Confessions (23 page)

“This is Nikki Truth and you're on the air.”

“Hello, Ms. Nikki.”

The male voice sounded vaguely familiar. “Hello, who am I speaking to?”

“This is Junior.”

Mr. Loser. Ain't this some shit. “Well, well, well…long time, no hear. That must have been some woman!” I said with dramatic emphasis.

“She was…or rather, she still is.”
He took a deep breath.
“What do you do when you love a woman with all your heart and she doesn't love you back?”

I took a moment to think about an answer. “You open up your heart to that person, and if they don't love you back, then you find the strength to move on. There is someone out there for everyone, and if she doesn't feel the same way, then maybe the two of you aren't meant to be together.”

“I don't agree. We fit so good together. I love her with everything I have, and if her husband wasn't standing in the way, we would have been perfect together, I know we would.”

Oh, my God! I choked on my spit. Nobody talks like that but…“Kenyon, is that you?”

There was silence on the air, and then I heard that eerie laugh.
“Yes, baby, it's me.”

It took everything I had not to cuss him out over the air. “I thought you said your name was Junior?”

Suddenly his voice changed to the one I had grown accustomed to hearing.
“I am a junior. I'm named after my father.”
He started laughing as if it were the funniest thing in the world. “I just didn't want everybody in my business.”

I looked across the glass at Tristan, who was up out of his chair with his hand cupping his mouth, eyes bugging out of his head. I was on the air, and there was no way I was about to fall apart. I just needed to hold it together and play along.

“Junior…did you say she's married?”

“
Yes, but she isn't happy with him,”
he replied. I was surprised he was playing along with me.

“You knew when you first got involved with a married woman, chances were the relationship couldn't be anything but temporary.” I was so pissed I could have screamed, but this was probably my last chance at talking sense to this dude.

“B-but she wasn't happy. Now that he's back from the war he's got her mind all confused and she's feeling guilty about no longer loving him.”

This dude was crazier than I thought. “Did she tell you she loved her husband?”

“
Yes, b-but I know s-she loves me.”
Kenyon always stutters when he gets nervous.

“Yes, maybe she does, but it sounds to me like she loves her husband more. I'm assuming the two of you got involved while her husband was over in Iraq, is that correct?”

His voice softened. “
Yes, and we fell in love
.”

“But what did she tell you?”

He released a heavy sigh. “
That she owed it to her husband and her marriage to try.”

“And why can't you respect that?”

“B-because I know s-she's confused.”

“Doesn't sound like she's confused to me. Instead it sounds like you refuse to accept that our…I mean, your relationship is over.”

“I believe in fighting for what is mine!”

“But she isn't yours. Legally she belongs to another man. There's a saying—let her go and if she's yours, she'll come back to you.”

“Wow! My mother told me the same thing.”

Damn, that fool's mama is dead. “Then you need to listen to her. Marriage is a sacred union. Are you a Christian?”

“Yes. I've been praying to the Lord.”

“Then you know what she's doing is right. How about praying to the Lord to give you the strength to move on?”

“Because she's mine!”

“If she's married, she was never yours in the first place.”

“
There's nothing wrong with having hope.”

“Then keep hope alive.” I hung up. “Sorry, but that's one brotha who refuses to believe it over. We're about to take a commercial break, and when we get back we're gonna switch gears and discuss why women mess with married men.”

I took the headset off and was clearly shaking. I had been involved with Mr. Loser. Kenyon Monroe and Mr. Loser were one and the same. It was so crazy I started laughing. Many times I had said, what woman in her right mind would want to date that dude? And now I was one of those women. By the time Tristan had come to my office, I had tears in my eyes.

“Are you okay?”

Shaking my head, I reached for a tissue. “Hell, nah, I'm not okay.”

Tristan took a seat beside me, eyes bugged out. “Oh, my goodness, girl. You were dating that loser.”

I took a few seconds to think about it, then took one look at Tristan. The two of us exploded with laughter. What could possibly happen next?

“Well, what do you think?”

I looked at Leon totally in shock. “What I think is…I've got to be dreaming.”

I stood in the living room of a forty-two-hundred square foot home with twelve-foot ceilings, a spiral staircase and more room than my current furniture would fill.

“I love it!” I threw myself into his arms. “Thank you so much.”

