Courting Mrs. McCarthy (17 page)

After a few hours, there was a knock at the door to the bedroom. He didn’t answer it as he knew Griffin would come in regardless of what he said. Megan or Victoria would’ve made their presence known immediately after the knock.

He rolled over in bed to face his friend, who had a somber look on his face. Despite all the causal dire warnings about what would happen if he continued his relationship with Jackie, Griffin had been right all along, but he didn’t look pleased by his victory. He was holding a plate with a sandwich and a bottle of Yoo-hoo in his hand.

“I brought you some nourishment, and I’ve been instructed not to leave until you’re finished eating it,” he said in an upbeat tone that was understandably forced. He pulled a joint from his pocket. “I think on a day like this, no one would mind if we sparked up in the house.”

Nathan displayed as much of a smile as he could. He wasn’t hungry at all, but he took the plate as an appreciative gesture toward one of the few people in the town who was genuinely on his side right now.

There wasn’t much taste to the sandwich. Griffin once joked that his mothers were bad at sandwich making because neither had a husband to practice on, but that sexist comment was poorly received from Megan and Victoria. Griffin was thinking of the same moment as he said, “I made it to spare you from the awfulness that my parents might inflict upon you.”

Words had left Nathan who struggled to think of anything but Jackie. All he could do was nod. He wasn’t used to being without a place to escape to alone, so Griffin’s kindness was oddly foreign to him. Past mishaps were completely trivial compared to the evil that marshaled before him now.

Nathan’s lack of participation didn’t stop Griffin from carrying on with a conversation. “I know things are shitty right now, but I’ve thought of a few positives that you can try to take away from this.”

Nathan just sat there.

Griffin continued. “Since your aunt didn’t take the news so well, you can live here. I’m sure that’ll be more fun than the stinky Thompson house with your boring uncle.” This was true, not that Nathan was in a mood to hear about the positive effects this would have on his life.

Having failed to pique Nathan’s interest, Griffin added, “I know this won’t matter for a long time, but this little thing is surely going to make you a legend at school.”

Nathan raised his eyebrow at his friend, who took this recognition as a cue to elaborate.

“No, really, it will. All the adults are freaking out about it now, but you did what every kid our age only dreams of doing. You bedded a—”

“Don’t say MILF,” Nathan snapped.

Griffin looked taken aback by the sudden outburst. “Relax. I wasn’t going to say it. I was only trying to put things into perspective.”

“How does that put any of this into perspective? Jackie is going back to Seattle to face her husband who is going to be ballistic, and you’re saying that it’s all going to be fine because I’m going to be considered cool by a bunch of people who have no idea as to the circumstances of what actually went down between me and this woman, who everyone but me is objectifying. Am I the only one who cares about her?”

For someone who hadn’t spoke for most of the day, Nathan found himself with a sudden burst of passionate energy to defend the woman whose life he felt responsible for destroying. This energy didn’t last for long and he laid back down on the pillow shortly after he had finished yelling at Griffin.

Seeing that he had lashed out unjustly, he sought to do some damage control. “Look, I’m sorry. You know that I’d be in a pretty awful position right now if it wasn’t for you and your family. I just feel like I ruined her life and there’s nothing I can do to fix it.”

“Nathan, you didn’t ruin her life. Sure, you did something that maybe wasn’t the greatest idea in the world, but it takes two to tango. Wasn’t she the one who asked you out in the first place?”

He had brought up a fair point. Jackie had been the one who first used the word
date
to describe what the two of them might have. Nathan’s guilt was then possibly explained by how unfair it was that he’d escaped the fallout relatively unscathed compared to her, even if he had been thrown out of his present living situation.

He expressed his uncertainty for Griffin’s questioning by saying, “I don’t know, I can’t help but feel like I took advantage of a lonely woman facing months of isolation on the east coast. It’s not like she fit in with the crowd here.”

That part was true. Jackie and her baseball wealth and West Coast mentalities did not make her an instant match for the dynamic of the other women her age. As much as anyone could laugh at that last statement, it was an accurate portrayal of Jackie’s situation. She represented a deviation from the norm.

Griffin took a defensive stance on behalf of his friend. “Who’s to say she didn’t take advantage of you, Nathan?” he asked, playing devil’s advocate to Nathan’s self-loathing.

“Go on,” he said.

“It’s who you are, Nate. You’re this enigma who draws girls in because you’re someone no one quite understands. Heck, I’ve known you for most of my life and you still do things I could never figure out. But beyond that, you have a real crappy track record of people hightailing out of your life. I don’t know if there’s anything to say to make this right, but you can’t beat yourself up about this. You were both consenting adults who got caught up in the gossip of a bunch of people with nothing better to talk about. It sucks, but this kind of stuff doesn’t go on forever. Anyway, I’ll leave you alone, but don’t miss out on dinner and don’t mope for too long. We can play video games or something. Take it easy,” he added, as he got up to leave.

Nathan took a deep breath, thinking of Jackie and the shit storm she was headed into. Griffin had made some sense; his affair with Jackie would have a major impact on his reputation. The parents might be disgusted and his days of self-improvement classes were likely over for a while, at least in Roxburgh.

He didn’t particularly care that his social status would be elevated by his actions. If that had been a priority, he could’ve leaked what he’d done to Griffin before it got out. He could’ve spread it around and it would never have reached the point where adults would take a serious interest in a teenage rumor. It was somewhat relieving that he wouldn’t have to spend his senior year in isolation, but that seemed like a bitter consolation prize.

What other girls might think of him didn’t really cross his mind. Nathan wasn’t concerned with the fact that the majority of the girls his age would be appalled by what he’d done. Only a handful of strange women would somehow be turned on by his relationship with someone old enough to be their mother provided she gave birth at a time that would make her a viable candidate for the MTV show, Teen Mom. In this day and age, he couldn’t be too sure.

