Conklin's Corruption (#3) (Conklin's Trilogy) (17 page)

“Tyler, Nathan, Mitch, I’m sorry for your loss as well,” Chino said, moving his greedy eyes towards Nathan and me.  I felt Becca squeeze my hand.  Did she realize how much this man got to me?  I straightened, trying not to look affected.

“Thank you,” I said stiffly, taking my hand from Becca’s to shake Chino’s.

“Thank you for coming,” Nathan added.

Chino nodded and shook Nathan’s hand.  “My assistant will call your assistant Nathan to reschedule our previous meeting. When you’re ready of course.”  He turned to look at me, his head cocked to the side. “Or do they call your assistant, Tyler?  Did RJ leave you in charge?”

I didn’t like the daring gleam that was in his eye, as though he were challenging me to go against RJ’s wishes.  My jaw was clenched, and it was difficult to keep my cool around the company I was with.

Nathan sensed my animosity.  “Our assistants will contact you in due time,” he said strongly.  I glanced at Nathan, a bit of my tension released to see he was irritated with Lee’s comment.  Truth was, neither of us had looked at his will or knew who the company was left to. 

All I knew was I would do everything in my power to keep that man out of the Conklin business.

“Lee, I think talking business is a little inappropriate at the moment,” Margo piped in, her eyes glaring at Chino.  My mother gave a slight smile in agreeance with Margo.

Lee’s eyes grew narrow with annoyance when he turned to look at Margo.  “Of course, I apologize, Mary.  I truly am sorry.”

My mother gave him a grateful nod then was approached by one of the funeral directors.

“Mrs. Conklin, the service will start in 30 minutes.  I suggest you and your family meet the priest in the prayer room.”

Mary nodded, cutting in front of Chino, reaching for both Nathan and my arms.

“We’ll talk soon,” Lee’s voice trailed behind us, sounding more like a threat than a casual goodbye.

***

I hadn’t looked at RJ yet.  Somehow I had managed to avoid opening his casket.  The psychologist on staff came to the funeral home for our first meeting.  I guess Nathan thought we all needed to talk with him.  He said seeing RJ in his final state of rest might erase the last image we had of him.

Nothing could erase that.

I felt a chill crawl up my spine, and I shook my head, standing from the table where my family sat in the reception.  All eyes were on me.

“I need to use the restroom,” I mumbled while pushing in my chair.

My mother’s hushed whisper was impossible for me to miss.  “I’m worried about him.”

After vigorously rinsing my face with water and staring blankly at my pale reflection, I managed to head back out into the hallway.  To my surprise, Becca was leaning on a pillar with her cell phone in hand.

“Hey.  Jamie called.  She wanted me to pass on her condolences and tell you she hooked a huge account in Miami.” She ended with a smile, and I gulped trying to return the smile back.

Her smile faded as she reached to touch my face.  I turned my head, afraid to meet her eyes. 

What the hell was wrong with me?  Get it together Conklin!

“Is it time to leave for the grave site yet?” I asked, staring off towards the reception room.

“About twenty minutes.  Your mother wants us all to ride in the Bentley.”

I rolled my eyes.  “I’d rather we took the Maserati.”

“I know, but it would make your mother feel better if you all arrived together,” she said gently.

I closed my eyes for a long moment then nodded my head.

Silenced passed by us for a long moment.  “Do you want to wait out here or—”

“Yeah, go ahead, I’ll join you in a minute,” I said, reading her mind.  I sensed her big blue eyes looking at me, filled with concern, but I refused to look at her.  Finally she strolled back to the reception hall as I sat down on a bench.

People began filing out of the reception hall as I blankly stared off into the distance, trying to contain whatever strange emotions were bottled up inside my chest.

Nathan quietly sat next to me on the small bench, leaning back into the wall with his hands on his knees.  He didn’t say anything. 

