Cowboy Under the Mistletoe (11 page)

Paulina put a hand on his shoulder. “They will understand.”

But Jake knew how small rodeos worked. If Morales bulls had been advertised, riders would enter for that opportunity alone. Replacing advertised bulls was bad for business.

“Where?”

“Durant, a one night Bullnanza.”

“I’ll take them.”

Manny perked up. “You will?”

“No problem at all.” A full day away from Gabriel’s Crossing? He jumped at the chance. “I’ll ask Flo to stay over with Granny Pat.”

Paulina clasped her hands to her chest. “
Gloria a Dios. Gracias,
Jake.”

Jake hooked an arm around Paulina’s shoulders. She was still shaking. The couple had no children, and Manny was her world.

“Will you cook tamales when I get back?” he teased, hoping to ease her stress.

She patted his chest. “I have tamal in the freezer now. Come. Take us home.” Suddenly all business and in her element, she motioned to Allison. “You come, too. I make plenty.”

Allison shook her head. “Sounds so good, but I have to get back to work. Rain check?”

“Always you are welcome at my table.”

“I’m glad you’ll be okay, Manny.” Allison hitched her tiny purse onto one shoulder.

“Gracias for coming.”

To Jake she said, “What time Saturday morning?”

He tilted his head. “What?”

“To the rodeo. What time are you leaving?”

“Early. Probably six?” He shot a questioning glance toward Manny who nodded.

“Great,” she said. “I’ll see you then.”

She was out the door before he comprehended her meaning. He started to follow her. “No, wait, Allison.”

Paulina stopped him with a hand on his arm. “Save your breath, Jake. That one has a mind of her own. She will go.” Paulina’s hand patted him. “And you will be glad.”

Chapter Ten

A
llison disliked deceit, especially when she was the guilty party. She considered herself an honest person, but she was not about to tell anyone in her family that she was headed to Durant with a load of bulls and Jake Hamilton. Not after their behavior at the wedding. For once, the brothers four were not going to get in her way.

Jake, on the other hand, might.

She arrived at the Double M Ranch at five forty-five while the moon still hung flat and white against a bruised marble sky. Beneath a floodlight, a large stock trailer was parked outside the huge silver barn. Bulls moved against the metal insides in a series of thuds and clangs, their bovine scent strong in the chilled morning air.

Allison hugged herself against the cold and walked toward the truck. A gate clanged and Jake came around the side of the trailer. Her heart lurched.

“Hey, cowboy.” She kept her voice low in case the Moraleses still slept.

Jake spun toward her on his boots, his hat shadowing his face. He didn’t say anything for a second or two and when he finally spoke, the words were more resigned than welcoming. “You came.”

“Happy Saturday to you, too.” Was he disappointed? Mad? Had she pushed too hard? A sudden, uncharacteristic insecurity gripped her. “I won’t go if you don’t want me to.”

Without answering, he reached inside the cab of the truck and took out a jacket. The dome light illuminated the sculpted angles of his face. Solemn. Serious.

She walked up to him, stuck her palms in her back jeans’ pockets, jittery, unsure, and a little afraid she’d finally made the ultimate fool of herself. “Jake?”

“Did you tell them?”

“Who?” But she knew what he was asking.

“Don’t play dumb. You snuck off, didn’t you?”

“I don’t have to tell anyone where I go.”

“That’s what I figured.”

“Jake, stop. This is me and you, not my family.”

His shoulders heaved once in a heavy sigh. He looked toward the purple sky and then down at her. “You don’t know when to give up, do you?”

Not when it comes to you. Her confidence flagged lower. Since his return, Jake had kept her at arm’s length, she thought because of her brothers. But were they really the reason? Did he simply not want her around?

She’d believed he needed forgiveness and healing and a second chance. She’d believed he’d walked away from their budding romance to protect her. Now she wondered. Had he been trying to let her down easy, and she was too dumb to know it?

“Are you trying to run me off?”

“Would it do any good?”

“Only if you meant it.”

A soft huff escaped his lips. He removed his hat, studied the lining and slapped the Stetson back in place. “Get in the truck. I brought coffee and Ding Dongs for the road.”

“You brought Ding Dongs?” A grin started inside her and spread all over her body. He’d brought her favorite morning junk food.

“Don’t let a box of Ding Dongs go to your head. I eat, too.”

Allison threw her arms around him in a quick hug. “You scared me for a minute. I thought you didn’t want me to go with you.”

“I don’t.”

Confused, she stepped away, but he caught her and reeled her in for a genuine hug—arms around each other, bodies close, the denim of his jacket pleasantly rough against her cheek. Allison’s mood went from uncertain to happy faster than a bull could bawl.

“Stop worrying,” she murmured to his chest.

