Clarity (7 page)

When I went downstairs, Dad, Gran, and even Erin were waiting for me. They were all dressed in black.

I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. “What’s this about then?”

Dad glanced at Erin, who rolled her eyes and said, “We thought it would be nice if we all came with you.”

“Um, it’s okay,” I said, panicking. “It won’t be... the kind of thing you’re used to.”

“We know there’ll probably be cultural differences.” Gran sounded pretty excited.

“Uh, you could say that,” I said slowly. I had no idea if there was going to be any kind of odd werewolf ceremony, like after
Lia
had died, and I didn’t want my family there gawking at the weirdness. On the other hand, the memorial was taking place in the community hall, so it couldn’t be too off the wall.

“
Perdy
, we know you were upset when Nathan’s grandmother died. We want to support you,” Dad said.

I melted. I couldn’t make them stay home when they had been worrying about me so much. Gran was even making the effort to be around Erin, all for me. For some reason, I felt a lump in my throat. “Fine. You can come. But act normal, even if things get weird.”

They all exchanged bemused glances, but I couldn’t even try to explain. I had no idea what to expect.

Small groups of people hung around outside the community hall when we arrived. A couple of adults approached us to gossip, basically. None of them knew much about
Lia
, and they were apparently curious about the whole family.

“What kind of people would want to live on a ghost estate?” an old woman whispered to Gran. “It’s practically abandoned.”

“People who want peace from gossiping ‘
oul
wans
,” I muttered under my breath, earning a nudge from Dad.

“She never once came to any of our outings.” The old woman
tutted
, turning up her nose. “And now they’re using
our
hall.”

I gazed at Dad pleadingly, and he pushed me ahead with a small smile. We walked into the community hall together, and I couldn’t believe how different the normally bland centre appeared. Vibrant colours flashed in every corner.

I caught sight of Nathan speaking with Amelia at the front of the room. He turned around to look at me as I took a step toward him. We both grinned, and I couldn’t help wondering if he somehow sensed me standing there. He hurried over to us, and it was only then that I noticed he was wearing a suit. And looking extremely hot in it, too.

He touched my hands lightly before turning to my family and thanking them for coming. I could almost hear the brownie points racking up. I made a gagging sound when he called Dad “sir,” but they all ignored me and acted as if it was perfectly normal.

“Do you mind if
Perdita
sits with me?” he asked Dad, who had no choice but to say it was fine.

“Please, do not embarrass me,” I hissed at my family before I left to join Nathan. “No gossiping either!”

“When have I ever embarrassed you?” Dad looked as if butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth.

“Please, Dad. I like him, okay? So be nice.” Ignoring the surprise on my dad’s face, I followed Nathan, leaving my family to their own devices.

He looked back, totally catching me checking him out. “So you like me, eh?”

“What did I tell you about eavesdropping? Keep walking, slick.”

“Not my fault you’re loud,” he teased, taking my hand.

Two sets of rows of chairs ran parallel and were divided by a long royal blue rug, the same chairs and rug used for everything that went on in the community hall. Nathan led me up front to join Byron and Amelia. Byron nodded at me and took his turn at the top of the room, greeting everyone who showed up. There was a mixture of well-known faces and complete strangers, but it seemed as if everyone gazed in our direction.

“Maybe I should sit somewhere else,” I said, glancing around nervously.

“Don’t be stupid. You’re part of us now,” Nathan said abruptly, his good mood gone.

I could hear the strain in his voice. I squeezed his hand, and a lot of tension left his shoulders.

“Sorry,” he said, shaking his head.

I didn’t mention sitting elsewhere again. I got the sense he needed me close by, and I guessed that
Jakob
hadn’t called. I tried not to feel angry about that. I ignored the staring and gazed about the room, wondering who had doused it in colour. The room was covered in flowers—not bunches, nor vases, but actual planters and flowerpots. The effect was unusual, but it made me feel more at home somehow, as though we weren’t at something solemn, as though it wasn’t the end of anything.

It took at least fifteen minutes for everyone to be seated, and I wondered what was going to happen. Nathan hadn’t been very forthcoming, and I would have felt awkward asking him twenty questions about it.

The room quieted somewhat, and I glanced behind me to see Byron heading for us, his face paler than usual. A bearded
Jakob
came after him, closely followed by a young man I had never seen before. That one stared right at me with a funny look on his face, and Nathan’s fingers gripped mine hard.

“Ouch,” I hissed. Nathan loosened his fingers, flexing them repeatedly. “You okay?” I whispered, unable to understand the new tension in his shoulders.

He nodded, keeping his eyes on the others, and a shudder ran through me.

The three men sat in the row of chairs across from ours, and an old man with glasses stood and walked to the front of the room. He smiled at everyone and thanked them for coming before speaking about
Lia
. He seemed to have known
Lia
well, because he began with a couple of memories of her, sweet ones designed to make us all laugh rather than cry. He called a few people forward, and they all gave their own little speech about
Lia
. There was nothing religious about it, more like a group of friends sharing memories.

The weird tension left the air, and the event became something special. By the time it was over, I felt a warmth that had been missing since
Lia’s
death. The shock was a little less raw, the guilt a little less suffocating. Amelia cried, but it wasn’t that mournful cry that made me feel as though her world had just ended.

I enjoyed the memorial more than I expected. I liked how it made me feel, and for a while, I forgot all about the things that had been dragging me down. It was nice to get to know
Lia
in a different way, through the eyes of others. I knew it would help the whole family fit in, with neighbours getting to experience a slice of her life. Rumours had been spreading about Nathan’s family recently, but the stories told at the memorial would hopefully give them a chance to be part of the community.

