Collide (15 page)

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Authors: Melissa Toppen

Tags: #Romance, #two hearts, #Erotica, #breathless series, #New York CIty, #ohio, #Sex

BOOK: Collide
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“You realize that life is a lot less lonely when you let people in from time to time?” I say.

“This from the girl who closes herself off to the world.” He responds, turning his face down to me. “You would do well to follow your own advice from time to time Ms. Morgan.” He says, his face unreadable.

“Spoken like a true master of avoidance.” I reply, rolling to my back on a loud sigh. He rolls towards me and props up on his elbow so that he is hovering over me.

“Did I offend you?” He asks, his eyebrows arching in question.

“Not at all.” I say, turning to meet his gaze. “Does it ever bother you? You know, that no one really knows you. That people assume you are a certain type of person and you are constantly judged on what people don't actually know about you?” I ask.

“Not really.” He says on a shrug. “If I let people believe the bad then I don't have to worry about disappointing them. If people see good, they expect good and I don't want to have to live my life pleasing other people.”

“But you failed.” I say, a small smile playing on my lips.

“How so?” He asks, his forehead knitting together in confusion.

“I see the good.” I say, my voice barely a whisper. Before he can say anything, I wrap my hand around the back of his neck and pull his lips down to mine.

Chapter Eighteen

––––––––

J
ust after six in the evening I manage to escape the confines of Zayne's bed. Insisting that if I don't get food in me immediately I will simply die. While Zayne busies himself in the large, chef style kitchen making us sandwiches, I sneak off to explore his apartment.

It really is a beautiful place. The first floor is open and light with more windows than I would ever care to have. Just imagining having to clean all of them gives me anxiety but then again, I almost bet Zayne has someone that takes care of all of that for him. I can't imagine him cleaning windows of all things.

The apartment is a one level but the size is massive. I have a feeling my mom was right in her assumption of just how well Zayne and Alec have done for themselves. Everything about this place screams money.

The front door opens into a huge foyer with hardwood floors that spread into the open living room which is decorated very modern. A black leather wrap around couch sits in the middle of the room, two glass end tables and a matching coffee table surrounding it. An enormous flat panel television is mounted to the adjacent wall and currently has an episode of
Family Guy
playing on it. More for background noise than anything. The ceilings are vaulted which gives the room an even larger feel.

A few paintings line the walls that aren't occupied by windows. All beautiful but nothing like the painting in his bedroom. Based on the style and mainly the use of colors, I can only assume that they are from the same artist.

To the left of the apartment there is a hallway that houses four bedrooms, two additional bathrooms, a study and then the master at the very end of the hall. And to the right is the kitchen which only has a half wall that separates it from the living area.

I walk to the back wall and pull open the sliding glass door. The patio isn't huge but it's spacious enough that a table and four chairs fit with plenty of room to spare. I step out into the warm summer air and take a few steps out to the railing. The view is one you would expect in New York; buildings, buildings, and more buildings, but we're high enough up that I can only really see the rooftops of a good portion of them.

I hear Zayne approach behind me and I turn to see him sitting two plates holding sandwiches and fresh fruit on the table. He smiles at me and then disappears again, reappearing seconds later with two glasses of iced tea.

“I must say, I'm impressed.” I say, taking a seat in the chair that he slides out for me.

“I am nothing if not a gracious host.” He says, taking the seat next to me. We make small talk about nothing of any real significance. The weather, Emma's audition and he makes it a point to find out as much about Carver as he can.

While I doubt he would ever admit it, I can't help but get the feeling that something about Carver really bothers him. I would describe it as jealously but I'm not a hundred percent convinced that he cares enough about me to actually be jealous.

He drives me home just after seven, pulling over about a block from my apartment building. I know right away what he's doing and I can't help but laugh at his over cautiousness.

“What?” He asks, putting his black Cadillac CTS sports car into park before turning to face me.

“Are you really that worried that someone will see us together. I mean, we could be friends you know. That wouldn't be a completely ridiculous idea would it?” I ask, shifting in my seat to face him.

