Authors: Elizabeth Wein
âI've got bicycles,' Maddie said. âA couple of the mechanics let me borrow them. Rain doesn't stop those lads working.'
âWhere are we going?'
âThe Green Man. Pub at the foot of the cliffs on St Catherine's Bay, last chance before it shuts down next week. The proprietor's fed up being fired at. Not by the Germans, mind you, it's our own lads drilling the pub sign out there on the edge of the shingle, last thing before they head home after a battle â they do it for luck!'
âBet they do it to get rid of unused ammunition.'
âWell, it's a landmark, and you're the navigator. Find the coast and go south, easy peasy! You can use my compass. If you
can't
find it I'm afraid it'll be nowt but cold beans straight from the tin for your dinner â'
âThat's not fair! I'm back on shift at eleven tonight!'
Maddie rolled her eyes. âBloomin' 'eck, that leaves us only about fifteen hours for a ten-mile pushbike ride! But it'll give me a chance to finish telling you my fears.' Maddie had her man's greatcoat on and was tying it up round her ankles so it wouldn't catch in the bicycle chain.
âI hope you've got a tin-opener,' Queenie said ominously, struggling into her own greatcoat, âand a spoon.'
It was astonishing, after ten minutes' pedalling away from RAF Maidsend, how peaceful the drenched Kent countryside was. It was true that every now and then you passed a concrete gun emplacement or watchtower, but mostly you were just travelling through rolling, chalky fields, green with turnips and potatoes and mile upon mile of orchards.
âYou might have brought your brolly,' Queenie said.
âI'm saving it for the next air raid.'
They came to a crossroads. There were no road signs, not one; they'd all been taken down or blacked over to confuse the enemy in the event Operation Sea Lion was successful and the German army came swarming inland. âI've no
idea
where we are,' Queenie wailed. The mechanic's bike was so big for her that she couldn't sit down on it; she had to stand on the pedals. She seemed in perpetual danger of falling off, or of being devoured by her enormous overcoat. She had the outraged, distraught look of a wet cat.
âUse the compass. Keep going east till you find the sea. Pretend,' Maddie told her, inspired â âPretend you're a
German spy
. You've been dropped here by parachute. You've got to find your contact, who's at this legendary smugglers' pub by the sea, and if anyone catches you â'
Under her dripping plastic rain hat, the kind you get in a tiny cardboard box with a flower on it for a halfpenny, Queenie gave Maddie a strange look. It had challenge in it, and defiance, and excitement. But also
enlightenment
. Queenie leaned forward over the handlebars of her bicycle and was off, pedalling like fury.
At the crest of a low rise she bounded off her bike in one almighty leap like a roe deer away up the glens, and was halfway up a tree before Maddie realised what she was doing.
âGet down, you daft idiot! You'll be soaked! You're
in uniform
!'
âVon hier aus kann ich das Meer sehen,' said Queenie, which is âI can see the sea from here' in German. (Oh â silly me. Of course it is.)
âShut up! You lunatic!' Maddie scolded furiously. âWhat are you
doing?
'
âIch bin eine Agentin der Nazis.' Queenie pointed. âZum Meer geht es da lang.'
âYou'll get us both shot!'
Queenie considered. She looked at the teeming sky, looked at the endless dripping apple orchard and looked at the empty road. Then she shrugged and said in English, âDon't think so.'
â“
Careless talk costs lives
,”' Maddie quoted.
Queenie laughed so hard she slid gracelessly and painfully from one branch to a lower branch, and tore her coat climbing down. âNow just you be quiet, Maddie Brodatt. You told me to be a Nazi spy and I'm being one. I won't let you get shot.'
(I really would like to catapult myself back there in time and kick my own teeth in.)
The outbound route to St Catherine's Bay was, shall we say,
creative
. It involved Queenie getting off her bicycle at every single crossroads â each one wet, windy and featureless â and climbing a wall or gate or tree to get her bearings. Then there was always a palaver with the greatcoat as she got going again, and near misses with puddles.
