Choices (11 page)

“Get away from me! You make me sick.”

Sick, is it? Yeah, well I feel the same about you right now too” He pushed his entire length against me, right into the wall, so hard, I couldn’t breathe. He whispered in my ear, his voice low and menacing, “Laurel, if you ever mention to me again about being an alcoholic, I’m leaving and I know how you feel about men leaving you, don’t I sweetheart?” Oh, he was fighting dirty, now the rat bastard. I shoved as hard as I could to get him off me. I was determined not to cry, determined not to show him how he wounded me in the worst possible way, the most delicate part of me, the part I trusted to him and no other man before other than the one who abandoned me. I stilled not wanting to fight anymore and feeling like I was going to throw up myself. It was later on that day I found the first two by four for the leant to I built to support my heart, I came to find out a few hours later I was already pregnant, pregnant with our baby Vanessa, the first two by four.

“Good, now that I see that you’ve calmed down, I’m taking a shower. What should we do today, sweetheart?”

The buzzing of the phone
snapped me back to the here and now and made me realize I was still holding it in my hands. I hung up the phone and got ready for bed. My dreams were confusing and enticing.

To protect myself from my own wanton desires, I did not schedule a play date or arrange a babysitter for today’s visit. I swore to myself that I was not going to primp and pretend that I was going on a date. Fat chance. Of course I cursed myself while I primped in the mirror. Vanessa came into my bathroom and asked why I was looking so smiley and getting dressed to go out in the middle of the afternoon. I quickly traded the sundress for a pair of cut offs, flip flops, headband and t-shirt. Little did I know I was fueling his fire.

“Mommy, can we go swimming while you meet with the arc-a-whatever dude?” Brielle asked breathlessly while she wiggled into her bathing suit.

“Architect. Yes, you may. You will be in my line of fire while I am in the sunroom.” I answered her distractedly while I straightened up the house, again.

“Do I have to wear my swimmies, Mommy?” Now it was Jake’s turn.

“You know the rules Jake. If there is no adult in the pool, you must wear your swimmies until you are ready to take your swim test.” Since I was on the swim team all through school and my husband was a lifeguard during high school and college, we created our own swim test for the kids once they started swimming on their own.

I bustled around the house and of course my oldest was close on my heels.

“What’s going on?” Vanessa scrutinized me from head to toe.

“What do you mean what’s going on? I’m straightening up as usual because my children forget the rules.

“Yeah, but you’re humming. Usually you’re throwing things around and huffing and puffing.”

I stopped and turned to face her.

“I do.”

“You’re usually cursing under your breath, thinking we can’t hear you and today you’re smiling and humming. What’s up?” Holy cow, she was so perceptive, when and where did that come from? I stopped dead in my tracks, a million thoughts rushed through my head,
she knows, am I that unhappy?, be cool today Laurel, God, I can’t wait to see him, yikes - focus Laurel.

“I’m excited because I’m finally getting someone to look at the sunroom.”

“Yeah, but you’ve had other people look at the sunroom too. Why does this one have you so excited?”

Oh, Good Lord! Always with the questions. Sometimes, I think I gave birth to my mother!

“Yes, but this one actually knows what he’s talking about and is a good listener.”
Not to mention kisser! Will you get control of yourself! You are the mother, here!

“Watch Jakie in the pool, please, while I met with the architect.” I whirled back around to continue what I was doing. I could feel her roll her eyes at me.

“OOOkay, if you insist. Jake, Mommy said I’m in charge, so you better listen or I’m a-gonna bench your butt.” She darted out to the backyard and I was able to take a deep breath and flop onto the couch. As usual my twelve year pointed out some interesting life facts. I’ll delve into them later, right now, I need to get my head in gear and keep my libido in check. I heard the red truck in my driveway.

I felt lightheaded and my heart raced. My mouth was dry and I was breathing in spurts. I brushed off the fuzz and dust and checked in the mirror before I rushed out to the driveway.
Easy, now, let’s not be too eager. Oh, for the love of God, get a grip. HA! Yesterday was a fluke! You’ll see.

