Counting Stars (A Donnelley Brother's Novel) (17 page)

Read Counting Stars (A Donnelley Brother's Novel) Online

Authors: Alannah Carbonneau

Tags: #romance, #loss, #adult, #emotional, #love story, #healing, #country boys, #new adult, #country boy city girl, #heart breaking romance

BOOK: Counting Stars (A Donnelley Brother's Novel)
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The air was humid by the
time we were finished washing the diner dishes and the sky was
dark. I was pretty sure it was going to rain later tonight, but
hopefully we still got a few hours out of our evening before we had
to go to bed.

Bed. What would we do if
it rained? Logan slept outside beside the fire while I slept in the
tent. If it rained—would he have to come inside with me? Was I okay
with that?

I knew it didn’t really
matter if I was okay with him sleeping inside the tent with me or
not. Forcing him to remain outside in the rain would be downright
impractical. I was a grown woman and I had faith that I could sleep
beside a man without anything happening—including my heart
failing.

Looking up at the sky, I
whispered. “I really hope it doesn’t rain.”

Logan stood from the
riverside. “Why? It hasn’t rained once since we’ve been out here.
It’s getting frighteningly dry. Some rain would be good.”

I didn’t have it in me
to tell him how terrified I was of having to share the tent with
him. I didn’t know how he would react, but I suspected he would
remain outside in the rain if he thought I was in any way
uncomfortable with such a possibility.

“I suppose.” I replied
with a small shrug. “We should probably hurry back.”

He piled the dished in
his arms. “Come on, city girl. Wouldn’t want you to be caught in
the rain now, would we?”

I smirked as I followed
behind him. “I’m not sugar, Logan. I won’t melt.”

“Have I given you any
indication that I’ve mistaken you as sweet enough to be sugar?”

My mouth popped open.
“Pardon me?”

“You heard me.”

“And you don’t know what
I taste like! How do you know I’m not sweet?” As soon as I finished
speaking, I realized what I said. Oh my goodness—I just flirted
with Logan.

My heart was racing as
Logan paused on the outskirt of our makeshift camp. His eyes were
filled with an intense light of challenge as they flickered over my
face, lingering a little too long on my mouth.

Quirking his lips, he
spoke. “I’d be willing to take a taste,” his voice was husky and my
lower belly flipped. “If you’ll let me.”

I couldn’t speak. All I
could see in my mind was Logan leaning in close to take that taste.
He’d press his lips to mine and maybe they’d be soft—but I had a
feeling they’d be hard like the man himself. And warm. They would
be so warm I’d feel the heat like a flame in the deep abyss of my
belly.

But I hadn’t kissed a
man since Derek. In all my life, I’d only been kissed by three
different men and I didn’t know how to move forward now with Logan.
But I wanted to. And that frightened me.

As though understanding
the struggle within my body, Logan shook the heat from his eyes.
“It’s okay, Reese. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“You didn’t.” I
breathed. “I’m just surprised.”

He sauntered into our
little camp, placing the dishes beside the tent where they would
stay safe and dry from whatever havoc the sky decided to spill
later this evening.

“Why?” He stood to his
full height before crossing his arms over his chest. As usual, I
took note of his bulging muscles and blushed.

“Why what?”

“Why would you find it
surprising that I would want to kiss you?” His voice was deep and
throaty. The rumble of it made me shiver and goosebumps appeared
over every inch of my flesh. “You’re a beautiful woman, Reese.”

If my face got any
hotter, we wouldn’t need a fire to keep warm. The heat radiating
off my face would suffice. “Um, that’s not what surprised
me—although I suppose it is surprising, that you would want to,
um,” I was rambling and I had to stop. But I was so nervous.

“What surprised you
then?” He took a careful step toward me and I moved backward toward
the fire.

“Well,” I looked down to
my feet where I wiggled my toes in my flip-flops. “I was flirting
with you.”

