Come What May (Heartbeat) (14 page)

Hurtling out of the cab, I run to the back and pry open the rear doors. The first thing I see is that the man is still on the stretcher. He didn’t fall off, but his wife is clutching her arm and sobbing on the floor. Jada shakily stands up with the discarded defibrillator at her feet. But it’s when she turns her head that I let out a gasp. The whole left side of her face is burned, most likely by the hot paddles.

Injured or not, Jada steps over the strewn equipment and reaches for the man’s wrist. “Thank God, there’s a pulse.” There’s a deadened quality to her voice that I’ve never heard before. She’s still functioning and doing her job, but I don’t know how. She starts inching toward the woman, but I hold up my hand to indicate that I’ve got it. But she challenges my authority. “From here, it looks like a compound fracture. We’re going to need help getting these two out of here. Go radio for assistance.”

And with that, I realize beyond a shadow of a doubt that it’s over between us. My stupidity, my weakness, my immaturity—all led to her being injured by yet another person in her life driving under the influence. I’ve lost her for good. There’s no coming back from something like this.

Grabbing the comm, I hit the receiver button. “Unit 365 requesting backup at the intersection of Cherry and Monroe. Over.” The man in the Honda Civic is outside his car inspecting the damage. I should have gone over to check on him, but I didn’t. The violations against me are stacking up. There’s no way in hell they’ll let me remain a paramedic after this display of misconduct.

“Unit 365, what is your emergency?”

And the words I’m dreading to utter pour from my lips. “We were involved in a one-car accident heading westbound to General. The patient was in cardiac arrest but is currently stable. A passenger has a broken arm, and my partner is severely burned.” It kills me to admit that last part. What if Jada needs plastic surgery? What the fuck have I done?

“Are there any people outside the ambulance requiring medical attention?”

“Negative.” The guy with the Honda Civic is obviously okay as he hits the roof of his car with his fists before issuing a string of profanities in my direction.

“Are you gonna pay for this, motherfucker? You’re the one who ran the red light, and now I’m late for work. How the fuck am I going to get there now?” His rant escalates, but fortunately the approaching sirens muffle his outrage. Leave it to me to slam into someone with anger management issues.

Reluctantly, I get out to meet the arriving team and my heart lurches when I see that it’s Chuck and Brickhouse Bonnie. Shit. Chuck sold me the weed. It’s not going to take him long to rat me out to his uncle. I’m caught in a trap of my own making with Chuck holding all the cards. My fate is in his pudgy little hands. I think I’m going to throw up.

Chuck whistles through his teeth. “What the hell happened here? My uncle is gonna flip when he finds out about this.”

Bonnie takes in my stumbling gait but doesn’t comment. Her stony expression says it all. Instead, she heads directly for the stretcher, assisting Jada as she lowers it to the ground. “Chuck, get your ass over here and help me get this man onto our rig.”

“Duty calls. Oh yeah, that’s right. You don’t know anything about that, do you? You’re too busy getting high and damaging my uncle’s property.” Roughly, he grabs me by the upper arm before continuing. “And don’t even think about telling him where you got that shit because he’ll never believe you. You’re my boy now, O’Malley. My little bitch who’s gonna do whatever the fuck I say.” He shoves me away from him and I nearly hit the ground. Looking up, I catch Jada staring at me from the back of the ambulance. She saw Chuck push me but thankfully she’s too far away to hear what he was saying.

Bonnie and Chuck wheel the man into their ambulance as Jada applies a temporary sling to the woman’s arm. The bone is poking through the skin and she’s in a great deal of pain. Jada’s comforting her the best she can, but no one’s even examined her burn yet. Guiding her over to where her husband is, Bonnie directs Jada to place the woman in the front seat so that she doesn’t have to climb in the back. Chuck smirks at me before closing the rear doors. He’s right. I’m his bitch now, and there’s nothing I can about it. I have to keep my mouth shut so I can hopefully hang on to my job.

I don’t think they’ll hit me with a breathalyzer or a blood test to check my sobriety. They’ll probably just assume I was rushing to the hospital and showed poor judgment when I ran the light. They’ll give me a slap on the wrist and tell me to be more careful the next time.

I’m lucky. Jada was able to get the man’s heart beating again before the crash. He didn’t die on account of me. I seriously injured his wife, and I feel terrible about that, but she’ll survive. The guy who hit me is pretty irate but physically he’s fine. The thing I can’t live with is that I may have permanently disfigured my partner. I’ll never forgive myself for hurting Jada.

I walk over to where she is standing. Her cheek is red and swollen, but there are no blisters. That’s a good sign. It looks like it may be just a first-degree burn. She has a good chance at making a full recovery. But whether our relationship will survive is another story entirely. Her expression is devoid of emotion as I examine the injury to her face. It’s like she disappeared inside herself somewhere.