Wow! My brain zigzagged and I sucked in what I’m sure was quite an audible breath. I bit my lip to remind myself to behave. I actually felt a little wobbly. Of course, he h
ad a day old scruff, of course he had board shorts, a surfboard in the bed of his truck and camping gear. He was putting on his shirt as he was getting out of his truck. I was able to get a first hand look at what was underneath the white button down I first saw him in. He was amazing; rock hard as granite and brilliantly beautiful. If I was a little wobbly before, I was down right unsteady and heady now for sure. He glided over to me with the quickness of a feline.

“Hi Laurel, you look beautiful.” He took my hand in his and the rush of electricity
and heat was unbearable. He was too close, too beautiful, too woodsy - God the smell of him. I don’t think I’ll ever forget it as long as I live. He was just too much of everything. I quickly withdrew my hand and nervously looked behind me at the pool. His eyes followed mine.

“I take it we are not alone. Okay, no problem. I’ll behave myself.
I should behave myself, especially after what I did yesterday. I should apologize too. I’ve never went after a married woman, NEVER! I should behave myself, I should apologize, I should do a lot of things but, you are making it very hard and I really don’t want to. I absolutely love cut off denim shorts.” He whispered in my ear and I could feel his breath, his hair and his day old scruff tickle the side of my face. Okay, woozy, is a pretty good word to describe my head right now.
Holy shit so maybe I wasn’t dreaming, maybe yesterday really did happen. Keeping my kids with me today was an excellent idea! Chalk one up for Laurel.

He too
k a step back, turned and walked back to his truck. I followed him to get a better look. Man, he was neat and organized too! Was this guy for real?

“Hey, let me just get my things together before I need to be professional.” He smiled a lazy lopsided smile that was a cross between incredibly boyish and drop dead sexy.

“I notice that you have some camping gear in the back of your truck.” I forced my mouth to form words once I recovered from the force of his smile.

“Yeah, a little camping and horseback riding on the beach this weekend. Do you like to camp?”

“Oh, me? I love to camp. Are you going to camp on the beach?”

“Yep.”

“I always wanted to do that! Are you going with a girlfriend, er, I mean any friends or are you going alone? I’m sorry I’m being nosy. That’s really none of my business.” I shifted on my feet trying to prepare myself for his answer.

“Laurel, I told you, I don’t have a girlfriend and yes, I am going by myself. You would really like to go camping on the beach or are you just joking?” He narrowed his hypnotic blue eyes as to gauge whether or not I was telling the truth.

“I would absolutely love to go camping on the beach! There is this tiny little island in Southwest Florida called Keewayland Island that is truly beautiful. Every time we go on vacation to Naples we take a pontoon boat out to the island and many people set up camp. It’s quiet, deserted and so peaceful and serene. It feels as if you are at the edge of the world. I would be beside myself if I got the chance to go there and camp!” I realized I was babbling and I quickly shut my mouth.

“No, don’t stop talking about it. I love to see the sparkle in your eyes when you do. Your whole face lights up. Well, I’m not going
back to Florida and I know exactly what island you’re talking about, but, I am going to Assateague for the weekend and watch the wild horses run free. I enjoy the solace as well. Maybe you should come with me sometime?”
Again with the lazy, sexy, lopsided smile. Gosh darn, direct too.
I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to feel at that comment, invitation, suggestion, whatever it was. We don’t even know each other and here he is suggesting we go away together. Is it presumptuous? Should I be offended? Really, what I wanted to do was climb in the passenger side of his bright red truck and throw caution and planning to the wind and embrace a free spirit that I wished I had the courage to possess.

“Yeah, like you would really like to have a married woman who is forty with kids, be your travel companion for a weekend camping at the beach.” I replied sarcastically.

“Laurel, as a matter of fact, I would be delighted if you would join me sometime.” He winked and gathered his things together. “Let’s take a look at your sunroom and you can tell me your ideas.” He walked past me, held the door open for me and we walked into the sunroom.

