Conklin's Corruption (#3) (Conklin's Trilogy) (13 page)

I smiled and went to the table where both of our parents were lounging to set our towels down.  Mary had passed Emmet over to RJ.  There was a sight I never thought I’d see.  RJ surprisingly held Emmett with ease, gently bouncing him on his knee while making goofy faces at him.  I caught Tyler watching RJ, confusion written all over his face.  Mary’s eyes longingly watched as well, probably thinking this was how life was supposed to be.

“Becca sweetie, you look great!  The gym has been on your side!” my mother complimented.

My hand was hovering over my stomach self-consciously.  She wasn’t one to make positive comments about my looks.  Was she just saying it because she felt she had to after our run in at the Christmas party?

“Thanks,” I mumbled while looking at the ground. 

I felt a pair of wet hands on my hips.  “She’s always been beautiful.”  My face heated with embarrassment and gratitude as Tyler kissed my cheek from behind.

“Can’t argue that,” my father smiled.  I looked at him to find his kind brown eyes.  “Wait until you have a daughter, Tyler.  The thought of shooting boys never sounded so easy.”

Everyone laughed as Tyler dropped his hands from my waist and gave an uneasy laugh.

“That’s why I’m glad I didn’t have any girls,” RJ said, tipping his glass towards my father.

Tyler huffed under his breath. I was sure I was the only one who heard him.

“A girl would’ve been wonderful to have.  We’ll just have to settle for a granddaughter,” Mary said, reaching to take Emmett from RJ.  RJ zoomed him back to Mary as though he were a rocket ship, making Emmett giggle.

RJ and Mary laughed, and the look on Tyler’s face was one of disgust.

A wet Josie came out of the pool stairs and over to me, tugging on my hand to join her in the pool.  “Come on Auntie B!”

“Okay, okay,” I laughed as she pulled me to the edge of the stairs.

Once I was half way down the stairs, Josie scurried back over to our parents.  “Why aren’t you swimming?” she asked with her hands on her hips, her determined face meeting all of our parents.

RJ smiled and cocked his head at Josie.  “You want us to swim?”

Josie moved over to him, her body still dripping with water.  “Yes.  You’re Tyler’s dad, right?  So are you my Grandpa, too?”

RJ laughed.  “Whatever you want to call me is fine.  But I don’t have my suit, sorry sweetie.”

“I’m sure Max has a suit you can borrow.  A swim with your granddaughter would be nice for you, too,” my mother said, nudging my father’s knee.

My father rolled his head and gave my mom a half grin then set his drink down.  “I guess we could do that. RJ, I’m sure I can find you a suit if you’re interested.”

“Yeah!  Please, please, please!” Josie begged.

RJ laughed again and stood to follow my father.  “Only for you, Princess.”

***

“Can you believe RJ?”  Tyler roared as we pulled out of my parents' driveway.  It was nearing 7:00 p.m., and we were at my parent’s way longer than we had anticipated.  “He must have thrown Josie around that pool at least 15 times and pushed her on the swing for a half hour.  I mean, who is he trying to impress?”

Tyler was furious.  I couldn’t pinpoint why he was so mad.  “And my mother! She wouldn’t let that baby go.  She has never held a baby that long in her life!”  His knuckles were white from gripping the steering wheel so tightly.  “The whole talk about how he was so proud his son is getting married and ready to really start living.  He always made it sound like marriage was the biggest trap in the world!”

I sank into the seat next to him, unsure what to say.  RJ acted completely different today around my family.  He was still his mischievous self but actually acted like he cared.  It felt normal, how a family should behave.

“Maybe he’s trying, Tyler.”

“Oh, now you’re on his side, too?  First my mother, then your father, now you?  Why am I the only one who can see through his bullshit!” he shouted.

I crossed my arms and shut my mouth.  If he were going to be an asshole every time I commented on the way home, then I wasn’t going to participate in his rant.

