Cimarron, Denver Cereal Volume 4 (15 page)

“
But the
doctors…”

“
Don’t know everything,”
Blane said. “Why not just live?”

They fell into silence while they ate their
lunch. When the bill came Blane insisted on paying. They walked out
to the parking lot together.

“
Why don’t you call Heather
and set up an acupuncture appointment?”

“
I’d really like that,”
Enrique said. “What time?”

“
She keeps my schedule so I
have no idea,” he said.

“
I’ll see you soon
then?”

Enrique held out his hand for Blane to
shake. Blane hugged him.

“
I’ll see you soon,”
Enrique said.

Blane was almost at Lipson construction
before he realized what had just happened. Finally, after all these
years, he was over Enrique. Enrique wasn’t the love of his life.
Enrique wasn’t his personal demon. Enrique was just a man.

Blane wondered what that meant.

~~~~~~~~

Friday afternoon — 2:43 P.M.

“
Now Delphinium, why would
you want to be dead?” Jim Watts from Commercial Arts Glass
asked.

“
I don’t want to be dead,
Jim,” Delphie said. “It’s just something that happened.”

“
Why can I talk to
you?”

“
Because I want my old
Chapel put back the right way,” she said.

“
You’re never going to use
it,” he said.

“
I’m planning on haunting
the Chapel,” Delphie said.

“
But Delphie…”

“
Jim,” Sam shook his head.
“Let’s talk about the windows. What condition are they
in?”

“
We can repair two or maybe
three of the windows,” he said. “We’ll have to start from scratch
with the rest.”

“
You still have pictures
from when you repaired them?” Sam asked.

“
You want to replace them
as they were?” Jim asked. “We won’t be able to replace most of the
glass. It’s old Kokomo glass. They are still in business so we can
get close to the same thing but not exactly the same.”

“
I think that’s what we
want,” Sam said.

“
You want the twelve
stations of the cross?” Jim asked. “That’s what was there before.
Delphie, do you want to haunt a room with Stations of the Cross
windows?”

“
Weellll,” Delphie
said.

Sam and Jim looked at Delphie.

“
I really hate the
crucifixion and the one where he bleeds and…” Delphie said. “Which
ones were saved?”

“
The last two – death of
Christ and the burial,” Jim said. “I have them in my truck. Do you
want to check them?”

“
No, I remember,” Delphie’s
voice became stronger. “I would like to replace the windows with
something beautiful from every religion.”

“
You want new windows,” Jim
said. “Now, that’s the Delphinium I know. Which
religions?”

“
I don’t know,” Delphie
said. “I have to think about it.”

“
Why don’t I start on the
repair and you let me know about the others,” Jim said.

“
That will be fine,” Sam
said.

“
I can see your garden is
ready to plant,” Jim said.

“
My garden?” Delphie gazed
at the turned beds.

“
What about your bees?” Jim
asked. “How are they doing this spring?”

“
I don’t have beehives,”
Delphie said. “They flew away when they heard I was
dead.”

“
They look like they’re
going to town,” Jim said.

Delphie walked past the turned empty garden
beds to the beehives. She kneeled down between two of the hives to
watch the bees come in and out.

“
My bees…,” Delphie said.
“…didn’t leave.”

“
Doesn’t look like it to
me,” Jim said.

“
Sam, why didn’t my bees
leave?”

“
Because you’re not dead,”
Sam said.

Delphie blinked at Sam. She looked at Jim.
Without saying another word, she turned in place and walked back to
the house.

~~~~~~~~

Saturday early morning — 4:25 A.M.

Sandy opened her eyes. She’d felt something
brush against her face. Rolling over, she jerked back.

Aden.

Where was she? Where were the kids?

Moving to get up, she realized she was
naked. Aden was naked.

Ah crap.

CHAPTER
NINETY-EIGHT
Afford you

Saturday early morning — 4:25 A.M.

Sandy grimaced to herself. She’d really
fucked this up.

Last night, Aden said he would look after
the kids when she’d had a wedding party request a special Friday
night appointment. With Pete living at the shop, she’d felt safe
enough to take evening clients. And wedding parties were great
money, which she sorely needed right now.

She knew Nash wanted to talk to his Dad
about starting at Park Hill Elementary on Monday and Noelle just
wanted to spent time with him. But Social Services hadn’t granted
him any time with the kids. Yet. Last night was just a chance for
the kids to see their father without Social Services knowing.

She’d insisted they eat dinner with the rest
of the Castle family. After a month and a half of whole, real food,
she wasn’t going to risk the kids reverting back to their chicken
nuggets diet. Plus, Jill would keep an eye on them.

“
Yes, yes, sure,” Aden had
said.

The wedding party’s infectious cloud of
excitement had drifted into Sandy. She’d returned from work a
little after eight. She smiled her way through a quick shower and
went to find the kids. She’d looked all over the Castle for them
and finally knocked on Aden’s apartment door.

Aden had opened the door wearing only his
jeans. His twice-a-day prison workouts had enhanced his washboard
stomach and wide shoulders. He’d gone from fit to incredibly hot.
She had to gulp back the primal feelings generated by his body.

“
Are the kids here?” she’d
said.

“
They were tired,” Aden
said. “I guess they go to bed earlier now.”

“
We try to settle down
around eight,” Sandy said. “But they’re usually awake until
nine.”

“
They crashed,” he said. “I
let them take my bed. They seem so grown up. It’s nice they can
still share a bed.”

“
They’re not supposed to
spend the night away from me.”

“
I’ll wake them,” he said.
He turned to get the kids.

“
What is it with Social
Services?” Sandy asked. “They really don’t like you. I’ve never
heard of a case where a parent lost custody like you have. And all
this struggle to get it back!”