âYou know what I'm scared of ?' Maddie yelled at the top of her voice, rain and east wind beating in her face as she pedalled energetically to keep up with the small wireless operator. âCold tinned beans! It's quarter to two. The pub'll be shut by the time we get there.'
âYou said it doesn't shut till next week.'
âFor the afternoon, you gormless halfwit! They stop serving till evening!'
âI think that's frightfully unfair of you, blaming it on me,' Queenie said. âIt's your game. I'm just playing along.'
âAnother thing I'm scared of,' Maddie said.
âThat doesn't count. Neither do the tinned beans. What are you most afraid of â what's your number one fear?'
âCourt martial,' answered Maddie briefly.
Queenie, uncharacteristically, was silent. And stayed silent for some time, even while she did another of her tree-climbing surveys of the surrounding area. Finally she asked, âWhy?'
It had been a good long while since Maddie had given her answer, but Queenie did not need to remind her what the subject had been.
âI keep
doing
things. I make decisions without thinking. Crikey, firing a ruddy anti-aircraft gun â no authorisation whatsoever, and Messerschmitt 109s circling overhead!'
âThe Messerschmitt 109s circling overhead were the reason you were firing it,' Queenie pointed out. âI authorised you. I'm a Flight Officer.'
âYou're not
my
Flight Officer and you don't have any gunnery authority.'
âWhat else?' Queenie asked.
âOh â things like guiding in the German pilot the other day. I've done something like that before, only in English.' She told Queenie about talking down the lads in the Wellington, the first time. âNo one authorised that either. I didn't get in trouble, but I should have. So stupid. Why did I do it?'
âCharity?'
âI could have killed them though.'
âYou
have
to take risks like that. There's a war on. They could have bought it and gone down in flames themselves, without your help. But with your help they made it down safely.'
Queenie paused. Then she asked, âWhy are you so
damn good
at it?'
âAt what?'
âAir navigation.'
âI'm a pilot,' Maddie said â you know, she was so matter-of-fact, she wasn't proud, she wasn't defensive â just,
I'm a pilot
.
Queenie was outraged.
âYou said you didn't have any
skills
, you fibber!'
âI haven't. I'm only a civil pilot. I haven't flown for a year. I haven't got an instructor's rating. I've a good many hours, probably more than most of our lads in the Spitfires; I've even flown at night. But I'm not using it. When they expand the Air Transport Auxiliary, I'm going to try to join â if the WAAF'll let me go. I'll have to do a course. There's no flight training on for women at the minute.'
Queenie apparently had to turn all this over in her head on her own for a while as she considered the implications of it: Maddie Brodatt, with her unrefined South Manchester accent and her no-nonsense bike mechanic's approach to problems, was a pilot â with more practical experience than most of the young RAF Maidsend Squadron who were daily and sleeplessly hurling themselves towards flame and death against the Luftwaffe.
âYou're dead quiet,' Maddie said.
âIch habe einen Platten,' Queenie announced.
âSpeak English, you lunatic!'
Queenie stopped her bike and climbed off. âI have a puncture. My tyre's flat.'
Maddie sighed heavily. She propped her own bicycle against the verge and squatted in a puddle to look. Queenie's front tyre was nearly completely flat. The puncture must have happened only seconds before â Maddie could still hear the air hissing out of the inner tube.
âWe'd better go back,' she said. âIf we go on we'll have too far to walk. I don't have a repair kit.'
âO faithless one,' Queenie said, pointing to the entrance to a farm lane about twenty yards further on. âThis is my plan to scrounge a meal before I meet my contact.' She sniffed knowingly, nose raised into the wind. âA provincial farmhouse lies less than a hundred yards away, and I smell meat stew and fruit pie â' She took her wounded bicycle by the handlebars and set off up the lane at a determined pace. Land Army girls were hoeing among the cabbages in the adjoining field â no time off for them in the rain either. They had sacks tied round their legs with string and ground sheets with holes in the middle for rain capes. Maddie and the disguised Nazi spy were well-equipped by comparison in their RAF men's overcoats.
A chorus of vicious dogs began to bark as they approached. Maddie looked round anxiously.