“And RJ suggesting we all have dinner together?  Offering to pray before we ate?  What the fuck was that about?  RJ has never said a prayer in his life!”  Tyler continued to grumble the entire ride home while I stared out the window.  Once we pulled into the driveway, he finally addressed me.  “Are you going to say anything or just remain on their side?” he barked.

I whipped my head in his direction.  “Who said I was on their side?  And no, I’m not going to say anything when you just attack me for giving my honest opinion.”

Tyler clenched his jaw and rolled his eyes.

“Don’t roll your eyes at me.  You know it’s true.  I’m not going to respond if you’re looking for someone to argue with.”

Tyler took a deep breath and turned off the car.  He leaned back in his seat remaining quiet.

Breaking the silence I said, “If you want to talk about this afternoon, that’s fine, but I won’t be used as a punching bag.”

He closed his eyes.  “You’re right, I’m sorry.”

I nodded my head in acceptance.  “Why does RJ acting that way make you so angry?  Same with your mother?”  I bravely asked.

He looked towards the roof of the Lexus.  “I don’t know.  We’ve never spent time together like this.  RJ has never made time for us.  It’s like he’s doing this complete one eighty, and I can’t figure out what his tactic is.”

“Ty, maybe he truly wants to mend your relationship.  He has been treating your mom better, hasn’t he?”

“So she says,” he sighed.

“Why not give him a chance?” I said sincerely.

He was silent for a long moment.  “I don’t trust him,” he whispered.

I finally took off my seatbelt and started to crawl across the middle console and onto his lap.  I was thankful for his long legs, causing the seat to be pushed back far enough for me to squeeze in between him and the steering wheel.

I took his face in my hands and said.  “You have to trust people Ty.  I know it’s hard, but sometimes we all need to shift our faith into gear, even if the bridges we’re driving over have been burned.”

His eyes looked so pained, as though I were holding the face of a little boy who’d been crushed after his dad missed his baseball game for the umpteenth time.

“It’s hard,” he whispered.

I pressed our foreheads together and moved my hands to his chest.  “Trust me, I know.  But it’s not worth being angry over things that happened in the past.  All it will do is bring you down.”

Tyler was very still for a long moment.  Just as I was about to say more, his hands slowly slunk across my thighs and up my dress as his mouth found mine.  This was how he coped with his emotions.  Whenever we started to poke at the deep and damaged feelings he had for his family, Tyler became physical as though he was trying to block out his pain.  One day I was going to have to resist him so we could tackle his feelings, but he felt so broken.  His touch was so needy. He acted like our connection was the only thing that would save him from falling off the edge.

Chapter 8

Tyler

The sun was setting by the time I was finished making love to Becca.  I was exhausted, resting my head in the crook of her neck, my body snug to her side.  I slowly rotated my thumb across her bicep.  Her breathing was still heavy.  I might have worked the aggression out of me a little too hard.  I didn’t understand the feelings that were rising inside of me.  My heart told me to accept them, but my mind was telling me otherwise.  How do you embrace a complete opposite perception of someone you’ve known your entire life?

Becca’s hand found my hair, her fingers slowly making patterns along my scalp.  I couldn’t help but close my eyes, feeling her comfort.  She didn’t say anything, but her chest eventually began rising and falling into its normal calm pattern, helping to lull me to sleep.

Just as the sun completely left the sky, my office phone rang.  No one ever called that number on a Sunday.  I wanted to ignore it, but at the same time I didn’t want Becca to wake.  I cautiously rose from the bed, untangling our body parts as gently as I could.  I was pleased when she rolled to her side without making a sound. 

Pulling on a pair of shorts, I quietly made my way up the spiral staircase.  The call went to voicemail before I could answer.  My ears stung when RJ’s voice came over on the message machine.

