Authors: Piers Anthony
Tags: #Humor, #Fantasy, #Science Fiction, #Young Adult
“We can look for steeds,”
Drew said.
“Do that,” Clio said.
The two little dragons flitted from
their pockets and disappeared into the sky.
“Now that we are alone,”
Sherlock said, “May I presume?”
“I don't understand.”
“Our relationship may not have a
future, but it does have the present. I want to kiss you.”
She was taken aback. “Oh. I
thought-”
“You tend to think too much. So do
I.” He took her into his arms and kissed her.
She clung to him, kissing him back.
Half a welter of impressions clustered around them, ranging from fond to
naughty, before they broke for breath. “Oh, Sherlock,” she gasped.
“I've never been kissed before! I mean, not like that. I'm floating.”
“I can't say I have been
either,” he said. “But it's very nice.”
“Let's do it again.”
“We really shouldn't, considering
our lack of commitment. It isn't proper.”
“Oh, fudge!” She hugged him
and kissed him again.
After one or more timeless moments-she
was unable to focus on counting-they broke again. “Oh, Clio,” he
said. “I wish we could do this forever.”
“Despite my lack of curves?”
“And despite my lack of
handsomeness.”
“We don't seem to need those
things,” she said. “Yet last night, when we had them-”
“We wasted them. I've regretted it
ever since.”
It had been only a few hours, but she
knew what he meant. “Me too. If we get another opportunity, let's not
waste it. As you say, we do have the present.”
“I agree.” They kissed again,
and though it was the third one in succession, the feeling didn't fade. If
anything, it was stronger.
“We are adults,” she said.
“We can do anything we want, and we don't have to commit to anything
beyond the present.”
“That makes it feasible,” he
agreed.
“So why didn't we think of that
last night?”
“I think I will never understand
that.”
“I think I do. We were looking at
the future.”
“And it blotted out the
present,” he agreed. “So we lost our recent past.”
“Let's see if we can recover some
of it.”
They were about to go into another
clinch, but the dragons returned. “We found a roc bird,” Drew said as
he came to Clio's pocket.
“A roc!” Clio exclaimed,
putting herself straight. She had gotten pleasantly mussed, a condition the
dragons surely noticed but refrained from remarking on.
“A small one,” Drusie said.
“He'll be here in an instant.”
And in an instant, the sky darkened as
a huge bird glided down. “This is Pebbl Roc,” Drew said.
Pebbl landed on the path before them.
He was big for a bird, but very small for a roc, standing about their own
height. He squawked.
“He says he is pleased to meet the
Muse of History, and wants to know how he can help,” Drew translated.
Clio realized that a bird could fit a
lot of dialog into a single squawk. “Well, I'm not sure. We were looking
for rides to Com Pewter's cave.” She didn't need to add that this
miniature roc was too small to carry them anywhere.
Pebbl squawked again. “He says
he'll scout the area,” Drew said. “He can cover much more territory
than we can, and he knows the local folk. He'll locate suitable steeds for
you.”
“Thank you,” Clio said.
The little roc spread his wings and
took off. There was a blast of air as he powered upward. Even a little roc was
a lot of bird.
“So what did we miss?” Drew
asked.
“You dragons need to learn to be
more sneaky,” Sherlock said with a smile. “Then you wouldn't have to
ask.”
“Oh, we did miss something!”
Drusie said, disappointed.
“It was just some kissing,”
Clio said. “Like this.” She embraced Sherlock and kissed him again.
“Oh, that's so romantic,”
Drusie said. “I wish we had seen it.”
“Well, maybe there'll be another
time,” Sherlock said.
There was a galloping sound.
“Ah-one is coming,” Drew said. “A centaur.”
“I like riding on centaurs,”
Clio said, remembering Kay.
The centaur hove into view, her hair
swirling around her bare human top as she braked to a halt. “Hello. I'm
Chele. A little roc bird told me I was needed here.”
“It is true that we have a
distance to travel, and could use some assistance,” Clio said. “I am
Clio, and this is Sherlock. We are going to Com Pewter's cave.”
“I'll be glad to carry one of you
to it, but I won't go inside. Pewter is notorious for changing things in
there.”
Clio nodded. “No need for you to
do that. We shall merely speak with him briefly, then head for Mount Pinatuba,
south of the Gap Chasm.”
“Oh, that sounds exciting. But I
don't know the way to the volcano.”
“We do. We can direct you, if you
care to make that much of a journey.”
“I do. I understand Pinatuba is
quite impressive.”
“He is.”
There was another sound of galloping
hooves. “That's a unicorn,” Drew said.
“A unicorn! We hardly ever see one
of those in Xanth.”
“Paucity of virgins,”
Sherlock murmured.
The unicorn came into sight. It was a
filly with a bluish coat and blue horn. She eyed them warily before
approaching.
“I am Clio, unfortunately
virginal,” Clio said.
“I am too,” Sherlock said.
“I'm not, not that it
matters,” Chele said. Centaurs were quite open about natural functions.
“I've had three foals.”
“Fortunately you don't need a
ride,” Sherlock said.
The unicorn came near, avoiding Chele.
“There's something different about her,” Drew said.
Then the unicorn abruptly became a
human girl. She had dirty blond hair to her waist and dark blue eyes the same
color as the unicorn's horn. Clio's jaw dropped. “You're a
crossbreed!”
“I am Danielle Girl/Unicorn,”
she agreed. “A little roc bird told me I was needed here.”
“We would like rides to Com
Pewter's cave,” Clio said. “Then south to Pinatuba, the
volcano.”
“We don't have much to trade for
such assistance,” Sherlock said. “Just some chips of reverse
wood.”