“Mom wants us—”

“Becca already told me,” I snapped, knowing what he was going say.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.  “Don’t shut her out, Tyler.”

I rolled my eyes and stood from the bench, trying to get space from Nathan.  “Mom will be fine.”

“I’m not talking about Mom,” Nathan said, standing, taking a step towards me.  “Don’t push Becca away.”

My head shot up like whiplash.  “I’m not,” I said defensively.

“Well, you’re sure acting like it.  You need her,” he said sternly.  “Stop being such an introverted dick.”

I glared at him.  I wasn’t being introverted, and I sure as hell wasn’t pushing Becca away.  God forbid I just wanted a little space to try and understand what the hell was going on in my brain.  Becca understood too. She was handling me at an arm’s length, which is exactly what I needed.

“Mom is waiting for us to escort her.  Let’s go,” Nathan commanded in his older brother tone.  I huffed under my breath and followed.

Chapter 11

Becca

Today was one of the most awful days I had experienced.  I had never been in a room filled with such sorrow and hurt, but the only person’s pain I had trouble feeling was Tyler’s.  He hid it too well, and the funny looks on people’s faces after they shook his hand and offered their condolences was impossible to miss.

“He doesn’t look too effected.”
  I heard an older gentleman say.  “
Probably because he didn’t get along with RJ.  Everyone knows they butt heads more than Democrats and Republicans,”
another gentleman replied.

My poor Ty.  If only he would let me into his head.

“Are you hungry?” I asked as we entered his lofty condo at Elysian.  We had declined his mother’s invitation to stay with her at their estate tonight.  I wasn’t surprised.

“No,” he simply said, taking off his sport coat and walking towards his office.

Tyler hadn’t eaten anything all day, and I was beginning to worry.  His lack of appetite was his only tell that the day had affected him.

Watching him walk down the hall, I decided to give him more space.  Tomorrow we would lay around, hopefully cuddle in bed, and he could finally mourn.

Wandering into the kitchen, I raided the cupboards, not surprised to find minimal food.  The freezer had some frozen veggies, but they just didn’t sound good.  I grabbed my phone from my handbag and decided to call for a pizza.  Yes, I hated eating pizza, especially when I had to go wedding dress shopping in a month, but Tyler loved watching me eat it and rarely turned it down.

After ordering the pizza, I stopped at Tyler’s office to tell him I was going to hop in the shower, hoping maybe he would jump up and join me, but his eyes never left his computer screen.

The shower was lonely and big, and I never thought I would crave Tyler’s touch more.  Maybe I was being greedy, but today had been hard on me as well.  I didn’t know RJ that well, but death wasn’t something I was familiar with.  I didn’t know how to respond to people when they asked me questions about our wedding.  Was I supposed to be happy?  Was it okay if I let a smile slip?  Neither Tyler nor his family smiled.

Resisting the urge to throw on a t-shirt, I grabbed a silk nighty instead.  I don’t know why I wanted to be sexy for Tyler, but maybe I needed the intimate connection more than he did after this long and awful day.  Hearing the buzzer, I threw on my silk thigh length robe to meet the pizza man at the door.  Tyler beat me to it.

“I’m surprised you ordered pizza,” he said stiffly, setting the box down on the kitchen island.

“I thought it might sound good,” I answered, reaching into the cabinets for plates.

He wiggled his nose. 

“Ty, you haven’t eaten all day,” I pleaded.

“Don’t tell me I need to eat.  You get pissed off at me whenever I say anything about food to you,” he snapped.

I flinched at his comment.

He relaxed his shoulders and raised his eyes to meet mine.  “I’m sorry.  Some pizza does sound good.”

I gave him a soft smile and pulled two pieces out of the box and put them on a plate.  He took a seat at the bar, reaching for the plate.

“Want some wine?  Water?  I think I saw some Gatorade,” I asked, turning to the fridge.

“Gatorade’s fine,” he said quietly while picking up his pizza.