âDon't worry, that's just noise. They'll be tied up or they'd bother the Land Girls. Is the sign up?'
âWhat sign?'
âA jar of rowan berries in the window â if there's no rowan in the window I won't be welcome.'
Maddie burst out laughing.
âYou
are
daft!'
âIs there?'
Maddie was taller than her companion. She stood on tiptoe to see over the barnyard wall, and her mouth dropped open.
âThere
is
,' she said, and turned to gape at Queenie. âHow â?'
Queenie leaned her bicycle against the wall, looking very smug. âYou can see the trees over the garden wall. They've just been trimmed. It's all very tidy and pretty in a wifely way, but she'll have dug up her geraniums to plant tatties for the War Effort. So if she has something nice to decorate her kitchen with, like fresh-cut rowan berries, she's likely to do it,
and
â'
Queenie settled her hair into shape beneath the plastic rain bonnet. â
And
she's the sort of person who will feed us.'
She let herself in boldly at the kitchen door of the strange farm.
âAh've nae wish tae disturb ye, Missus â' Her well-bred, educated accent suddenly developed an irresistible Scottish burr. âWe've come frae RAF Maidsend and Ah've had this wee spot o' bother wi' me bike. Ah wondered â'
âOh, no trouble at all, love!' the farmer's wife said. âI've a couple of Land Girls boarding with me, and I'm sure we've got a puncture repair kit among us. Mavis and Grace'll be in the fields just now, but if you wait a moment I'll check the shed â Oh, and for goodness sake come in and warm yourselves first!'
Queenie produced, as if by magic, a tin of 25 Player's from deep in the pockets of her greatcoat. Maddie realised suddenly that this infinite supply of cigarettes was carefully hoarded â realised that she'd scarcely ever seen Queenie smoking, but that she used cigarettes as gifts or as payment in kind in place of cash â for tips and poker chips and, now, bicycle patches and lunch.
Only once, Maddie remembered now, had she seen Queenie smoking a cigarette she hadn't lit for someone else â only once, when she'd been waiting to interview the German pilot.
Queenie held out the cigarettes.
âOh, goodness no, that's
far
too much!'
âAye, take them, let your lassies share 'em out. A gift o' thanks. But would ye no gie us a loan o' your hob to heat our wee tin o' beans before we go?'
The farmer's wife laughed merrily. âThey making WAAF officers take to the roads like gypsies, are they, buying a boil of your tea can in exchange for a smoke? There's shepherd's pie and apple crumble left over from our own dinner, you can help yourselves to that! Just a minute while I find you a patch for your tube â'
They were soon tucking into a steaming hot meal considerably better than any they'd eaten at Maidsend for the past three months, including new cream to pour over the home baking. The only inconvenience was that they had to eat it standing up as there was so much traffic through the kitchen â the chairs had been removed so as not to clutter up the passage of farmhands and Land Army girls and dogs (no children; they'd been evacuated, away from the front line of the Battle of Britain).
âYou owe me four more fears,' Queenie said.
Maddie thought. She thought about most of the fears that Queenie had confessed to â ghosts, dark, getting smacked for naughtiness, the college porter. They were almost childish fears, easily bottled. You could knock them on the head or laugh at them or ignore them.
âDogs,' she said abruptly, remembering the slavering hounds on the way in. âAnd Not Getting the Uniform Right â my hair's always too long, you're not allowed to alter the coat so it's always too big, things like that. And: Southerners laughing at my accent.'
âOch aye,' Queenie agreed. It could not be a problem she ever encountered, with her educated, upper-crust vowels, but being a Scot she sympathised with any distrust of the soft Southern English. âYou've only one more fear to go â make it good.'
Maddie dug deep. She came up honestly, hesitating a little at the simplicity and nakedness of the confession, then admitted: âLetting people down.'
Her friend did not roll her eyes or laugh. She listened, nodding, stirring the warm cream into the baked apples. She didn't look at Maddie.
âNot doing my job properly,' Maddie expanded. âFailing to live up to expectations.'
âA bit like my fear of killing someone,' Queenie said, âbut less specific.'
âIt could include killing someone,' said Maddie.