Choices (7 page)

“Hello, Brandon. Thank you so much for coming. I’m really excited about getting some new ideas for the sunroom.
I really need to get this completed before I go back on the nursing schedule at CHOP. I took a sabbatical this year. I’m brushing up on some skills and I’m getting back on the schedule this fall when the kids go back to school. I’m sure you would much rather be lazing on the beach.” 
Whew, there I did it. I don’t think I sounded too idiotic.

“No, that’s okay, I don’t really laze anyway. I’m too jittery. I usually have to keep my brain and my body active. I have a lot of little kid energy. I’m sure I drove my mother crazy. This will be a great project for me before I go to New York.” Wow, his eyes really are intense. 

“Well, that’s good to hear. I hope you like a challenge.”

“I thrive on challenges.” His eyes glinted in the sun and his little lopsided smirk was just adorable.

“Can I offer you anything to drink or eat before you get started? It’s starting to get hot and I’m sure the sunroom will be hot as well.”

“Hey,
I’ll take some iced tea or lemonade, if you have any that would be just fine.”  I managed to gather some classes from the cabinet and thankfully threw my overheated head into the refrigerator forcing myself to calm down and not be a total and complete idiot. I was forcing myself to remember his look of disgust as we left the party. Because I have a tendency to wear my feelings on my face, I wanted to make sure I cooled it down in the fridge first. I was thinking of the Victoria Secret catalogue again and praying that I wouldn’t do anything stupid and if I did I could blame it on the sexy underwear I was constantly thinking about.
God, you are such a jackass! Behave yourself the kid is here for work!
  Before I got too carried away with myself, I managed to pour him a glass of iced tea and hand it to him too!  One good thing about Paul, he makes a killer glass of homemade iced tea!

“Thanks. Have you eaten lunch yet?” Well, that surprised me! It must have shown on my face as usual.

“What you don’t eat lunch?” He threw me one hell of a sexy lopsided smile that made me want to stick my head in the fridge again becaus
e I’m sure my surprise wasn’t the only thing showing.

“Me?
Yes. I mean no.”

“No? No, you don’t eat lunch or no you haven’
t eaten lunch, yet.”  I giggled.
Oh, he’s charming to boot! Terrific! Hmmm…pg 34 had a super sexy, lacy, purple balconet bra…STOP!!!

“
No, I haven’t had lunch. Are you hungry? I would be happy to get something for you to eat.” I quickly ran through the availability of things in my pantry and refrigerator while I chuckled about the purple lace bra.

“What’s so funny?” He rubbed his hands together and narrowed his eyes at me as
he turned to look at the deck.

“Hmm…funny? Oh, nothing. Um…what interests you?”
I asked as innocently as possible.

He raised his left eyebrow and threw me that sexy, devilish smile that had me thinking of the purple bra again. I’m sure my face was flushing to the color of a beet. He nodded toward the deck and said, “
I see you have an excellent grill on the back deck. I would be more than happy to cook some burgers or dogs if you don’t mind. I love to be outside and I love to grill. I can grill a pretty mean burger.” He smiled and showed the most gorgeous set of white teeth. Does this boy possess anything ugly? And now he wants to cook me lunch!

“You’re going to make me lunch? Are you serious? You don’t have to do that. I’d be happy t
…”

“No, I insist. My mom told me how hard you work and I thought if you had everythin
g I could put my skills to work and it seems like you could use some pampering.” He smiled again and this time I had to put my hand on the pantry door to steady myself.
Shit!! He heard about what happened with Paul while I was talking to Toni! Damn! Well, duh, he did watch you leave! Christ!
I took a deep breathe and swallowed hard and chose to gloss over his last comment and just talk about lunch. I was not getting into my relationship with Paul with him. I put on my best mask which for me really isn’t saying much but I tried anyway.

“Um
, I think I have some frozen burgers and dogs in the…um, wait, why would you, you don’t have..” He cut me off before I could finish my thought.