“Tyler, it’s me.  I just wanted to say I had a good time today.  It was a good start at building our relationship.  I really want our family to feel… normal, like an actual family.  I know we have a lot of work to do, but I hope you’re willing to keep trying.  The way your mom glowed being around family, it’s contagious.  I’m with her totally now.  I want what she wants, Tyler.  I want my sons to play golf with me then go home and have a barbeque on Sunday evenings with my grandkids.  I know I wasn’t around when you were growing up, and I pawned you and your brothers off on your mother and grandparents, and I’m sorry.  I want this to work.  We should grab lunch tomorrow and talk more since we’ll both be in Grand Rapids.”

RJ paused, and I tentatively reached for the phone to answer his call, but he started to talk again.  “I decided you were partially right about Chino.  Tomorrow at the meeting, we’ll discuss a better outcome for his projects.  I’ll tell him we won’t, now or ever, be partnering on his subdivisions, and if he wants to badger us anymore, he can find himself a new architect.”

I swallowed hard, fighting a lump in my throat. 

“Anyway, that’s all I needed to say.  We can talk more tomorrow.  I love you son.”

My mind was screaming at me to pick up the phone, but my hand sat shaking next to the receiver.  RJ paused for a moment before he hung up, as if he knew I was hanging by a thread intently listening.

I sat at my desk and put my head in my hands.  Was he telling the truth?  Can we really be normal after all we’ve been through?  Could we possibly just start over? 

I shook my head; he had hurt me so many times throughout life.  Forgiving him felt damn near impossible.

***

My phone startled me awake.  It was a little after 6:00a.m., and I hadn’t slept a wink last night.  I moved myself out to the deck, spending the night listening to the waves and staring out at the stars.  My heart was heavy with indecision, wondering if I could ever truly trust RJ.  My phone beeped again, and I reached to see what all of the messages were about.  I had three text messages and one urgent email that kept beeping.  I figured it couldn’t be that urgent or else whoever it was from would have called me by now.  I checked the texts. One was from Nathan while the other two were from RJ.  The first was a simple, you around?  Then the second was about lunch.  I blew out air in contemplation as my thumbs hovered over the letters.

Sure -Tyler

Lunch couldn’t hurt.  If he wanted to be a part of mine and Becca’s life, then he was going to have a lot of ass kissing to do for me to believe him.

I stood stiffly from the lounger and stretched.  My back was going to hate me all day from attempting to sleep out here.  I opened the slider as quietly as I could to find Becca still passed out from last night.  A half smile crossed my lips as I watched her sleep.  I was so lucky to at least have one constant in my life, and soon she would legally be mine forever. 

Gently closing the slider, I tiptoed to the bathroom to get ready for meeting with RJ and Chino.  Nathan’s text was a confirmation that he was going to be at the meeting this morning as well.

I stepped into the warm water and thought about how today might play out.  Nathan was going to be irritated as hell with RJ threatening Chino.  Nathan was as money hungry as RJ and might not appreciate RJ’s sudden change of heart. 

I shook my head.  I’d have to believe RJ’s promises when he followed through.  Getting out of the shower, I dressed for work, my heart not feeling as heavy as my mind began to accept the idea of RJ being a part of my life like a normal father.  A glimpse of the possible future infiltrated my mind as I tied my tie.  A little boy about Josie’s age was sitting on my lap with a Cubs hat at a baseball game.  RJ was sitting next to us, leaning down and pointing out the baseball players to the little boy. To my little boy.

My stomach fluttered.  I had never really pictured myself with my own kid.  Maybe an actual relationship with my father would be nice.  I could start calling him Dad instead of RJ.

Becca was still sound asleep when I walked out of the closet.  I sat down on the bed next to her, admiring her natural beauty.  Her alarm would go off in a few minutes, so I didn’t feel bad for running my hand along her back trying to coax her to open her eyes.

She slowly lifted her heavy lids, and a small smile crossed her lips before she buried her head into the pillow.  I grinned at her shyness.  Some things might never change.

“Good morning, baby doll,” I greeted, leaning down to nuzzle the side of her neck.