Courage In Love (15 page)

Chapter 30

Frontline was almost over and Parker was just about to doze off when his phone lit up and started to vibrate on the coffee table. A series of numbers he’d never seen before flashed on the caller ID and his heart started to race and a large, goofy grin filled his face as he swiped to take that call. It had to be Ross.

“Hello?” Parker dropped his voice, going for sexy and relaxed.

“Parker, it’s Ross.” He sounded tired and his speech was a bit slurred. Parker frowned, they’d have to keep the call short. Definitely no phone sex.

“Hey. I miss you, are you on your way home?” Parker did his best to sound less whiney and more flirty.

“You sound so good, Parker.” Ross rasped weakly before he pulled in a long, ragged breath. “You have no idea…” There was another tortured breath and Parker’s heart slammed against his chest.

“Ross? What happened? Are you on your way home?” He asked frantically.

“No. I’m in Landstuhl. I’m not coming home for a while.” This time the slur was very heavy and Parker’s heart slowed to almost stopping and his body felt cold.

“What happened, Ross?” Parker sat up straight and had to hold the phone with both hands to keep from dropping it.

“I’m hurt. Well, I don’t hurt now.” He made a soft hum/laugh and sighed. “Morphine is a helluva thing, Parker. It was really bad for a while but I’m good now.” Ross mumbled and Parker wanted to rip his face off.

“Oh, my God, what happened?” He yelled and Ross made a shushing sound.

“Calm down. I’m ok now.” Ross soothed and Parker felt a hysterical laugh (or scream) bubbling within his chest. “I’m going into surgery soon. They won’t say it but they’re taking my leg.” He whispered and Parker bit his knuckle.

“Jesus… Fuck!” Parker shrieked as he jumped to his feet and began pacing. “Can it wait until I can get there? You can’t go through that without me.” His eyes were stinging and his nose burned as he began to cry. Ross made more soothing noises and everything felt even more absurd.

“No. You have to stay there. It won’t be good for you here and I don’t think they can wait.” Ross said gently and Parker decided that morphine was indeed a hell of a thing.

“I don’t care, I’ll be there as soon as I can.” Parker insisted and there were voices in the background but Parker couldn’t make out what they were saying.

“Parker, don’t. It’s too much of a mess to get you here and they’re not going to let you in.” Ross explained. He sounded weak and even more groggy. “I love you and they’ll send me back as soon as I can travel after surgery. I have to go, they’re ready for me. Call Bryan, he’ll take care of you. I love you and I promise I’m ok. I’m not scared.” Ross tried to make the last part sound reassuring but the drugs were getting the better of him. Parker pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath.

“I love you, Ross. Please, come home as soon as you can.” Parker begged as the last of his control slipped away.

“I will.” Ross was fading. “Love you, bye.” And the line went silent.

Parker’s entire body started to shake violently and he dropped to the ground. He felt like he was suffocating and began to gasp for breath as he fumbled, trying to find Bryan on his phone. As soon as the call was sent, Parker set the phone down and put it on speaker, he couldn’t trust his hands. It rang twice before Bryan picked up.

“Hey! We were just about to see if you wanted to join us for brunch!” Bryan said loudly and Parker shook his head as he struggled to make his mouth work. His throat felt clogged and his jaw wanted to stay clenched. “Parker?” Bryan called and Parker forced his mouth open and pulled in a deep, shuddering breath.

“It’s Ross!” Parker gasped and had to swallow the tremendous sob that was pummeling his chest and throat.

“Oh, God. What happened?” Bryan’s voice became low and heavy.

“I don’t know!” Ross howled. “He called and said he’s at Landstuhl. He’s going into surgery. Like, right now and he says they’re going to take his leg.” He could feel his face tingle and he knew he was starting to hyperventilate.

“Jesus.” Bryan whispered shakily. Parker’s face was getting numb.

“I want to go but he says I should stay. Can you help me get over there?” Parker asked frantically.

“Listen to me. First, you need to breathe. You have to stay calm, Parker.” Bryan said slowly. “Ross is right. Even if you were a woman and his wife, it wouldn’t be a good idea. By the time we got you there, he’d probably be getting ready to fly back. And there’s no guarantee that you’d be able to see him.” He said gently. Parker was rocking back and forth, timing his breaths with the swing of his body and trying to calm down.

“What am I supposed to do?” He asked and Bryan sighed.

