Covet (39 page)

Ian had clenched and unclenched his fist at least a dozen times already, struggling to control his anger and annoyance, and resisting the urge to pull Tessa away from her rather manic tidying up. It always bothered him to see her clearing away dishes and putting away equipment, as though she were nothing better than a waitress or a maid. But to covertly watch her scrubbing that damned table made him want to throw something across the room.

She was better than this, he thought fervently. She
deserved
better than this. Tessa should be the one who was waited on, catered to, instead of the other way around. He knew from his own observations that most of the other team members didn’t pay this much attention to detail when it came to cleaning up the room after meetings, leaving the bulk of the work for the catering staff. But the rest of the team hadn’t been trained by Francine Carrington, and Ian grimaced as he imagined how tough the old battleax must have been on someone as young and gullible as Tessa. Mrs. C. would have impressed upon her the need to do everything perfectly, to pay close attention to detail, and to never shirk her duties. And Tessa being Tessa would have taken all of that to heart, no matter what task was assigned to her.

But he doubted that even the exacting Mrs. Carrington would have expected Tessa to actually clean the table, would have assumed she’d leave that task for the janitorial staff. As usual, though, Tessa was taking her job much too seriously, undoubtedly anxious to please him, and make sure his exceptionally high standards were not only met but exceeded. Even Andrew didn’t go to such lengths, he acknowledged, especially since his PA considered a great many tasks beneath his dignity.

Unlike Tessa, he realized, who was too meek and introverted to stand up for herself or delegate tasks to others. He hated seeing her working so hard, knowing for a fact that she was almost always the first of the team to arrive and the last to leave each day, and silently cursed her husband yet again for his inability to provide for her. If she was his –

‘No,’ he told himself sternly. ‘Don’t go there right now, mate. You’ve got to stop thinking that way, got to knock off this daydreaming about what it would be like to have her with you. And she must be happy with that boy. Otherwise, why would she still be married to him? There’s obviously a great deal more than meets the eye in that marriage, and it’s none of your business. Just like Tessa isn’t your business, especially outside of the office.’

But it still broke his heart to see her work so hard, and to guess how deprived she must be. He knew, of course, what her monthly salary was, and with the input from a friend who worked for a major international news agency had estimated how much – or, more accurately, how little – Peter Lockwood likely earned. After their rent and other expenses, there wouldn’t be much left over for things like eating out, vacations, or clothes. He knew the skirt and sweater Tessa had on today were items that she wore often, and that her wardrobe in general was very far from being extensive – and certainly not in the least bit expensive.

The latter fact had been driven even further home this morning when she had stood next to Julia McKinnon. Both women were startlingly beautiful, but it was rather obvious that the interior designer was also very much a fashionista. Ian knew quite a bit about women’s fashions, knew that the quality of Julia’s dress and scarf were top notch, and that those very sexy shoes had cost close to a thousand dollars. He longed to send Tessa a pair of those exact same shoes – anonymously, of course – simply for the sheer pleasure of seeing how her long, shapely legs would look while wearing them.

As he returned to his office – not trusting himself to remain in the same room with Tessa a moment longer and not yank those damned furniture wipes out of her hand – Ian thought briefly of the very pretty, very stylish, and very charming Julia McKinnon. She had been a delightful surprise after the dour and dramatic Sonya, and he’d admittedly flirted with her here and there during the meeting. And while she had been witty and engaging in return, he hadn’t picked up any vibes that she had anything but a professional interest in him.

But there had most definitely been some rather intense vibes between her and Nathan Atwood. Even if Ian hadn’t been honing his skills of observation for nearly two decades, he would have been sure to pick up on the wild chemistry that existed between the architect and his new interior designer. The attraction that both of them seemed to be pretending wasn’t there was nearly off the charts, and Ian hadn’t missed the frequent, covetous looks Nathan had sent Julia’s way throughout the two hour meeting. Or the way that Julia had tried like hell to ignore her boss, while at the same time doing her damndest to get his attention.