“Easy for you to say.” He tugged the back of her hair and stepped away. “Hop in, trouble. We’re on our way.”

The trip took a little more than an hour and by the time they reached the rodeo grounds in Durant, the sun shone bright in the east and Allison had succeeded in prying conversation from her companion. Talk between them was easy once the words started flowing. They could talk about anything—except the terrible accident that still affected their lives. For that, there seemed no resolution, though Allison prayed every night that God would show her a way to break the impasse.

After settling the bulls at the rodeo grounds, they roamed around Durant and found a café for a real breakfast. The bacon-scented restaurant housed a mix of college students and cowboys, some of whom Jake knew. Allison wasn’t surprised that he was well liked. Her brothers didn’t know what they were missing.

After fueling up on eggs and bacon, they spent most of the day either checking on the bulls who didn’t seem to need them at all or talking to other rodeo people. Jake put her on some guy’s horse and teased when her short legs wouldn’t reach the stirrups. She rode around in a circle anyway, grateful that the horse knew more than she did.

Later, they strolled through the vendors’ exhibits, tried on braided belts, admired beautifully tooled leather goods and Western Christmas ornaments and gifts. Allison considered a pair of dangly silver earrings while Jake donned a dozen different cowboy hats. When they walked with fingers laced, they pretended the connection was necessary to keep from getting separated in the growing crowd.

When the rodeo began, a woman with long flowing hair in a glittery shirt and hat rode out into the arena on a paint horse, the American flag held high. With the lights dimmed and the anthem playing, she loped round and round the dirt-covered venue in a throat-filling display of patriotism.

Allison sat with Jake on a hard wooden bleacher next to the bull pen. The bulls, docile now, milled quietly around, waiting for their chances in the spotlight.

“Want some cotton candy?” he asked.

“More junk food?”

“You don’t want cotton candy?”

She grinned. “Well, yeah. Of course I do.”

As they strolled to the concession, Allison saw the admiring glances Jake garnered as they passed groups of women. Naturally, women noticed him with his lean good looks and cowboy swagger. Jake seemed oblivious, and Allison felt ridiculously glad about that.

“Those girls are ogling you.” She nudged him with her elbow.

“Yeah?” He ripped off a piece of blue spun sugar and stuck it to her lips. “They’re like you, after my cotton candy.”

She licked the sticky sweetness from her lips and reached for another bite. “
My
cotton candy.”

“See what I mean?”

She poked a wad of spun sugar in his open mouth and grinned. “I’m glad I made you bring me along.”

“Me, too.”

Deep down, she’d known that, but hearing him say the words was a new high.

The bull riding event started with a whimper, and halfway through, Manny’s bulls were ahead of the riders.

“Does Manny get paid more if the cowboys fall off?”

Jake nodded. “That’s the plan.”

“Can you ride that one?” she asked when Manhandler dumped a cowboy in the dirt.

“Haven’t ever drawn him, but maybe. He has a pattern. Out of the chute to the right for two or three bucks before he goes into a spin in the other direction. It’s that misdirection that gets cowboys off balance.”

“You are so smart.”

He laughed, tugged her hair. “You’re cute.”

Allison didn’t mind being cute, but she wanted to be a lot more than that to Jake Hamilton.

* * *

Jake thought he’d done pretty well all day. He’d handled Manny’s stock without problem and most of all, he’d enjoyed Allison’s company without getting romantic. He’d worried about that, had prayed she wouldn’t show up this morning, but when she had, he’d been way too happy to have her hop in his truck and go along for the ride. Yet, he’d kept a respectful distance and only held her hand. That tiny hand with the soft, smooth skin and the single mole beside the thumb.

Little Allison Buchanon had him in knots, but he knew his part and he was proud of how he’d handled the day. A man did what a man had to do to protect the people he lo—liked.

By the time they returned to Manny’s ranch, they were both worn slick as river rocks. The long day had crept into early morning with another white moon and a splash of the Milky Way across a black sky.

She hadn’t told her family. That part bugged him, even though common sense dictated the less said the better.

Still, she hadn’t wanted them to know.

Was she ashamed of him? He wasn’t a fool. Allison cared for him, always had, in her Pollyanna way of championing the underdog, but her family was her life and livelihood. As they should be.

“Can you handle the gates?” he asked.

She flexed her biceps. “I’m small but mighty. Tell me what to do and I’m your girl.”

He refused to let his mind go there. She wasn’t his girl. Never would be. She belonged here in Gabriel’s Crossing with a good man and a couple of kids. A really good man. A man who didn’t mess up, who was liked by the family she loved more than anything.

Choking on the thought, he hopped out of the truck and headed around to the back.

Still peppy at this late hour, probably due to the extra shots of espresso they’d had en route, Allison helped him unload the bulls, opening and closing gates on command. A light came on in the Morales kitchen and Paulina appeared in the doorway, a golden glow around her black hair. Jake went to her, assured her the bulls were secure and all was well.

