Crashing Into You (8 page)

“Hello Evan,” Lukas said,
slightly bitter. He took a seat on the other side of the table.

“Oh, hi Lukas.” Evan had only
met him once, so I was happily surprised he remembered his name.
 

“What are you doing here?”

“Doing what everyone else is,
I guess. Just cramming before Monday.”

“Do you have a final on
Monday?” Lukas looked down at his book, but it was obvious he wasn't reading
the words.

“Yeah, actually, you won't
believe this.” Evan sighed, and shoved his palm over his face. “I have
three
.”

“Really?” I looked at him. “Oh
God, that sucks!”

“Yeah, it’s never happened
before. But at least come Tuesday I'm almost done.”

Evan rambled for a few
seconds, but I allowed his voice, as deep and sexy as it was, to drain from my
senses. Instead, I watched his body movement, his gestures, his every glance. I
watched how he slid his tongue between his lips, and how his dimples appeared
and disappeared with every sentence that escaped his mouth. He had slicked his
hair back in a way that allowed for even more curls to flip up under his ears.
I wanted to run my fingers underneath them, bring my hand to the back of his
neck—and pull him toward me.

“Syd? Are you okay?” he asked.

I blinked. “Huh?”

“You’re kind of… staring.”

“Oh!” I dropped my arms down
to the table, and brought my gaze back to the sociology notes. I shot my eyes
toward Lukas. He had a stupid little grin on his face. “Sorry,” I said. “I must
have spaced.”

“You’re probably just tired
of studying,” Evan said, and rested his hand on the back of my chair.

“No, no, I'm fine. I have
another hour in me.”

Evan pulled the binder closer
to him, and he started taking his own notes, from my list of definitions. We all
sat in silence for a minute or two, as Lukas continued with his history notes,
and I pretended to focus on sociology.

Lukas kept his head down. I tried
to make eye contact with him, time and time again, to no avail. He stretched
out his arms, and finally looked at me. I opened my eyes real wide, like an
optometrist was shining a light on them, and motioned my head toward Evan.

Lukas narrowed his eyes. Glanced
at Evan, then back at me. He shrugged.

All right, I had to mouth it.
I pointed my finger toward the library exit and mouthed, “Can you go?”

He still didn’t get it. He
leaned in closer.

I pointed, with a little more
energy, and Evan noticed. When he turned to me, I smiled, and tapped my finger
against my chin, like I wasn't up to any mischief. I brushed my hand through my
hair, and mouthed it again, when Evan turned away. Just one simple word: “Go!”

He squinted his eyes even
more, so I finally just leaned back in my chair, pointed at Evan, and kissed my
wrist a few times.

“Ohhh,” Lukas said, finally
getting the hint. He rolled his eyes.

Evan looked up. “Oh, what?”

Lukas dropped his notebook in
his backpack and hooked his pen to his shirt. “Oh, I'm, uhh... I’m pretty burnt
out, I don't know about you guys.”

“Really? But the library
doesn’t close until 11,” I said, pretending like I hadn't just begged him to
leave.

“I think it’s best I get to
bed early, and start again in the morning.” He stood up and gave us both a
wimpy wave. “Talk to you guys later.”

“All right, bye,” I said. I
watched Lukas leave the library. I felt bad, but I hoped he understood.

“Do you have Mr. Hernandez’s
notes about assimilation?” Evan asked. He was so focused. I never saw him like
this, ever.

“Oh, yeah, that’s on a different
page, hold on.” I started flipping through my binder. Those notes were from
March. I found the page, pressed my index finger on the section he was looking
for. “Right there.”

“Oh, awesome.” He pushed his
finger against mine. I didn’t pull away.

I turned my head toward his.
Our cheeks were almost touching. He kept his eyes down on the binder paper,
while I gazed at his face, at the stubble on his chin, at the thickness of his
lips. I paid close attention to my breaths; they got deeper with each exhale.

He still didn't look at me.
He had to know I was staring. How could he not? Was he playing some kind of
game with me? Or was he sincerely focused on his studies?

I had to say something. Had
to burst the awful tension. “You, uhh…” I scooted away from him. “You want a
drink of water or something?”

He still didn’t look at me.
“No, I’m fine, thanks.”

“I’m pretty thirsty. I’ll be
right back.”

I stepped toward the nearest
drinking fountain, but didn’t make it all the way. I found a bookshelf that
blocked me from Evan, and I slammed my back up against it. I shoved my fist
against the closest book, hard, and breathed through my nose a few times. I tried
to calm down. I was shaking, with fear, with love, with an insane desire for
everything Evan.

“But he's taken,” I said.

By my roommate, of all
people.

What the hell was wrong with
me?

Chapter 10

By the time I regained composure,
I realized I was thirsty after all. I took a few sips from the fountain, and
wiped my chin clean.

A sense of dread swept over
me as I headed back to Evan, like when I returned to the table he would be long
gone. But I didn't have to worry; there he was, still flipping through my
pages, still jotting down a flurry of notes.

He scratched his stubble, and
looked up at me. “Hey,” he said, then averted his eyes back to the text.

“Hey.” I sat back down. It
was obvious he wasn’t interested in me. Every time I thought he might have been,
he ignored me enough to make it plain and clear:
we’re just friends, dummy
.

I grabbed my pen, and starred
all the terms on my list I didn’t know yet. I sighed, quietly, and tried to
focus.
 

We quizzed each other back
and forth on some definitions, until a woman who appeared as old as the
university itself stopped by our table and said, “Library’s closing.”

Evan helped me pack up, and
we went out a side exit. We were two of the last students to leave the
building.

Outside it was dead quiet,
like Evan and I had all of LMU to ourselves. We turned onto the nearest
sidewalk, and I glanced up at the night sky.

“Huh,” I said. “That's
interesting.”

“What is?”

“Melanie said it was supposed
to rain today. It never did.”

He followed my gaze, then
kicked a small rock to the grass. “Guess we got lucky.”

We stopped at the edge of the
sidewalk, where our paths were about to diverge. “So what are you gonna do
now?” I asked.

“Nothing.” Evan put his arms
over his head. “I think I’m just gonna crash.”

“You’re not going to that
party?”

“Nah, probably not.” He took
out his phone. “Mel hasn’t texted me, which usually means she’s having a good
time. I’m just not really feeling it, you know?”

“No, I know.
Trust
me, I know.”

He laughed, and put his phone
away. “Plus, I can't afford to wake up hung-over tomorrow. I've got too much
studying to do.”

Evan looked so handsome under
the bright moonlit sky. Confessing he had to skip a party in order to study
made me want to wrap my arms around his back and jump his bones, right there in
the open.

“Can I walk you back to your
dorm?” he asked, finally.

“That sounds perfect,” I
said.

We headed up the dirt trail
behind the library, toward McCarthy Hall, and he stayed right next to me the
entire time. I could have sworn he tried to grab my hand, but it was probably
my imagination, yet again.

“So we still haven't talked
about last night,” he said. “Are you and Mel okay?”

“We're fine,” I said. I bit down
on my tongue in protest. I didn't want to talk about this. “I just panicked a
little. It’s not a big deal.”