Creed of Redemption (S.I.N. Rock Star Trilogy #2) (11 page)

Diesel comes back into the room and locks the door.

“Everything okay?” I don’t want to come between him and my brother.

“It’ll be fine. Let’s see what we can find to watch on this damn TV,” he says grabbing the remote. “I’ll cook us up something to eat in a little bit, unless you’re hungry now. You didn’t eat your pancakes at the diner.”

“No. I’m good for now. I did eat the eggs and fruit before you came in. My stomach is still a little queasy from the alcohol so I’m not ready for anything heavy,” I assure.

“Cool.” He flips through the channels until he finds my favorite show,
Elementary
. He then pulls me to him like before, only this time, we’re not going to sleep. We’re…cuddling. This is probably a terrible idea. As a matter of fact, I’m sure of it. For now I’m going to enjoy it, though. He chose me over Ivy this time. He chose our bubble.

L
ourdes watches one of her favorite shows,
Elementary
. She was a little more than excited to see that it was airing the new season. I think my brother watches this too. I’ve seen it recorded on our DVR back at the lake house. She is asleep now, snuggled underneath me. I flip through the channels as I feel myself getting drowsy. I need to get up and cook us something. I need to make her eat. To my surprise the door swings open and it catches me off guard. I thought I fucking locked that door. It’s Xander, but I don’t bother to move. The scene before him is what it is. He walks in and pauses when he sees his sister in my arms.

“You care about her don’t you?” he starts.

“Of course I do, Xander.” He has no idea the extent of it.

“Look, I apologize for my earlier accusations. Truth is, I wasn’t there and you were. I’m honestly just glad she had someone when she needed it the most,” Xander reassures me.

“Where’s Ivy?” I know the bus hasn’t stopped again since our last conversation.

“She’s watching Keyser and Gable battle each other in dominos,” he informs me.

“Any other members from Reckless Ambition here?”

He shakes his head. “Just her.” I know I need to talk with Ivy. I’m not sure if there will be a round two. This is why I wanted to abandon the three fuck rule on the road. I don’t want to give her false hope.

“I understand. If it were my sister, I would be just as protective.” I ease my arm out from under her and leave the room. As soon as I enter the living area, Ivy is on her feet.

“Finally,” she huffs. “What the hell?”

“Don’t,” I caution her. “Lourdes is my friend. I’m not trying to be a douche, but why are you here?” I’m not going to curb my concern to pacify her. Yeah, we fucked, but it was a mutual want. I’m not her boyfriend and I don’t owe her any explanations.

“I wanted to see you. I don’t make it a habit of just fucking someone and then not speaking with him.” There is an uncomfortable pause in the room. The guys don’t know how to react.

“Just stop, Ivy.” I wanted her to come out and acknowledge that she wanted to see me, although it was uninvited, but she is making me regret giving a shit. On cue the bedroom door creaks open. Lourdes peeks out so I go to her.

“What do you want to eat?” She needs to eat something. “We have tuna salad already made.” I don’t know what else is in there, or what everybody else ate tonight, but I remember we have the tuna salad I made earlier.

“That sounds nice,” she says softly.

“Well, go find something else for us to watch, and I’ll bring some to you.” She nods and closes the door again.

“Fuck you, Diesel. You fuck me, yet you pamper her. I’m getting off of this fucking bus right now. Consider my legs officially closed to you.” She marches toward the front of the bus, I’m guessing to request that they let her off.

“Do you and Lourdes have a thing, Diesel?” Lily asks timidly. I know my actions toward Lourdes are confusing. Hell, it doesn’t make sense to me either.

“I’m just being there for a friend, Lil,” I assure. “We’re just friends.”

“Okay,” she replies sounding unconvinced. I make some toast, pour orange juice, and plate some tuna salad before bringing our spread to the room. Lourdes has another episode of Elementary on pause.

“Is this show okay?”

“Yeah. We can watch anything you want.” I’m fucking up and I know it. There is no doubt we both see this room as the place to indulge in what we’re feeling. In this room we don’t have to think about the reality of our actions. I set the tray down with the spread I created and she smiles from ear to ear. I climb into bed and pull her between my legs.