“How’s Manny?”

“Sleeping. Pain pills knock him out.” Pulling her robe tight, she asked, “I make you coffee or food?”

Jake shook his head. “Too late. Go back to bed, Paulina.”

The Mexican woman tiptoed up and kissed his check. “You are a good boy, the son we never had.”

His chest tightened with affection. He patted her back awkwardly. “Good night, Paulina. I’ll be here tomorrow.”

“Sleep first. The cows will wait.”

“Sure.”

She closed the door, and Jake turned to find Allison right behind him in the darkness. The temperature had dropped and she shivered.

“Paulina’s a nice lady.” Allison’s lips trembled.

“You’re cold.” Jake removed his jacket and wrapped the fleece inside around her shoulders. He tugged the collar close beneath her chin, his hands lingering there.

Someday a worthy man would stand in his spot and shed his jacket for the sweetest girl in Gabriel’s Crossing.

Jake pondered the roil of emotion that came with that inevitable fact.

Inside the house the light went out, but he could see Allison’s big brown eyes in the moon’s glow. He could hear the soft puffs of her breath and feel her shivers.

Penned cattle moved about, mooing softly. Their restlessness resonated in him. He was restless, too, yearning for things he couldn’t have and shouldn’t want.

Allison rested her hands on either side of his waist. Through his shirt, he felt the coolness of her fingers against his skin. He moved in closer, sharing his heat. His brain pulsated with the thought that some other guy would hold her.

“I should get you home,” he murmured, and heard the husky roughness of his words.

“I know.”

But neither of them moved. They were cocooned there together on the Double M, and all day they’d been away from the distractions of town and family. A man’s head could get muddled.

“Jake,” she said on a breathy whisper.

“Yeah?” She lifted her face so the light reflected on her skin. Such a pretty, happy, caring face. He placed a palm against her cheek. “You’re so soft.”

He hadn’t meant to say that.

She put her arms around his neck. His jacket fell away, rustled to the ground at their feet. He let it go.

He really wanted to kiss her. To hold her for a little while there in the quiet cold and absorb the essence of Allison. Before some other man took his place.

So he did. He had no right, knew he didn’t, but he kissed her anyway.

Her lips were cold, her mouth warm as she sighed into him. He closed his eyes and held her face between his calloused hands, pulse thrumming in his head. A voice somewhere in the back of his brain tapped out a warning. Jake didn’t listen. He kissed her, kissed the corner of her mouth, her eyelids, her hair. And when he was done, he rested his chin on her hair and held her close.

Allison. Her name reverberated through him.

“I love you, Jake.” Her voice was muffled against his shoulder so that he could almost pretend he hadn’t heard. But the slam of emotion shook him to his bootheels.

She couldn’t be. He wouldn’t let her be in love with him.

Fighting the wild exultation and the equally wild anxiety, he shook his head and tried to back away. Tried and failed. Allison was a sticky web of sugar holding him captive.

“Are you crazy?” His voice was a shaky whisper. Hadn’t she admitted her brothers hated him? That she’d avoided telling her family about the rodeo because of him? And hadn’t he reconciled to the idea that she’d find a better man?

“You took my heart when you left Gabriel’s Crossing years ago.” Her voice was soft and sweet with a tinge of hurt that set his soul aching. “I never got it back.”

“We were kids.” Jake kept his tone even, though his fingers touched her face and stroked her velvet cheek while he wished he was half the man she thought he was. “Too young to fall in love.”

“We’re not kids now.”

“Ah, Allison.” He shook his head, fighting emotion. Allison sucked his breath away, stole his last brain cell and filled him with such foolish hope. He pulled her in close and stared down into the most honest brown eyes possible. “We can’t do this.”

“Why?”

“You know why. Your family had a fit over a simple dance at a wedding. You didn’t even tell them about today. That’s meaningful.” She opened her mouth to deny it, but he stopped her with a finger to her soft, moist lips. “Don’t say it isn’t. No amount of optimism will make the Buchanons accept me, and you’re a Buchanon to the bone.”

“We’ll find a way. Give us a chance, Jake.”

There was no chance for them. He’d known nine years ago. He knew now.

“I’ll be helping Manny for a while and taking care of some other business, but I won’t stay in this town forever. I won’t do that to myself or your brother.”
Or you.

He didn’t say the rest, the one thing he longed for but couldn’t have. He’d never ask her to choose him over her family, because that’s exactly what she’d have to do. And separation from family would break her heart more than his leaving ever could. She belonged with the Buchanons here in Gabriel’s Crossing, not ostracized with a rodeo cowboy. Love between the pair of them was out of the question, no matter how much he cared for her.