“Is that a bad thing?” I
sensed a smile in his tone, but I couldn’t bring myself to look up
into his eyes. It was way too intimidating to me. I was terrified
of where this conversation would lead.

“I,” I breathed in deep.
“I don’t know.”

“Do you want me to want
to kiss you?” He asked bluntly. I could feel his eyes on my face
and I knew I was redder than a ripe tomato. Why he was pressing
this, I didn’t know. Surely he knew I was embarrassed and
uncomfortable.

“Logan,”

“Do you want me to kiss
you, Reese?”

“I don’t know.” I
replied honestly.

At the silence, I looked
up at him. Dark eyes were staring down at me from where he stood a
few meters away. As the silence stretched, I felt my heart beat
faster and harder in my chest. I was nervous. What would he say to
my answer?

Finally, he spoke—but
his words were the last I had expected to hear. “We should enjoy
the fire while we can. It’s bound to be killed by the rain
later.”

Feeling uncertain, I
nodded. “Sure.”

I turned my back to him
as I made my way toward his sleeping bag on the ground. I don’t
know why, but the fact that he let up so easy on whether or not I
wanted him to kiss me was disappointing. I shouldn’t want him to
press me—but I did.

Derek never would have
pressed me for anything, but Logan just seemed like the kind of man
who would press for something he wanted. I couldn’t help but admit
that I wanted him to push me past my limits. I was comfortable with
Logan. I trusted him. I knew that if there was any man who would be
the man after Derek—I wanted it to be Logan. But how was I supposed
to admit that to him?

Lowering myself to the
blanket, I pulled my knees up into my chest. My skin was still
pebbled from the shiver that had run through me and as Logan sat
beside me, he noticed.

“You’re cold.”

“No,” I shook my head,
but I moved closer to the fire regardless. “I’m alright.”

He frowned at me as he
tugged a sweater from his pack. “Here, put this on.”

I took the sweater from
him before quickly pulling it over my head. It smelled like Logan.
Like dirt and soap and man. It was a decadent scent and I couldn’t
stop myself from pulling another long and hopefully discrete
inhalation into my lungs.

“Thanks.” I
murmured.

He sighed. “Look up at
the sky.”

I did. Menacing black
clouds were rolling overhead and the air around us was growing
thicker with the threat of rain. We had to discuss sleeping
arrangements before the clouds started trying to drown us. “Are you
going to stay in the tent tonight?”

Logan glanced down at me
and I cast my gaze onto the fire. “Would that make you too
uncomfortable?”

“No.” I replied softly.
“I trust you and I’m comfortable with you.”

“Then yes,” he nodded.
“I’ll stay in the tent tonight.”

“Okay.” I sighed,
wrapping my arms tighter around my legs.

Silence pulsed between
us and I wished desperately that he would say something—anything.
The last thing I wanted to do was allow awkwardness to fester
between us, but I didn’t know how to stop that from happening. I
felt stuck and I didn’t know what to do from here—or where to
go.

“What’s going on in that
mind of yours?” Logan asked gruffly and I let my eyes flutter up to
meet his. They were filled with a light of curiosity that I wanted
to sate.

“Well,” I sighed. “I
suppose I’m thinking about us.”

“Us?” He asked in
surprise. “What about us?”

“Our relationship?”

“As?”

I frowned, feeling
uncertain. My uncertainty sounded loud in my reply, “Friends?”

“Alright,” Logan nodded.
“You’re thinking of us as friends. What about, exactly?”

“Well,” I shrugged. “I
just don’t want things to ever get awkward between us.”

“And you think that
because I want to kiss you, things will get awkward?”

I shrugged. “I don’t
know.”

“I’m perfectly capable
of restraining myself, Reese.” He sounded tense. “I’m not going to
force myself on you. If you don’t want me to kiss you, I
won’t.”

“That’s not what I
meant.” I whispered.

I watched his lips part
as a loud crack of thunder sounded overhead and I jumped. Logan
glared up at the sky and its inconvenient time to throw a tantrum.
“Tell me what you mean, Reese.”

