Crimes of the Heart (6 page)

“Do we have to talk about the past anymore? It’s not a subject I’m partial to.” A chill entered her tone, erecting walls between her and him.

What had happened to the woman who’d revealed so much minutes ago? Did she regret it? Probably. “It’s not like we can sweep it out the door like yesterday’s trash, Jewel. It’s not that easy.”

She heaved a long, drawn out sigh. “God, I wish it was.”

Raking a hand through his hair, he silently agreed. “And if we could, would I be tossed out, too?”

Spinning around, she found and held his stare. Hers revealed a wealth of conflicting emotions that sliced clear through him.

“Maybe,” she whispered. “If only to stop the way we keep hurting each other. I don’t want to feel this…this aching inside of me any more, Devon.”

He not only glimpsed her misery, he throbbed with his own. “Why do we do it then?”

“We can’t help ourselves? Or we can’t seem to break this connection we share? I don’t know. I wish I could pull the answers out of a hat.”

Standing, he walked to her, and then jammed his hands in his pockets when he stood only a foot away. Longing swept over him. He yearned to touch her again, to taste those sweet lips one more time. “Maybe we need to find the answers together. Have you thought about what I said earlier?”

Dropping her gaze to his chest, she said, “I can barely think of anything else. I want the best for Sean.”

His middle clenched. “And I’m not it, is that what you’re implying?”

She brushed past him, leaving a trail of heat blazing down his arm where she’d touched. Turning, he noted Jewel hugging herself as she faced the lovely quilt.

“I don’t know who you are, who you’ve become. I don’t even know if I knew the real you years ago. You could say the same for me, Devon.”

Bile rose to his throat, nearly choking him. “So, your answer is no then.”

“I didn’t say that.”

Confused, he pointed out, “You’re talking in riddles. Yes or no, will you renew our wedding vows so you and Sean can come live with me?”

The butterflies that took up residence in her middle the moment she agreed to renew her vows to Devon five days ago fluttered wildly now. Jewel pressed a shaky hand to her stomach as she sat on her bed applying creamy white polish to her toenails.

The stillness of the night closed in. Silence throbbed all around her. Packed boxes, stacked in readiness to be moved to Devon’s, stood forlornly in the corner, reminding Jewel her life was about to change drastically. The overhead light provided illumination, but not enough to chase away the shadows inside her. Doubts crept up, stealing away any semblance of reason. Twisting slightly, she glanced at the red numbers on the alarm clock.

She groaned. “Just one o’clock.”
How am I ever going to make it through the next ten hours?

A fresh wave of anxiety rolled over her as she contemplated what the morning would bring. Mrs. Devon Marshall. Devon’s wife. All that the titles meant weighed on her. The burden seemed to increase every time she considered the ramifications of what they were about to do. A public wedding. A public marriage.

“Just remember Sean,” she whispered over and over again, leaning forward to stroke the polish-dripping brush over her big toe nail. The crooked line left behind only made her chuckle. It came out raw and strangled.

A part of it caught in the back of her throat. A sob escaped, and then another. “No, don’t do this. Don’t fall apart now.”

Taking a deep, steadying breath, she willed herself to finish the task at hand. Five long minutes later, she screwed the cap back on the bottle.

With nothing left to do, her thoughts quickly returned to Devon, her husband.
He’s a stranger.
“Where’s the young man I knew and loved years ago? Where had he gone?” She’d witnessed glimpses of the person she’d known, too few to reassure her that the warm, caring man still existed.
Has the accumulation of wealth eradicated all the things I admired?

“No, they’re there when he looks at or talks to Sean.” She held onto that image, clutching it to her heart. His features softened, a slight smile formed, and his eyes lost the hardness whenever Sean was near. “Our son.”

At least she could give that to both of them.
But what about me?
What will it be like to live with him? What will it be like to sleep beside him…to make love again? A quiver racked her body. Desire pulsed between them every time she was in the same vicinity as him. Her body betrayed her.
Will my heart?

“You, ninny, that’s what you’re afraid of. You’re afraid of falling in love with him again. Maybe because you never fell out of love with who he was.” At that admission, she moaned in pain. “Damn you, Devon Marshall, for making me love you then. And damn you, for not loving me, then or now.”

