Crashing Into You (10 page)

I spun back around. I
couldn’t think about Saturday, about Evan, anymore. I had a test to take.

We were allowed two hours,
but I finished in about seventy-five minutes. That fear I had all morning of
opening the booklet to page one and my mind going blank didn’t last past the
first question. I destroyed the test, in the multiple choice, in the essays. When
I walked out of the classroom, I felt like Wonder Woman, albeit without the
Spanx.

My confidence level shrunk, however,
when Evan stepped out of the room barely two minutes later, and headed straight
toward me. One second I felt like I could save the planet, and the next I
wanted to hide under the nearest bench. I didn’t know what to do. Hug him?
Shake his hand? Play it cool and ignore him? Wrap my arms around him and shove
my tongue down his throat?

“Hey,” he said. “You want to
get some breakfast? I don’t have my next final until 11.”

He looked so relaxed, so at
ease, not weird around me at all. I nodded my head toward the food court. “Yeah,
okay.”

We sat outside again, me with
my fruit cup, Evan with his eggs and waffle platter. We talked about the final
for a few minutes, but my curiosity got the best of me.

“So did you and Melanie hang
out yesterday?”

He didn’t answer right away;
his mouth was full of scrambled eggs and syrup. “Uhh, no. I slept in until,
like, two in the afternoon, then went surfing with Zach. I didn’t start
studying until late last night. That's why I almost didn't make it on time to
the final, I overslept.”

He made a few points in his long
rant, but I only focused on one. “You slept in until
two
? God, you must have been tired. Did you go out Saturday night?
You know, after we—”

Out of nowhere, he started
coughing. After a few awkward seconds I prepared myself to give him the
Heimlich maneuver, but then he put his hand out to assure me he was okay.
“Whoa,” he said, and took two large gulps of his water. “Sorry about that.”

“Careful,” I said. I slapped
him lightly on his back. “You don’t want to be the first person in history to choke
on a waffle.”

He laughed. “Hey, I bet it’s
happened before.” He coughed, one last time, then darted his eyes away from me.
He almost looked like he was hiding something. “Listen, Syd, I wanted to
apologize. I don’t know what came over me on Saturday.” He doused his waffle
with more syrup and shoved a big chunk of it into his mouth.

“It’s okay. You don't have to
say you're sorry.” I meant to say more, but I hesitated. Were we really going
to talk about this now, while he was busy shoveling in his breakfast like a
hungry grizzly bear?

When he put his fork down, I
almost thanked him. “Things have been kind of frustrating with Mel for a while,
but that’s no excuse. I still love her, I want to make things right with her. Actually...
I'm a little scared.”

I tried not to show my
disappointment in what he was saying. “Scared? Why?”

“Because. I think she might
know.” He glanced behind him, to make sure no one else was listening. “You
know… that I kissed you.”

I narrowed my eyes. “You
didn’t exactly
kiss
me, Evan.”

“Didn’t I?”

I decided not to go into
specifics. “How in the world would she know?”

“I have no idea. We were
outside. Someone could have seen us.” He tapped his thumbs against the table. “I
wasn't thinking straight.”

“Did she say something to you?”

“No, nothing, that's the
thing. I haven't even seen her. I texted her yesterday after I woke up, then
called her last night. She didn't answer.”

“Wait, really?”

He pushed his plate aside, and
set his elbows down. “What? What's the matter?”

“When's the last time you saw
her? Saturday?”

“Uh huh.”

“That's so weird.” I took a
bite of pineapple and set my chin against my palm. “I figured she was with you
last night.”

“Why's that?”

“She didn’t come back to the
dorm. At least, I don’t think she did.”

He bit down on his tongue.
“That
is
weird. Can you call her real
quick?”

“Yeah, sure.” I took out my
phone, dialed her. Tapped my fingernails against the table as I waited through
the six long rings. I got her voice-mail, again. “Hey Melanie, it’s Sydney.
It’s Monday morning, close to 10 or so. Just wanted to…” I stopped. I didn’t
want to tell her I was worried about her, I needed to be more specific. “I had
a quick question for you. Can you call me back when you get a sec? It's really
important. Okay. Bye.”

“That was perfect,” Evan
said. “Hopefully she gets back to you soon. Cuz she doesn't seem to want to
talk to me right now.”

I forced a smile. “I bet she
does. Something probably happened. Maybe her phone died.”

“Yeah, maybe.” He grabbed his
plate, and stood up from the table. “Well, I should get going. One final down,
two more to go.”

“Oh God, that's right. Good
luck on those.”

“Thanks.” Evan picked up his
backpack and slung it over his shoulder. He glanced at his cell phone. Let out
a pained sigh.

“I’m sure it’s nothing,” I
said. I hated seeing him worry. “She’s probably just busy with finals. I think
she said she had at least one today, if not two. I can’t remember.”

“I hope so,” he said. “I
mean, tomorrow's our anniversary. She can’t hide from me forever.” He headed
toward the entrance door, and waved at me. “I'll talk to you later, okay?”

“Okay. Bye Evan.”

I sighed as he left. It
didn't look like he was going to break up with her any time in the near future.
But what about Melanie? Maybe she would be the one to do it. Maybe even on
their anniversary.
 

I watched him walk back into
the building, and focused my eyes on his perfectly round ass.

“I’ll get you, Evan Taylor,”
I whispered. “I’ll get you if it’s the last thing I do.”

Chapter 12

I headed back to my dorm for
a few hours, before my second final of the day. I surfed the web for a while,
sent out a few e-mails, watched the latest episode of
Game of Thrones
. I was all by my lonesome, yet again. No Melanie.

