Come What May (Heartbeat) (17 page)

“Kelly, we’ll be there. Okay?” And with the mention of that name I see Jada visibly shrink from me as I hang up the phone.

Yep, I’m sleeping in the car tonight.

Chapter Twenty-Eight
Jada

We haven’t said a word to each other all morning. After what almost happened between us, I feel so confused and torn up inside. We almost kissed. Forget that, we almost had sex. I would’ve slept with him if his phone didn’t ring. And that’s what scares the hell out of me.

Adam’s driving and I concentrate on the view, not on him. We’re on the most picturesque bridge I’ve ever seen, crossing over Albemarle Sound. The sunshine is dancing off the water, creating a magnificent entrance into the Outer Banks. Regardless of what awaits on the other side, I can’t help but get excited. The vacation-like atmosphere seeps into my soul as we pass trucks pulling boats and hear the squawking of seagulls filling the air. I let myself go and slip into the laid back vibe.

I should probably feel guilty that Adam slept in the backseat of the Neon all night. He probably didn’t get much rest. But there was no way I was inviting him back into that bed after he spoke to her. He didn’t even put up much of a fight. He shoved a pillow under his arm and left. He came in the room this morning to use the bathroom before waiting outside for me to get ready.

I just can’t compete with all his women. He had a nightmare about Katie in the car and seemed pretty shook up about it. The next thing I know he’s whacking off in the motel bathroom. Is that normal operating procedure after he dreams about her? Is that why he invites all those women back to his apartment? To get off after he mind-fucks his dream girl? Was I just next on the list? Yep, that’s me—the available body in the room.

And what kills me is that I would’ve done it. I would’ve slept with him. I was willing to let myself be used just for the chance to be with him. I’ve never felt so aroused before he placed his body over mine. I would’ve given him whatever he wanted. I didn’t even touch him and I was on the brink just feeling him against me. He was ready. I was ready. And then that damn phone had to ring.

And just like that, reality came rushing back into the picture.

He’s not mine, not even for a night. If he’s not somewhere off in his head thinking about someone else, then it’s his baby mama tracking him down, trying to keep tabs on him. Well, he won’t have to wait long to satiate his desires with someone who fits Katie’s physical description. He’ll probably be banging Kelly all weekend long right under his brother’s nose. I mean, it’s obvious the boy has no self-control. He was this close to sleeping with me, and I’m about as far away from red hair and porcelain skin as he can get.

I roll down the window, desperate for some air. My hair flies across my face, but I don’t even notice. My thoughts are a jumbled mess. We’re supposed to meet everyone in a matter of minutes—his parents, Brian, Kelly. My stomach is in knots when the wheels of the car leave the bridge and touch down on the barrier island. I have to pull myself together, and it would help to have Adam on my side before entering the lion’s den.

I summon every reserve of determination I possess. Even though I hate being the one who is forced to speak first, I break the silence. “Adam, I know what happened between us last night was weird, but can we put it behind us so we can get through this?”

Immediately, I feel him looking at me out of the corner of my eye, but I still refuse to look at him. “Yeah, I’d like that, Jada.” The consideration in his tone has me feeling that familiar twinge in my stomach, but I can’t give in to it. Whatever that was in the motel room is going to be over the minute he sees Kelly in all her pregnant glory. I’ll be lucky to remain a blip on his radar over the next few days.

I only wish I had touched him. Why didn’t I run my hands down his back? Why didn’t I devour his lips when they glided across mine? There’s nothing I hate more than regret, and last night is a wasted opportunity that is going to haunt me every time I look at him.

And the intensity of the pain behind that lingering doubt is almost cruel. Seeing him with Kelly is going to do nothing but aggravate the wound. Even Brian isn’t exposed to such torture since he’s apparently still with Kelly. She might not be faithful to him, but at least he has some claim on her. I have nothing tying me to Adam.

I want to talk with him more before we get there. These are the last few minutes we’re going to have to ourselves. Nobody is listening outside the door. No one is eavesdropping on our conversation. We’re free to say anything we want. So why can’t I get the words out?

“Adam…?” I start but my voice falters.