He sat down immediately and started to sketch a picture of the current condition of the sunroom. Brandon asked me to express my wants and needs for the ro
om.   I explained that I wanted the room to possess maximum efficiency and be warm and comfortable. It had to serve a dual purpose of playroom and mudroom and have easy access to the outside.  I marveled at how gracefully his hands glided across the page and again I found myself imaging them gliding over my skin. His eyes were intense and his brow was furrowed as he sketched. Brandon was focused and his concentration was written all over his beautiful face just making him even more spectacular. I noticed that when he was really intent and focused, one luscious bulging vein popped out on his forehead running from his scalp all the way to his eyebrows. Even his forehead conjured up thoughts for new uses of my tongue. He truly possessed an amazing gift for analyzing space, creating new space rearranging old space but, honestly I think his talent lies in true artistry. His work would be captivating.  While I was in full remodeling mode, Jake’s scream of pain captured my attention. Brielle came running in to tell me Jake had fallen and scraped his chin badly. Brandon told me to tend to the kids and that he had a good sense of what I was looking for in the sunroom. He would finish his drawings and ideas in a little while. I agreed and went to check on Jake. Fortunately, Jake was fine. Nothing a little ice and a kiss from Mommy couldn’t fix. I sat and held him on my lap and smoothed his hair and hummed a sweet little tune to him while his crying lessened.

“Mommy, please come swimming with us?’
Jake lifted his head out of my lap and gazed at me with those innocent blue eyes. He was hard to refuse.

“Jake, honey, Mommy needs to stay here and see if Brandon needs my help with anything.”

“Is Brandon the arch-a-whatever dude that Brielle said he was?”

“Yes, he is the ar-chi-tect.” I stated with emphasis so he could pronounce the word correctly. He quickly leapt off my lap and jumped into the pool without his swimmies. I quickly rushed to the side of the pool and before I knew it my two darling cherub girls had pushed me into the pool. I swam to the side and proceeded to pull Vanessa in the water. I hopped out of the pool and chased Brielle around the perimeter of the pool, caught her and threw her in the deep end. I jumped in after them with my clothes still on to their delight and giggles. We were playing Marco Polo after we finished our relay race games and the wave pool
, when Brandon emerged from the sunroom. I hadn’t noticed but we were playing in the pool for over an hour when he stepped out. I quickly jumped out of the pool to dry off and I figured I would introduce the kids.

“Okay, little people front and center please so I can introduce you to the ar-chi-tect. They lined up in correct birth order and the introductions begun. “Brandon, this is Vanessa, my oldest, Brielle, short for Gabrielle, who is the one in the mi
ddle and this is Jacob the baby, who you already met.” He gallantly shook each of their hands and I could tell that my hormones weren’t the only ones surging. Vanessa’s eyes were quite huge as well.

“Hey, I ain’t no baby!” Jake squeaked.

“Oh, I totally get that little man.” Brandon ruffled Jake’s hair. “I hated it when my mom introduced me to someone as her baby, too. In fact sometimes she still does.” Brandon smiled that lazy smile that somehow looked even sexier to me if that was possible as he talked to Jake. Jake nodded in total agreement. Instant bonding.

“So, will you be the one to fix up the sunroom?” Brielle asked with that radiant smile that only she
was possible of projecting.

“If the boss lady over here likes it, I’d be happy to transform your current sunroom into the mudroom/playroom of your dreams.”  Brandon chuckled
as he bowed gallantly at the waist and my little people beamed. “I have the rough draft of plans here in my case. Mom and Dad can look at it when they get a chance and let me know what they think.” Brandon handed over the cylinder tube to me.

“You don’t look like an architect, especially in those boar
d shorts and flip flops. You look like a life guard for the beach.” Vanessa, always the suspicious one.

“No, I suppose I don’t the way I’m dressed now but I can assure you I am an architect and I have the college loans to prove it.” Vanessa wasn’t impressed. Brielle, however, squealed with delight. “You went to college! My mom went to college, too!” That sent a roar of laughter out of Brandon
and made the waves on the top of his head dance in the sunlight and made my wet skin shiver even in the heat.