“Laurel, when was the last time anyone made you lunch?” Hmm I had to think about that one.

“Ah, I don’t know. It’s been a long time. I’ve lost track.”

“Well, then, say thank you and enjoy the pampering.”
Well, he did have a point, there and it’s only lunch, it’s not like we’re going up to the bedroom… on pg. 35 were the matching purple panties…
I shook my head to get some fast needed clarity.

“So, I take it that’s a yes then, by the shake of your wild woman hair, which is fantastic by the way. It looks great on you, you wear it well.”
Oh, no, don’t compliment me, you’re not helping this old lady who is not very good in the self control department anymore…pg. 66 had an emerald green push up… STOP! You are married, even if you are unhappy, you are married.
I found myself smiling despite my inner torment.

“Um, Okay I guess. Thank you for making lunch and the wild woman hair compliment. It’s taken me quit
e some time to accept the beauty of it.” I smiled unsteadily feeling my blood thicken and my pulse quicken.

“Well, your hair isn’t the only thing about you that’s fantastic.” I frowned at that comment.

“Sorry. I get carried away sometimes. That was inappropriate, but true very, true.” He flashed those brilliant teeth again moved closer to me and gently caressed a springy curl around his finger and I could hear my heartbeat roar in my ears.
Oh, no, carry on, carry on!
I cleared my throat and took a step sideways to get some distance.

“
I’ll go get the food.” I managed to croak out between parched lips.

“Good, I will go warm up the grill.”
His smile was the reason the phrase butterflies in the stomach was created.

E
ven with the simplest task of making lunch, Brandon oozed confidence and determination. He moved effortlessly around the deck and the grill. I was amazed. Paul liked his grill but more so the idea of grilling than the actual grilling itself. Watching Brandon from the kitchen as I gathered our supplies, I was stunned by this young boy’s genuine sincerity. Now, I was acutely aware of the huge acrobatic activity in my stomach as I carried our food onto the deck.

“Okay, here we go. Burgers, dogs, buns, cheese, tomatoes, lettuce, condiments, iced green tea, leftover pasta salad, and I threw together a green salad.”

“Oh, wow, that’s great. I found all the grilling utensils. Paul keeps his grill in tiptop shape.

“Yes, he does. Listen, Brandon, you really don’t need to do this. I invited you here for ideas about my sunroom. You don’t need to make me lunch.
I feel rather silly.” I sighed and ran my hand through my riotous curls which was starting to curl vigorously due to the humidity and my own natural heat.

“You feel silly because someone wants to make you lunch? I would be overjoyed.” There was that smile again and a huge flash of white.

“Yes, I do. I’m not used to someone cooking for me. I am the chief cook and bottle washer. I don’t think Paul even knows where the dishes are.” I smiled back but I’m sure my smile wasn’t nearly as captivating as his.

“Okay, enough talk, sit down and be in the moment.”  He pulled out a patio chair for me. “Relax and soak up some rays while I finish our lunch.
From the looks of things at the party you look like you deserve to have some rest.” I did as I was told and tried to relax but I was a little rubbed by that comment.

“What do mean ‘by the looks of things’?” I tried to ask without sounding hostile.

“Laurel, how long has your husband been a drunk?” He looked directly and intently into my eyes.

Wow!, right to the chase!
I was trying to be highly insulted, annoyed, and indignant.
Oh who the hell am I kidding, of course he knows, it’s so blatantly obvious! Let it go Laurel and answer the damn question.

I let out a deep sigh and shaded my hand over my eyes while I looked up at him, “Ever since I’ve known him, for about twenty years. I ignored so much while we were dating and in the early years of our marriage and now I just...” I was on the verge of tears and turned my head away from him
. It was so good to let it out, to say it, to put it out there in the universe and let the universe deal with it for a little while. It was a relief to tell this stranger, this young boy, in fact one of my darkest secrets and within hours of meeting him again.
What the hell are you doing?
He didn’t even seem fazed or uncomfortable or ridiculously immature about it. He seemed perfectly fine as a matter of fact as if he simply asked me what time it was.