We turn into a quaint coastal village, and he’s momentarily distracted as he tries to find the road that the timeshare is on. “Hold on a sec, Jada. I think I may have passed it.” He consults the computer printout containing the directions and squints at the road signs. “Was that Sir Walter Raleigh Street?”

“Um, yeah. I think so.” I refuse to get out of this car until he talks to me. He can avoid me all he likes when he’s around his family, but there’s too much hanging in the balance for him to brush me off. I need to know where things stand between us.

“Wow, it’s not a timeshare at all. It’s a restored home. Sweet.” His mind is on our destination, and who can blame him? The place is fantastic. It’s like an image out of
Anne of Green Gables
. There’s even a room with a turret. I have to pinch myself to make sure it’s real.

“C’mon, let’s go in and check it out. My parents are dying to meet you.” His enthusiasm sounds so forced like he’s pumping himself up to introduce me to everyone. My heart drops, realizing that nothing about this feels natural. I don’t want it to be such an effort for him. It’s not exactly how I pictured meeting his parents for the first time, but then I have no clue what I’m getting myself into. They may reject me on the spot.

“Wait.” I grab his arm, pulling him back into the car. I’m so not ready for this. Why can’t he see that? There’s no way I can enter into this without clearing the air first. If he wants me to be his pretend girlfriend, I need more from him or it isn’t going to work.

“What?” He sounds annoyed as he loosens my grip on him, and that’s all it takes to set me off.

“How dare you!” I’m about to unleash a tirade on him, but he places a hand over my mouth. Quieting me, the tips of his fingers lightly skim across my burned cheek. The gesture is so intimate, so personal, that I relax against his touch.

“Jada, I…” He starts, but I flinch when I see someone peeking through the sheer curtains billowing off the veranda. We’re already being spied on.

“Forget it, Adam. You brought me here to play a role, and that’s what I intend to do.” His blue eyes darken as he takes me in, summing me up. A range of emotions flickers across his face before he clenches his jaw. “It’s better if we don’t let our feelings get in the way. Last night was a mistake. You were tired. I was tired. I’m just glad the phone rang before we did something we’d both regret.” My mouth is on autopilot. There’s no taking it back. The words are already out there. I can feel him withdrawing from me, resurrecting the barriers that used to separate us. I’m losing him, possibly for good, but I’m too scared to tell him the truth.

“So that’s how you really feel, huh?” He’s giving me one last chance to be honest with him. I should take it, but I can’t. Considering what lies before us, things are too complicated to begin any sort of relationship under such pretenses. I’m not strong enough to believe he cares about me enough. I’m his friend. I’m his partner. But I’m not his lover. And I’m not about to be added to his string of heartaches.

“Yeah, it is.” He leans closer to me, his lips inches from mine. My heartbeat accelerates and I can feel his warm breath of my face. I want to grab the back of his hair and pull him toward me. I yearn to experience what it would be like to really kiss him, and not just imagine it in my mind. We’ve come close so many times, and this could be my last chance. That’s it. I’m taking it.

And right when I’m about to take his lips with my own, someone knocks on the driver’s side window before opening the door.

“There you are, Adam. We’ve been waiting all morning for you.”

The false sweetness of the voice sets my teeth on edge. Adam draws away from me, and I know I’ve lost him for good this time—because as soon as he turns around, he’s confronted with the sight of a very pregnant belly in his face.

“Kelly…wow…how are you?” He staggers to get to his feet as she gives him room to get out. But when his head is down, her eyes find mine and she shoots me a triumphant look. She already knows she’s won. She doesn’t even consider me competition.

“Let’s go inside, stranger.” She immediately slips her arm through his, guiding him to the porch. I don’t know if he’s in shock or what, but apparently he’s forgotten all about me. I unfasten my seatbelt and slam the car door, hard.

This gets his attention because he halts halfway up the steps. “Kelly, hold up. I didn’t get a chance to introduce you to my girlfriend, Jada.”

She doesn’t extend her hand or anything, probably because she doesn’t want to let go of him for an instant. She merely nods in my direction before continuing her stream of chatter. “Adam, I’m dying to show you the latest sonogram. It’s amazing.”

I shuffle behind them feeling more self-conscious than ever. I can’t believe she’s even talking to Adam so openly about the baby, especially if Brian is somewhere nearby. The sheer audacity of this woman is mind-boggling. It’s not hard to see how events transpired if she set her sights on Adam while he was intoxicated and reeling from Katie’s death. She must’ve had him right where she wanted him. And it makes me sick.

