Currant Events (26 page)

 “I will think of you only as
Kay.”

 The bell sounded. Clio brought Panion
out. I can fit it, the little screen said in illuminated script.

 “But would the fix remain after
you left her vicinity?”

 Wo.

 “Then I think it best to leave
well enough alone.”

 They moved on through the mountain, the
dragon following. “You have a relationship with Drek?” Drew asked
Kay.

 “Yes. I know, I'm a centaur, he's
a dragon, and not even a handsome one. But in this land we are able to change
forms, as you saw, if we manage it carefully, so we can match when we want to.
He was eschewed by other dragons because his breath is not the traditional
fire, steam, or smoke; it smells of perfume when he's happy, and like a sewer
stench when he's upset. Dragons ridicule that. But he's a decent person with a
fine mind. What more can a filly ask of a male?”

 “Nothing more,” Clio said,
appreciating what she herself saw in Sherlock.

 “I can see it,” Drew agreed.
“My love for Drusie is miscegenous, and would not have been allowed on
Dragon World.”

 “Miscegenation,” Kay agreed.
“We are annoyed by that term.”

 The bell sounded. Term?

 “Miscegenation means marriage
between races,” Clio explained. “Some folk object to it. It's largely
meaningless in Xanth, where a number of major species are crossbreeds, like the
mermaids, harpies, and werewolves.”

 “And centaurs,” Kay said.
“Even there, there can be a problem. The centaurs of Centaur Isle object
to winged centaurs as unwarranted crossbreeds with magic. They consider magic
to be obscene in centaurs.”

 Term?

 “Obscene,” Clio said.
“Morally offensive, indecent. A word often favored by narrow-minded
folk.”

 Kay laughed again. “Which describes
the residents of Centaur Isle.”

 “And Mundania,” Clio said.
“Do you know they don't believe in magic?”

 “Which is surely why it's such a
dreary dull place.”

 They emerged from the sidestep tunnel.
Counter Xanth spread out to the south, with lakes where mountains were in Xanth
proper, and hills where lakes were. It still managed to look much like Xanth,
but with an eerie difference.

 “Puns!” Clio exclaimed,
remembering. “There are no puns here.”

 “Yes, that is a considerable
relief,” Kay agreed. “This is really a fine land, as long as we avoid
the worst reversal zones, which I am doing. When your arrow points us into one,
we'll have to sidestep to avoid the consequences. We're not as familiar with
the southern region, but are extending our knowledge daily.”

 Clio looked back. Drek was emerging
from the invisible tunnel. “Drusie tells me Sherlock was impressed,”
Drew said.

 “It's an impressive land,”
Kay said. “Would you like to fly? I can orient more clearly on your
destination from above. Drek can follow; I won't go out of his sight.”

 “Yes, let's fly,” Clio said.
“I haven't flown a centaur before.”

 Kay flicked Clio and herself with her
tail to make them light, galloped, gaining speed, spread her great white wings,
and took off. Clio was exhilarated; there was just something about sailing up
from the ground, seeing the landscape pass beneath. Counter Xanth was even more
impressive when seen from above.

 “Now where do we go?”

 Clio checked the compass. “That
way,” she said, pointing. “South.”

 “South it is.” The centaur
winged swiftly onward.

 Clio glanced back and down, and saw the
dragon moving with excellent speed, keeping up. Probably Kay could fly faster,
but was taking care to remain in Drek's view. They were coordinating nicely.

 “And there,” Clio said in due
course, pointing again. They were approaching a large conical depression.

 “That's Mount Pin-a-Fore!”

 “That's no mountain,” Clio
said. “And it sounds like a pun. How can that be?”

 “It's merely my humor. That's
where Mount Pinatuba would be in Xanth, so it's a funnel instead of a cone, and
surely female instead of male, so I dub her Pin-a-Fore. I doubt she would find
it amusing.”

 “A female volcano,” Clio
said. “Inverted. That does make sense. That does seem to be my
destination.”

 “We must be cautious. She can be
unpredictable and ill-tempered.”