“
They don’t like fathers.”
Aden turned back to the door.

“
What do you
mean?”

“
I don’t know,” Aden said.
“Maybe they don’t like people who’ve made mistakes. I’ve made a lot
of mistakes. I only had the amount of custody I had because Nuala
didn’t want the custody she was awarded.”

“
Do you want the kids
back?”

Aden sighed. He held the door open for her
to come in.

That was her first mistake. She should have
said good night and gone back to her apartment.

But he’d opened the door and she’d walked
into the one bedroom apartment. Aden had been watching hockey on
television with the sound off. He gestured to the couch. She sat
down in a nearby armchair. He sat down on the couch. After a long
look at the television, he shut it off.

“
Kids?”

“
Do I want the kids back?”
Aden asked. “I want my life back. Yes, I want the kids back. I want
my best friend and lover back. The only thing I have is my job and
with the new owner-employee structure, I’ll have to fight for that.
Thank God, I have my sobriety.”

“
I didn’t come here to
argue with you.” Sandy moved to get up.

“
When are we going to talk
about this, Sandy? The kids are asleep. You can go check on them
yourself. You’re not working. I’m not working. No one is around.
Why not talk about us, our life?”

“
What’s left to say?” Sandy
asked.

“
Outside of the basic
details of the kids, you don’t talk to me. I’ve been your friend
for seven years. For the first time in all that time, I have no
idea what’s going on with you. How do you like owning your own
studio? How is it working out with Pete? Do you see the same
people? How are you feeling? Are you still working out? I don’t
know anything. I’ve seen you every day this week and I miss you
more then when I was in prison.”

“
I can’t afford you,” Sandy
said. “I’m exhausted. My feelings are hurt. Everywhere I turn there
are three or four things I forgot to do. I can’t afford the mental
and emotional drama that goes along with you.”

“
What if there’s no drama?”
Aden smiled. “I’ll rub your feet.”

Not really believing him, she lifted her
right foot.

Second mistake. She should have left, walked
out. Said she was tired and gone back to the apartment. But she
didn’t.

He slipped off her shoe and began to rub her
feet.

“
I bet these are sore,” he
said. “Have you gained weight?”

“
Not a lot,” Sandy said.
“The doctor thinks I’ve lost weight even though I’m about fifteen
pounds heavier. I was always kind of soft. I’m not
anymore.”

Aden’s fingers were sheer bliss for her
tired feet. She felt waves of tension release from her legs. She
leaned back into the chair.

“
How do you like owning a
studio?” he asked.

“
I like it. Pete’s working
out well. I think he and Molly are going to go on a date tomorrow
night. God, Molly. She’s one brave woman. But then they have three
kids. She told me she’s hanging in there with Pete for the
kids.”

Sandy shrugged.

“
I think she really loves
him,” Aden said. “Like I used to think you loved me.”

“
That’s so unfair.” Sandy
jerked her foot out of his lap and slipped on her shoe. “I’ve been
here cleaning up the wreckage you left behind and you expect
everything to be hunky dory. Just say ‘I’m sorry’ and it’s all
over. That’s not how it works, Aden.”

Jumping to her feet, she moved toward the
door. He reached the door before she could open it.

“
Don’t leave.” Aden stood
with his hand holding the door closed.

“
You’re standing in the
middle of how much I love you and you refuse to see it,” Sandy
said. “I take care of your children. I’ve paid your bills. I’ve
negotiated with Social Services. All of this crap doesn’t have
anything to do with me. My entire life has turned upside down
because of you. And you want more. What more can you possibly want
from me?”

“
You’re right. I’m sorry.
I’m being selfish and ungrateful.”

“
I cannot afford you,”
Sandy said.

She tried to get out the door. He held it
closed.

“
I’ve started going to
therapy,” Aden said.

She stopped moving. Facing the door, she
worked to catch her breath.

“
I realized that I created
all this chaos because I don’t like myself very much. I don’t.
That’s true,” Aden said. “I’ve always put the kids in therapy. They
don’t need therapy. I do. I’m on a whole life program. Mind, body,
spirit. I’ve been going to meetings. I have a new trainer. You’d
laugh but I even went to confession.”

“
You’re not Catholic,” she
said.

“
Actually, I am,” he said.
“I was raised Catholic. I figured you would baptize my son, so I
should get back up to speed.”

“
Your son is already
baptized.”

“
This son.”

His large hands touched her belly.

And that was it.

She didn’t remember who made the first move.
Probably Aden.

They were naked in moments. His hands moved
over her body then his mouth. Pressed against the door, she rushed
to climax. He lifted her from where she stood and carried her to
the couch.

He’d left her for a moment and returned with
condoms. He hadn’t been tested since prison. While he was sure
there wasn’t an issue, he didn’t want her to worry since he bled in
prison. She’d laughed.

Yet in that deep place which keeps track of
things, she counted this in his favor.

He was insatiable. He wanted every piece of
her. They made love for hours. At some point, he went to his
kitchen. He and the kids had made her chocolate chip cookies.

And that place that keeps track of things
scored him another point for making her favorite cookies.

They ate cookies and milk until he was ready
to go again. And go they did.

Sandy looked at the clock. She’d been asleep
for about three hours. She groaned. The kids would be up soon.

“
Regrets?” Aden
asked.

“
Feel stupid.”

“
I love you
Sandy.”

She sat up. He touched her back.

“
There’s no reason for us
to be apart,” he said.

“
There are some
reasons.”

“
Yes, I fucked up. Yes, I
betrayed you. Yes, I didn’t believe that I deserved my great life
so I messed it up and left you to pick up the pieces. That’s a
shitty selfish thing to do,” Aden said. “I’m not perfect. I don’t
do things perfectly. All I can do is try to be the best man I know
how to be. Every day.”