Come What May (Heartbeat) (18 page)

I Am Yours (Heartbeat, #3)

by Faith Sullivan

October 2013

The trilogy concludes.

Who will Adam choose?

Chapter One

What the heck is that?

A deafening rumble fills the air. Then just as quickly, it disappears. I sit upright in bed trying to figure out what jolted me awake. I check the clock. It’s 8:46 a.m. I still have fourteen minutes before my alarm goes off, but I’m too wired. Talk about a rude awakening.

I push the covers away and shuffle the six steps it takes to get to the bathroom. Living in a studio apartment in New York City is like residing in a very expensive walled-in box. It’s not for the claustrophobic or the faint of heart. This tiny one-room dwelling is costing my parents $1,500 a month. The sacrifice they’re making is mind-boggling, I know. But they want me to be able to concentrate on my studies outside of a crowded dorm environment, regardless of the hefty price tag.

It’s because I’m their fulfillment of the American Dream. I have the chance to make something of myself since they believe my life is destined to be one shining success story. My acceptance into New York University’s film program is the first step toward an illustrious career. It’s my golden ticket to fame, riches, and glory. Failure is not an option.

My parents aren’t college graduates. Dad is a tollbooth worker on the Pennsylvania Turnpike, and Mom mans the drive-through window at McDonald’s. We’re from a town so small it doesn’t even have its own zip code. It’s a place where conversation revolves around the record of the high school football team and the latest weather forecast. My parents want more for me. And I’m grateful, I really am, but their lofty expectations rest heavily on my shoulders.

I pad across the uncarpeted floor to the window. I keep the blinds tightly drawn and peer through the cracks. Nothing looks amiss in the courtyard below. I hate shutting out the sunlight, but I’m afraid to expose myself to the apartments directly across from me. I moved in a little over two weeks ago, and the one time I opened the blinds, a strange guy was knocking on my door fifteen minutes later. I’m not taking any chances.

It’s a bright Tuesday morning, and it’s as quiet as a tomb. I’m not surprised. It’s not until two o’clock in the morning that the maintenance crew begins its nightly racket, talking loudly, slamming garbage cans, and stomping up and down the hallway. Needless to say, I’m still adjusting to all of the nocturnal activity.

I flick on the TV that’s not much bigger than my toaster. It’s time to get my morning routine underway. I have class at eleven o’clock. Even though it’s only a ten-minute walk from my apartment on Bleecker Street across Washington Square Park, I better get a move on.

Absentmindedly, my gaze drifts to the events unfolding on the screen. The morning news program is showing a close-up of one of the World Trade Center towers, smoke billowing out the side. Leave it to New York. I’m not even living here a month and crazy things are happening.

I listen more attentively. The reporter is saying that a small commuter plane or a helicopter apparently flew too close to the building and crashed into it. An equipment malfunction is likely to blame since the mid-September sky is crystal clear. I have to call Mom and see if she knows about this.

She picks up on the first ring.

“Hello?”

“Mom, turn on the TV.”

“I know. I have it on.”

“Crazy, huh?”

“I don’t know why they let them fly so close to those tall buildings.”

Predicting she’s about to break into a rambling tirade, I halt her momentum midstream. “Well, I have to get ready. I just wanted to call and see if you were watching.”

“Okay, Michelle, but be careful when you go out, and don’t go anywhere near that area,” she admonishes.

“I won’t, Mom. Don’t worry,” I respond before hanging up.

I haven’t lived by myself before, and it’s weird not having anyone to talk to when things like this happen. A shiver of loneliness runs through me when I realize that Mom is over two hundred miles away in another state. So far, I’ve attended only a few classes. Orientation was followed by the Labor Day weekend, so I don’t really know anyone yet. At least, not well enough to exchange phone numbers.

Transfixed, I stare at the screen, watching what is happening literally right outside my door. I’m two miles away, but after exiting the confines of my building, the Twin Towers are easily visible from the street. The only thing holding me back from running outside and taking a look is that I’m still in my pajamas. I’m not brave enough to check it out until I’m fully dressed.

Suddenly, a massive fireball erupts on TV. The anchors are at a loss for words. They don’t know how to describe what they are witnessing. Anxiety enters their voices. Something isn’t right.

Rushing to the TV, I hover over it. Seconds later, they begin showing a replay of a giant black plane—a second plane—hitting the other tower.

Shaking, I reach for the phone and hit redial.

I sputter before she can answer. “Mom? Oh my God, did you see that? They think it’s another plane.”

“Just stay calm, Michelle. You’re safe where you are, right?”

“I think so, but what’s going on?”

“I don’t know, honey. I don’t think anyone knows.”

Trembling, I keep my eyes glued to the inferno raging from both skyscrapers. “Mom…I’m scared.”

She breathes deeply, trying to control the unsteadiness in her voice. “You’re going to be all right. Hang tight.”

I have never wanted my mom so much in my life. “Okay,” I whisper. “I’ll call you back later.” For some reason, it hurts more to stay on the line with her. The distance separating us seems greater over the phone.

In a sort of stupor, I gingerly sit on the bed, hugging my knees to my chest. I am alone—completely, and utterly, alone. There’s no one coming to help me deal with this. I’m on my own.

An announcement is made that all bridges and tunnels into Manhattan are closed. There’s no way in, no way out.

The minutes tick by, but it seems as if time is standing still, frozen around this moment. What started as an ordinary day has gone terribly wrong.

A news bulletin breaks in, and the scene shifts to Washington, D.C. as the Pentagon smolders. They think it’s the work of a third plane.

The world crumbles around me, and a desperate energy fills my veins. I pace the length of the apartment like a caged animal. I’m numb. I can’t process the severity of the situation I’m watching unfold. I keep telling myself that it’s a bad dream, nothing more.

Military fighter jets roar outside my window, patrolling the airspace above my head. Words like ‘terrorist attack’ and ‘all flights grounded’ pour out of the TV. I try calling Mom again, but I can’t get a signal on my cell phone.

Muttering to myself, I wander through the apartment, disoriented. In the bathroom. Out of the bathroom. Open the refrigerator. Close the refrigerator. Up to the door. Away from the door. I am going mad.

And just when I’m at my wit’s end, I watch in horror as the South Tower collapses. My knees buckle, and I hit the floor. “Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God,” I whisper over and over. On some metaphysical level that I can’t quite explain, I can literally feel, in the essence of my being, the multitude of souls instantaneously ripped from the world, like an inter-dimensional vortex opened, swallowing them whole.

The chaos continues as I momentarily lose touch with reality. The North Tower falls. A fourth plane crashes in Pennsylvania. My nerves break down, and I retreat into myself. Everything is a blurred-out haze.

I don’t know what to do. Somehow, I end up back in the bathroom. I close the door and robotically remove my pajamas. Shuddering, I turn on the tap and step into the shower. As I’m being pelted by the stream of hot water, my psyche reverts to the familiar action of washing my hair. But my inner consciousness is screaming, “How can you wash your hair when you just watched thousands of people die? What the hell is wrong with you?”

I stagger and lean against the tiled wall as my insides churn. I gasp for breath and feel like I’m going to be sick. I twist the knob and cease the flow of water. I unsteadily place my feet on the fuzzy bath mat. The room is filled with steam, making everything appear indistinct. I clutch a towel around my dripping body and grab onto the counter, lowering myself onto the toilet seat. Clasping my wet head in my hands, I close my eyes and rock back and forth, trembling violently as the tears begin to fall.