Danielle jumped away so quickly that
her blue panties showed. They matched her eyes. “I don't want to be
reversed!”
“No need,” Clio said.
“He just meant that-” She paused, for Sherlock was standing
motionless. Oh-the surprise glimpse of panties had freaked him out. She snapped
her fingers to bring him to. “He just meant that if you have any likely
need, such as if you travel into monster country, you could carry a chip in a
bag and use it to reverse some obnoxious creature.”
Danielle reconsidered. “Yes, I
could use something like that. Sometimes men who aren't-well, they try to-such
a chip could be handy.”
They worked it out, putting reverse
wood chips into two small bags so that they could not be touched by accident,
and giving them to the filly and girl. Then Sherlock mounted Chele and Clio
mounted the unicorn, and they galloped northward toward Com Pewter's cave.
Then Clio saw something running along
the ground ahead of them. There were two of them, looking like leapfrogging
bunnies, except that they had no legs or heads or tails. They were just open
objects, hollow from above, moving rapidly. One would leap ahead, passing the
other. But when it landed the other leaped and passed it back. It was weird.
“What are those?” Sherlock
asked.
“Oh, they're just running
shoes,” Chele said. “There are several pairs in this area. They're
harmless. They come out for exercise.”
“A pun!” Clio said, laughing
weakly. “We're back in Xanth!”
“How could you have been anywhere
else?” Drew asked. “I am speaking for Danielle, who can't talk at the
moment.”
“We just visited Counter
Xanth,” Clio explained. “That's like Xanth, only everything is
reversed, and there are no puns. We were there only a day and night, but
somehow I got accustomed to the change.”
“It sounds rather dull,”
Chele said.
“It really isn't. It's just
different.”
They came to a large chain across the
path in the center it had one very active link that glowed and danced about as
if trying to go somewhere else. “I don't recognize that,” Chele said.
“We'll have to move it out of the way.”
“Don't touch it,” Clio said,
jumping to the ground. “It might be my Danger of the Day.”
“But there shouldn't be any
dangers on the enchanted path.”
“I am cursed to encounter danger
regardless,” Clio said. “That curse might override the positive
enchantment.”
“Maybe I can nullify it with a
chip,” Sherlock said, also dismounting.
“First let me find out what it
is,” Clio said.
“Don't risk-” he said,
alarmed.
But she was already touching the active
link.
Suddenly she was in Mundania; she
recognized it by the dull houses and listless vegetation. What had happened?
Whatever it was had put her into danger, because she had little idea how to
survive in this alien land. Worse, she had carried Drew Dragon into danger too;
he was now a frightened lizard in her pocket.
She tried to wind it back, but there
was no magic. She was stuck. She had thought she could provoke the danger,
identify it, then unwind it and avoid or nullify it. She had truly fouled up.
Then she saw a familiar figure: a very
old centaur. “Bsopmef!” she cried. And paused, amazed; it had come
out all wrong. Then she remembered: she couldn't even speak intelligibly in
Mundania.
But the centaur heard her and glanced
her way. Then he walked across. “You must have touched the
hyperlink,” he said. “It instantly transports folk to another
location.”
“Arnolde!” she repeated, and
this time it came out right, because she was in his aisle of magic. She felt
Drew recover his dragon identity. “I'm so glad to see you!”
“I shouldn't have left the chain
there,” he said apologetically. “I expected to be right back, and to
move it before anyone blundered into it, but my errand proved to be more
complicated than I expected.”
So it was not intended to be a danger,
except that her curse had made it so. At least now she could unwind it, because
of his magic ambience. Or could she? She might unwind only to her passage
through Mundania, and stall out in that dearth of magic. She was still in
trouble.
She would have to figure out another
way. “I am Clio, the Muse of History. I did touch the hyperlink. I should
have known better. But perhaps I can accompany you back to Xanth, when you
return.”
“I shall be happy to take you
back, Muse,” he said.
“What is your errand here, and how
did it complicate?”
“Demon Earth came to me in a
vision, and asked me to speak to David Baldwin on his behalf. It seems the
Demon has an interest in a certain young Mundane woman-”
“Jaylin,” Clio said,
remembering. “She visited Xanth and helped with the Swell Foop. But she
has a boyfriend.”
“David Baldwin,” he agreed.
“It seems that the Demoness Fornax has a connection with Jaylin, and Demon
Earth thought he might develop a similar connection with David. That way he
could have a certain relationship by proxy, since Jaylin is not interested in
any further association with a Demon.”
“And David isn't interested
either,” she said, seeing the problem.
“Yes. As you know, my talent is to
have an aisle of magic in Mundania. I had assumed it was some concentration of
magic within me, but it seems it is facilitated by natural energy of the Demon
Earth. His magic is gravity, and it seems I draw on that, translating its
energy to magic. He promises to greatly enhance it, if I am successful in
persuading David to cooperate. I am no longer young, and would like to have
that enhancement.”
Indeed, Arnolde was no longer young; he
was 135 years old, prevented from fading out only by magic and some Fountain of
Youth Elixir the Good Magician had provided. She appreciated his interest.
“Perhaps I can help,” she
said. “Rather, my friend Drew can help.”
“Glad to,” Drew said.
“How?”
“Telepathically convey my identity
and sincerity as I talk to David.”
“Talking isn't sufficient,”
Arnolde said. “I just tried. David doesn't like the idea of a Demon
snooping on his romantic life.”
“That is understandable, but I
fear he doesn't have a choice. Take us to him.”
“This way,” Arnolde said. He
led the way to a nearby house. Mun-danes were in the area, but they paid no
attention. “I have a disinterest spell,” the centaur explained.
“Otherwise I would attract unwelcome attention.”