Clarity (9 page)

I paced my room while Byron tried to escort everyone out. I couldn’t handle the tension and excitement in the air. It ripped a hole in the barrier between me and wolf. And I couldn’t forget
Perdita’s
face, how I hadn’t protected her again.

What good was I? I had taken my bad mood out on her and left her by herself. She’d left with only bad memories of me, and that was killing me. There had been so much blood, so little movement. I didn’t even know if her dad would be okay. If he died…

I tried not to think of all the terrible things that would happen. It was Mémère all over again. That awful sense of helplessness pervaded, suffocating me.

I couldn’t go through it another time. Same mistakes. More pointless pain. Something had to be done.

By the time everyone had left, I was ready to punch my fist through the wall. I rang
Perdita’s
phone numerous times, desperate to know what was happening, but no one answered. Byron warned me not to leave, but I was close to running. The walls shrank in on me, making me feel cornered, caged.

Amelia was still sobbing when Jeremy brought me downstairs.

“Chill, little man,” he warned me, his fingers pinching my shoulders.

“Easy for you to say,” I snapped.

Byron came in first, but he looked as aggravated as I was, and for some reason, that deflated a little of my own anger. I wasn’t alone in my frustration or confusion. That meant something.

“What’s going on?” I demanded. “How the hell did this happen?”

He shrugged wearily, falling into a chair and rubbing his eyes. “Let’s wait for the alpha to fill us in.”

Those words only served to fill me with dread. If Byron wasn’t in control of the situation, then what chance was there for me?
Opa
must have heard him, but he didn’t respond when he joined us. He didn’t take a chair, but in an alpha kind of voice that meant we couldn’t refuse, he demanded that we all sit. It was demeaning to be told to sit like a dog, embarrassing that none of us could help but comply. There wasn’t time to voice those thoughts. I was too intent on hearing what he had to say.

“The female was here,” he said. “She was alone, but we can follow her trail to find the others if they don’t come to us. Now that they believe we’ve no defences, they’re more likely to come to us. I need at least one alive to get to their leader. Remember that before the fight begins.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” I blurted. “What about
Perdita
?”

“Keep away from the girl,” he said, as if she were nothing.

“What?” Byron sounded as baffled as I felt. “How can he keep away from her? Why would he?”

“I don’t want the female to scent any of us on
Perdita
. The bitch won’t come close enough again if she does.”

Silence filled the room as we all exchanged confused glances. Byron’s eyes caught mine, and it seemed as though he decided something because he gave me a reassuring nod and faced his father. “Are you crazy? I’m asking very seriously here. Why the hell would we want that creature to get close to any child, never mind Nathan’s mate?”

I was speechless with anger and shock. That man wasn’t my grandfather. He would never talk like that.

“In case you haven’t noticed, I haven’t actually found their alpha. He’s tucked away in a hole for all I know. This is the only way to get to him. Lure in his people, take care of them, and send a stronger message back to him, something that will force him to face me himself. It’s the only way.”

Byron stuttered for a couple of seconds. “By using a teenage girl as bait? Dad, what is this?”

“This is the plan. I’ve been tracking him for weeks. I can’t catch his scent for love nor money. People won’t talk, at least not enough. But I know their ways. And I know his name, know how he works. I’ve picked up a few important pieces of information.”

“Such as?” Byron sounded more sceptical than angry, as if pacifying someone he knew was unable to do anything.

“Such as the one
Perdita
killed. The one who… the female is his daughter.
Loyal
daughter. The word is that she’s the type who can’t stop herself from coming for revenge, that she’s unhinged enough to walk straight into the lion’s den. I wasn’t sure when, but I knew it would happen. I knew the others would follow if she survived.”

“Wait a second,” I said, thinking hard. “You knew this would happen? You knew she’d come after
Perdita
?”

He nodded. I watched him in a daze, barely capable of comprehending what was happening. “Yes, of course.
Perdita
and her father. I wasn’t sure if she’d be stupid enough to come to our home in front of dozens of people, but she did, knowing full well we wouldn’t be able to respond so publicly.” He hacked out a laugh. “She wanted to show us what she could do.”

“You… you could have stopped this? You wanted this to happen?”

“Think about it, Nathan. If we kill everything he sends, he won’t come to us. If we use them to track him down, or force him out of his hole, then we have a chance of confronting him once and for all. We need to find out what he’s after and dangle it on a string. This is only the first step.”

My heart felt as though the life was being squeezed out of it. I literally couldn’t believe what I was hearing. My grandfather was nuts. Absolutely nuts. Bait. That was what the day had boiled down to. That was why he had returned, to see who would come at us. I wished with a passion that he had stayed away forever. We were all worse off than we had been with him gone.

I made my way to the door, determined to leave. “Well, you lot can do whatever you like. I’m going to
Perdita
. No way am I being a part of this mess.”

“No!” he shouted. “You keep away from that girl. I mean it.”

A shuddery sensation ran through me, and I froze to the spot. I stared at him in horror. “Take that back.”

He shook his head, not even bothering to answer me properly.

“You… you can’t do that. Why would you do that?
Opa
, please!”

“Trust your elders,” he said.

Byron stared at me, looking as horrified as I felt.

“Do something,” I urged him, knowing he could if he tried. He looked away, and I felt even more helpless than ever. No wonder
Perdita
hated us. We as good as attacked her father ourselves. “If she gets hurt, I’ll never forgive you,” I managed to hiss at my grandfather.

“She won’t,” he said. But he had no way of knowing that.

“What am I supposed to do?” I heard the pleading in my voice, but he didn’t even react.

