Commitment (19 page)

The truth of it was, s
ometimes
he reached for women just because he could;
more
out of ha
bit and boredom than lust.
It would be like any other habit – broken through practice, and the occasional act of sheer will.

He slept for the entire flight to Phoenix Sky Harbor and landed just after
eight
a.m. local time.
S
ince he had no luggage
he was out in no time, managing to avoid
most of
the
curious
gazes
in the terminal
.
Shawn
could almost see the thought-
process on
people’s faces as they tried to decide whether he was who they thought he might be
and their final decision that he couldn’t
possibly
be
K
Smooth
, because otherwise
,
why would he be walking alone through the airport with
no
luggage, and no entourage?

The key was to avoid eye contact
at all costs
and keep stepping.
That’s why so many celebrities wore sunglasses all the time – it made the “no eye contact” rule so much simpler to follow.

Brendan was waiting outside with a car and
Shawn
got in, startled by how bright it was already, and how warm.

“Hope it was worth it,” Brendan said under his breath.

“Always is.”

“How’s she doing?”

“Good.”

“Just good?”

“You’re fishin’, B.”

Brendan shrugged.
“Just wondering if a we
dding is happening anytime soon, that’s all.
”

“As soon as I know, you’ll know.”

They drove in silence for awhi
le until finally Brendan’s
restraint
gave out once again.

“So she give you any indication either way?”

“No, man. We didn’t even talk about it.”

“You didn’t even
talk
about it?”

“Nope.”

B
rendan made an impatient sound.
“I don’t understand,” he muttered to himself.

“I know you don’t,” Shawn sai
d.
“That’s why it’s best you stick to managing my career and leave my personal life to me.”

“Cool with me.
But can I just say one last thing about this?”

“Can I stop you?”

“You can stop me, but you shouldn’t.”

“Then say your piece, B.”

“
Riley
’s not just any
chick
,” Brendan said.

Shawn looked at him. 

“
There.
I admit it.
And I would hate to see you fuck that up just because your ego can’t let you accept that she’s got someone else.”

That got his attention. 

“
Is
that
what you
think this is about?
That I’m ego-trippin’?”

Brendan shrugged.

“B, you
’ve known me what? Nine years?
You think I would get
married
j
ust to
cock-
block some nigga
I don’t even know
?”

“Not
just
to block b
ut that’s part of it. And I feel you man.
W
hen did knuckleheads like you and me ever even have
access
to
the type of
women like
Riley
bef
ore we stacked all this paper
? But if you get one,
one who wants your sorry ass,
you best be ready to tighten up.”

Riley wasn’t a “type”
but he could forgive the
observation
.
Before he knew her h
e’d
thought
the same t
hing. At first, the thrill had been the same as it always was with women he never could have gotten back in the day.

He
’d
looked at
Riley
and all he saw
was the girl in the private school uniform, driving by in her parents
’
Volvo who looked right through him and
the other
homeboys
as t
hey stood idling on the corner.
The girl who
watched, bemused when he got called out of class for the hundredth time, summoned to the principal’s office
for
his most recent transgression.
She was the girl
he
’d
secretly wished h
e could ask to the school dance
instead of the hood-rats who
hovered
around
all the time
, excited by his bad-
boy image.

But now he knew she was so much more than that.
He
’d
asked himself whether he saw Riley at all, or just the girls he
thought
, a lifetime ago, that
he
could never have.
Asked and
answered
,
a million times over.

“If that’s all that’s bothering you B, you can put your mind at ease,” Shawn said leaning back and closing his eyes against the bright Arizona sun.

g

New York was one of those cities where
Shawn’s
fan base was so solid that it was impossible to get through the airport without being accosted a dozen times.
When they were in JFK,
Brendan always walked a couple feet in front of him and tried as subtly as he could to
discourage or deflect
atten
tion but it hardly ever worked.
This time it wasn’t happening either.