A hollow ache swamped her at the precarious position she’d gotten herself into. He didn’t want her. He needed her for what she could give him, their son and his vengeance.
A rich man’s trophy, just like mom was. Just don’t be stupid and give him my heart this time.

Several pings sounded against her window in rapid succession. Blinking, Jewel focused on the blackness just beyond the glass. Shaking her head, she tried to brush aside a flood of memories from yesteryear. The noise came again. “No, it can’t be him.”

Rushing to the window, she twisted the lock, and then hefted the heavy wood casing. The chilly night air attacked her, making her shiver in her thin, cotton nightshirt. Peering outside, she immediately spotted Devon in the sliver of moonlight. “Go away,” she hissed.

“Jewel, oh sweet dollface.” His speech sounded slurred and he seemed to be having trouble standing.

Frowning, she asked, “Are you drunk?”

His shook his head back and forth as he said, “Nope, not one bit.” Suddenly, he fell backward. A muffled clump, then a loud grunt told her he’d hit the ground hard. “Well, maybe I am just a teeny weenie bit.”

Clamping her hand over her mouth, she tried not to laugh at his predicament. When she got ahold of herself, she dropped her hand. “What are you doing here? And where’s your coat? It’s freezing out here. Did you drive in your condition?”

An oath sliced the air as he stumbled to his feet, weaving. “Yep. I just closed one eye and followed the white line.” Triumph laced his explanation.

The heat of anger warmed her body. “Are you crazy? You could have killed yourself or someone else.”

“I didn’t know you cared.”

Muttering a curse under her breath, she noticed he advanced toward the side of the house and out of her line of vision. Bending over the sill, she peered at the thick shrubbery he’d disappeared into. “Devon? Where are you?”

A rustling sound from below rose to Jewel. “I’m gonna see my bride.”

“Don’t you dare climb my trellis, Devon Marshall!”

A hearty chuckle floated to her on the crisp, autumn air. “Too late, boss lady.”

Half of her berated him for his foolhardiness. The other half, the part that recalled many nights of anticipation waiting for him to come for her, rejoiced in this sudden display of wild abandonment. She clung to that notion that the old Devon could emerge from time to time, sweeping away her nagging doubts about marrying a stranger in just hours.

A few knocks, wood scratching wood, and several swear words later, Devon popped his head into view. A wicked grin transformed his sober features into a breathtaking roguishness that robbed her of speech. A curl of heat twined low in her abdomen, twisting in sweet agony.

He winked at her. “Hello, dollface.”

A giggle erupted, releasing a small amount of her nervous excitement. “Hello, handsome.”

At the use of his nickname, his smile widened and his deep-set eyes, dark in the dim lighting of the silvery moon, sparkled with delight.

Standing tall in her room, Jewel planted her hands on her hips and tapped her foot. “Well, now that you’re here do you plan to just stay there or come in?”

His hot, lazy perusal lingered where her hands pulled the material tight across her body. A tingly sensation bubbled in her veins.

Slapping his hand over his chest, he said, “Oh, milady, how can a gentleman like myself accept such a tempting invitation?”

She played along. “Because, kind sir, you’re not.”

“You doubt me?” Dramatically, he flung an arm out, saying, “I am crushed.” The movement shifted his body and he lost his balance.

Swiftly, she bent and reached out, grabbing a handful of his black T-shirt. Half pulling, half-dragging, she yanked on the fabric and him. He tumbled into the opening, and then crashed to the floor on top of her.

A whoosh of air escaped her parted lips. Remaining still, she tried to access the damage. Nothing broken.

He rolled onto his back, holding her to him so now her head lay on his chest and her body lay on him. “Jewel, did I hurt you?”

Being in his arms once again stole any answer or sanity she had. For long moments, she remained there, relishing the powerful muscles surrounding her, the strength, and the delicious heat. The clean scent of him tickled her senses.

Gingerly, his hands stroked her in places only he’d touched. The feel of his calloused hands through the thin barrier only made her yearn for more.

His lips brushed her ear when he turned his head to her. A responding quiver racked her body.