“I’m sending Ian over to get you. You’ll come here and stay with us. I’m going to make some phone calls and hopefully, I’ll have more answers for you when you get here.” He said and Parker grabbed onto the idea like a life raft.

“Thank you, Bryan.” Parker whispered.

“Not a problem. Ian’s already on his way. I’m going to let you go so I can make those calls.”

“Ok.”

“I’ll see you in a few minutes.” Bryan said before he hung up.

Ian arrived less than five minutes later and he held Parker’s hand the entire drive back to their place. He kept saying “Everything’s going to be ok.” and Parker could only nod. When they got to Bryan and Ian’s house, Bryan was on the phone, pacing in the living room as he listened.

“Oh, Jesus!” Bryan gasped. “And he was the only one? They didn’t lose anybody?” He asked incredulously. He paced and nodded along and at one point he covered his mouth and his eyes watered. Parker had to hang onto the arm of the couch to keep from running across the room and snatching the phone out of Bryan’s hand. “Jesus! That lucky son of a bitch.” Bryan murmured. He nodded and paced some more before he let out a long sigh. “Great. I’d appreciate that… Thanks so much… Bye.” Bryan pulled the phone from his ear and he rubbed the back of his neck and stared at the wall for several moments before he went to Parker and sat next to him on the couch. “I’m going to tell you as much as I can and make it as easy for you to understand as I can. But, you have to know that there’s a lot I can’t tell you. Please just listen and try to stay calm.” Bryan’s eyes searched Parker’s for any sign of agreement and understanding as he took Parker’s hand. Parker looked down at their hands and nodded weakly.

“Just tell me what you can.” He begged and Bryan squeezed his hand.

“It was a hostage rescue. Everything went as planned until they got to the helicopters. There were two. Ross’ got hit with an RPG. Luckily, the shot went wide but it damaged the helicopter before it could get very far off the ground. Ross and another team member got everyone out and found cover before they realized the pilot was injured and couldn’t get out. Ross went back and pulled the pilot out and was getting him clear when the helicopter was hit with another RPG and exploded. Ross was carrying the pilot and they were thrown. A large piece of debris tore through Ross’ leg but he was able to drag the pilot to safety. They were pinned down and under fire for about an hour before a team could get in and pick them up. Ross took a bullet to the side but nothing vital was hit. But he lost a lot of blood and he barely made it. As soon as he was stabilized, he was transported to Landstuhl. He’d already lost the leg. His CO says he wouldn’t even look at it during the fight, he just stayed focused on his men. As soon as they picked him up, the medics shot him full of morphine. Once he knew everyone was safe, Ross started demanding that they let him call you. They couldn’t get him to shut up and rest during the flight to Germany.” Bryan laughed softly and waited as Parker digested everything.

Parker took what felt like his first breath in several minutes and the floodgates opened. He began to cry hysterically as he imagined Ross flying through the air as his leg was ripped off, then crawling for safety. He imagined the fear and pain Ross had to have been in as he fought and bled from his leg and a fucking bullet wound to the chest. Bryan and Ian both held Parker as he screamed and sobbed. Then, Parker started to laugh hysterically. It was mostly relief but there was a trace of disbelief. How could this have happened to Ross?

“But he’s going to live?” Parker searched Bryan’s face and was relieved when he smiled weakly and nodded.

“He’s going to live. The only thing we aren't sure of is how much of his leg they’ll be able to save.” Bryan offered and Parker nodded. He couldn’t admit it, but he didn’t care about the leg, he was so relieved that Ross had survived the fight and was going to live. Another thought took hold.

“He’s done after this, right?” Parker demanded. It felt like the most selfish question he’d ever asked but he didn’t care. He felt Ian squeeze his hand and Bryan looked sad when he nodded.

“Yeah. He won’t go out again. He’ll get discharged.” He swallowed hard and his eyes were drenched when they met Parker’s. “That’s going to be harder for him to get over than losing the leg.” Bryan predicted. Parker ignored the tightness in his chest.

“I’ll help him get through this.” He vowed and Ian nodded in agreement.

“
We’ll
get him through this.” Ian announced before he hopped to his feet. “I don’t know about you two, but I need a drink.” He said as he went to the kitchen.

“It isn’t even 10:00 in the morning.” Bryan argued and Ian gave a him a hard stare from the other side of the counter.

“Really? What time is it in Germany, hon?” Ian asked before he set a bottle of vodka on the counter. Parker couldn’t help but smile.