A police car rolls up and the officer begins directing the traffic that has crawled to a standstill. He yells over to me amid the honking and swearing issuing from the stopped cars. “Kid, if you can get that thing off the road, it’d make my job a hell of a lot easier.”

I raise my arm to let him know that I heard him. But Jada’s wound needs to be rinsed with water and covered with a bandage to prevent infection before I can get her to the hospital. The only problem is I can’t do two things at once.

“Just go, Adam. I’ll take care of it myself.” Jada hops into the back of the ambulance and begins rummaging through our supplies. Now I really feel like a jerk. I’m a paramedic. I’m supposed to take care of people who are injured, and I can’t even help my own partner. Furious with myself, I close the doors and get behind the wheel. The Honda Civic is apparently okay. It’s already parked on the shoulder of the road. And the guy is giving the cop an earful as he tries to wave motorists around the downed ambulance.

The engine roars to life. Hopefully the front tire will stay on long enough for me to get the ambulance out of the way. It seems like it’s riding okay. Hopefully all that’s wrong is the giant dent in the passenger door. At least he didn’t hit me head on.

Once traffic is moving smoothly again, the cop takes our statements separately. I pop a piece of gum in my mouth before it’s my turn. He doesn’t notice anything on my breath, and the subject of being under the influence of drugs or alcohol never comes up. He tells me he can talk to Jada later if he needs more information and that I’m free to go. I can’t believe I’m actually getting away with this.

“Jada, we’re only five minutes from General. I think I can make it over there.” She overheard every word I said to the cop, but she didn’t interject with any accusations. She covered my ass.

“Do what you want, Adam. You always do.” Her remark cuts like a razor blade across my heart. She’s utterly within her rights to chastise me. I deserve it, but it hurts like hell to know I’ve lost her faith in me.

We don’t talk for the remainder of the ride, and when I get out to help her down she holds up her hand. “Don’t. Just don’t.”

“But I’m going in with you.”

“No, Adam. You’re not. I’m going to call Simone and have her pick me up.”

“Jada…” I reach for her hand, but she pulls away.

“Get out of here, Adam. I don’t want you anywhere near me.” Her brown eyes are like daggers shattering whatever sense of camaraderie we may have established during our partnership. Now she can’t stand to look at me.

I watch her slowly move through the ambulance bay and into the emergency room. Fine, I’ll let her walk away from me this time, but there’s no way I’m letting her walk out of my life. I’ll do anything it takes to get her back. Anything.

Chapter Twenty-Four
Jada

The morning’s paper has a picture of Adam standing by the ambulance, clearly distraught. The headline screams, “Ambulance down!” The article lists the names and ages of everyone involved. There’s even a quote from the guy who hit us saying that he’s going to sue Tri-County Ambulance for reckless endangerment even though he didn’t have a scratch on him. The only damage he sustained was having the front bumper fall off his car. That’s it. He certainly didn’t have half the skin on his face burned off.

I swallow another pain pill with my second cup of coffee. The constant throbbing is excruciating, but the ER doc doesn’t think there will be any scarring. The defibrillator paddle was only against my skin for a split second when I was thrown to the floor. But right now, it doesn’t look that great. Whoever heard of a black girl with a hideous sunburn…on one side of her face?

I study the photo again, bending down to examine it closer. Adam’s gaze is unfocused. I know what to look for so to me he appears stoned. But no one even considered that as the reason behind the crash. Everyone just assumed he was driving too fast in order to get the elderly man to the hospital. And it’s a good cover story. Perfect, actually.

All night I tossed and turned, struggling over what to do. Adam can’t be allowed behind the wheel of an ambulance, not until he straightens himself out. It’s not only about me. He put other people’s lives at risk as well. And I won’t stand for that. I have to speak up.

Cradling my phone in my hand, I make the call.

“Mr. Talbot? Hi. It’s Jada Martin.”

“Jada, my dear. How are you doing?”

“Okay, I guess. It’s going to take some time.”

“Yeah, that’s what I said to Adam.”

My breath catches in my throat. Why was Adam talking to our boss? Did he get fired? Did he do the right thing and confess that he was driving under the influence?

“You heard from Adam?”

“He called to apologize for the accident, but I told him not to worry about it. Sometimes these things happen on the job. That’s why I have insurance. It’s certainly not a low risk profession.”

It doesn’t sound like Adam confessed. And once again, he disappoints me. He’s so much better than this. I never expected him to kiss Talbot’s ass. What a coward.

“Too bad he wasn’t the one holding an electrical charge in his hands.”

“Jada, we all feel terrible about what happened to you—Adam most of all. He went on and on about you.”