“I don't ever think we could pass as just friends Grace.” He says, reaching out to trail his fingertips lightly across my collarbone through his old t-shirt that I had no choice but to wear home, given that my shirt somehow seems to have disappeared.

“Why's that?” I ask, my voice catching in my throat as his hand trails further down, his thumb flicking across my nipple.

“I don't think I could keep my hands off of you long enough.” He says, leaning forward, his hand falling to my inner thigh.

“I think you could manage.” I croak out, feeling hot and flustered by the closeness of our bodies in the tiny space of the car.

“I don't.” He says, closing the gap between us. His lips brush against mine so gently that I don't even know if you could classify it as a kiss. “Now go home before I lose the ability to let you leave.” He breathes against my mouth.

I can't find the words to respond so I simply push back against my door, my hand fumbling with the door handle before finally getting it open. I slip out of the passenger seat and glance back at him. He's still leaning across the center console, his eyes dark and hungry and it takes everything I have to shut the door between us.

I quickly make my way to the sidewalk. Deciding looking back at him again would be a horrible idea, I keep my eyes forward and reach the front steps of my apartment building within two minutes. When I finally push my way through the front door, Emma rushes towards me, anger wild on her beautiful face.

“Where the hell have you been?” She lashes out at me, not even giving me a chance to get all the way into the apartment. “I have been trying to call you for hours!” She exclaims, stepping back to give me enough room to close the door.

“I'm sorry, I lost my phone.” I say, tossing my keys onto the kitchen counter. “I went out with Becca and Jake last night after work and ended up crashing on their couch. I should have called.”

“Ya think? Carv, she's here.” She yells down the hallway. I hear Carver's bedroom door open and he appears in the living room moments later.

“Thank god. Where the hell were you? You had Emma blowing me up at work hoping I had talked to you.” He says, crossing his arms in front of him.

“Again, lost my phone. Stayed with a couple co-workers. Sorry Mom and Dad, won't happen again.” I hold up my hands in surrender.

“Now darling, you know your mother and I just worry about you is all. We just want you to be safe.” He says, a wide smile breaking across his handsome face. Carver has to be the most likeable person I have ever met in my life. His ability to make fun of an otherwise serious situation has always been one of my favorite things about him.

“I know. I love you guys too.” I say, wrapping my arm around Emma's shoulder and pulling her into my side. “Sorry Em. Won't happen again.” I say. “I'm hoping I left my cell at the bar. Next time, I'll make sure I text you if I'm not coming home.”

“You better.” She pouts, smacking my arm away. “I have been dying to talk to you all day and now, well now my big news doesn't seem that exciting. You stole my thunder.” She says, stomping towards the couch.

“Big news?” I question excitedly, quickly joining her on the lumpy old couch. “You got cast!?” It's more of a question then a statement and Emma's face immediately lights up.

“I got cast!” She says with a squeal, bouncing up and down in her seat. “It's not a major part, not yet anyways. I am the understudy for the part of Elphaba.”

“But that's the lead role. Em, you will be the understudy for the lead role in one of the hottest musicals out right now! Do you realize how amazing that is?” I pull her into a tight hug. “I am so proud of you.” I say, releasing her. “You're doing it Em. You're actually doing it.”

“I know! New York theater, can you believe it? I never dreamed I would get cast on my first audition.” She sighs, sinking back into the couch.

“I knew you would. Em, you are the most talented person I have ever seen. There's no way you're not gonna end up in the spotlight.”

“Thanks Grace. What about you? Any news from the agencies?” I told Emma and Carver about my interest in becoming published but I have yet to tell anyone what the novel is about. I'd rather wait and let them read it. Talking about it is... well it's too hard and honestly I don't want to rehash the past, especially with Emma who was there to see me fall apart first hand.

After congratulating Emma for the next twenty minutes and then making plans with her and Carver to go out sometime next week to celebrate based on Emma's schedule, I finally head to my room to relax for a little while before I have to head to work.