“You know, I agree.” Parker said as he got up and went to offer his help. Bryan threw his hands up and followed.

“Might as well. Not like we’re doing anything but sitting by the phone.” He admitted.

Chapter 31

Parker paced nervously on the edge of a runway, occasionally glancing at the fog that clung to the ground and the sludge thick grey sky.

“Will they be able to land?” Parker asked as he approached Bryan.

“It’ll be fine. They’re used to landing in much worse.” He reassured Parker as he threw an arm over his shoulder. Parker nodded as he looked back at the sky.

“Thanks for everything.” Parker said and pulled in a deep breath, hoping it would help uncoil the tightness in his chest, stomach and gut. Bryan had called in every favor so they could be waiting and see Ross as soon as he landed at Andrews Air Force Base. He reminded himself that falling apart would only get him escorted off the runway and possibly the base.

“Don’t worry. I did it for Ross as much as I did it for you.” Bryan said as he gave Parker a hug. “Seeing us and knowing that we’re here for him will mean a lot.” He added and Parker felt another swell of emotion as he realized that they were all Ross had. He deserved so much more.

A distant roar reached them and Parker tensed and turned. He scanned the sky and waited for something to come into sight.

“That’s a C-17. That’ll be them.” Bryan said as he rubbed Parker’s shoulders.

A moment later a plane cut through the fog and Parker’s eyes widened in shock as it approached. It was as a hulking behemoth that had no business being in the air. Parker watched in stunned awe as it landed.

“Let’s go.” Bryan called as he ducked into his car. Parker jogged around and got in. He didn’t bother to buckle his belt as Bryan sped toward the plane. They watched as four ambulances and a bus parked near the plane and the back opened. A stream of passengers slowly filed out, some hobbling on crutches. There were wheelchairs pushed by medics before the first patient in a bed was rolled toward an ambulance that had backed up close to the plane. “There he is.” Bryan said. Parker felt his hand press against the middle of his back and he started to run. He reached the plane just as Ross’ bed was rolled onto the runway.

“Ross!” Parker cringed. He probably shouldn’t have yelled but the shock of seeing Ross, weak and strapped to a bed was too much. He looked frail and his skin was a pale grey.

“Parker?” Ross’ eyes struggled to open and his elbows pushed against the mattress in vain as he tried to sit up. “Parker?” His voice was strained as his head lolled on the pillow. Parker clenched his jaw to keep from crying out as tears spilled down his face. He mouthed a silent plea to the medic next to Ross as he tried to move closer. The medic nodded as he stepped back and Parker fought the urge to pull Ross into his arms. Parker gently cupped his cheek and Ross sighed as he pressed his face into Parker’s hand.

“Ross.” Parker’s voice was shredded. “I’m here.” He whispered as he lowered his forehead and rested it on Ross’. “I love you so much and I’m going to take care of you.” Parker promised and tears flooded Ross’ heavy, unfocused eyes.

“It’s you.” Ross breathed. He tilted his head back and his lips brushed against Parker’s and he smiled. “I didn’t think I’d see you again.” Ross mumbled drunkenly. “I just wanted to hear your voice one last time. But you’re here.” He sighed again and his lips rubbed against Parker’s. Just as Parker was about to angle his head and kiss Ross a throat cleared above them and Parker jumped.

“I’m afraid we have to get this patient in an ambulance and on his way to Bethesda.” A stern looking young captain barked as he strode down the ramp. “Major Walters.” He said as he saluted Bryan. “I apologize to interrupt your reunion but we’ve got a patient that needs to go on to Brook to the Burn Unit.” He announced and Bryan nodded as he saluted back.

“We understand.” Bryan said as he put an arm around Parker and guided him back. “We’ll follow them to the Medical Center.” He said as he put his arm around Parker. It took everything within him not to push Bryan away and reach for Ross.

“Parker!” Ross moaned and pain exploded in Parker’s chest.

“I’m right behind you, Ross. I’ll see you as soon as possible.” He promised and Ross became restless and called his name again. Parker’s body was shaking as he watched Ross struggling and incoherent. “Please, be still.” Parker begged. “I’ll see you soon.” He repeated and Ross settled as his eyes found Parker. They were so cloudy and bounced as he tried to focus.

“You’ll be there?” He asked hoarsely and Parker nodded as he felt his self control slipping.

“As soon as they’ll let me.” He promised and Ross relaxed.