“Did he?”

“Of course he did. I knew when I paired up the two of you it was like a match made in heaven. He flies by the seat of his pants and you follow the book to the letter. You’re such a balanced team. And after the two of you take a little breather, you’ll be raring to go when you get back from North Carolina. Adam told me about his brother’s wedding, and having a few weeks off is just what you need right now. By then I’ll have your ambulance fixed and it’ll give you enough time to recuperate.”

My head is spinning. I can’t believe this. Adam went behind my back and used his brother’s wedding as an excuse to cover his tracks. Like hell I’m going anywhere with him. I never want to see him again. I was calling Talbot to ask for a new partner, but how can I do that now? I’ll look like a complete idiot.

“Wow. That’s unbelievable. Thank you, sir.”

“Jada, you just concentrate on getting better. You hear me? You saved that old man’s life under some very difficult conditions. I couldn’t be more proud of you…and Adam too, of course.”

Now I’ve heard everything. He’s proud of Adam for nearly killing the lot of us. The rage within me is boiling to the surface. I have to get off the phone before I say something I’ll regret.

“Mr. Talbot, I’m sorry to cut this short but….”

“No, Jada. It’s okay. I understand. You’re probably in a lot of pain. I won’t keep you any longer.”

“Thanks, sir. Goodbye.”

I stand in my kitchen, flabbergasted. I knew Adam was smooth, but I didn’t think he was a lying bastard. I’m going to have to figure something out. There’s no way in hell I’m going to remain his partner.

I jump when I hear a knock at the front door. Simone ran to the drugstore for me, and she has her keys. Who the heck can it be? I’m a mess and I don’t feel like facing anybody today. I can’t imagine how much it’s going to hurt to take a shower later even with the bandage on.

Begrudgingly, I open the door, and standing there is Adam.

Despite how mad I am at him, my stupid heart does a somersault when his blue eyes meet mine.

“Before you shut the door in my face, hear me out.” He positions his foot to prevent me from doing just that. I cross my arms in front of chest. I’m in no mood for his excuses. They may have worked on Talbot, but his charm has no effect on me. I know the truth.

“You have a lot of nerve coming here.” I glare at him and it appears he’s out of breath. He’s wearing athletic clothes, a blue mesh outfit that brings out the color of his eyes and shows off the muscles in his arms. His hair is falling around his face and there’s a thin layer of sweat covering his brow.

“Jada, I ran all the way over from the gym to see you. I spent the night in my car because I was too shaken up to drive home. I can’t get behind the wheel after what happened yesterday.” He appears sincere, but I’m not buying it.

“Funny, Talbot thinks all you need is a vacation to get your head on straight. It must be nice to have the boss wrapped around your little finger.” I’m beyond disgusted with him. I never pegged him for a master manipulator, but then again it’s probably just because he duped me as well.

“Are you gonna let me come in? Or are we going to have this entire conversation with me out here in the blazing sun?” He doesn’t even wait for an answer. Instead he pushes his way inside and stalks toward the kitchen. By the time I catch up he’s pouring himself a glass of juice from my refrigerator.

“Make yourself at home, why don’t you?” Already I’m running out of energy to argue with him. He’s so draining sometimes, and the pain pill is making me woozy. I retake my place at the table and sip my lukewarm coffee.

“It’s not every day you make the front page.” He scrutinizes the newspaper as he hovers above me. I can’t tell if he’s being sarcastic or not.

“Yeah, for all the wrong reasons.” I wince. All of this talking is doing nothing to alleviate the pain in my face.

“Are you okay?” His eyes pierce mine. There’s no doubt he’s concerned about me. He just has one hell of a way of expressing it. But I’m sick of arguing with him.

“Not really. Especially when I heard we’re supposedly headed to North Carolina.” He drops his gaze and actually looks guilty.

“Oh yeah, about that…” He takes the seat next to mine, pulling it closer.

“Sorry, but I’m not going.” Carefully, I pat my cheek to make sure the bandage is still in place. He watches my every movement. He raises his hand to touch mine, but I swat it away. “Don’t think you can play me, Adam. It’s not going to work. You went too far this time.”

“I wanted to tell Talbot what really happened. That’s why I called him at home last night. But when he answered, he wouldn’t let me get a word in edgewise. It’s like he had it all figured out and he just wanted me to say yes to everything and shut my mouth.” I’m sure what Adam’s telling me is pretty close to what actually occurred. Talbot probably talked to his lawyer about how to handle everything. And his main concern is damage control. He’s taking us out of the picture until things calm down.

“But that still doesn’t explain how he knew about your brother’s damn wedding.” He’s running circles around me with his logic, but there are too many holes in his story. It’s not holding up under scrutiny. He’s just lucky he didn’t get questioned more thoroughly by the cops.