 “Just like a female,” Drew
said. Their words were being relayed by the dragons, so that it seemed that
they were in a single group, despite being in two groups.

 They laughed.

 The bell rang. 'What was that?

 “Drew Dragon said something
funny,” Clio said. “That being unpredictable and ill-tempered is just
like a female.”

 'That's not funny.

 “It is if you know it's not
so.”

 I don't understand.

 “That may simply be something you
will have to learn from experience.”

 That sounds like the Adult Conspiracy.

 “Perhaps it is, dear,” Clio
said, smiling somewhat wistfully. But apart from the humor, she wondered
whether she was about to encounter her danger for the day. She hardly relished
winding back a volcanic eruption.

 I don't like the Adult Conspiracy.
"Mother runs a site called Mate-Rix for true-love matchups, and they are
always alluding to things I'm not allowed to understand.

 They landed on the steep slope of the
funnel. The compass pointed down toward the center, where a pool of lava
bubbled like a boiling pot of stew. As they gazed at it, a fountain of fire
developed, lovely but dangerous. “I am not completely comfortable with
this,” Kay said. “Let's wait until the others catch up.”

 Soon enough they did. Sherlock and the
two women dismounted and stood gazing at the base of the funnel. “A lady
volcano,” Sherlock said. “What would she want with us? I'm sure she'd
much rather associate with Pinatuba.”

 “Which is of course
impossible,” Kay said. “Volcanoes can't travel, and if they could,
what would they do with each other? Share magma?”

 The fire fountain intensified. Pinafore
was evidently listening, and not thrilled with their remarks.

 Clio had a sudden idea. She glanced up
to see if a bulb flashed over her head, but there was none. That sort of thing,
too, was absent from this land. “We understand the heartache of having no
one of the opposite gender to associate with. Pinafore must be lonely. But
maybe we can do something about that.”

 The fire fountain smoothed out, becoming
less threatening.

 Sherlock nodded. “How so?”

 “Pinafore would surely like to be
in touch with Pinatuba, but can never meet him physically. However, she might
have a rewarding correspondence with him. Perhaps we can arrange that.”

 “I suppose we could carry messages
back and forth,” Sherlock said without enthusiasm.

 “I was thinking of the magic of
electronics. Panion needs a situation; she could be the magic net interface
with Xanth. She could receive and send messages on the Outernet that would travel
much faster than walking people could handle them.”

 The bell rang. 'Yes I could.

 “Let's see if Pinafore is
interested.” Clio faced the lava pool. “Would you be willing to keep
this little machine safe, if she relayed messages between you and the handsome
hot-coned Mount Pinatuba in Xanth?”

 The lava pool became so calm it was
almost reflective.

 “I take that as a Yes,” Clio
said. “Let's set it up now.” She looked around. “We need a good
safe place for Panion to stay. Normally her kind resides in caves, but there
doesn't seem to be-”

 She broke off, for there was a lava
tube cave. She set Panion just inside it. Immediately it developed curtains
with cuddly figures on them, and several scattered toys on the floor. It looked
like a child's playroom, by no coincidence.

 “Now about the messages,”
Clio continued. “Can you understand what Pinafore says?”

 'Yes.

 “And can she understand the
messages you receive?”

 An illusion appeared at the mouth of
the little cave: a big screen facing the pool. Hello, Pinafore. Show us a
sparse.

 A new fountain developed in the pool.
This one made a shower of bright fire sparkles.

 Kay nodded. “I think she's got
it.”

 This was working better than Clio had
hoped. “And can you transmit messages between here and Xanth?”

 The illusion collapsed into a pile of
glass and plastic rubble. Wo.

 Oops. “Why not?”

 I lack the conversion code.

 “I don't understand.”

 “But we do,” Cory said.
“Counter Xanth is crafted from contra-terrene matter, opposite to regular
matter. Xanth and Counter Xanth can never actually touch each other; they would
disappear in energy. Sidestepping enables us to travel between them, but
messages between them would disappear similarly. They need a conversion code so
they can make it safely across.”

 Clio's head felt overloaded, but she
took it on faith that this made sense. “How can the conversion code be
obtained?”