A smile played about the corners of Ian’s mouth as he walked down the hallway towards his office. He knew that Nathan was engaged, had even met his fiancé once or twice, and wondered how in hell the architect was dealing with his unwilling attraction towards Julia.

‘Probably the same way you’re dealing with your ridiculous obsession with Tessa,’ he told himself scathingly. ‘Ignoring it, denying it, pushing it to the back of your mind. In other words, not really dealing with it at all.’

It had been months since she’d woken up with a bad feeling in her tummy, the all too familiar sensation that something awful was going to happen today. But, realized Tessa as she reluctantly dragged herself out of bed, this was a Wednesday after all, and she should have known that sooner or later life was going to deal her another of those unexpected obstacles. And based on the number of goosebumps on her arm, and with her spidey-sense on full alert, it was going to be a doozy this time around.

The first thing she did was to power up her old laptop – the used one Peter had bought for her when she’d still been a senior in high school – and check on his flight status. He was due to fly home today from Cambodia after another three-week assignment, and she’d learned over the past couple of years that flights departing from that part of the world were rather notorious for being delayed. But so far his flight was scheduled to arrive on time, and she breathed a little sigh of relief to learn he was already airborne. She still worried whenever he had to make one of those long distance flights, always offered up a little prayer that he would arrive home safely, and did the same thing this morning.

She hurried through her breakfast – a slice of whole wheat toast with jam and a cup of tea – before getting ready for work. It was full on Indian summer in the Bay Area right now, with warm, sunny days and balmy nights, so she selected a lightweight dress of pale peach with tiny white polka dots. The dress was sleeveless, belted at the waist, and had a pleated skirt. Because she was running a bit late, Tessa left her hair loose and kept her makeup light. After hastily making up the bed and grabbing her cardigan, purse, and lunch tote, she dashed out of the apartment towards the bus stop.

The unsettled feeling she’d woken with only got stronger during the crowded bus ride to work, and she tried desperately to quell her nerves, telling herself that maybe this time nothing bad would actually happen. She had to stand on the bus, as usual, and she assumed her normal position of never really making eye contact with anyone else on board. Most of the people riding the bus at this time of the morning were either going to work like her, or to school, but there were definitely a fair number of weirdoes along, too. She was continually reminded of the fact that San Francisco was a very diverse city, with people of varying ethnicities, sexual orientations, and socio-economic classes, and Tessa was pretty sure she’d seen a really good sampling of them all in the two years she’d been living here and riding the city buses.

The bus left her off a block away from her office building, and she exited the stuffy, crowded vehicle with relief. She thought that even if she’d been riding these buses for a dozen years already that she would never really get used to the experience, and definitely not enjoy it.

As Tessa entered the building, she hoped that Peter would arrive home later today with good news about his job. He was hoping to find a better position that didn’t require nearly as much travel in addition to offering a regular salary, and had recently begun sending out resumes and doing some networking among the contacts he’d developed. She knew he’d had a couple of solid leads lately, though he had been oddly closed-mouthed about sharing too many of the details. Perhaps, she assured herself, he simply didn’t want to get his hopes up – or hers – and was waiting until he had more information before discussing any potential jobs with her.

Things in general had been sort of –
off
with Peter as of late, not that their relationship had ever been a normal one. But over the past few months Tessa had begun to feel more and more disconnected from him, had feared that he was deliberately keeping her at a distance, and not confiding in her about certain things. His increased absences were part of that, of course, but there were other factors, too. Like the fact that when he was away on a trip he didn’t communicate with her nearly as often as he used to, only emailing her every four or five days, and then only a few brief lines. Or that when he was home he kept himself closed off from her, claiming that he needed quiet time to do research or polish up a story. More recently the excuses had revolved around his search for a new job. The last time he’d been home – almost a month ago now – they had spent very little time together instead of going for their usual hikes or watching TV or Peter simply recapping his most recent trip for her.

Tessa didn’t want to think too hard about what all of this meant. With most any other man she would have suspected him of having an affair. But knowing all too well the extent of Peter’s emotional and sexual issues, the idea was almost laughable. Whatever was going on with him had nothing to do with an extramarital affair. She was, however, determined to get to the bottom of the matter, and vowed that they would have a long, involved talk as soon as he arrived home this evening – even if she feared she wouldn’t like the answers.