“He asked if I was taking a vacation this summer. He thought it’d be a good idea to take one now. I mentioned Brian’s wedding in the Outer Banks, and he jumped all over that. He even offered to pay for the hotel.” Adam scratches the back of his neck clearly uncomfortable with the proposition.

“And you had to tell him I was your date?” Way to go, asshole. Thanks for dragging me into your masquerade.

“Jada, I can’t go to that wedding without you. I realize it’s a lot to ask, especially after all that’s gone down…” He reels back in his chair when I slap him soundly across the face. “What the…?”

“How dare you, Adam! I’m so sick of you feeling sorry for yourself. First, it’s your nightmares about a girl you didn’t even know. Then, it’s dealing with your surly attitude because you’re mad at the world over something that was beyond your control. And now, it’s finding out about your illegitimate child and how you have to make a pretend appearance at your baby mama’s wedding in order to pass the kid off as your brother’s. It’s too much.” Shoving myself away from the table, my chair clatters to the floor. But I keep moving as the tears begin to fall. I have enough shit of my own to deal with. I don’t need his on top of everything else, especially when he doesn’t even love me.

I’m almost out of the kitchen when he grabs me by the arm, spinning me around. He brings me in for an embrace, but I crush my fists against his chest as I break down. The sobs are shaking my entire body, and then I just let go and fall into his arms. Gently, he strokes my hair, pushing it away from the bandage.

“Jada, what I did was unforgivable. I hate myself for putting you in any kind of danger. I’m your partner. My job is to keep you safe, and I failed. Not only that, but I’m lying to everyone around me about what really happened. But I’m not going to lie to you. I smoked a joint and had a few beers a couple of hours before our shift. There’s no way I was capable of driving. I wasn’t even sure I was able to carry that man downstairs. I put everyone’s lives at risk. It was idiotic and immature. But I’m not in the clear, not by a long shot.” His chest rises and falls as he exhales against me.

“What do you mean?” My voice is hoarse, but I manage to get the words out.

“Chuck is the one who sold me the weed. He knows, and he’s not going to make my life any easier.” His grip on me tightens, and suddenly I’m afraid for him.

“What can he do to you? Adam, just confess to Talbot and it’s all over.” He draws away from me at the suggestion, and that nagging sensation in the pit of my stomach resurfaces.

“I need this job, Jada. If I tell Talbot, I’ll have a criminal record. No ambulance company will ever hire me. But it’s not just about the money. I’m not capable of doing anything else. Saving lives is the only thing I’m good at. It’s who I am.” He’s pleading with me to understand, but how many lives is he saving by acting like this? And it’s not the first time. The image of him standing in Wal-Mart like a deer in headlights as Wesley choked on that piece of candy runs through my mind.

“I’ll go along with this on one condition.” The only way I can help him is through coercion. It’s the sole leverage I have over him at the moment. I have to play it to my advantage. But not only that, it’s about all of the people he can endanger by remaining on the job. And that thought provokes me to act.

“Anything, Jada. I’ll do anything.” His eyes light up like he’s won. But I’m not through with him yet.

“You’re gonna seek help for your problem. It’s not just about Katie dying in your arms. It runs much deeper than that. I think her death triggered something in you that you were failing to suppress. You never got over that guy drowning in the riptide. You ran away from California, but you carried it with you. You’re broken inside, Adam. You need to deal with it, or it’s going to destroy you. And I’m afraid of how many innocent people you’re going to take down with you.” It’s like a storm cloud has passed over his face. He’s quiet for a minute. His jaw is tight. I may have overstepped my bounds, but he needed to hear it from someone. He has to wake up and get off this path toward self-destruction. And if I’m the one who has to level with him, then so be it.

“I told you. I went for counseling. It didn’t work.” He’s tense as he practically spits the words at me. But I don’t flinch.

“It doesn’t have to be a counselor, but you have to talk to somebody. Even if you go fishing with Charlie once a week—you have to get this out of your system once and for all so you can finally move on. You have to stop hating yourself because there’s a pretty decent guy in there somewhere. You have so much to offer the world. I’ve seen it.”

Not even realizing what I’m doing, my hand strays to his face while I’m talking. He leans into my palm, closing his eyes. We’re both so broken. It’s up to us to heal each other. No one else can truly understand where we’re coming from. We’re too interconnected now. His anguish is mine, and my burdens are his. We’re in this together until the end.

He opens his eyes and I’m seeing the real Adam, the one he keeps buried inside—the frightened boy who’s terrified that he let someone die. The young kid harboring the unjust responsibility of balancing life and death.

“Okay, Jada. I’ll try.”

That’s all I need to hear.