 Daddy has it.

 “Com Pewter has it,” Clio
repeated. “If we ask him for it, will he give it to us?”

 No.

 “Then what-?”

 'He'll send it to me. 'Then we'll have
the connection.

 It was beginning to make sense.
“So if we travel back to Xanth, and ask him, he'll send it, and Pewter and
Pinafore will be in electronic touch.”

 No.

 Clio had patience. “There is
another detail?”

 'You must explain to 'Mount Pinatuba,
and set up a terminal there.

 Ah. “And will Pewter have a
terminal to use?”

 'My brother Com Pound is with him.
'He's sort of violent.

 “Likes to hit things,”
Sherlock murmured with a straight face. “He should get along well with
Pinatuba.”

 “Then that's what we'll do,”
Clio said, relieved that this had turned out nice instead of ugly. That was
never a certainty when dealing with volcanoes.

 She glanced at the compass. Sure
enough, it pointed back the way they had come. They had completed another stage
of her quest.

 “We must give you a tour of
Counter Xanth,” Kay said. “You will want to experience some of the
reversals.” It did seem time to relax a bit.

 Kay and Drek took them back to the
northern side of the Gap Range, where they had more of the landscape . zeroed
in. Then they gave the tour. They had sidestep paths throughout, and Cory and
Tessa were on hand to get them out of any reversals that were unkind. It was
clear that these folk liked showing off their new land, and they were good at
it.

 “We have protected you from the
first reversal most folk encounter,” Tessa said. “Now you can
experience it, briefly.”

 “All we've seen is the inversion
of the terrain,” Sherlock remarked.

 “Speak your companion's
name.”

 “Oilc.” Then he looked
startled.

 “What's that, Kcolrehs?” Clio
asked. And was startled herself. “What did I say?”

 “You said his name backward,”
Tessa said. “Try our names.”

 “Asset,” Clio said.
“Yroc.”

 “Eisurd,” Drew said.

 “Werd,” Drusie said. Both
dragons laughed.

 “We're saying them backward,”
Sherlock said. “Without meaning to. It just comes out that way.”

 “In this section,” Cory
agreed. “Other sections have other reversals. Do you wish to experience
them?”

 “Oh, yes!” Sherlock said with
surprising pleasure.

 Clio remembered now: she had written
about this not all that long ago. It was different, experiencing it. “Yes,
as long as they are harmless or can be reverted to normal.”

 “That's why we are with you,”
Tessa said. “Yak and Kerd can handle them, but you could have problems.
This way.”

 “Yak” and “Kerd”
carried them to several other sections. Along the way they saw six-legged cows,
four-winged birds, and twin-hulled fish, the natural creatures of this land.
There were sparkling clouds of insects that didn't sting. Then the reversals:
in one section Clio and Sherlock, normally thin, became fat, and not with nice
curves. They reverted to normal the moment Cory and Tessa guided them back into
a sidestep aisle. In another they both became dull to the point of utter
stupidity, the opposite of their usual natures. Then something odd happened.

 “I'm a-I've got a-” Clio
said, appalled.

 “And I have two-” Sherlock
said. Indeed, he had become a middle-aged woman with a prominent bosom.

 “You reversed genders,” Cory
said, ushering them back into the aisle.

 “That was awful!” Clio said.

 “Yet for those dissatisfied with
their genders, this would be ideal,” Tessa said. “It's painless and
permanent, if they don't enter an aisle.”

 In another section, Sherlock turned
white and Clio verified with a mirror that she had become a member of the Black
Wave. Their clothing changed color too.

 In another, Sherlock became a thin
young man, while Cory and Tessa became thick old women. Young and old ages had
reversed. Clio didn't change. She realized that perhaps she had become as young
as she looked; since she was essentially ageless, it didn't show.

 In yet another, Cory and Tessa
exchanged heights. Clio and Sherlock hardly changed; they were average and
remained so. Thus being in the center range was a safeguard.

 Then Sherlock turned supremely handsome
without changing his age or color. And Clio had genuine curves.

 “You may stay the night here, if
you wish,” Cory said. “It is getting late.”