Jeremy spoke up instead. “Run with the pack. Take them down. Then everything goes back to normal.”

“So you’re ready to make murderers out of the whole family?” Byron asked.

Jeremy opened his mouth to answer, but my grandfather spoke instead, his eyes glittering with anger. “We do what has to be done. We’re too weak. That’s going to change. Before we lose another member.”

“As if you’d care.” I stormed out of the room, ignoring Amelia’s tear-filled eyes.

I tried to call
Perdita
again. No answer. Frustrated beyond belief, I stomped outside and caught her scent. I saw her dad’s blood on the ground. A broken mobile phone lay next to it.
Perdita’s
. At least that gave me a little bit of hope that she wasn’t ignoring me.

I found the female’s scent close by, and anger surged through me as I came across her clothing. She had walked among us in human form and was rubbing our faces in what she had accomplished. Where had she gone? Did she have a hiding place? Clothes hidden nearby?

I let out a sound that was more animal than human, stripped off my clothes without even checking to see if anyone was around, and phased. Then I ran, following the female werewolf’s scent. I heard a bark;
Cú
followed me. I kept running, trying to find a strong trail. She’d backtracked a few times, and that confused me. I was useless at tracking anything smarter than a deer, and that made me even angrier.

I sprinted through the streets, startling quite a few people and not giving a crap about being seen. I made my way toward the hospital, but something stopped me. It was less of a barrier, and more to do with my body completely shutting down at an attempt to disobey the alpha.

Useless and unable to do a thing, I ran home with my tail literally between my legs.

***

At home, hours later, I still hadn’t calmed down. I wanted to hurt someone, just to feel as though I was doing something.

“You need to settle down. You’re even provoking my wolf,” Byron said after knocking on my bedroom door.

I grunted in answer, unable to stop my heart from racing. The wolf wanted out; the wolf wanted action. I didn’t even want to stop him anymore. My natural instincts didn’t include sitting at home waiting for instructions.

“We’ll get through this. I promise you.”

I glared at him. “And what about
Perdita
? Her dad?”

He lowered his voice. “I’m going to take care of it, Nathan. I’ll keep an eye on them as much as I can. We’ll talk some sense into Dad eventually. Did you catch anything out there?”

I shook my head, ashamed. “Kept catching her scent, but she was covering her trail. I couldn’t figure it out. I’m a crap werewolf, Byron.”

“You haven’t been taught. That’s all. Jeremy’s been running with wolves. He can help. But try not to antagonise your grandfather anymore. He’s not thinking straight right now. We don’t need him making any more orders, okay?”

I knew he was right, but keeping quiet in the face of pure insanity was going to be hard. “I tried going to her. I couldn’t move until I decided to turn back. It felt like crap. I need to talk to her. I need to see her.”

“I know. I’ll talk to him. I’ll try to fix this. We spoke more about his plans while you were gone. He’s trying to lure this alpha out of his lair. I don’t know if it’ll work, but maybe
Perdita
will be safer away from us.”

“And what about Amelia? What if there’s too many of them to fight? What if someone else dies, Byron?”

“Trust me, Nathan. We’re on the same page here. I know you’re worried about her, but for now, try to act normal. Have dinner with us, then go to school tomorrow and see if you can pass a message to her. There are ways around every order. Remember that.”

“How does he even know what their alpha will do? Why won’t he give us any details?”

He looked as though the world was bearing down on his shoulders. “I’m still trying to get through to him. That’s all I can tell you.”

He left me to mope. How was I supposed to do anything when the adults kept messing everything up? I was seventeen; I should have been able to make my own decisions. I should have been able to go to my girlfriend when she needed me. I hadn’t even known the will of the alpha could override the power of the curse.

It drove me mad, not knowing how
Perdita’s
dad was. He was strict and squeezed a little too tight when we shook hands, but I liked him. I knew she would feel responsible in some way. I wanted to be there with her.

I tried to come up with ways to get in touch with
Perdita
until Amelia knocked on my door, looking mournful and pathetic.

“I’m sorry,” she said as soon as I opened the door.

“For what?”

“Every single time something happens, I freeze. I fall apart. I want to be like you. You always know what to do. But I just… can’t.”

My laugh held no humour. “I have no idea what to do. I can’t even get near my own girlfriend.” I stared at her. “But you can.”

She hesitated. “Well… I mean,
Opa
might be against that, too.” I opened my mouth to argue, but she carried on in a hurry. “I really hope her dad’s okay. I tried calling her house, but nobody’s answering, so they must all still be at the hospital.”

“I still can’t believe
Opa
could have stopped this, and he didn’t even try.”

“He’s not like that. This is all a mistake.” She pulled a lock of hair around her fingers, tension making her hand shake.

“He admitted it! You heard him.”

“I think… I think it came out wrong. You know him. You know he wouldn’t hurt anyone.”

“Yeah, but that was before. He’s not the same now. He doesn’t care about anyone anymore.”

“That’s not true.” Her chin trembled, and she fled before a tear could fall. I didn’t want to upset her, but it aggravated me that she didn’t want to believe what had happened in front of us.

We ate leftovers that evening with not a word spoken between us. I left the table first. I couldn’t bear being in the same room as my grandfather. He didn’t even care.

“Hey,” Jeremy called before I could make it up the stairs. “
Wanna
walk the dogs with me?”

 
I shrugged.

“Come on. It’ll do us both good to get out of here. Let them deal with the clean-up, eh?”

I didn’t have anything else to lose, so I went with him.

“Don’t take it so hard,” he said once we were outside.