Leon kissed me, then stared down in my eyes. “You're my wife, and there isn't anything I wouldn't do for you. All I ask is you love me in return.”

I started crying. I couldn't help it. I didn't deserve this man. I knew that now. “I still can't believe I almost lost you.”

“You got me now.”

What he did next made my jaw drop. Leon got down on one knee and reached for my hand.

“Leon…w-what are you doing?”

He grinned. “What does it look like I'm doing? I'm getting ready to propose to your sexy behind, again. Now hush.”

It took everything I had to hold it together when he began to speak.

“Netta, I knew from the first time I set eyes on you, you would be the woman I would spend the rest of my life with. And nothing has changed. My heart still beats heavily every time you're around. My body craves your touch when you're gone. My life isn't complete without you in it, and you would make me the happiest man in the world if you would marry me again.”

I was bawling because I was so happy. I had almost lost this man until God had given me a second chance, and there was no way in hell I was going to ever take him for granted again. Trust and believe. “Yes, yes, I wanna marry you again.”

He rose and dipped down and captured me in a kiss. It was by far the best I'd ever had. I held on tight and didn't want to let him go. There was no telling how long we would have stood there kissing if we hadn't heard someone clear her throat. I turned around.

“I'm sorry to interrupt, but does that mean you decided to take the house?”

I looked from the realtor to my husband and started laughing. I forgot she was even there. I nodded. “Yes, we'll take it.”

We spent a fabulous weekend together, and on Monday I climbed out my car with the biggest smile on my face. Who could believe marriage could be so grand? After putting an offer on the house, Leon took me to a fabulous Thai restaurant where we had spicy noodles and meat, then we spent the evening in bed hugging and holding each other and simply talking. It was amazing how much the two of us had to talk about. Eight years' worth.

I strolled into the building, waving at Chuck, then swung my hips as I moved toward my desk.

“Good morning, everyone,” I sang merrily.

“Good morning, Trinette,” Patricia said with her brow up inquisitively. “How was your weekend?” I already knew her nosy behind wanted all the details.

“Fabulous. We spent a great deal of time talking, put an offer on a house and we went shopping for this little thing.” I swung my hand out.

Patricia took one look at the diamond glittering on my finger and jumped from her seat and came over. “Let me see your hand.” She practically yanked my arm out the socket. “Is that a yellow diamond?”

I nodded. “It's a canary yellow diamond. A ten thousand dollar diamond.” I made sure I said it loud enough for Maureen to hear me as she strolled in late as usual. She tried to act like she wasn't interested in what we were talking about, but I knew better.

The day after being at the motel with Michael, I had come in prepared to fight. Trust and believe, I left the hoop earrings at home and a small jar of Vaseline was still in my purse. Luckily, Maureen's behavior in the office hadn't changed. She came in talking about her house and husband as usual, so I was no longer sure it was her who tried to run me down in the parking lot.

I looked at Patricia, but I spoke loud and clear for the whole office to hear. “Leon said he wants to renew our vows. Girl, he dropped down on one knee and proposed to me all over again, then said he wanted to buy me a new ring.” I held out my hand for the others who crowded around to see. “I knew this was the ring the moment I saw it.”

“I guess so at that price,” Maureen mumbled under her breath. She walked over and took a look and tried not to look impressed. I couldn't help but glance down at her finger. Her diamond didn't in any way compare to mine. And to think I thought her man was everything. “It's nice,” she said with a shrug. “I don't really care for colored stones.”

I pursed my lips. “That's funny, 'cause a month ago you were talking about getting a chocolate diamond.”

She rolled her eyes and returned to her seat. “Actually Michael's planning to buy me a pink diamond.”

I just bet he is. She was hating, and I wasn't in the mood for her shit. This was my time to shine, and no one was going to take that from me.

As soon as everyone had a chance to look and compliment, I walked up to my supervisor's door and knocked.

Yolanda smiled. “Hey, Trinette. Come on in.”

I stepped in swinging my hand, making sure she saw my finger. “I would like to talk to you in private if that's okay.”

“Sure, close the door.” I pulled the door behind me and moved over and took a seat across from her.

Her brow rose curiously. “What's going on?”

I couldn't believe I was about to do this. “I would like to let you know I will be joining my husband in Richmond in June.”

She removed her glasses from her eyes as if she needed to look at me closer. “Are you saying you're leaving?”

I swallowed. “Yes, I'm moving to Richmond shortly after I graduate.”