 “Kay and Drek are already bringing
food for supper,” Tessa said. “And a tent with bedding.”

 Clio started to protest, but couldn't
get the words out. To spend the night in this condition-it was wickedly
tempting. Where else was it even possible?

 “Why not?” Sherlock asked
rhetorically.

 They had a nice meal of wholesome
fruits and juices, with no boot rear or other puns. No pies either; they did
not grow on trees. It was odd but satisfying.

 Drew and Drusie elected to go with Drek
to see dragon things, knowing they were unlikely to have another chance. Both
of them found this land fascinating.

 “It is safe here,” Kay said.
“We'll pick you up in the morning.” She and the others departed.

 Thus suddenly, Clio and Sherlock were
alone. “You know this isn't coincidence,” Clio said.

 “They set it up,” he agreed.
“They regard us as a couple, and they assumed we would want to take full
advantage of this setting.”

 “Why did you agree to this?”

 “Because I relate singularly well
to this land, and want to experience more of it. Also, we have a serious matter
to discuss, and this gives us privacy we can't otherwise have.”

 He certainly had a point. “I
thought you might find a pretext to depart, once you saw me curveless.”

 “Let's prepare for bed, and talk
before we sleep.”

 Was he avoiding the issue? They took
turns washing in the nearby stream and changing to the night clothing their
hosts had thoughtfully provided. It was totally dark as they settled down
within the tent, lying beside each other.

 “Did you peek as I washed?”
she asked.

 “I did,” he admitted. “I
couldn't help myself. You are absolutely lovely.”

 “So did I. You are such a handsome
man, at the moment.”

 “It is true that I admired your
curves from the outset,” Sherlock said. “I am after all a man; this
is what men do. But that was never the main barrier between us.”

 “My supposed curves were a
barrier?”

 “Yes, because what would such a
beautiful woman want with an old and thoroughly ordinary man? My foolish days
are behind me; I learned realism about women the unkind way.”

 “And never married.”

 “I can't blame them. I never had
much to recommend me.”

 “You were a good and decent
man!”

 “What is your point?”

 This set her back. Obviously the woman
of the Black Wave had been more interested in handsome, powerful, or otherwise
impressive men. Sherlock had been unimpressive. She had seen it before; young
women could be foolish.

 “But I am not young, regardless of
my appearance, with or without curves,” she said. “I do value
decency. And you have other admirable qualities I have come to know. I would
like to have a closer relationship with you.”

 “Perhaps.”

 Now she was nettled. “Is it some
failing in me? I confess I have no direct personal experience with men. If I
have made blunders, perhaps that is to be expected. If I have offended you, I
deeply regret it. I hope you will tell me where I went wrong.”

 He reached out and took her hand in the
darkness. “You have not gone wrong, Clio. I think I love you.”

 She had hoped for candor, and for a
positive outcome, but this was more than anticipated. “You-think?”

 “I have learned caution in all
things. Things and people are not necessarily what they appear to be, or may
have hidden aspects. I myself am a constantly changing mystery, and not merely
because of my surprising affinity for reverse wood. I know better than to speak
with any certainty of my own emotion. But it seems to answer the description of
love.”

 She kept a tight rein on her own
emotion. “Isn't love impulsive and heedless of consequences?”

 “Young love is,” he agreed.
“But I am not young. I have made many mistakes in my life, and on occasion
learned things I would rather not have known. I would truly regret making a
mistake in love.”

 He was making absolute sense. She hated
it. “Can't you be romantic and impulsive this one night?”

 His answer was oblique. “You are
cursed to encounter danger every day of your life, while you are out in
Xanth.”

 “Yes, of course. You have seen
it.”

 “I have. What threat did you face
today?”

 She paused, reviewing the day.
“None that I know of. That's odd.”

 “It means you have yet to face
it.”

 “But we are assured of safety
here,” she said doubtfully.

 “Physical safety.”

 “Yes. What other kind is
there?”

 “Emotional. I suspect the danger
you face is passion. Perhaps it is that you wish to make a commitment that will
destroy you.”