She was the first one of the team to arrive, as she was nearly every day. Tessa sighed a bit wearily as she booted up her computer and put away her cardigan and purse, wondering if she was destined to remain in this particular job for the rest of her career. It wasn’t that she didn’t like being part of the team – and the various little perks that came along with it – but there were days when she grew weary of doing the same sort of mundane tasks over and over. She would have greatly preferred being a PA for one of the executives here on this floor. Not only was the salary considerably higher but the position carried more prestige and responsibility, with some of the PA’s even traveling with their managers on occasion. But she also knew she would need a college degree before she could even think of applying for a job like that, and going back to school at this time just wasn’t in the cards. Her super-tight budget would never allow for college tuition and books. And, ironically, even though she and Peter lived in a cramped apartment in a questionable neighborhood, couldn’t afford to own a car, and ate a lot of cereal, ramen noodles, and peanut butter sandwiches to stretch their dollars, they now earned too much money for her to qualify for most grants or scholarships. It was a cruel sort of Catch-22.

Andrew arrived less than five minutes after she did, but she knew he’d likely been at the office until early evening yesterday, and had probably dealt with phone calls and emails after hours as well.

She offered him up a warm but businesslike smile as he passed by her cubicle. “Good morning, Andrew.”

He gave her a brief nod. “Hello, Tessa. First one in again, I see.”

Her cheeks pinkened and she gave a small shrug. “I got the early bus. It’s a bit less crowded than the next one.”

“Mr. Gregson is going to need some spreadsheets done today,” he told her briskly. “I’ll be sending the information your way shortly.”

‘What else is new?’ she thought grimly. It seemed that she spent three quarters of each day working on the complex Excel files that their boss relied on so heavily. But all she said in response was, “Of course, Andrew. Send them along whenever you like and I’ll get right to them. I don’t have anything else pressing on my schedule for today.”

“Good to know. I’ll email you the supporting data within the hour.”

Tessa knew that Andrew was nothing if not precise, and that he would more than likely be emailing her in less than the appointed time. She had a couple of other items to take care of before tackling the spreadsheets, and made quick work of them. She’d been at her desk for more than half an hour, even having grabbed a cup of tea, before any of the other team members arrived. Marisol was the next one in, yawning as usual and carrying an oversized coffee cup. Shelby was next, giving Tessa a little wave as she continued to chat with someone on her cell phone, giggling every so often with her chirpy laugh.

Gina and Alicia arrived a couple of minutes later, causing Tessa to grit her teeth in annoyance at their whispered conversations and sly laughter, and she wondered who this morning’s unfortunate victim of their vicious gossip might be. Gina gave her an overly-friendly smile, while Alicia greeted her with a saccharin sweet “Good morning.” Tessa tried to ignore how both of them none too discreetly checked out the dress and shoes she’d worn today.

“That’s such a cute little dress, Tessa,” Gina told her in a phony voice. “Every time you wear it I think what a good color it is for you.”

Tessa merely smiled politely in response to Gina’s not-so-subtle dig – that she wore the same things over and over. Unlike Gina and Alicia who were frequently sporting new clothes or shoes, or showing off the handbag or lipstick or pair of earrings that they had bought over the weekend.

Unlike Tessa, however, the two of them had plenty of extra cash to spend on luxuries and indulgences like getting their nails done, having facials and massages, and belonging to a top notch gym. The condo that the two women lived in was owned by Alicia’s parents so that they didn’t have to pay rent, and Kevin had once whispered to Tessa that Mr. and Mrs. Spencer also paid for the utilities and upkeep on the unit. That meant Alicia could spend her entire salary – plus her generous trust fund stipends – on whatever she liked. She would never have to do something as bourgeois as clipping coupons to save money on groceries, or getting her hair cut at Super Cuts, or doing her own nails – just a few of the many things Tessa did to stretch her modest budget.