“
I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. Jo is always after me for being so direct, too direct. She says it’s one of my greatest qualities to a fault. I didn’t mean to pry.” He turned away from the grill and came to squat down in front of me where I was sitting in a deck chair. “I will say this, though, Laurel, any man who treats you the way he treated you that afternoon at the party doesn’t deserve to be married to someone like you.” I nodded, still feeling a little rubbed because really, in all honesty, he didn’t know Paul. But deep down, deep down in that little lean to I built for myself to help me stay sane, to help me survive and keep going for my children, I knew he was right. I patted his hand that rested on my knee, feeling the muscles and tendons and scratchy skin of a man who worked with his hands and knew I was going to be in deep trouble. Deep trouble even Victoria’s little secret wasn’t going to help me.  He smiled and laid his hand over mine and gently squeezed then shot up to tend to the grill.

“
So Laurel, my mom tells me you’re a pediatric nurse at Children’s Hospital. Your days must be busy for sure with your own kids and being a mommy to other people’s kids as well. It’s an honorable position that’s for sure. I don’t think I would have the patience to work with kids.” He flipped our burgers first and then leaned into the shade of the deck umbrella to grab a swig of his iced tea.

“Yes, I
am. I’ve been a nurse for let’s see…um twenty years now. Gosh, I hadn’t really thought about how long I have been a nurse.  I took some time off from nursing to have my babies. Where did the time go? It seems as though the days are endless and the years just fly by. I guess I really am showing my age now, aren’t I?”  I started to blush while he served my burger with cheese and lettuce and tomato. I took a small bite and chewed thoughtfully, while he sat down across from me at the patio table. He took a bite as well. “Not my best cooking, but it will do. How’s yours?” He asked as he raised one bushy well groomed eyebrow quizzically. “It’s very good. I hope your plans for the sunroom are as good as your burgers are.” I replied.

“Do you enjoy nursing
? I can imagine it must be really energizing and exhausting all at the same time. I dated a girl who was studying to be a nurse and that was how she explained it to me. It looks just plain old exhausting to me.” He chewed and swallowed and poured himself another glass of iced tea.

“I enjoy nursing
and your girlfriend was exactly right. It is exhilarating and exhausting all at the same time. I love helping someone who’s sick. It takes me out of my own selfishness.  Sometimes the whining can be nerve racking but, you get accustomed to it. The little ones are easy to love and care for and most days I feel like a rock star with all their hugs and kisses.” I swallowed my own iced tea and refilled his glass.

“She isn’t my girlfriend, just someone I dated causally. Does anyone older than four give you hugs and kisses?” He grinned a devilish grin this time and possessed a burning intensity in his Caribbean blue eyes. Whoa! I didn’t see that one coming! I’m sure I was blushing scarlet at that question. Thankfully, the heat was my savior regarding my blush.
Strange. He was intently staring at me this time as if he was trying to read my mind.

“That’s an odd question. Of course I do. My kids give me hugs all the time
.” I finished my lunch and my iced tea and pushed my plate away from me.

“You didn’t mention Paul, your husband. What about him?”
  I felt about as grilled as the burgers with that question.

“Of course he does, when he is home.”
I said indignantly albeit quietly.

Brandon leaned back in his chair and furrowed his brow together. “That’s good to know. It would be a shame if he neglected such a beautiful and talented wife.
I know I’m sorry I said I wouldn’t be so direct. See, I’m like an old dog you can’t teach it new tricks.” Okay now I was on fire for sure.

“Thank you for the compliment.
That’s kind of you to say. No worries, even though he struggles, I’m not neglected.” I started to clear the table and realized that I was feeling slightly annoyed not because he was prying but because he hit the nail on the head.

“I’m sorry. I’ve upset you again.
I didn’t mean to do that. I just hate to see women taken for granted. They should be cherished. Here sit down and I’ll clear the table too.”