Bryan and Parker watched as they wheeled Ross into an ambulance and secured his bed and made sure he was comfortable. As soon as the doors shut, Parker grabbed Bryan and ran for the car.

“I wasn’t expecting him to be so out of it.” Parker said as he craned his neck to keep his eye on Ross’ ambulance. Bryan cringed.

“Part of that’s the morphine. The rest of it’s probably anti-nausea medicine.” Bryan explained. “He’s fine flying as long as he can look out a window and he’s upright. He can’t sleep on a plane. The trip back must have been rough for him, so they probably kept him looped so he wouldn’t throw up all over the place.” He grabbed Parker’s hand and squeezed. “We’ve got him back. That’s all that matters.” Bryan said and Parker nodded as he tried to forget how disoriented and upset Ross sounded before they put him in the ambulance.

Parker held Ross’ hand until he drifted off. He’d become a bit more coherent as they settled him into his room but he was still receiving a high dose of morphine. No one had addressed Ross’ wounds and Parker’s eyes kept darting between Ross’ chest and leg. Both were covered by blankets and sheets and he’d avoided staring while Ross was awake. He looked back at Ross’ face and it was relaxed and his eyes were still shut.
You should look now. You don’t want to upset him if you can’t hold it together the first time you see them.
Parker nodded slightly and his hand shook as he pulled the blankets away from Ross’ side. He carefully lifted the side of Ross’ gown and frowned at the padding taped against his side. Parker only knew the basics of the human anatomy but he knew that it had to be a miracle, the bullet must have gone in at just the right angle to avoid hitting anything critical. Prickling heat washed over Parker and it felt like the floor buckled beneath him as he gently settled Ross’ gown and blankets back in place. He moved lower, down the bed and took a deep breath before he lifted the bedding and draped it back, baring the bandaged stub of Ross’ left leg. He slowly moved to the foot of the bed before he actually looked at it.

Oddly, Parker wasn’t as upset by Ross’ leg as he was about the white square of gauze taped to Ross’ chest. He folded his arms over his chest and frowned at the stump and waited for something dramatic to happen within him. All he saw was months of hard work, for Ross and for himself. There would be a lot of pain and it would be exhausting but they’d get through it and Ross would be as strong and healthy as before.

“How bad is it?” Ross’ voice was gravelly and soft but Parker jumped. “On a scale of one to ten, how bad is it?” He asked again and Parker sighed as he stared at Ross’ leg again.

“Maybe a three or a four. I overheard a nurse mention giving you more antibiotics for infection. Hopefully that will clear it up.” Parker said and Ross shook his head.

“Not that. I mean my leg, as a whole. Well, clearly it isn’t anymore. But, me, with half of my leg gone.” He explained and Parker’s brows pulled together as he tried to make sense of what Ross was asking him.

“Obviously, I’m so sorry that this happened and I wish that it hadn’t. But I’m so damn proud of what you did and more grateful than you can imagine that you survived. The leg itself doesn’t bother me, personally. Well, aside from the fact that I know you’re in incredible pain and I worry about how this will effect you mentally and emotionally. But, it doesn’t change the way I feel about you. It doesn’t alter the way I see you.” Parker insisted and Ross nodded. Parker sensed that he wasn’t convinced.

“I think all of that might wear off when the reality of living with this sets in.” Ross said and Parker shook his head and pointed at Ross’ chest.

“That’s enough of a reality check. All I’ll have to do is look at that scar and realize how close you came to never coming home and your leg won’t seem like that big of a deal.” Parker said and Ross shut his eyes and exhaled loudly.

“I didn't think I was going to make it and I was so scared of what that would do to you.” He whispered and Parker rushed around the bed and reached for Ross. He stopped just before he grabbed his shoulders and groaned as he tried to figure out where it was safe to touch Ross.

“Over here.” Ross raised his left arm and Parker dashed around the bed. “Just avoid my leg, if you can.” He reached for Parker and pulled him close. Parker bent over, gently laying across Ross’ chest. He carefully rested his head on Ross’ right shoulder and moaned happily as his face fell into the corner of Ross’ neck. Ross’ left arm wrapped around Parker and a deep sigh left him. “I would have gone though worse just for this.” He whispered shakily and Parker’s eyes flooded with tears.

“I’m never letting you go again.” Parker promised. “I love you so much and we’re going to get through this.” He felt Ross nod and his arm tightened around Parker.

“I know.” Ross voice was a hard rasp. “I love you too, Parker.”