Commitment (17 page)

When she pulled up in front of her apartment in the two-story walk-up, just above the Joo Mak Gol Restaurant, she almost missed the dark blue Range Rover with tinted windows idling about halfway down the block. She paid the cab driver, tipping him far too much in her eagerness and watched as the SUV’s door
opened.

When Shawn stepped out, it was from the passenger side. He paused to lean in and speak to the driver then stretched and yawned hugely. For a moment he looked exhausted, but then he saw her and smiled. He’d gotten a little sun lately and
in the dim light, to Riley appeared almost golden. W
earing
jeans with a light blue button-down hanging open and white t-shirt underneath
, he looked amazing
. Riley ran to meet him halfway
, and
Shawn caught her as she jumped on him wrapping her arms about his neck, legs about his hips and burying her face in his
neck
.

Shawn walked about the apartment, looking around
and taking it all in
while
Riley
changed. There w
ere books in every spare corner
and magazines
with
Po
st-its sticking out of them.
Pictures of her
with
Tracy
and
of
an
ever-repeating group of friends
were on
almost
every surface and the walls
.
And finally, there was a large black-and-white of
Riley
and
a
w
oman
with a vague resemblance
who had to be her m
other.

Shawn leaned in to get a closer look.
They were both
dressed in white button-down shirts and jeans, and were barefoot sitting cross-legged against a light-colored backdrop
.
T
heir heads
were
slightly turned
and inclined
to face each other
.
Lorna
Terry’s
hair was
in braids
that fell just below her shoulders
.
S
he had
a
calm,
serene
expression
and
the same
smooth
, clear skin
as her daughter
, but
her eyes were much more searching and
intense and
she had
fine lines
bracketing
he
r wide mouth, like laugh lines.
Or
maybe they were
frown lines. He would have to
meet
her to decide which.

O
ne other picture interested him
;
Riley
was
with
a
light-skinned
dude, sitting in what looked like Central Park
while Frisbee
players
ran
in th
e background.
The
expression
on
his
face
as he looked at
Riley
was what captured Shawn’s interest.
He was definitely into her.
And n
ot just a little
bit
either.
So this was Brian.

Shawn
wondered wh
o had taken the photo. Tracy?
If so, it probably explained
her attitude.
He
turned
the
frame
facedown and moved on.

The rest of the apartm
ent was standard New York outer-
borough – slig
htly musty smell, like old wood,
paint and varnish.
Small bathroom, ridiculously small kitchen and a bedroom that looked like it had been a
walk-in
closet in its former life.
He’d been here only once before, to pick
Riley
up and take her back to the hotel
where
he’d been staying.
That time s
he
’
d seemed as eager to have him out of t
here as he had been to be gone.
Back then, this was Brian’s territory.

But that was then
,
he
thought.

Riley
came out of the bedroom barefooted
and fresh-faced
, wearing black leggings and a white tank.

“
Is
the
driver waiting for you? I could’ve sworn I saw the Range Rover still outside.”

“It is.
He’s
not really a driver, he’s
a
bodyguard.”

“Do you need one?”

Shawn laughed. “
Nah.
It’s just
Brendan’s
way of making sure I
get
to
the plane at six.”

“Six
a.m.
?”
Riley
’s face fell.

“Yeah.”

She looked
as though
she wanted to say something more, but didn’t.
Shawn sat on the back of her sofa, legs apart, and pulled her into his arms.
She
smelled incredible. 

“
You can take your jacket off, at least,”
Riley
said, sounding
something just short of angry.
She peeled his brown leather
jacket
down over his shoulders and tossed it aside. “Or
are you planning to leave soon?
”

“At four,” he said, yawning.

“That’s ridiculous.”
She was d
efinitely
sounding
angry now. “
You must be
exhausted.
W
hy did you
do this
?”

“So you’
d stop thinking crazy shit
about what you saw in that
magazine
.”