I collapse on my bed, hoping to be able to close my eyes for a few minutes before hitting the shower but my plans are foiled when a light knock sounds on my door. “Yeah.” I call, not bothering to get up.

The door creaks open and then Carver steps inside, a small shipping box in his hand. “Hey. This came for you earlier today.” He says, sitting it on my bedside table.

“Oh okay. Probably my mom.” I say on a shrug. “She's always sending me random things from home.”

Carver walks over and flops down on his stomach next to me, the bed sinking under his athletic frame. “You okay?” I turn my head to the side to look at him.

“I am. Just tired.” He says on a sigh, closing his eyes.

“Me too.” I groan out, wanting nothing more than to lay here with Carver and take a power nap but realizing very quickly that time is getting away from me. “I gotta get ready for work.” I say, pushing myself into a sitting position. Carver lets out a light grunt but doesn't open his eyes.

I pat my goofy best friend on the head and then push myself to my feet, making my way down the hall to the shower.

When I re-enter my room thirty minutes later, Carver is fast asleep on my bed, a light snore filling the otherwise quiet space. I can't help but laugh at his tall frame draped sideways across the bed, his long legs hanging off the side.

I quickly dress under my robe before hanging Zayne's shirt in the corner of my closet. I know it's silly but I like the idea of being able to pull it out and smell it whenever I want to. His scent is the most intoxicating smell in the world and in a weird way, it comforts me.

After spending another thirty minutes in the bathroom doing my hair and makeup, I head out into the living room to slip on my converse and say goodbye to Em, who is lounging on the couch watching
Snapped
, a show about people who literally snap and start killing other people. It's a crazy show and one that I don't care for. I hate anything that has to do with death and as such, I avoid shows like this at all costs.

Realizing I never opened the package that came for me, I head back down the hall and grab the box from my nightstand, careful not to wake Carver in the process. Poor guy. His uncle has him working close to sixty hours a week and it's clear that he is exhausted.

I sit the box on top of the kitchen counter and then grab a knife to slice through the packing tape before pulling the box open. A note is perched on top and I recognize the handwriting immediately.

It's from Ian.

––––––––

Gracie,

I hope you are having a blast in New York and not missing me too much. I sure miss you. And Emma too. How is Emma by the way?

I
let out a laugh at his ridiculousness before continuing.

Anyways, Mom would kill me if she knew I sent this to you so you have to promise not to tell her. She thinks it's too hard for you with it being nearly the five year mark and all but I think she doesn't give you enough credit.

Kyle's mom came by the house the other day. Apparently they are just now cleaning out his old bedroom and she found something that Kyle bought for you. She said he was going to give it to you before he left for college and she thought you might like to have it now.

I hope you don't mind that I sent it to you. I feel like it should be your choice if you want it or not.

Hope everything is good with you.

Love you lots little sis!

-Ian

My hands are shaking by the time I reach inside the box. I have no idea what it could be which makes me that much more anxious to find out. I pull out some packing materials and throw them on the counter before I catch sight of a small, white jewelry box sitting on the bottom. Tears instantly prick the back of my eyes as I pull it out and slowly pull it open.

Inside is a beautiful silver chain with a compass charm. I gently pull the chain from the box and lay it in my hand, no longer able to contain the tears now flowing down my cheeks.

I run my fingers across the compass, knowing exactly the reason he bought it for me. I was so worried about him leaving for college, about us being apart. Though I tried to put on a brave face for him, he knew it was something I was struggling with. The time, the distance between us.

Flipping the charm over, I immediately catch sight of an engraved message. I lift it closer to my face and blink away the tears clouding my vision. In a perfect cursive inscription around the outer edge the message reads:

No matter the journey or the destination, my heart will always be with you

GM&KP Forever

Chapter Nineteen

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O
ver a week has passed since I received the necklace that Kyle bought for me. While it is a painful reminder of what I lost, it's also a reminder of what I had. Of the boy I loved and the life we shared together, no matter how short.

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