Yolanda steepled her fingers and was quiet for a few seconds. “I'm not supposed to say this, but I hope my telling you this will help you to change your mind. You were getting the director's position.”

My mouth dropped, and then my heart started pounding. This was the moment I had been preparing for, for the last year, but the job in no way compared to my marriage. “Thank you so much for considering me, but I'm gonna have to pass.” I rose and walked back to my desk and started my day, but it was hard to concentrate. All I could do was think about my new house. Of course I had photos to pass around the office.

Nikki wanted me to meet her for lunch. I told her I'd meet her at the St. Louis Bread Factory at noon. I walked in and got us a table in the corner and waited. The whole time I stared down at my ring. It was beautiful, and I felt like the luckiest woman in the world.

I spotted Nikki moving across the restaurant looking fabulous in a khaki skirt, white shirt and brown flats.

She flopped down on the bench across from me. “Girl, I am about to pull my hair out! At first it was funny, but now Kenyon is so got-damn worrisome.”

I pointed a finger in her direction. “I told you something wasn't right with him. You should have listened to me and left his ass alone a long time ago.”

“I don't understand it. I tell him Donovan and I are working things out, but he keeps saying there's nothing wrong with having hope. What the hell is wrong with him?”

I started laughing. “Yeah, your radio show was hilarious. I heard the end of it just as I made a mad dash to catch my plane.”

“Netta, I've never been so embarrassed in my life. I can't wait to leave for the book expo in New York, just so I can have a break from his worrisome ass.”

I reached across the table and squeezed Nikki's hand. “Hey, don't let anything or anyone stand in the way of your happiness.”

Her brow rose. “What's gotten into you?”

I gave her a dismissive wave. “Leon. Leon's what's gotten to me. Nikki, I have never been so happy before in my life.”

She gave me a weird look, as if she didn't believe a word I said. Any other time I could care less if my best friend believed me, but now it was important for her to know I have changed. “In the last several weeks I have realized that I have a good man I've taken for granted for so long. I almost lost him, but now I've got a second chance and I'm so grateful.”

Her eyes grew wide. “Trinette, girl, are you crying?”

I nodded. “Yes, because I'm so happy. Look.” I held out my hand, and she took one look at my ring and started screaming.

“Oh, my goodness!”

A woman at the next table rolled her eyes, and I heard her mumble “ghetto” under her breath.

“Bitch, I can show you ghetto!” I snapped, and she quickly turned and looked down at her menu.

“It's beautiful.” Nikki had tears in her eyes.

“We're renewing our vows in July, and we would love for you and Donovan to be there.”

“I'd love it, too.” She locked her eyes with mine. “Are you sure this time?”

I was nodding and wiping tears at the same time. “More sure than I have been about anything in a long time.” I know my girl was skeptical, but I was for real. “I'm serious, Nikki. I have taken Leon for granted for so long and I can't understand why, because he is such a good man and he has been nothing but good to me. And when I think about all the things I have done to him over the years, I feel so sad I want to cry be…because he didn't deserve to be treated like that, and if he didn't love me soooo much he would have left me a long time ago, but I am soooo thankful he hasn't. I'm…so thankful.” I was crying again. Nikki reached for a couple of napkins and handed them to me. “Thanks, girl. I'm acting like a crybaby.”

“And you look a mess. Netta, your mascara is running all down your cheeks.” She was crying and laughing at the same time. I started laughing, and I reached inside my purse and removed my compact and started laughing even harder when I saw how horrible I looked.

“Girl, I look like somebody just beat my ass or something.” I wiped away the mess the best I could.

Nikki chuckled. “I am so happy for you. Really, I am.”

I snapped the compact closed and returned it to my purse. “Thanks, girl. I knew if anyone would have my back it would be you.”

“Always. I only want the best for you, and I'm glad your ass finally came to your senses. You know I love Leon like a brother.”

“And I love my man with everything I have. Now…” I began, reaching for a menu. “What are you gonna do about Kenyon?”

Nikki gave me a worried look. “I don't know.”

“Well, do like I did with Cory. Threaten to tell his mother.”

She gave me a confused look. “Netta, his mama is dead.”

“Exactly.” For the first time since she'd taken a seat at the table, Nikki breathed a sigh of relief. All I could think was, she better do something fast because Donovan was due home in a month.