We all walked to the graveyard afterward, each of us carrying a flowerpot. It was a strange procession, but it touched me deeply.

Nathan had been in a foul mood since his grandfather had shown up, and Amelia shrugged when he walked ahead to join some of his friends from school. The boys had turned up after the match. They hadn’t won, so that was probably the reason for their sombre moods. I couldn’t tell what was going on with Nathan, and I didn’t really care to work out what his mood swing meant.

We laid our flowers around
Lia’s
grave. I helped Amelia take some to an abandoned section of the graveyard because she didn’t want the older graves to be left barren.

“Well, how would you like to be forgotten?” she asked sharply when I raised a brow.

More tears were shed, someone sang a song, and then we all went back to Nathan’s house for food and drink. Judging by
Jakob’s
expression, he had absolutely no interest in hosting a wake, but Byron seemed insistent on it. I walked with my family, while Nathan and Amelia caught up with their grandfather. I didn’t particularly want to be around Nathan while he was in a mood. I could understand sad or upset, but he was livid, and I had no clue why. Those flashes of anger were becoming disturbingly more frequent. I didn’t recognise him when he acted that way. I didn’t particularly like him when he acted that way.

“That was really something,” Dad said.

“Oh, Dad.” I expected him to go all weird and call them hippies or something.

“No, I mean, I liked it. Everyone’s talking about how beautiful a sending off it was. We all missed her funeral. It was nice that they did this. Everyone’s been saying it. They’re a part of the community now. And you know what? She sounded like a wonderful person.”

“She was,” I said, crossing my fingers that nobody would ask questions about the real funeral because I was pretty certain it hadn’t been legal. “She kept them all together. Now she’s gone, and everything’s messed up.”

Erin
put her arm around my shoulder. “When someone leaves, another person takes over their role. It can take time for things to get sorted. They’ll be fine.”

“I hope so.”

Nathan’s family had made up a story about
Lia’s
death, telling everyone that she hadn’t been in the country when she had a heart attack and died. A death certificate from
France
had arrived a fortnight later, along with lots of other falsified documentation that allowed Nathan’s family to bury
Lia
in the local cemetery. That was strange enough, but Nathan hadn’t gone into any details, and I wasn’t altogether sure there was even a body in the grave we had visited. I had the strongest feeling that an awful lot of secrets remained.

Dad and
Erin
’s fingers remained permanently entwined, and although Gran gazed at them disapprovingly, she didn’t make one disparaging remark, which was a massive relief. I really needed her to lay off the battles for that one day.

A buffet of food had been laid out when we finally arrived at Nathan’s home. I didn’t know who had organised everything, but they had done an amazing job. It was almost like a party, but then, every wake I’d ever been to had ended up having a party feel to it, so I wasn’t too surprised. All of the guests seemed to be enjoying themselves. Lots of goodwill had been earned, and I figured the whole thing was a huge success.

Nathan’s family were the only ones who acted as though they didn’t want to be there.

Perdita

I didn’t see Nathan for at least an hour, and when he finally appeared, he dragged me out of the living room after him, a scowl on his face.

“What’s up?” I asked in the hallway.

“Nothing.”

“Okay, stop. Right now.” I wriggled out of his grip and put my hands on my hips, glaring at him. “What’s your problem?”

“Nothing. Let’s just get this over with, okay?”

“Nathan! You can’t ignore me and then come over and pull me by the hair like a little caveman!”

“What? I didn’t pull your hair.” He backed up, his hands raised defensively.

“It’s a figure of speech. I’m talking about the way you’ve been acting! I thought you were done with the bossy aggressive crap because you hunted this week. What’s with you?”

He avoided my eyes, reminding me of Amelia in a sulk. “
Opa
wants to see us. Can we deal with that first?”

Ignoring his foul mood, I brushed past him and stalked toward Byron’s office. Amelia, Byron, and
Jakob
were there, as was the young man who had been sitting with Byron and
Jakob
at the memorial. He stared at me a little too long, and I felt extremely uncomfortable under his gaze.

Despite still being miffed at Nathan’s attitude, I edged closer to him. Without moving more than an inch, he had managed to stand in front of me protectively. I got scared. Nathan rarely acted quite like that. His anger flew off him in waves, his eyes dilating like crazy, for no reason I could see.

“We won’t get a chance to speak until the crowds move on, and seeing as they’re Irish, that might take a while,”
Jakob
said. I tried not to bristle at his words.

Jakob
sat in Byron’s chair, and Byron was pretty much in the corner, forgotten by his own father. He looked almost as pissed off as Nathan.

“I found our fourth in
Turkey
, and this seemed like the perfect time to come home.” There was something exceptionally cold in his strangely flat tone of voice. I badly missed the old
Jakob
.

“Yeah, that’s great,” Nathan said. “Find out anything important when you ran away?”

Jakob
stilled, his face paling with anger. “Enough of your attitude, Nathan. We don’t have time for the tantrums of a child.”

“Why don’t I take the kids outside while you two catch up?”
Starey
McGawky
said, ushering Nathan, Amelia, and me out into the hall before anyone could argue.

“Kids?” Nathan sounded furious.

“Come on, little cousin. I saved your life back there. Trust me. You don’t want to get in his way right now. Besides, you
are
kids.”

“Wait.
You’re
Jeremy?” I blurted.