Just his luck that at his
arrival
gate, a high school girls’ basketball
team was waiting to board.
As soon as he deplaned, there was a single shriek, followed by a chorus and the next thing Shawn knew, he was surrounded by
more than a dozen
fifteen
-
year-olds
with cell phone
cameras
.
It only took a
couple
minutes for airport security to show up but
by then
he had to pose for photos and sign autographs for almost a half hour before he was able to make his way
toward
baggage claim.

Once he got there
, more good times – a baggage handler approached him with a magazine to sign, and
that was all it took for a crowd of about
thirty
to show up.
Brendan watched from a safe distance, making calls until the crowd thinned
some;
then
he intervened,
leading Shawn out to the curb where a car waited.

December
in New York. The weather hadn’t yet turned
bitter
but
it
was
cold
enough to make visible the fumes from the exhaust of vehic
les idling in the pick-up zone.
Shawn was relieved to slide into the
warm
interior of Chris Scaife’s
Mercedes.
After the temperature and the plush leather interior, the first thing
he
noticed was the
blaring
music.
It wa
s a
track
from his latest CD.
Chris smirked as he looked over at him.

“
Kill that noise
, man,” Shawn said.

“You’re the only nigga I know who don’t like to listen to himself,” Chris said, lowering the volume.

“
You
only do it to
fuck
with me,” Shawn
said
.

Chris turned to look at Brendan in the back seat as they pulled away.

“B, we need to work on his s
wagger, y’know what I’m sayin’?
All this modesty
just ain’t
appropriate for hip-hop.”

Shawn
looked out the window and tried to ignore Chris
.
This
was the nature of their relationship and had been ever since Shawn was a skinny, eager kid from DC, looking to break
into the East Coast rap scene.

He’d met Chris at a showcase organized by a Baltimore radio station, and
been
picked out of a group of forty other performers to co
me to New York for development.

For six months, he’d lived in Chris’
mansion in
Short Hills
,
N
ew
J
ersey
being groomed and packaged
to become rap’s next big thing.
Chris orchestrated everything from
his
haircut to the color of the Pumas on his feet, and produc
ed the first track he released.
Chris
took him to all the right parties and introduced him to all the right people, and under his
wing, w
ithin a year
,
Shawn
had a hit single
,
and in
two
, he had
more success
than he ha
d ever believed possible
.

He couldn’t have imagined then that he would have a career in hip-hop that was almost a decade long, and even more money and fame than his young mind would have been able to grasp, even after his first taste of both.

Although
Chris
was only about seven years older,
his and
Shawn’s relationship was
more
like a father-son rivalry
than that of siblings
, where the master was
ever vigilant
that the student
not
outshine
him
one day.
But surpassing Chris would be
almost
impossible
.
H
is tentacles seemed to be in every aspect of hip-hop – clothing, publishing, music and even a
couple
screenplays in development.

“So
word is
you’re
jumping the broom
,” Chris said casually. 

Shawn
looked
at Brendan.
“I don’t know yet. I
asked her
. . .
”

“Then
of course
you’re getting married,” Chris interrup
ted
him
.
“What woman would say no
to all this?”

“The ki
nd of woman who would say no
to all this,” Shawn said.

Chris
laughed.
“A
h, I got you.
C
ollege girl.”

“Something like that,” Shawn mumbled.

The last thing he wanted t
o do was discuss
Riley
with Chris-
fucking-Scaife.
Loved him like a brother, but
with Chris,
nothing was sacred.
Especially nothing that pertained to women.

“So what’s her name?
Do I know her?”

Shawn laughed.
“No.
You don’t know her.
”

“
Why you holdin’ out on me?
My feelings are hurt.”

“Yeah.
Sure they are.”

“C’mon man, what’s her name?”

“
Riley
.”

“
Riley
what?”

“
Riley
Terry
.”

“Why is that name familiar?” Chris said under his breath.

Shawn looked at him. If he found out Chris read
Power to the People
then he’d have to
alter
his whole
worldview
.

“She’s a writer,” Brenda
n
supplied. “For a magazine.
She did a
feature
on him last year.”