Thoughts of people who would be turned off by this behavior reminded him of a point that Griffin had made earlier regarding his persona. He wasn’t arrogant enough to call himself an enigma, but he couldn’t deny the fact that he was a bit of a strange person. He wasn’t sure if Jackie had known this from the start, but it might explain why she’d gravitated toward him in the first place. That or the alcohol.

He supposed it was possible the two had used each other in a meeting of two emotionally unavailable minds who were each seeking a quick fix for their own loneliness. His time with Jackie made him forget that he was coming off his break-up with Sarah when he’d first met her. That put him in an unusual place on vulnerability, but he wouldn’t say that it was the predominant reason why he’d been attracted to her in the first place.

The images of the opening ceremony, where he’d first seen Jackie that summer, entered his mind. What had happened a little over a month ago felt like so much longer, but he couldn’t forget the feeling that had overpowered him when he first saw her smile. That feeling was genuine regardless of the outside circumstances that affected him that morning. He was also stoned, but he opted not to remember that point.

There was a magazine on the night table that caught Nathan’s glance. It was a dated edition of
Vogue
, which featured musician Lana Del Rey on the cover. The magazine wasn’t really what caught his attention, but rather the experience that it made him recollect.

He thought back to his conversation with Mrs. Buchanan where she told him about the ways you could learn to read people. He had operated under the assumption that he’d had such an experience with Jackie the first time they’d met, and there was nothing about her that he’d learned so far which proved otherwise.

Jackie always carried with her a sense of innocence in her expressions and demeanor that Nathan was always attracted to even though he knew that was far from the truth. Her youthful features complemented the way she was always marveling at whatever it was he told her. He believed in what Mrs. Buchanan had told him because he could see it with his own eyes every time he looked at Jackie.

That became centered as the root of the depression he was feeling over her departure. He hadn’t gotten past the part of the relationship where he didn’t relish every opportunity to gaze into her eyes and see all her beauty. They hadn’t even defined the relationship before it had been taken from them.

He had pursued her with the notion that he could go with the flow and take each step as it came. The flow had been interrupted, and then a picture changed everything.

Nathan tried not to let himself get worked up with the prospect that something might have grown out of their little fling. He wasn’t even confident that he really wanted that in the first place. But it was only July and he’d have had at least another full month with her before people started going on vacation, and then she’d carry on with her life. That month brought with it so many possibilities that he couldn’t help but sit for hours thinking about what might have been.

His analysis was put to an end finally by Victoria, who came to offer her sympathies and to tell him that Megan was back with dinner. Nathan hadn’t eaten anything since Griffin’s mediocre sandwich, but he could smell Chinese food, a favorite of his. He thought that maybe some General Gau’s chicken might make him feel better.

There was a cold beer waiting for him at his spot at the dinner table. Nathan laughed as he sat down, happy that the Rousseau family had been making an effort to make him feel better. He noticed there was a large bag next to the Chinese food on the table that didn’t look like a normal take-out receptacle.

Megan spoke before he could comment. “I stopped by your aunt and uncle’s house before I picked up the food to get you some clothes. I know Griffin prides himself on his fashion sense but I wanted to make sure you had some of your own things.”

“Thanks,” Nathan said, who paused for a minute while he thought about asking a question he’d been pondering intermediately throughout the day. “How’s Aunt Cassidy doing?”

Megan sighed. “That woman is really the one who could use a beer. You’d think she’d suffered the loss of a firstborn child by the way she was acting.” Victoria made a not so discrete kick under the table at Megan, whose comment was insensitive though Nathan was not bothered.

“Did she say anything?” he asked, unsure as to whether or not he wanted to know. His aunt wasn’t likely to badmouth him to the mother of his best friend.

Megan looked down at her food. “She asked how you were doing. I suspect she feels a certain level of guilt for the way she acted, though she didn’t ask you to come back either. She did mention one piece of information I don’t think you’re going to like, though.”

A small spark of panic shot through Nathan’s veins as he wondered what his aunt might know that he didn’t already. He couldn’t fathom that there was much more damage to be had, but he didn’t need to speak for her to elaborate.

“Your father is flying in tomorrow,” she said with a slight cringe that showed how reluctant she was to deliver the news.

“Oh.” He took a long swig of his beer, a telling action of how he felt at the moment. It wasn’t good news, but it didn’t come as a huge surprise. His aunt had mentioned that possibility earlier that day. Jerome was not known to get involved with his affairs though, and he hadn’t thought that it was a forgone conclusion that his father would show up to cast judgment on him for his transgressions.

Griffin chimed in to support Nathan. “Don’t worry. You don’t have to face him alone. If there’s someone who knows a little something about civil rights violations, it’s my mothers. We can handle your father together.” He made it sound like this was all some great adventure.

“Thanks. But I think it’s best if I face him alone.” His father was intimidating, but there was nothing the Rousseaus could do to change that.

A question came to Nathan that he felt hesitant to ask, but it slipped out of his mouth anyway. He turned to face Victoria and Megan. “What do you guys think of all of this?”

The purpose of the question was unclear, but the feelings it evoked were not. Both of the Rousseau women were clearly uncomfortable with that line of questioning. He expected Megan, a professional talking head, to speak first. Instead, it was Victoria.

“I think what happened to you and Jacqueline was a horrid display of immaturity from adults our age who caused great destruction by gossiping. I’m not so sure that it’s a case of civil rights, as Griffin so eloquently put it, but you should be entitled to your own privacy as long as you’re not hurting anyone.” She kept her gaze focused on her chopsticks.