gone and he’s never coming back to me again.

Pulling the car into the Arrivals drive of the airport, I can see Linc’s tall stature and Jo’s thin frame. A small smile spreads across my face and hope begins to fill my soul. As I near the sidewalk, Linc’s eyes catch sight of me. Bending down to grab the bags, he stands and reaches for Jo’s hand as I get out of the car.

I can’t get to them fast enough. Leaving the car running and the driver’s side door wide open, I run to them. As I fall into their arms tears, fall fast from my eyes.

“Shh don’t cry, Etty,” Jo says rubbing her hand up and down my back.

Slowly breaking away from them, I wipe away the stream of tears falling down my cheeks.

“You look like hell, Etty. Pull yourself together,” Linc says while letting go of Jo and dropping his bag.

With two open arms he tugs me into his embrace. My emotions get the best of me and I let the dam break. I can’t control the pain and loss I feel as he clutches me tightly into his chest. My chest is heaving and my body is shaking so badly that he has to hold me upright so that I don’t fall to the sidewalk.

“I was just joking, Etty. You don’t really look like hell. Don’t cry, I’m sorry.”

His terms of endearment make me laugh and I can feel a smile pull from my lips. As I loosen my bear hug, I look up into his dark brown eyes.

“I’ve missed you so much, Linc. Life isn’t the same without you two here.”

“I’m back now and believe me we are ready to start fresh. There are a lot of things we want to talk to you all about, but first I want to get home and get a good night’s sleep in my own bed.”

Nodding, I hang on tight, not wanting to let go of my rock.

“Can I ask if you’ve talked to him?” I mumble into his shoulder.

“We have…but let’s not talk about that here. There’s a lot you need to know and I promise it’s going to be okay, Etty.”

“I miss him so much, Linc,” I reply, the tears falling harder down my cheeks.

“I know you do, just give it time,” he remarks rubbing his hand up and down my back.

Taking a step away from him, I turn to Jo giving her a tight squeeze.

“We missed you, Etty,” she says hugging me back.

Letting go of one another, we move out of Linc’s way so that he can grab the bags and put them into the back of the car.

Having them back here is just what I needed, our lives may have changed, but there’s no doubt in my mind that we’ll be able to pull things back together now that they’re back. Linc is the glue in this family and I know that he’ll do whatever he can to make the Cursed Crew whole again…no matter how broken they all may be.

Chapter 9

Warmth covers my body as I begin to wake. Opening my eyes, I can see her pink hair flowing from the center of my naked chest down along my right arm. Her small body is curled in alongside of mine and I can feel the rise and fall of her bare breasts against my skin as she takes slow and steady breaths.

Last night was one of the best moments of my life. With everything I’ve put her through, she still sees the good in me. Praying that she’d give me another chance, I built up the courage to tell her how I was really feeling. The mess I created and the pain I was torturing myself with was so unbearable. I turned myself against those that were always there for me because, once again, I was scared. Talking things through with Ash, I realized that I’m not the poison I set myself up to be. Everything does happen for a reason and sometimes we have to hit rock bottom before we can see the light.

Now she knows that there isn’t a doubt in my mind that we are meant to be together. Ashley is my beacon, the better half of me that can help me get back to the man I want to be. I know that I have to want it for myself, not for her. But with her by my side, I can accomplish and do anything I put my mind to. It’s been proven in our past and moving forward, I won’t let anything stop me from showing her the light she’s given me back. It will take a while for things to fall into place, I’m fine with that. I just want to reassure her that I’m in the right frame of mind, that she’s the reason I want to be a better man.

A sense of peace and hope fills my heart. She’s the woman I’ve been placed on this earth to cherish and protect. Too often have I destroyed others around me because of my own faults. I’ve hurt her in the past and I’ll die trying to make it up to her throughout our future.

The decision to let her walk away all those years ago was one that I’ll regret for the rest of my life. She was the one woman that knew how to make me smile, understood me when I couldn’t get past some of my own issues, and the person that taught me how to turn my weakness into strength.

I don’t know why I let her go, what I was thinking, or what she made me believe was the right thing to do. The love I felt for her was more than I’ve ever known…no other woman has ever measured up to my sweet girl.

After she left, I allowed myself to fall for the
other
girl. Jenn was there when I needed someone to catch me from sinking. She tried to pick up the missing pieces Ashley left behind, it just didn’t work. The way I felt for Jenn was different. I loved her; I just wasn’t in love with her like I was with Ashley. I was empathetic for her toward the loss of her best friend, other than that, the physical connection we shared was all that really held us together.

I think Jenn and I both knew our lives were going in different directions, the things we had in common began to dwindle, and the time we shared was slim to none…there was nothing left to keep us afloat, we were drowning.

With the weight of our relationship pulling me down and the regrets of my past playing through my mind, I turned to evil substances as a way to mask the pain. Alcohol and just about any form of a drug was my escape from reality. My days turned into nights that took me on a high, one that left me feeling empty and without any emotions. I pulled further away from Jenn, my friends, and my family. I was content being alone; it helped me hide from everything I had lost. Looking back now and knowing what I went through, I can’t believe I almost allowed myself to do it all over again. I almost took my own fucking life for God’s sake, the saddest part being I really didn’t care at the time.

There’s a stronger man within me fighting to get out and I’m willing to set him free. I have a chance to make this right, start my life on the right foot, and make sure I never lose myself or Ashley again. My life has a purpose, one that includes my cursed brothers and the love of my life. I have a gift and I’ll never rid myself of my passions. Today is a new day and no longer will I look back at my mistakes. From this point moving forward I have a plan. I’ll never let down my family again.

Letting out a heavy sigh, I look down to my girl. Her body begins to move while I run the tips of my fingers up and down her spine. She really is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. I need to make sure I tell her more often…she deserves to know how I see her and how much I love her.

“Morning, sweet girl,” I whisper into her ear.

Pushing the hair away from her face, I watch as she opens her hazel eyes. A smile pulls from her lips as she tries to bury her head against my body.

“Come on, sleepy. It’s time to get up.”

“No,” she mutters.

“Yep,” I reply moving my arm from beneath her.

With her face now down in the pillow, I begin to trail kisses up and down her spine. Wiggling her body, I take her hips in my hands, holding her still.