I smiled and grabbed a Gatorade and a water for myself and sat next to Tyler to attempt to enjoy our Hawaiian pizza together.

***

“Do you like my new nighty?” I asked Tyler as I slipped off my robe to crawl into bed.

He turned his head to me as he undid his cuff links.  “Yeah.  You know I love that color on you,” he said sweetly, except his voice didn’t match his eyes.  He barely looked at me.

My face fell as I pulled the covers to my waist.

Tugging his buttons free, Tyler tossed his shirt in the laundry basket, his pants quickly following.

“I thought maybe we could go to Millennium Park tomorrow,” I started to say, trying not to feel rejected.

Tyler shook his head as he pulled his side of the bed covers back.  “I have non-stop meetings tomorrow at the office.”

I looked at him dumbfounded.  Even Nathan was taking the day off tomorrow.  “Why don’t you take the day off.  We can stay here through the weekend, just the two of us.”

“Becca, I can’t do that,” he said, irritation laced with is words. 

“Ty—”

“No.  Don’t ‘Ty’ me.  The world has to keep spinning, Becca, including our business.  With RJ gone, there is more work that needs to be done,” he said flatly.

I sighed, starting to feel a small bit of defeat.  “Do it for me?” I begged, pulling out my ultimate weapon.  He turned to look at me, the same tiny hint of hurt filling his eyes.  My heart broke for him with that one look.  “Baby—” I started as I tilted my head in concern.

Tyler sat up in bed, holding his arm out as though to stop me from trying to comfort him.  “Becca, I’m sorry, but I can’t tomorrow or Saturday.  Sunday we can do something together.  Don’t you need to work on the Arena project?” he asked skeptically.

I sat back, shocked he would bring up my own work.  “I’ve got a handle on it,” I said defensively.

His eyes met mine, hard and fast.  I bit my lip, his look flipping a switch inside of me.  If I could beg with one look, I was doing it.  I needed him to touch me. It had been too intense of a day, and only his firm hands could make my unsettled feeling go away.

Tyler’s eyes dilated then he closed them, lowering his body to the mattress.  “We should sleep,” he said quietly, reaching to turn off the bedside lamp.

I stayed sitting on the bed in the dark.  I had just been denied.  So, it was only a seductive look, but that was normally all it took.  I shook my head.  He was hurting, no matter how much he was going to deny it.  I laid down in the silence, pushing away any doubts about his feelings for me.  He loved me still, didn’t he?

“I love you, Ty.  Goodnight,” I said quietly, terrified he might not respond.

I felt the bed move then his hands pulled me to his broad chest.  “I love you too, Becs,” he whispered in the darkness.

His breath was hot against my cheek while his chest rose quickly. Tilting my head to meet his, our lips were barely an inch apart.  “Please kiss me,” I said softly.

The yearning in my voice was undeniable.  The need for him to hold me, to comfort the both of us, was empowering.  His mouth slowly met mine, locking tenderly around my lower lip.  He sucked gently, reassuring that this whole mess wouldn’t come between us.

We kissed slowly for what felt like an hour, our hands never wandering, merely holding each other.

With a shaky breath I broke away from our kissing. “Sleep baby.”  It was my way of telling him I understood he was tired and had possibly one of the longest days of his life.  I knew that he wasn’t ready to talk about it, and I would be there for him when he was ready.

But, I didn’t know how long
I
could keep him at an arm’s length. 

***

The weekend was horribly long and quiet.  Tyler worked long days in Chicago both Friday and Saturday and was holed up in his office most of Sunday.  Even the car ride back to Grand Rapids was long and silent.  He was doing it, pushing me away. 

His demeanor was his old self, quiet and focused, not flirty and loving like he normally was with me.  I really thought he would break by now. I thought he would start mourning and need me to comfort him.  Even our nights felt distant.  The only way I would get attention was if I showed interest. Otherwise, he would roll over and go to sleep, or at least pretend to.