She blushed
and
looked down, fidgeting
with the chain around his neck
. 

“I’m
sorry.
I hadn’t heard from you
. .
.
”

“It’ll be like that sometimes,” he said, tipping her chin upward.  “When
I’m working and on the road s
ometimes
it’s just mad hectic
.”

“It’s never been
that way
,” she pointed out.
“You always
had
time
.
”

The tone
of
her voice w
as one he’d never heard before.
Hell, this whole thing was a revelation – that she noticed or cared who he went to stupid industry parties with wo
uld never have occurred to him.
It was worth the trip just to see this look on her face
,
and
hear this tone
in
her voice
.
For the first time, he
seriously considered
that
he might not be
in this thing all by himself,
that maybe she was
in
it
up to her neck like
he was
.

“I
made
time before.
Time I didn’t really have.”

“And now you’re not going to make time?”

“I
did
tonight
, right?
”

“That’s true.
You did.
Crazy as it is.
”

She took his hand, leading him into the bedroom. The covers had been pulled back and the lights were off. The only illumination came from a row of tea lights
on a bookshelf.
Riley
pushed him back so he was seated on the edge of the bed and
kneeled to remove
his
boots
.
Then she pulled his
t-
shirt free of his pants and crawled onto the bed, pushing him
onto his
back as she lay down, and fitting herself spoon-fashion against his chest
and resting his arms about her waist
.

“You’re not relaxing,” she whispered.

“I don’t want to fall asleep,” he said.

“It’s okay.
I’ll wake you at four.”

Bu
t if he slept he would awake
n
to find that
their time together was spent.
Still
, Shawn
closed his eyes and
allowed himself to enjoy the softness of the bed and the smell and velvety texture of the back of her neck.

“Whose birthday
is
it?”

“Dawn
’s
.
A friend of mine from work. She’s crazy.
You’ll like her.”

He liked t
hat she said “you’ll” like her.
It assumed a future that he still wasn’t
certain
of.

“Know what I was thinking?”
he asked.

“What?”

“Jamaica,” he said. “I was thinking about you and me on the beach in Negril. Chillin’.”

“Sounds great,” she said
,
sounding as sleepy as he felt
.
“I’ve always wanted to go there.”

“Or Phuket. In a thatched roof cottage.
Or in a wilderness lodge
someplace
.
”

“These fantasies are of increasingly remote places,” she said laughing
softly
.

“
Someti
mes I just want it to be quiet.
Quiet and still and peaceful.
That’s what you are for
me,” Shawn told her.
“Y’know?
”

Riley
turned
so they were facing each other,
their legs intertwined,
faces inches apart.
She smiled at him and Shawn smiled back.

“That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”

“It’s true.”

“What’s it like
other
time
s
?” she
asked.

“
Hard to explain.
Even when I’m supposedly
taking a break
, it’s like s
leeping with the television on. You never really feel rested.
Y’know what I mean?”

Riley nodded and waited for him to continue.

“
When
I was eighteen, I
had my first
hit
single
and all these pe
ople wanted me on their shows
and in their magazines and my video
was
on BET and MTV all the time.
People started r
ecognizing me when I went out.

“
There was
one day when
I just wanted to go home to DC. That’s
all
.
Just go someplace where I was just Shawn, y’know?
Everything was just moving so fast, and I didn’t have a chance to even think about
how
I felt about it.
All I wanted was
to hang out in Anacostia Park.

“
And my manager at the time
was this older white dude that
the label got me, right?
So
I go to him and I say, ‘
Man
, I’m losing it. I need t
o get away for a little while.’

“
And I tell him the one place I want to go to is Anacostia Park
, this spot where I used to
chill
, y’know?
And he looks at me, all understanding and sympathetic. And he goes, ‘Okay,
l
et
me see
if I can
fix it so
the Park
is
closed to the public
for a couple of hours.’ Right then, I knew my life would never be the same.
And it never has been.
”