Crossing the threshold, she places her hand on Adam’s chest. “Isn’t this house divine? There are so many nooks and crannies to get lost in.” She gives Adam a knowing look that turns my stomach. “But for now everyone’s in the parlor—Brian, your parents, my maid of honor.”

“Maid of honor?” I can’t help but speak up. Great, another chick to contend with? This just keeps getting better and better.

“Oh yeah, Adam. I’m so excited to see the two of you together.” Effectively ignoring me, Kelly continues to act like I’m invisible. But why is she so enthusiastic about pairing Adam up with someone else? “Since you’re Brian’s best man, you’re going to escort her down the aisle.” Well, that explains it. Kelly is already shooting her wedding album in her head. Ah, the absurdity of it.

“I didn’t realize you were having a maid of honor, Kelly. I thought it was just going to be the six of us and your parents when they got here.” Adam’s confused and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. I don’t like Kelly always seeming to be a step ahead of him. It’s too dangerous.

“Of course, silly. I wouldn’t dream of getting married without my cousin by my side. She’s like my little ‘Mini Me.’ Everyone always says we look alike—same red hair and freckles except I’m a lot taller than she is. Trust me, you’re going to love her.” Kelly continues to gush but something doesn’t feel right about this. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but there’s trouble brewing beneath the surface and I want to be ready for it.

Turning the corner, Kelly finally lets go of Adam and waltzes into the parlor. “Look who’s here, everybody!” Her jubilant announcement creates a buzz in the room, but Adam hangs back. His eyes are imploring me to come to him, and I can’t resist. Striding up to him, I give his hand a quick squeeze and he smiles down at me. Kelly’s rattled him a lot more than I thought.

“Thanks for doing this for me.” I can barely hear him over the clamor emanating from the other room as they urge Adam to show himself.

“No problem,” I whisper back. I would do anything for him, even if it’s not in my best interest. I’m too far gone. He’s everything to me now, whether he realizes it or not.

We’re just about to enter the room hand in hand when there’s a lull and a soft voice is audible above the others.

“Adam?”

He freezes next to me like he can’t believe what he just heard.

“Adam, what is it?” I ask, nudging him, but it’s like he’s somewhere else. He doesn’t respond. His family is begging him to enter the room, but it’s like he’s transfixed, straining to catch a hint of that voice again.

“Go get him, would you? He’s not listening to any of us.” Kelly pretends that she’s not aggravated when she really is. Everyone laughs as she blatantly shoves someone into our path.

Adam’s arms drop to his side and he turns a deadly shade of white when a petite girl with auburn hair stumbles into the hallway. They look at each other like neither one can believe what they’re seeing. The atmosphere is charged, and the undercurrent of emotion that swells between them is electric. Watching them together, I feel like I’m intruding on a sacred moment. I don’t belong here. I never did.

Recovering, she smoothes her hair away from her face and extends her hand. “You must be Adam. Kelly’s told me a lot about you.” She eyes me curiously but before she can say anything Adam draws her into a fierce embrace.

“I don’t know how you’re here or what’s going on, but…” He’s almost on the point of losing it as he buries his face in her hair. The implied intimacy of his action makes me lean against the wall for support. Who is this girl?

“Um, I think you have me confused with someone else,” the girl mumbles against his chest. Her face is flushed and she seems uncomfortable by the way he’s holding her. My legs threaten to give way as a sense of dizziness overwhelms me. This can’t be happening. How is it even possible?

“Never.” And in those two syllables, I know he’s lost. There’s no coming back from this. It’s too late.

“You don’t even know my name,” she protests freeing herself from his grasp. She’s breathing heavily, and so is he as they gaze upon each other. He’s looking at her the way every girl wants to be looked at. The way he never looked at me.

“Why don’t you tell me then?” He strokes her cheek like she’s the most precious thing in the world to him, and my heart stops beating. It’s like I never existed to him. He’s completely forgotten that I’m standing there. His full attention is where it’s always been…on her. And then she speaks, saying the words I’m dreading to hear, as my nightmare begins and his inexplicably comes to an end.