“What are we doing, Diesel?” she asks while putting the tray in her lap.

“Ignoring the world out there,” I say, pointing toward the door.

“I kind of like that idea,” she says spreading tuna on toast. She passes it to me. I take a bite, but then I feed her the second bite. Yeah, were slipping further and further into dangerous territory. I repeat over and over to myself that I can’t give her all of me. On the other hand, if this is all we can have, I’ll gladly take it. We eat all the food I prepared and vegetate through at least three, hour-long episodes of her show, before she dozes off again. I power off the TV and snuggle in close until I fall asleep with her.

Tonight we will perform our second show. I’m in the living area writing music. Lourdes is in her bunk working on her account of our journey thus far. We both realized that we couldn’t hide in our bubble forever. We were beginning to cast suspicion on ourselves, not that I give a shit at all.

Ivy is giving me the cold shoulder and I’m okay with that. I didn’t know how to proceed with that anyway. It just all seemed wrong after the fact. The lyrics flow seamlessly and I can’t get them on paper faster enough. Shit that I’ve previously internalized, comes full circle. I leave every last ounce of my troubling thoughts in the bars of the music. I’m in a zone when my phone goes off. I would ignore it, but it’s Issues’
Blue Wall
playing. That’s Sevyn’s ringtone. Our relationship has been strained, for obvious reasons, so we haven’t spoken much since he told me our father was dying. Maybe that is why he’s calling.

“Yeah,” I say when I answer.

“Hello, brother,” he says hesitantly. “Do you have a minute?”

“What’s up?” I just want him to get to the point. “Is our father dead or not?”

“Not yet. I’m calling because he is going away to London next week. He says it’s just for one last visit while his health will allow, but I’m not buying it. Morgan Investments is located there. I think he may be trying to partner with them before making the announcement about his health to the shareholders and board members in a couple weeks.” That’s not good. If he brings someone else in, that can weaken Sevyn’s controlling votes. We need him to have the majority vote. Another member can side with the shareholders, giving them the overall majority. That would ruin everything.

“Shit. How do we block that?”

“I have an idea, but you may not like it. I need to see you.” I can hear the desperation in his voice. I need him to keep it together. We’ve worked too hard on this to let it fall apart now.

“Look. We’re on the way to Santa Clara. Can you get a flight and meet us there?” The guys know I have a twin now so he can join us while we work through this mess. We need a solid plan. I’ll hear out his idea, but we need to be in agreement. This affects us both.

“I can do that. I can get a flight out this evening actually,” he agrees.

“Okay. We’re playing at Levi’s Stadium tonight, but I’ll give your info to our driver. It will either be Gus or Stewart. They can make sure you have a ride from the airport. Wish you could come see us perform.” We can’t afford for him to accidentally be seen at the concert. Not before we pull off our plan.

“Me too. Soon, brother.” I give him the info he needs before hanging up. I need to tell Lourdes so she isn’t blindsided for a second time. She is typing away on her Mac on her bunk when I find her.

“Hey,” she says looking up at me. She gives me a little smile.

“Sevyn is coming here,” I rush out. I watch the smile disappear. We haven’t even discussed the reason he was at the lake house. We just kind of buried it and now we’re reopening those wounds.

“Why?” she questions. “I mean whatever. I don’t care.” She closes her computer and rummages frantically through the bag next to her. I reach over and still her trembling hands.

“Lourdes, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I haven’t talked to you about my brother, but I will. I never wanted to hurt you. When Sevyn gets here, we’ll sit down and discuss the reason we’re carbon copies of one another. The reason he can’t be seen with me. I didn’t want you to be blindsided again so I wanted to be the first to tell you he’s coming here.”

“Okay.” I let her hands go and she pulls earphones out of her bag. I need to give her some space. She won’t even look at me now. She connects the earphones to her phone and cranks up the volume. I can hear Mochica’s
Scared
coming from the tiny speakers. She turns to lie on her back and closes her eyes. I guess that’s my indication that this conversation is over. Sevyn and I haven’t shared our full story with anyone, not even my guys. Tonight I will tell Lourdes. She deserves that much. It’s the most sincere apology that I can give. My redemption.