“I don’t know,” I shook
my head desperately. “I don’t know what I want from this,
Logan.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m confused.”

His lips tensed into a
hard line on his face and a muscle in his cheek jumped as he
clenched his teeth. “Well, let me make my feelings clear to you.”
His eyes were determined on mine and no matter how nervous I felt
in this moment, I couldn’t bring myself to look away from him. “I
like you, Reese. I like the woman I’ve gotten to know in the last
week. Whether you want friendship from me or more—I’ll take it.
Because as far as I’m concerned, anything with you is better than
nothing.” He ran a hand through his short hair. “I don’t know what
it is about you, but you make me laugh. You make me feel happy
inside, and yeah, I’ll admit I want more than friendship with you,
Reese.”

“Logan,” I blinked back
the moistness in my eyes.

He continued. “But I know
you’re going through a lot right now and I want you to heal before
you take a chance with someone else—whether I’m that someone or
not. I won’t push myself on you, Reese. If you want more, you’ll
have to tell it to me straight.”

 

 

Looking back
now, I’m not sure if Mother Nature was taking pity on me—or if she
was trying to give me a real good shove in the right direction.

Rain poured from the sky
as another crack of thunder roared. There was no warning for the
waterfall that fell from the sky. Rather than opening the curtains
of the storm with a few drops of forewarning, an entire lake was
practically dropped on us.

It was both a blessing
and a curse, I think, because I didn’t have time to respond to
Logan as we frantically stood up from the now sopping wet sleeping
bag.

“Shit,” Logan growled as
he frenziedly wrapped up the blanket and I reached for his
pack.

Running to the tent, I
heard Logan moving behind me. He dropped the sleeping bag on the
ground beside the tent where no water was hitting as it was covered
by the stretch of the tarp.

“Hurry,” I called as I
tore open the zipper with wet fingers before throwing his pack
inside the tent.

I pushed myself inside
the tent with Logan close on my heels. Sitting on the plastic of
the tent floor, I started laughing. Hysterically.

Logan swung his eyes to
my face and his frown turned into a quirky grin. Water dripped from
the tip of his nose. “What are you laughing at?”

“Us.” I held my belly.
“Oh my goodness! Where did that even come from?”

He glared at the door of
the tent as though telling the sky to screw off and sighed. “I have
no clue. But I’m soaked.”

“We have to get out of
these clothes.” My words held the power to electrify the air
between us and I was brought back, face to face, with his earlier
confession. “Um, I’ll go change under the tarp outside, if you
want.”

He shook his head. “You
stay in here.” He reached a hand into his pack, pulling out a pair
of shorts. “I’ll go outside.”

I nodded and waited with
a rapidly beating heart for him to leave. As soon as he was
standing on the other side of the tent, I peeled the wet clothing
from my body. My heart was drumming itself against the cage of my
chest as I thought about the night we would face together. With his
blanket now soaking wet, we only had mine. Was I ready for
this?

Shaking the thought from
my mind, I pulled a pair of boxer shorts onto my hips before
tugging a tank top over my head. I called out to Logan. “You can
come back inside.”

As soon as the words
sounded from my mouth, I heard him tugging on the zipper. He
stepped inside the tent and suddenly the space felt small and
tight. My heart was a quick pitter-patter in my chest as I stared
up at him. I felt his dark eyes roam over my body and even though I
had worn less clothing than this in his presence, I suddenly and
inexplicably felt naked.

Scooting back onto the
head of my sleeping bag, I pulled my knees up into my chest. “I
don’t know what to do now.”

“Do you want to play a
game of cards?” Logan asked gently and I knew he could sense my
unease.

“You have cards?”

He nodded. “I do.”

“I’d love to, but it’s
getting really dark.” I looked around the tent. “I don’t think we’d
be able to play for more than a half hour before there’s no light
at all.”

“I’ve got a battery
powered lamp.” I watched as he bent over his pack to search through
it for the lamp and cards. “We can play for a while.”

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