“Speak to me, dollface, are you hurt?”

The worry in his tone prompted her to say, “No.”

He heaved a sigh. “Thank God.” His caresses continued, seeking, heating. He stilled. “Christ, you’re not wearing any panties.”

A purely feminine smile inched up the corner of her mouth. “Does that bother you?”

His heartbeat thundered beneath her ear and his breaths came in short pants. Cupping her bottom in his hands, he pressed her into him, making her hiss at the thick, male arousal digging into her. “You know it does.”

Burying his hands in her hair, he murmured, “Why is it that every time I care about someone they end up deserting me when I need them the most?”

Jewel frowned. His momentarily sober mood had vanished to be replaced with the slurred speech once again.

“What are you talking about, Devon?”

“I loved him and her. But did it matter? No, not one bit. He up and died on me. And she…she slept with the bastard you called a father.”

His parents! Raising her head enough to look down at him, she asked, “And me, how am I involved in all this?”

His stare, dark and unreadable, unnerved her.
Is he really seeing me?
Long, roughened fingertips caressed her jaw, and then trailed down her neck. The warmth his touch generated fanned out to encompass her whole body. Desire flared anew.

“Devon?”

Her breathy whisper must have penetrated his foggy haze; he answered, “What happened? You were supposed to be my best friend.” Bitter disappointment rang in his accusation.

A slice of pain ripped through her. “I was.”

The hand on her neck tightened slightly. “No, you weren’t. Friends don’t do what you did.”

“I loved you.” Her declaration broke on a sob.

He cupped her face between his hands. “You were the only friend I had and you sold out to your old man instead of standing by me, your husband. I’ll never forget and I’ll never forgive you for that.”

Her heart twisted at what he’d revealed. Guilt washed over her for her part in ruining their relationship. She’d wanted the fairy tale marriage she’d always dreamed of but ended up with a sham. She could have tried harder, done more. But so could he.

A second later, his eyes closed and his hands fell away. “Damn you for passing out on me,” she muttered as conflicting emotions swarmed inside her. He’d spoken of friendship. But what about years of plotting his revenge on the Wainwrights?

Disgusted with him for creating chaos inside her and herself for falling under his charm once again, Jewel slid off Devon, and then straightened her nightwear around her thighs.

A soft knock on the door had her jerking her head up. “Mom, you okay in there?”

“Yeah, come on in, honey.” When he entered, she smiled at her pajama-clad son holding a bat.

He nodded to Devon. “Is dad gonna be all right?”

Waving a hand over Devon’s prone figure, she said, “There’s no need to worry. He’s just asleep.”

“Geez, did he climb in the window?”

“’Fraid so.”

“That must have been the bang I heard in my sleep. When I finally woke up all the way and heard voices I figured you might need me. So I grabbed my bat and came to see if everything was all right.” He moved into the room, dropping the bat on the bed as he made his way to the other side of Devon. “He reeks of beer.”

“Come on, I think between the two of us we can drag him into my bed.”

Sean shot her an indignant glare. “No way! He’s sleeping in the bottom bunk of my bed. I’m not letting him take advantage of you again. He may have fooled around with you before your first wedding, but he’s not gonna get the chance before the second one. This time you guys are gonna get it right.”

Shaking her head, Jewel could only wonder at this grown-up version of a boy.
My protector.
“All right, honey. It’s getting pretty chilly in here. Can you reach over and close the window from there?”

Doing as asked, he yanked down on the frame. It slammed shut, causing the glass to rattle at the impact.

A few minutes later, after much tugging and with a small amount of cooperation from Devon, Jewel supported him under one arm while Sean did the same under the other. “Just put one foot in front of the other,” she coaxed as she nudged his leg to take a step.

He chuckled, obeying her. “Isn’t that a part of a song? Where’s that from anyway?”

Sean glanced across Devon’s chest to her. “Are all drunks this nutty, Mom, or is it just dad?”

“Hey, take that back,” Devon demanded, halting in his tracks.

She tried to contain the giggle that bubbled up, but failed.

“I like when you laugh, dollface. I missed that and a whole lot of other things.” The seductive quality of his voice sent a thrill through her veins.