 She was horrified. “To you?
Sherlock, I can't believe that you would ever seek to hurt me!”

 “Never intentionally. That is why
we are having this discussion.”

 “I don't understand.”

 “You are a princess and a Muse.
You must marry a prince. How could you do so if you soiled yourself with
me?”

 Her horror doubled. “You're not a
prince!”

 “I am not a prince,” he
agreed. “And will never be.”

 For a moment that was rather longer
than it should be, she was in chaos. Then she recovered. “Not so. When
ordinary girls marry princes, they become princesses. It happened to Electra
and to Jenny Elf. It works the other way, too; Princess Melody will marry
Anomie in the future and make him a prince. If I marry you, you'll be a
prince.”

 Now he paused. “I had not thought
of it that way. Still, you are the Muse of History, while I am nobody. I am not
worthy of you.”

 “I don't care about that!”

 “But I do, and consideration of
your curse seems to confirm it. You dare not waste yourself on me. That is the
threat you face today, and I must protect you from it.”

 “But you say you love me!”

 “Yes. I am doing my utmost not to
hurt you.”

 “I can't accept this.”

 “Then I will clarify the matter. I
know that before I can be anything other than a passing companion to you, I
must prove myself worthy of you. I doubt I will ever be able to do that, but I
don't know the future. Should I commit to you without that worthiness, you
would inevitably tire of me and regret your mistake.”

 “That is more brutally clear than
I like.”

 “But sensible. I would like
nothing better than union with you. But I must bring more than decency or even
love to it. Otherwise I would be tying you down.”

 “I can't stand this!”

 “You are being emotional. You are
cursed to die young, unless you remain continually on Mount Parnassus. You want
to experience life and love while you have the chance, knowing that your window
of opportunity is brief. You have fixed on me as a prospect, but I believe you
are being overwhelmed by the desire for romance rather than by sensible
consideration.”

 “That's not so!”

 “Then say you love me.”

 Clio opened her mouth-and burst into
tears. She couldn't say it. He had fathomed her feeling and found its weakness.
Her passion was driven by something other than true love.

 “Oh, Sherlock,” she said at
last. “I'm so sorry.”

 She felt his wan smile in the darkness.
“So am I.”

 So they slept, holding hands but doing
no more. They had achieved understanding, but it was awful. His present
handsomeness and her beauty were wasted on each other.

 In the morning they woke, cleaned,
dressed, and this time openly admired each other. It was all they could do,
each knowing the other wished for so much more. Clio had never been
flirtatious, but now she tried, and Sherlock responded. They were like lovers
who hadn't quite caught on. Unfortunately they had caught on, and the
understanding was brutal. The fault was in her, for the words she couldn't
quite say. Damn his honesty, and hers.

 In due course the others arrived. Tell
nothing, Clio thought silently to Drew. She knew Sherlock was warning
Drusie similarly. The truth could not be concealed from the little dragons, but
it did not have to be shared with anyone else.

 Cory and Tessa opened a sidestepping
aisle, and Karia and Drek carried them along it, back to the central mountain
range and the tunnel to Xanth proper. Clio thanked the centaur and dragon for
their kindness.

 Back at the Gap Chasm house, Cube took
one look at them and winced. “Oh, I'm sorry.”

 We didn't tell,Drew thought.

 Cube immediately carried on with other
matters, saying no more. Cleo realized that it was simply woman's intuition.
Women could have very sharp awareness of the feelings of others. Neither Clio
nor Sherlock were romantically experienced; they probably emitted unconscious
signals. They would have to watch that.

 They thanked Cory and Tessa, and Cube
and Ryver, and went back up to the invisible bridge. But they did not go over
it; their next connection would be with Com Pewter, to set up the connection
between realms. Pewter resided north of the Gap.

 They followed the enchanted path
generally north. “Walking seems slow, after the rides we had,”
Sherlock remarked.

 “I agree,” she said,
laughing. It felt good to laugh; it eased the pain of her personal failure.
“We have become spoiled.”

 “Let's be spoiled. Can we find
rides? I'm willing to trade reverse wood chips, if anyone wants them.”