At 2 PM I had my atmospheric
science final, which, for a low-level core class, was ridiculously hard.
Granted, I hadn’t studied for this one as much as the sociology test, but
still: I walked out feeling not like Wonder Woman, but like Superman wearing a full
body suit made of Kryptonite.

I had another final Tuesday
bright and early at 8 AM, for Ethics 150, so I spent most of Monday night in
the library, with Lukas, pouring over notes,
again
.

At 10:45, Lukas closed his
binder and threw it against the floor. “That's it!” he said. “I'm done! I can't
take it anymore!”

I opened my mouth to say
something, but he slammed his forehead against the desk before I had the chance.
He didn’t move. Didn’t even seem to breathe for a moment.

“Uhh, Lukas?” I said. “Are
you okay?”

He leaned back in his chair,
stared up at the florescent lights. He tapped his fingers against the sides of
his glasses. “Is this week over yet? I so want it to be Sunday.”

I smiled. “Me too.”

“We'll be all done with
finals, we'll have everything moved into the new place. We can sprawl out on
the sofa, eat cookie dough ice cream, and have a Meryl Streep marathon.”

“God,” I said, practically
salivating. I almost tossed my binder to the floor, too. “That sounds amazing.”

“Doesn’t it?” He leaned down,
unzipped his backpack. He pulled something out and grinned, diabolically. “Now,
Sydney…”

“Yes, Lukas?” I tried to look
over the other side of the desk. What was he up to?

“I know how you feel about
alcohol, but I’m hoping you’ll give me a free pass tonight, since I’m stressed
the fuck out.” He finally brought his hands back up to the table, and revealed
a mini bottle of Patron Tequila Silver.

“
What
? What are you...” I glanced every which way. “You can’t have
that in here!”

“Oh come on. No one’s paying
attention.”

He was right about that. I
only saw one other student nearby, and his nose was buried in a textbook. “It
doesn't matter,” I whispered. “Put it away! Why did you bring that here?”

Lukas tapped it against the
desk. “It's been in my backpack for weeks. I kept it close by, for when I
absolutely needed it. And that time… is now.”

“No! Stop it!” I tried to bat
it away, but he kept a tight grip on it. “I couldn't care less if you drink
alcohol, Lukas, you know that, but I
don’t
want to get in trouble. Not this week.”

“We won’t get in trouble.” He
unscrewed the cap. “Just keep an eye out.”

“Lukas… damn it…” There was
no stopping him. When he downed the tequila, my whole body tensed up. I waited
for that scary old librarian to appear from the shadows and throw us into some
underground prison.
 

“
Whoa
,” he
said, and blinked a few times, erratically. “That's some good shit.” He brought
the bottle back down to the table. It was still only half empty.

“Okay, now put it away,” I said.

“Come on. Have one sip.” He pushed it toward me. “Take
one
little sip.”

I swatted it right back at him. “No. Don’t be a jerk.”

“All right, all right, fine.” He drank the last of it,
then turned toward the nearest trash can. He raised the empty bottle up high,
like he was going to throw it. But he stopped. “Actually, that’s probably not
the best idea, huh?”

“Good thinking, Einstein,” I said. He dropped the
bottle in his backpack.

“Now... was that so hard? Look around you, Sydney.
Nobody cares.”

“Lukas,
I
don’t
care. I’ve told you before. I don’t care if people drink alcohol, I care about
them downing tequila shots like water and then going for a midnight drive with
five passengers in the back seat.”

“No, I know.” He tapped his pen against the desk. “You'll
let me have wine in the apartment, right?”

My eyes opened wide. “Of course! Dude, I don’t want
you to think I’m gonna be this stuck-up bitch who chastises you ever time you
have a sip of beer or something.”

“I don’t think that.”

“I’m going to be a great roommate, all right? You’ll
love me, I promise.”

He leaned against the table and took my hand. “I
already
love you. You know that, right?”

Lukas always knew exactly what to say. Sometimes I
hated that he was gay. I probably would’ve been dating him by now if he wasn't.

He smiled at me, but then veered his smile to someone
else. A boy walked into the hallway, grabbed a hardback from the nearest shelf.
It was Robert, the ginger cutie from Friday.

He glanced at us, but didn’t say anything. He
disappeared around the corner, out of sight.

“Hey, wasn’t that the guy you said was gay?” Lukas
asked, bringing his hands back to his side.

“Yeah,” I said. “His name's Robert. You think he’s
cute?”

“Kinda. I mean, I don’t really know him.” He shoved
his backpack against his knees and zipped it up.

“So? If you think he's cute, you should ask him out!
He’s single. I checked.”

He laughed. “I don't know. Could you see me with a
redhead?”

“I totally could. You guys would be perfect. You're
both the same height, you probably like the same things. You're both total
dorks
.”

He rolled his eyes, and looked in the direction Robert
had been standing. “I've seen him around, but... he's never taken a second look
at me.”

“Lukas.” I stared him down. “He could be the one. I
want you to at least ask him out, okay? I'm not taking no for an answer.”

He wouldn't look me in the eyes. “Maybe. We'll see.”
He scooted his chair back. “We should go. The library's about to close.” He
stood up and pulled his backpack over his shoulders.

I sighed. Why did he do that? He was so confident when
he was around me, but terrified to even talk to another gay boy on campus. I
knew if Lukas just put himself out there a little more, he could find love,
happiness, everything he wanted. I was going to make him and Robert happen. In
any way possible.
  

I grabbed my binder and stood up next to Lukas.
 

He gave me a funny look. “Oh, by the way,” he said, “
speaking
of dating. How’d everything go
with Evan on Saturday, after I left? I totally spaced last night and forgot to
ask you.”

“It… well…” It wasn’t worth my breath. “Nothing. We
just studied.”

“Studied for finals, or studied each other's
naughty bits
?” He tried to talk in a
British accent, but it came off more Australian.